When To Call Her Back


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When To Call Her Back

It's an old joke now and I won't insult you by repeating all the jokes you've probably already heard. The answer to that question is: It depends on the circumstances. "Calling her back" after you just got her number at the grocery store is very different than "calling her back" after you had sex with her for the first time, and both of those are different than "calling her back" after a first date.

-By Caleb Jones

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Is too soon worse than too late? Again it depends. If you have not had sex with her yet, a little too soon is usually better than too late, especially if she's a younger gal. If you wait too long, you'll be out of her mind forever and she'll be on to the next guy. Too soon, you risk looking too needy and "just like all the other guys", but at least you're still in her orbit and thus your odds are still more than zero. Women move on to new partners (or potential partners) FAST, much faster than men, and if you have not had sex with her yet, you are the lowest priority item in her life.

If you have had sex with her at least twice, that's a completely different story. That means you're out of the seduction phase and into the relationship phase, even if she's only an FB. Thus you want to err on the side of TOO LONG rather than too soon. Call her back too soon, and she knows she's got you by the balls. Say hello to drama, reduced attraction, and betaization. Waiting too long will put the fear of god into her, and now she's missing you. Say hello to increased attraction and compliance.

Of course the ideal is not too soon OR too late. You want to be "just right", and hit that "just right" as often as possible. It's impossible to give you an overall guide that accurately covers "just right" in all situations since every situation will be different, but generally speaking, just "right right" usually falls into these time frames:

Situation "Just Right" (in most cases) Best Way To Contact
Just got her number from a cold approach 24 to 48 hours Text
After scheudling a first date via online dating 2 to 3 days before the date (comfort bombardment and to confirm) Text, IM, or phone call
Just after the first date 24 to 48 hours or if she contacts you, whichever happens first Text
Just after the second date if sex did not occur The next day Text
Just after having sex with her the first time The next day, and be nice (to assuage buyers remorse) Text or Facebook message
After having sex with her twice on two separate occasions Whenever you want Any
After she ignores two contacts from you (texts, calls, whatever) 60 days Text
After soft nexting her due to drama (applies to women you have already fucked) 3 to 7 days, and don't discuss the next Text After soft nexting her due to drama (applies to women you have not fucked) Never! Hard next and move on to other women! - After a LSNFTE 60 to 90 days Text or Facebook message
first date advice, first online date, online dating advice, meaning of an open relationship, traits of an alpha male

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This article was originally published on July 17, 2011
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  • illuzsion 2011-07-18 06:32:16

    Whoa! Great stuff BD. This cleares a lot of misconception and confusions I had. Also gives me insight on the many flakes I had. Good Props. illuzsion

  • Dennis 2011-07-18 08:04:06

    I thought after a LSNFTE you wait for them to contact you...like with a text "how ya doing" or something like that. Are you saying you contact a LSNFTE in 60-90 days. If so what do you text?

  • Blackdragon 2011-07-19 17:09:16

    You do wait for them to contact you, but not forever. If months have gone by and you've heard nothing, you should send her a very casual "how's it going?" text and feel things out. You would also do this if her Facebook status goes from "In a relationship" to "single". I've "resurrected" many, many women like this.

  • Trent 2016-08-31 10:19:54

    Very late to the thread but RE: "After she ignores two contacts from you (texts, calls, whatever)" and waiting 60 days, how does that relate girls post 'lock-in' (of MLTRs). Obviously seeing them once a week rule is in action but in the case of 2 ignored contacts to meet up that week (i.e. date pitch, follow up on previous date pitch), do you find that just making plans with other girls instead, and re-connecting as though nothing happened the next week works fine? Then if she ignores messages again, assume you've been nexted and focus your attention on other girls until she contacts you first? Cheers!

  • Blackdragon 2016-08-31 11:14:58

    You could try one more time, then move on (and contact again in a few months). If a woman you're already seeing suddenly stops responding to your texts, it's likely because she's found a new guy.

  • Logun 2016-11-13 04:50:35

    A girl that I haven't meet yet we were looking to meet up but due our busy life's we have been unable to do so. Not to long ago we spoke the phone cut off due to my battey then again due to bad phone reception . I contacted her with 2 calls and a message then the next day with1 call but no reply. Did I over do it by contacting her 4 times from an outcome independence point of view

  • Blackdragon 2016-11-13 12:33:01

    A girl that I haven’t meet yet

  • Alejandro 2018-01-17 11:34:23

    After scheduling a first date through online you say to wait: 2 to 3 days before the date (comfort bombardment and to confirm)" What do you mean by "comfort bombardment"? Do you have something you've written on this, or would you mind giving some examples? Thanks.

  • Harry 2018-03-09 09:05:24

    BD, it seems inconsistent:   After a LSNFTE 60 to 90 days when there is an article that says at least 4 months and 4-to-6 months.

  • Sachmo 2018-10-01 21:41:38

    I read this years ago when you first posted it, and stumbled on it again.  This post is pure gold.  You really need to repost / highlight some of your old stuff from time to time.

  • g 2019-10-22 18:29:48

    For this row: After she ignores two contacts from you (texts, calls, whatever) Is this post lock-in only or both pre- and post?