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Don’t Read Online Dating Profiles
-By Caleb Jones
Some guys have a problem with that. Since not reading profiles is an extremely important aspect of proper online game, I'm going to tell you why this technique is critically important even if you might have trouble wrapping your brain around it.
First, let me walk through the logic:
- The way to get laid consistently with online dating is to email lots of women on a regular basis. Notice I said the word consistently. Yes, you can occasionally get lucky by emailing a small number of women, but I'm not talking about occasionally. I'm talking about consistently.
- Sending email to lots of women only after reading their profiles will take hours upon hours upon hours. This is a terrible idea. One of online dating's strengths over other types of game (club game, daygame, etc) is that it's very time management friendly. You can get a lot accomplished with online dating in a very short period of time...IF you do it right. Very few forms of game are as conducive to quickly getting from zero to sex with complete strangers as online game.
- Using all the other online dating techniques I've talked about on this blog, on the forums, and in my ebooks, you can email lots of women very fast, and get results very fast, but only if you don't read their profiles before emailing them.
- Therefore, consistently getting laid fast with online dating is essentially impossible if you insist on reading women's profiles.
Here are some other key points to help you with this concept.
1. "Not reading profiles" doesn't mean "not looking at them at all". What I do is glance at a gal's photos to see if she's hot, quickly glance at where she lives to ensure she doesn't live too far away (my rule: I will not drive more than 45 minutes from my home), and if she's on Plenty of Fish I will give one extra glance to make sure she's not there for "Intimate Encounter" which will screw up my account if I email her. I run my blitzes based on age, so I don't need to check that.
That's it. If those three things check out, boom, I hit the ol' CTRL-V, paste my opener in there, and then I'm on to the next woman. Time spent to check those three things and hit CTRL-V: approximately 8-10 seconds per profile. For those of you who have asked me "How can you email so many women so fast?", that's how. I don't read profiles.
2. Even if you're a good-looking guy with a fantastic profile, most women you email won't even respond to you. That means if you spend several minutes reading her profile, you're investing time into a complete phantom. You're wasting your time.
The flip side of this is that there's no big problem with you reading a gal's profile once she's responded to you. That's okay. I personally don't read a woman's profile until she has a date scheduled on the calendar, and often after that. With many women I hadn't read their profile until after I had sex with them.
3. Women are going to hate me telling you this, but it's true. If she's under the age of 33, the vast majority of stuff about "what a woman wants in a guy" on a woman's profile is complete bullshit. Yes, her "stats", i.e. things like her age and her job and where she lives, that stuff is probably true. But all the stuff about what she "wants" and the "type of guy she likes" and what she "doesn't want"...that stuff is all complete and total crap and has nothing to do with whether or not she'll actually have sex with you. I'm serous. None of it is accurate, and none of it is relevant. Some real-life examples:
- In my 30's and 40's I have had sex with many much-younger women who said very clearly in their profiles they didn't want any men over the age of 25 (or 23, or whatever) to email them.
- I have had many women in open relationships who clearly said in their profiles (and/or on first dates) that they would "never do that".
- I'm a white guy. I have had sex with women who clearly said in their profiles (or during their email communication) they only are interested in black guys, or Latin guys, or some other non-white type of dude.
- I'm a little chubby (much less so than a year ago, but still). I have had sex with women who clearly said in their profiles they would only consider guys who are "in shape" or "hit the gym a lot" or "have abs".
- I have sex with women on the second date, within four hours grand total from meet-to-lay. I have had sex with many women online who had all kinds of things on their profiles like "friends first" or "I have a five-date rule!" or "I'm not here to hook up" or "I'm a Christian and don't have sex until I really know someone" and all kinds of other ASD stuff.
It's all BS guys. All of it. Women say these things because that's what society trains them to say, not because any of it's true. Women are HORNY AS HELL and are DYING to have sex with a confident, outcome independent, non-creepy man...all their silly parameters be damned.
I could go on and on with real examples from my life that show this is true, but you get the point. In terms of what women want or don't want, if she's under the age of 33, you can safely assume that most or all of the stuff on her profile is complete, ASD, societal, BS. So save yourself the trouble and don't read it. Just send her an email.
Note: To reiterate, I'm talking about women under the age of 33. If she's over age 33 and still fit and hot, the ASD crap on her profile is very real. If you try to fuck her on the second or even the third date, you're going receive a bunch of chick logic and then be given a college-course lecture about how to "treat a lady". Then go home with blue balls. This problem is easily solved: Don't ever email women over age 33. I don't.
4. I'll respond to the objection some of you are thinking. "If you don't read her profile, what if you end up going out with a transvestite? Or a Jesus freak? Or some bi-polar wackjob? Or something like that?"
Let not your heart be troubled. I have been out on more first dates than the average 20 men will ever have in their lives put together. The exact number is well into the triple digits. I can count on less fingers on one hand the number of first dates I had where I ended up with a weirdo because I didn't read a profile. It's not a big deal. The vast, vast majority of women are there are completely "normal". Calm down and stop making excuses.
5. Getting all pumped up about some super hot chick who's sounds perfect even though you haven't even emailed her yet severely damages your confidence, frame, and outcome independence. You need these things, badly, if you want to be successful with women. It also raises your neediness and guy-Disney. Bad.
I can think of few things more AFC-like and frame-damaging than getting all excited about some chick's profile you haven't even been out on a date with yet.
You don't get to know a woman from her online profile. You get to know a woman from the first date you have with her. THAT'S where you evaluate her. Not online.
So take my advice. Stop reading women's profiles. It wastes your time, fills you with nonsense about what she supposedly "doesn't want", and damages your frame.
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Sam Vincente 2012-07-15 12:09:00
Reblogged this on samvincente.
M 2012-07-15 13:54:46
I have started online Game the past two months and have come to this conclusion on my own. I just banged a girl from online on 2nd date yesterday and have another girl I've been texting from OkC. I skim a girls profile to see if there's anything I can use to frame as a challenge or tease her on in the 1st msg. But a blog post on First Messages would be appreciated - still not 100% sure. I tend to snipe - good response rate, but again, I'm wasting time flipping thru pages of fatties ... Good advice regardless.
Kevin Velasco 2012-07-16 09:42:29
A person's profile is a projection of who they'd like to be. It's all an illusion.
Jon 2012-07-16 15:10:41
A little entertainment from an OK Cupid profile that showed up in quiver matches: "First thing people notice about me: my eyes" But she's wearing big sunglasses in the only picture she uploaded. Oops. 🙂 I think another problem with reading profiles is that if you take them seriously you can develop a really messed up attitude about women. I made that mistake after reentering the dating scene and came the conclusion that women were all jaded harpies, and I'd be better off without them. Now that I think about it...I was looking at women in my age group (mid 30s) so maybe my impression wasn't that far off after all...
Socialkenny 2012-07-20 15:20:32
Not sure if I agree with the logics here. I find that one has more success when they actually read the profiles. I really don't believe in the effectiveness of mass e-mailing.
wolfgang 2012-12-11 12:02:22
@socialkenny Have you dated and fucked countless women from online dating sites with your method...?
Bad Online Dating Profiles of Women Still Attract Tons of Men 2014-01-07 21:27:28
[…] some top seduction gurus advocate NOT reading profiles when sending the first message, but to only do so if she responds. Taking this approach is much […]
Buzz 2014-10-13 09:06:19
you have an interesting point. Some females put a word at the bottom of their profile that they want you to put at the top of your response! Have you had any luck with these profiles? Maybe you don't know since you don't read them?
Blackdragon 2014-10-13 10:42:08
Some females put a word at the bottom of their profile that they want you to put at the top of your response!Don't care. They will be one of the 92% (or so) who don't respond. I send out hundreds of openers per blitz, so I couldn't care less if one doesn't respond because she's picky about how a man communicates with her.
Sarah 2014-12-16 21:12:13
Comment deleted for violation of Rule Number One.
buzz 2014-12-17 21:48:32
I agree with all your major points, I just wanted to add that if you are one of the unfortunate people who just have zero game and are sort of a computer nerd it is still possible to do amazing feats with on line dating. In this realm time and effort is not so important we are focusing on using a computer to make up for a total lack of game. Pick a strange user name, something that will attract attention in the venue you have chosen. Use some strange and unusual pictures that attract females and are also something you like, and don't even put one of yourself up at all. If you are on a site that shows you when someone looks at you, lurk, just leave your computer on all the time, set it so that it makes a noise when someone looks at you. First question to the looker, Did you like my pictures? (about a 90 percent response rate) note that it does not mater if they liked your pictures, they talked to you, that is what you wanted... More focused conversation about the pictures... and then a gentle sexual qualifying question and then as time goes on switch the focus to sex talk. (reading her profile might give you some ideas on where to start) you exchange pictures. I have spent from weeks to months chatting but when we finally meet we have already discussed sexual likes and dislikes and our "rules" and it has already been decided why we are meeting in person. I have literally had them come to a hotel room, come in, get undressed and hop into bed, first real date, without talking to them much at all, Hi, you came.... Now I know we are not talking numbers here, just results where almost none were possible just by spending a little more time on it.
Shanghai Bobby 2015-11-16 18:44:41
Heya BD, I've got quite an interesting question for you re. this approach. Living in New Zealand, it seems like OKCupid and other sites are starting to become super ineffective compared to Tinder. In OKCupid, there is a pool of 450 - 550 with age group of 18 - 42 - I'm literally not shitting you. On Tinder, my match rates are super low for two reasons: I'm Asian (and I do have a good online profile), so does one of my good friends (who's one is even more kickass than mine), but when we pull up our mate's profile, which is average as fook, but he's tall, handsome and white, he kills us in getting matches/convos going If you can't match, you can't message It seems pretty abysmal, but that's what it's like gaming in a country of only 4.5mm people. I was thinking getting Tinder + for unlimited swipes as the only possible work around. What are your thoughts on this? Cheers, SB