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How To Answer The Plenty of Fish Questions
-By Caleb Jones
To my chagrin, when I set up a new profile at Plenty of Fish a few months ago to test some new profiles, I saw that they had jumped on the OKC bandwagon and made you answer a questionnaire of their own. Unlike with OKC, POF's questions were mandatory. You had to answer them as part of your new profile creation. Shit.
This is another example of how online dating sites are catering more and more to the desires of women over men. They're trying to make dating sites into romantic matchmaking sites, like online versions of watching The Bachelorette. I suppose since women are 51% of the population, and without women you don't have a dating site, and since men will gravitate to any dating site looking for sex regardless of how bad the site is, the dating sites feel the need to do this to keep and attract female customers.
The problem is a hell of a lot of women online are not looking for the Man of their Dreams™. Yes, a lot of them are, particularly those over-age-33 provider-hunters, but a lot aren't. Lots of women are on there to just hook up, even if their bloviations say otherwise. Remember, women can't go online and say "I'm looking for some sex, please." Society doesn't allow them to do that. Instead, women looking to get laid are forced to mumble something about dates and relationships instead, and then hope they don't get inundated with beta males who don't understand this and want to marry them immediately.
Other women online, many of them, are there to date. Truly to date and not much else. They don't want a husband or a serious boyfriend (at least right now), but they do want to date, have fun, get some masculine energy, have sex, and hang out.
Sadly, I predict this trend of leaning hard towards the romance-seeking provider-hunting segment of the female population is going to increase over time. (That's what eHarmony is for, not POF or OKC.) It's going to start complicating all of this. My hope is that at some point soon a new (third) big online dating site will come to the fore that takes a more neutral stance while still being woman-friendly. This hasn't happened yet but I remain hopeful.
Anyway! What I did when I saw this POF questionnaire was to do what I always do when I answer questions on an online dating site that will be used to help women "match" me: I answered the questions in a way that would be most compatible with a woman in my target market.
Before answering my questions, I picture the perfect woman I would like to be with. Then I get into her head and temporarily assume her personality. Then, slowly, I start answering each and every question the way she would answer them, not the way I would answer them. If I come across a question that was too gender-specific to do that (and applied only to men) then I would answer the question in a way her perfect man would answer the question. (Fortunately this is usually the way I would answer the question too...remember that women in your target market likely want you just as badly as you want them.)
I've always said that when opening women online you should cast the widest net possible. So recently to help you guys out, I went back into POF and re-answered the questions in a way to give the broadest appeal for women online in general. Then I took some screenshots. If you have no idea how to best answer these questions, simply copy what I've done below. That should at least get you started and will likely boost response.
Remember again that these answers are not how I would answer them, rather they are the best answers to create the most "matches" and cast the widest net for your online dating efforts.
Of course, your best option is to tweak these answers to better fit a woman in your target market (as described above) rather than copying them verbatim, but if you want to copy them, go for it.
Some of you may disagree slightly on some of the woman-answers above. That's fine, but I have no interest in getting into a nitpick discussion on the minutia. The above gives you an overall idea and that's the important thing. Notice I did not answer any question an extreme "Disagree" or "Agree". This is because, again, you want to cast the widest net possible and don't want to screen or alienate possible women for you, at least not at this stage when you haven't even met them yet.
As should be obvious to anyone who's read my stuff before, all my online dating advice revolves around the concept that YOU should be the one picking and choosing potential sexual or romantic partners by meeting them in real life and making a determination THEN. The stupid dating site should not be the one making important decisions like this for you.
Lastly, if you really are concerned you're going to get some "false" matches by doing this, I will make this caveat: If you are truly wife-hunting right now and need to get married (I'm not sure why you're reading my stuff if that's the case, but whatever), then go ahead and ignore everything I just said and answer the questions like you would really answer them. But if you're a guy looking for dating or sex, looking for women who want dating or sex, use the above answers or your target market variations. You'll be doing yourself and her a favor. Lastly, if you really are concerned you're going to get some "false" matches by doing this, I will make this caveat: If you are truly wife-hunting right now and need to get married (I'm not sure why you're reading my stuff if that's the case, but whatever), then go ahead and ignore everything I just said and answer the questions like you would really answer them. But if you're a guy looking for dating or sex, looking for women who want dating or sex, use the above answers or your target market variations. You'll be doing yourself and her a favor.
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Dennis 2012-08-09 11:42:22
Both firefox and Chrome cannot print your POF Q&A. I had to Copy each page to the clipboard, paste into Irfranview, Clip and print.
Blackdragon 2012-08-09 12:20:58
That's odd. I'll look into it. Must be a WordPress thing.
Jeb Bush Sr. 2012-08-09 17:06:32
Great work Blackdragon. You give great advice. Any thoughts on Adult Friendfinder? Is it worth paying money for?
Cat 2012-08-10 02:49:14
Do any guys bother to fill these things in anymore? Not being negative here years back (3 yrs) Match was pretty good, got loads of that site, tried POF twice, 9 months and a week, yeah I backslided due to a cute blonde, but what pile of cr$p that site is! Convince me otherwise BD and I'll give it another go. No provider frame used, maybe a bit cheeky or teasing if anything and the look more Jason Statham that Clooney 🙂 Emails go good then nothing...weird behavior... I found the women to be either there for the attention boost of because they are bored. Online used to quite good bit I think POF can bad for a guys esteem if you take it seriously. I get better results in the real world. POF is a skewed reality! Just felt it was waste of time...other than for a bit of batting practice , I mean time I could put to use constructively on projects elsewhere.
Blackdragon 2012-08-12 11:07:14
@ Jeb - In general I advise avoiding Adult Friendfinder. The man to woman ratio there is something like 20 to 1, and most of the real women on there would not be the type of women you'd want to have sex with (fat, ugly, etc). @ Cat - Are you complaining about online dating in general or POF in particular? Yes, many women are not on POF (or OKC or any other dating site) to actually get laid, but that doesn't mean it doesn't work. I've fucked TONS of CUTE women from POF.
EZ 2013-07-31 09:00:29
My comment on the POF questions is that when I have filled them out and completed the process the resulting profile I had signed up for was deleted immediately. My best success on POF came when I created a profile and paged past the questions by saying I would answer them later. Unfortunately the recent purge deleted my profile so I am back to square one. I will also observe that I thought POF was on the decline before the purge.
Ben 2014-09-08 21:49:03
You don't need to answer them, all you have to do is click a button up the top like search or profile and it takes you out of the questions part and doesn't take you back unless you click the button for them. I've never answered them.
Blackdragon 2014-09-10 18:12:55
You don’t need to answer them, all you have to do is click a button up the top like search or profile and it takes you out of the questions part and doesn’t take you back unless you click the button for them.I tried that a few years back and I remember it giving me an error. Maybe they've changed things since then.
Adam 2015-07-03 16:16:41
You straight fellas got it rough! Gay online "dating" is (thankfully) very streamlined and direct. Sites with names like Manhunt, Daddyhunt and Barebackrt. 'nuff said. Although many attractive, quality guys use OKCupid, I avoid it because I cannot deal with the BS.
Maria 2016-03-15 13:23:33
My man says that he can't get in his pof to take it down because he closed his email down. The one he used to open the pof account. Wouldn't the account close if the email closed? What can we do?
Maria 2016-03-15 13:25:37
Hi I want to ask if I have a pof account and the email closes how can I get in my account?
Blackdragon 2016-03-15 14:39:25
I don't have an answer. You'll have to contact POF. (I think you're screwed.)
lesley brown 2017-10-19 08:04:40
When it says that the person is on dose that mean that their on pof site or just online