Deleted From Facebook? Find Out Who

Getting Deleted From Facebook

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Deleted From Facebook? Find Out Who

We've all had the experience of clicking on your friends list and suddenly realizing that the number was lower than you remembered it.  Or the time you clicked on that one person's profile who you thought was a friend and saw that "Add Friend" button up there, meaning at some point you were "unfriended".

-By Caleb Jones

Do I care if people unfriend me?  Nope.  You shouldn't either.  However, keeping women as friends for LSNFTE management, at least in my opinion, Facebook's greatest function.  Frankly, it's one of the few reasons I even bother with Facebook these days; I find I'm on Facebook less and less.  However Facebook is instrumental in bringing those wayward LSNFTE gals back into the fold.  Therefore, because Facebook doesn't tell you when you were unfriended (stupid) or by whom (stupid), the ability to manage your "unfriends" is helpful in this regard.

Now before we get into the meat of this, let me be clear that if a woman unfriends (defriends?) you on Facebook, the reason is almost always this one: she's found a new guy and she needs all recent boyfriends/lovers off her page. I'm serious.

If a woman suddenly defriends you without warning and there's been no argument or trouble between her and you, this is the reason 90% to 95% of the time.  Therefore, it's not personal.  It's just more stupid societal programming.  Every time I've noticed a chick who is no longer my Facebook friend, sure enough when I see her profile pic she's got her NRE-filled face pressed up against some New Exciting Guy™.

Fortunately monogamy doesn't work, so in a few months (or a few years on the outside) she'll dump Mr. New Exciting Guy (who quickly became either Mr. Boring Guy or Mr. Asshole) and will be on the hunt once again.  That's when you're conveniently there for her, as long as you played it cool while she was gone.  (That's a big "IF"...most guys don't pay it cool when a chick dumps them, but that's another topic.)

True statistic from my life:  Damn near 100% (I think the actual number is 96% at the moment) of all women who have LSNFTE'ed me who did not move far away eventually came back to me in a sexual context.  That includes women who get married.

Sometimes it takes six weeks.  Sometimes it takes three or four years, but they always come back.  This is one of the great advantages of being an Alpha male...women will love you off-and-on forever.  The betas and AFCs they love temporarily.

Okay.  There is technically a way to find out who has unfriended you, but it requires Facebook's new timeline feature and it's a little convoluted and requires modifications to your profile.  The directions are here, but I don't vouch for them since I've never tried them.

Instead, this is how I do it.  It still requires several steps but it's cleaner method and requires no modifications to your profile.

1. Make sure you have a Gmail account.  They're free and likely you have one already.

2. Go to and let it authorize your Facebook account.

3. Click "Load Friends".

4. Copy and past the presented text into a text file and save it with a CSV extension.

Now you have a clean, spreadsheetable list of friends you can quickly compare to past lists you've exported.

Like I said above, don't get needy with this.  You only need to do this two or three times a year at the most.  Any more than that and you're falling into a oneitisy or needy mindset with your women (and you probably get to get your ass out there and meet some new ones).  I only do it about once every six months or so...I just quickly compare a past exported list with a new one, see who is missing, then determine their current relationship status.

Then per my normal program, if it's obvious they've got some New Exciting Guy™ and in the throes of NRE, I forget about them for at least two to four months and check again.  Rinse and repeat.  If it's clear they're single or on the ropes with Mr. Boring Guy or Mr. Asshole, I'll fire off a quick, non-needy text or Facebook message and feel things out...then proceed from there.  Resurrecting old LSNFTEs is much more efficient than sarging for new chicks, just like in business repeat customers are much better than cold marketing or sales.

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This article was originally published on February 26, 2012


  • Rod 2012-02-27 12:03:12

    What exactly do you say to a girl after she has unfriended you on FB? Do you send her a new friend request??

  • Blackdragon 2012-02-27 12:38:54

    Good question. No, I do not send her a new FR. I contact her in some other way outside of Facebook, preferably a text, worst case an email. I don't bring up or acknowledge that she defriended me, I just chat with her as if nothing has happened. Once we're "friends again" or fucking again, THEN I'll issue a new FR. Nothing says "needy" like a cold FR with no other communication to someone who's defriended you.

  • Soy 2012-02-27 19:53:03

    Is that part of a more general strategy? Not acknowledging certain actions? Or just a specific in this case?

  • Blackdragon 2012-02-27 23:04:24

    It's an overall strategy. Whenever a woman nexts you for any reason, when you're talking to her again for the first time you never bring up the next. That's complete lose-lose. You just talk as if nothing happened, as if you just hung out together yesterday even if you haven't seen her in a year.

  • Lovergirl 2012-02-28 10:11:15

    There is a Facebook app called Who Deleted Me and it works, only occasionally shows people who have removed their profile or something then they pop back up and are still your friend. Anyway it is easy and all you do is click on it and it will list the people who most recently unfriended you. Anyone on Facebook can use it I don't have it on my phone as an app just on Facebook itself. 😉

  • Blackdragon 2012-02-29 22:56:44

    Yeah there are several apps like that...I've gotten none of them to work reliably. I wonder if there is more than one app called "Who Deleted Me".

  • Ken 2012-03-01 17:14:32

    They can never be reliable because they all rely on scraping the FB UI, and that changes all of the time. The only way you could have a reliable one is if FB cooperated ... not likely.

  • CatLord 2016-12-04 08:59:21

    "Then per my normal program, if it’s obvious they’ve got some New Exciting Guy™ and in the throws of NRE, I forget about them for at least two to four months and check again." You mean throes, not throws. Cool article.

  • Blackdragon 2016-12-04 14:19:38

    Corrected! Thank you.

  • CM 2017-04-16 15:30:45

    On my android phone, I have an app called "who unfriended me". Tells me instantly when somebody has unfriended me on facebook.