Message Women – Don’t Wait For Them To Message You

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Message Women – Don’t Wait For Them To Message You

Over the last few weeks, I've gotten emails from several guys all with the same problem: They're spending an inordinate amount of time focusing on the women who open them online first.  We're talking about women who email you first, out of the blue, before you've ever even seen their profile.

-By Caleb Jones

Statistics time.

In my entire illustrious "career" of having sex with women via online game, and that means four and a half years with a lot of woman of all ages and types, I have only had sex with one woman who emailed me first.  That's right.  One. I would say that less than 10% of the women who email me first are hot enough for me to even bother setting up a date with.  The vast majority of them are "very average" looking, i.e. not worth my time. 

Many of them are downright ugly (even though I clearly say in my profile I only date women who are "hot"...I just love these ugly chicks who think think they're attractive, or even worse, think that their intelligence somehow makes up for the fact they look like a 4).

With the few women who emailed me first whom I did actually did bother to get out to a date, the vast majority of them were stuck in the 1950's dating model.  I.E. dinner dates, "treat me like a lady" stuff, putting off sex for as long as possible, provider hunting, etc.  There may not be enough for a statistical sample but I'm just telling you what I've experienced: women who emailed me were much more problematic on dates than women I targeted and opened myself. 

Which makes sense if you think about it.  They are selecting you, so you don't really know what you're getting.  Wouldn't YOU rather be the selector?  Selecting the women YOU like?  Instead of being selected and crossing your fingers and hoping you'll like her and it all works out?

Hoping your profile will do all the hard work for you will never get you laid, or even get you a lot of dates.  So if you ever find yourself doing any of the following:

Obsessing over your profile to get more women to "email you".  (That's not what your profile is for.  It's to simply raise the odds of women YOU email to respond to you.  It's NOT for getting cold women to email you out of the blue.) Spending time closely examining all the women who have viewed your profile and not emailed you and trying to figure out why. Tracking rates of women who view your profile, and/or view your profile and do or do not email you.

...then you need to stop wasting your time and start sending out tons and tons of openers to women YOU like.  I promise you, getting laid online is about sending out openers and every guy who is good at online game will tell you the exact same thing.

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This article was originally published on May 29, 2011

Comments


  • Mariano 2015-11-14 14:06:02

    Hey Dragon how are you? I've been using online dating for a few months and I came up with a "formula" to detect the girl is actually interested and open to date or not: It's very simple, if the girl asks questions about you, or gives longer answers than average, then there's a good chance that I will actually see her in real life. Until now this has worked very well, the other girls that didn't comply with the method just refused to give me their number or simply didn't want to date. From all the girls that actually comply with the formula, there's still a chance that I won't see her, for example: I got like 10 numbers but just met up with 3 of them. What is your experience on this? How you detect interest in girls online? How do you know if you are wasting your time on a girl or not? Thanks

  • Blackdragon 2015-11-16 10:57:55

    I’ve been using online dating for a few months and I came up with a “formula” to detect the girl is actually interested and open to date or not: It’s very simple, if the girl asks questions about you, or gives longer answers than average, then there’s a good chance that I will actually see her in real life.
    Not bad but I've had sex with plenty of women via online who didn't do those things.
    How you detect interest in girls online? How do you know if you are wasting your time on a girl or not?
    I pitch the meet within 2-3 exchanges and instantly next them if they don't answer yes. The only exception is if she's under 23 and I have to deal with an age difference issue, then I'll give them a little more time before I pitch. In other words, I never waste time.  

  • Mariano 2015-11-18 11:57:09

    Oh I see. I think you are a lot more experienced and actually use that as an advantage, you are looking to get laid very fast. I'm very inexperienced, so there's no way I can actually get laid on my first/second date, I need a lot of comfort first. Thanks for answering, I suppose experience is going to guide me in the right way.

  • Gil Galad 2017-03-06 10:13:00

    BD, is there any interest in re-messaging girls who initially didn't respond or left the conversation ? On OkCupid I "hide" the profile of every chick who doesn't respond so that I don't have to remember who I messaged and who I didn't, but I'm just wondering if I'm not giving myself a disservice by crossing out any girl who doesn't answer within X time.