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Text Game Part 3
Here's the third installment on text game that gets you laid, or in many cases keeps you getting laid. In part one, we talked about the overall frame to have and used some examples. In part two, we talked about when to shut up and not text her.
-By Caleb Jones
One item I will repeat from part one: During texting, always keep things light, even if she's upset. Use smiley faces 🙂 and LOL, even if it seems immature to do so. Anger and sarcasm do NOT translate well over texts. Modern-day women are easily offended. If you use either over this communication medium, odds are high that you will lose.
It's going to take several separate blog posts to cover all the situations I have in mind. This post covers the first three on the list. Some occur in during the dating/seduction process, other occur in relationships when you're already seeing her.
Situation: Bitching about your schedule.
With younger women, this is when she complains you are unavailable too often. With older women, this occurs when your busy schedule doesn't match with her busy schedule (which, of course, is all your fault.)
"Well you can never hang out because you always have to work!"
"Well I really have trouble getting to know you because in the last three weeks we've only met up twice." (Unspoken addendum: Because she's been unavailable when you've tried to schedule dates with her.)
"Fuck I never get to spend time with you!"
What to do:
Be strong, but don't use logic. Re-direct the conversation away from the complaints and back to the goal, which is to see her again ASAP.
Bad response: "Listen, I work 8 to 5 every Tuesday through Saturday. Then sometimes I have to work a little later than that. It's a bad economy and I'm glad to have a job. I have to work you know. I have these things called 'bills'."
Bad response: "I've been trying my best to schedule things with you but you seem to be very busy yourself."
Good response: "Yep. I have a very full life. It's good. 🙂 How's next Thursday night or Saturday during the day?"
Situation: Flaking on a date.
Of course this happens a lot. Women are women which means they flake. Sometimes it's because they don't want to see you and are looking for an excuse. Sometimes it's because they're just being disorganized. Remember that scheduling and time management are very masculine, left-brain functions and most women, even very intelligent ones, have trouble managing a schedule in their personal lives.
And of course remember, it's never her fault, it's always your fault, and often she will imply this.
"OMG I'm sooooo sorry I forgot today is payroll day at work so I have to work late so I won't be able to make it!"
"Oh I haven't heard from you in the last few days and you didn't remind me about tonight so I can't make it tonight."
"I can't tonight. I've got to do homework."
Assess whether she doesn't want to see you and is just being nice, or if she does want to see you and she's just being the typical disorganized woman. In the first example above, there's an implication (at least) that she might want to really see you again. In the third example, she's probably just blowing you off and has no interest. It's up to you to sort through the feminine morass and confirm yea or nay.
The best way to do this is simply reschedule for a another date right then and there. Also, don't get pissed off or logical or needy. Chicks flake. It's what women to do. We burp and fart. Women flake. Get used to it.
Bad response: "We had a scheduled appointment for tonight at 6pm. You're being rude as hell. Don't ever waste my time like that again."
Bed response: "What about right after your work? I don't mind waiting up."
Good response: "No problem! I'm going to head out with some friends then. How about Tuesday at 6:30pm at the same place?"
If she then reschedules something with you right hen and there, great. If instead she responds with anything vague or wishy-washy, she's probably blowing you off. Terminate the conversation immediately ("I have to go.") and text her again in 24 - 48 hours, trying one more time to nail down a date and time for a meet. If she STILL farts around, next her ass and move on.
Situation: Pissed off about other women.
Even if you're into monogamous relationships (which you shouldn't be) you'll still get naggy jealousy texts from time to time, particularly if you're playing with women under age 27 or so. It could be while you're initially dating a woman and haven't made any commitments yet, or it could be during an FB or MLTR-type relationship. There are various levels of intensity to this, so I'll tackle each.
They key here with all the possible iterations of this is to not get defensive. If you start getting defensive, start making excuses, or start giving detailed explanations, guess what? SHE WINS. Your goal here is to have a very "yeah, whatever" or "yeah, so?" attitude about all of this.
Example 1, Low Intensity:
"So...I saw you were online on OKCupid the other day. Still looking for other women huh?"
This is really not a big deal, usually coming from a WD you haven't made commitments to yet. Just be silly and funny and blow it off.
Good response: "Oh...so YOU were on OKCupid too, huh? Still looking for other guys? LOL."
Example 2, Mid Intensity:
"Who's that bitch in your Facebook who commented about
This one is a little more intense, but it still is no big deal. Again, just be funny and cute and make it clear you're not interested in her sixth-grade level drama.
Good response: "Which one? The hot blonde chick or the hot redhead? I keep getting them confused. ;)"
Good response: "A chick commented on something? Dude...was she hot?"
Example 3, High Intensity:
"My friend Jennifer just told me you were making out with that blonde slut Suzi at out
I'm talking about if you get a text like this and you're NOT monogamous and have NOT promised monogamy to anyone. Women in FB / MLTR relationships are still going to get jealous from time to time, particularly A) when you are not discreet, or B) when they perceive (rightly or wrongly) that one or more of your other women have meaning for you.
This kind of text is usually "nexable" behavior, meaning it qualifies for a soft next, meaning you terminate all contact and ignore her for 2 to 7 days while she cools off. Calling you a piece of shit, or a liar, or an asshole, or whatever...that's all drama and we don't do drama. Next! Simply respond with ONE text of your own, showing that you're not pleased at her behavior AND that you don't care if she leaves your life.
Note that I said ONE text. Ignore anything she says afterwards unless it's a clearly honest apology. (Which you aren't going to get. She's too angry at this point.) Do NOT get into a conversation about this. That's one of the biggest mistakes guys make.
Good response 1: "Not cool. I've never called you names like that. I don't do this. You're welcome to make any decision you like."
Good response 2: "I'm not your boyfriend or your slave. I have the freedom to do what I want just like you do. If you don't like that, I understand and it's been nice being with you."
About 80% of the time, once she cools off, she'll be fine and you can resume the relationship as usual. About 20% of the time, her emotions will be so out of control she'll next herself and give you a "Don't ever call me again!". If she does that, do not respond, and let her go. Don't contact her for a very, very long time (three months at least) and go enjoy other women. Likely she'll be back someday. If she never comes back, she was never a woman of long-term quality to begin with.
Sometimes a woman will throw you text (or email or Facebook message) like this and she'll actually be wrong. As in, you actually weren't making out with that chick, or you were but she's only an FB and your gal is thinking she's an MLTR or OLTR, or she's flat out wrong about everything and you weren't even hanging out with the woman she's complaining about at all. I know a lot of you guys have run into this and I certainly have as well.
If this ever happens, don't correct her. Remember, never get defensive....even if you're in the right and she's completely factually incorrect. As men, we are fixers, so this will be extremely hard to do. Men love to "set people straight". Resist the urge and don't do it. If you start in with "I never fucked that chick! She's just a friend blah blah blah..." all you're going to do is piss her off even MORE, and now you're in true drama zone.
If she wants to think you're fucking someone you're not, or someone means something to you they don't, fine. Let her think that. You are an Alpha male (I hope) and it's not your job to explain the details of your life to anyone, particularly some irrational woman behaving like a 12 year-old. In addition, it's very bad open relationship practice to discuss details about other women with women you're dating.
In the next installment on text game, we'll discuss other situations that arise, including when she asks delicate questions before you lay her, when women nag you over texts, when they try "negotiate" the date, or when they text you way too much. Stay tuned.
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Hawk 2011-11-20 12:34:25
Hey, If a women gives me drama but then when I soft next her, she instantly replies with a sincere apology, do I still wait 2 to 7 days? for example: Her: I saw you making out with that girl you're such an asshole! blah blah blah Me: Your behaviour is unacceptable. take care ( or any variation of an alpha response. ) her: I'm really sorry I.....( and then she continues to submit a sincere apology.)
Rod 2011-11-20 12:57:05
Thanks BD, great advice! Looking forward to part 4!
Blackdragon 2011-11-20 16:54:01
The operative word is "instantly". If the very next text you receive after your text (and your example response was fantastic by the way) is a sincere apology, then fine. Say something like "Cool. I don't want to talk about this any more. You want to hang out on Tuesday?" Anything other than an apology warrants an instant soft next. The point here is you don't argue with her "until she apologies". I can tell you from experience an angry woman who suddenly calms down and apologies is a very rare thing.
Hawk 2011-11-21 15:06:55
Thanks, help appreciated. Looking forward to the next installment.
Ellie 2011-11-22 16:44:13
This is sort of related to text game, but I found the flaking part of this post interesting. For me, it depends how bad she flakes that if I keep her around or not. If she postpones our date within a day or so in advance (i.e. "OMG something came up I won't be able to make it this evening, can we reschedule? I'm free XYZ day"), then I'm totally cool with that. But if she doesn't show up at all (and acts like she didn't know we had something scheduled), or if she cancels like half an hour before we're supposed to meet up and I'm already traveling to the meeting spot, then I next her right away. Maybe you have a larger tolerance than I do, BD, but I just won't put up with a girl who disrespects my time like that. Coincidentally, I find the girls who already like you the most, will accommodate you in their schedules the best. They wouldn't even think of flaking on you without telling you well in advance.
Blackdragon 2011-11-22 22:57:07
Completely agree with everything you said. In my ebooks, I differentiate "flaking" (not showing up for a date with no warning and no communication) and "rescheduling" (cancelling on a date beforehand but offering to reschedule it for another time). Flaking is instant next, rescheduling is fine (as long as it's not a pattern of behavior).
big Daddy cool 2016-08-17 09:01:14
If she then reschedules something with you right hen and there, great. If instead she responds with anything vague or wishy-washy, she’s probably blowing you off. Terminate the conversation immediately (“I have to go.”) and text her again in 24 – 48 hours, trying one more time to nail down a date and time for a meet. If she STILL farts around, next her ass and move on.One more time, (the third time)? Some lines above you said to not look needy. No, I don't think she should get asked two times in a row after she has given more or less real excuses twice. One time is enough. -------------------------- Also, it strikes me how you recommend to never be logic. You know there're some femprofessors at the likes of MIT, Harvard, etc., that will get really offended if they read this blog, right? This is one of the funniest I have ever bumped into, the Larry Summer scandal.
Robert 2017-12-13 00:11:02
Be strong, but don’t use logic. What do you mean by not using logic? Could you give me some examples?
PK 2017-12-29 07:11:34
Robert says December 13, 2017 at 12:11 am Be strong, but don’t use logic. What do you mean by not using logic? Could you give me some examples?@Robert, he gives examples right after that statement above. A logical response would be, "yes, I was late because my boss kept me/a deadline was handed down, etc". Redirecting away from her complaint and back to seeing her ASAP would be, "What can I say? I live a full life :). How about we meet at that same place next Wednesday at 6:30 PM?".