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The Double Standard Regarding Age Difference In Relationships
I saw this on my Facebook feed the other day. An over-30 woman had it up there and she thought it was great. So did all the over-30 women commenting on it. I wonder what would have happened if I had put up the exact same thing except with the genders reversed. Do you think all those same over-30 women would have liked that? Do you think I'd get lots of positive, supportive comments these women.
-By Caleb Jones
I am now going to demonstrate why this is, using your own brain as a teaching tool. Ready?
Take a deep breath and clear your mind for a minute.
Mind clear? Okay.
You see a 40 year-old woman with a 20 year-old man as a couple. How do you feel about that?
Okay. Clear your mind again.
Mind clear? Okay.
Now you see a 40 year-old man with a 20 year-old woman as a couple. How do you feel about that?
See the difference you feel in your mind and body with those two circumstances? All I did was swap the gender of the couple and kept everything else the same. Pretty amazing isn't it? That's Societal Programming. It's very powerful. I have the very unique position of having been on both sides of that equation. In my early twenties, I used to date much older women. For example, when I was 22 I dated a woman in her mid forties. I dated a woman in her mid 30's shortly after that, and we were pretty serious. Shortly after that, I married a woman six years older than me.
Fast forward twenty years. I'm now 41. While I do date women my own age, I also date women as young as 18-23 all the time. So I'm uniquely qualified to talk about the double standard people have regarding gender bias in "May December" relationships. Clear your mind again and picture this... It's a large office party at someone's house. Many people, many couples, some married, some not. One of your female co-workers makes an entrance. She's 42. The guy on her arm is 20. How do people react?
Well, I used to be that guy, so I'll tell you exactly how they react. The men largely don't care...many barely even notice. The other women observing her friend are quietly ecstatic. Very quietly, the 41 year-old woman receives private accolades like "good job!" and "you go girl!". No one gives her any shit about it. It's almost 100% positive.
Now take the exact same situation except swap the genders of the couple. Now it's a 42 year-old guy walking in with a 20 year old gal. Keep everything else in the situation exactly the same. How do people react to this? I don't normally go to parties nor do I normally take women, younger or otherwise, when I do. However it has happened once or twice, and I have noticed other men do this, so let me tell you exactly what happens.
As you might imagine, some of the men, not most but some, react with wonder and excitement. One or two of the guys might give the guy a very quiet "alright!", but that's about it. The vast majority of the accolades go completely unspoken. Other men react with eye rolls.
Everyone else in the room, men and women alike, react with emotions ranging from anger to jealousy to disgust. People look at the man and say and think "what a pig", "how shallow!", "I've lost all respect for him now", and "well, it's clear what he's all about!", etc. People look at the young woman and say and think, "what a slut!", "god she's stupid", "bitch!", "doesn't she know she's being taken advantage of?" and "my god, where are her parents?"
Notice no one was asking about the younger man's parents or state of mind in the reverse circumstance. And that's my point. It's completely illogical, it's totally unfair, and it's typical of the bullshit society mashes into your brain. A lot of it is caused by older women being jealous of younger, nicer, less jaded women. Still more of it is caused by angry and/or repressed married beta males. Still more of it is caused by men with daughters who are mentally placing their own daughter into the situation. On and on it goes.
1. Very rarely have I gotten any shit directly from anyone about the younger women I date, beyond some dirty looks. Though again, I tend to not flaunt these women too much. Also, people these days tend to gossip behind your back more than they actually state things to your face, especially on the west coast where I live. Usually the negative reactions about me are told to other people, and I hear about them later.
2. There are some areas where this kind of thing is more accepted. Guys in Hollywood and Washington DC would probably not get as much negative backlash doing this than a guy in New Hampshire or Kansas.
Regardless, this is one of the most irrational views people hold. Especially considering that women mature faster than men. In many ways, a 40 year-old woman dating a 20 year-old guy is really dating a 17 year-old guy, while a 40 year-old man dating a 20 year-old woman is really dating a 23 year-old woman. Therefore technically society should be much more freaked out about younger men and older women than the reverse. But no, that 40 year-old woman is independent and take-charge, and that 40 year-old man is a pervert. That 20 year-old guy is a fun, lucky guy, and that 20 year-old woman is either an innocent victim being taken advantage of or a gold-digging slut.
Then I see women post something like the above graphic and get cheers from their friends.
Gives me a headache.
UPDATE TO POST 6/23/13: Lovergirl, bless her heart, was kind enough to demonstrate exactly what I'm talking about in the comments. In one comment, she managed to pull out just about every weapon in the irrational arsenal of woman logic when discussing this issue. This includes things like:
- Immediately bring up pedophiles. Which has nothing whatsoever to do with the topic.
- Immediately paint the worst possible scenario, that of a gross old fat bald guy who leaves his poor starving wife with a bunch of screaming children for a younger, hotter, dumber woman. Which has nothing whatsoever to do with the topic.
- Immediately say/imply any man dating a much younger woman is a "pig" suffering from a midlife crisis.
- Using the self-centered "logic" (used so often in politics) that says "Since I don't want to do it, you shouldn't be allowed to do it."
- Imply that shaming men and celebrating women is "equal" because of things that happened decades ago before most of us were even born. It never occurs to these women that "equal" would mean that men and women are equally shamed for doing this, or neither of them are shamed. But hey, logic is painful sometimes.
Thank you Lovergirl, for providing Exhibit A showing exactly what I'm talking about. Gentlemen, remember all of this next time you see two over-30 women high-fiving each other for dating a much younger man.
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YouSoWould 2013-06-23 06:43:02
This is just another way women attempt to control the social narrative to prolong their SMV long past its decline. An older man with a younger woman is the natural order of things. He brings his experience and power, she her youth and beauty. Older women instinctively know this, and know they don't have a chance unless they attempt to shame men into going out with women their own age. Once you see it for what it is, it's laughable, and can be ignored in much the same way as children can be.
lifeofalovergirl 2013-06-23 08:29:49
I think this applause for older women dating younger men is a relatively NEW phenomenon and is actually society's attempt to reverse the negative stereotype and double standard that was held in that regard for a very long time. For a very long time men have been able to date much younger women but for women to date down even a few years younger was highly frowned upon. So people and the media are overcompensating, trying to make words like "cougar" and "boy toy" popular while not so long ago most of us had never even heard these terms or at least thought it was really weird. I remember being in town during the time one of my high school reunions was happening but I had no intention of going because I was 7 months pregnant. Anyhow, I was staying at my grandmother's house and an old friend stopped by to say hi on her way to the reunion. She would have been at least 28 and the guy she was dating was 18. Do you think I let this slide by? Hell no!! LMAO. The fact that he was white and she is black was just like whatever because she often dates white guys but his AGE? I was totally laughing at her and like OMG, is he even gonna be able to get in (the get together they were headed to was at a bar), how old is this guy? You are totally robbing the cradle...eewwwww...etc. Sure, it was mostly good natured because she is a friend but I still was shaking my head, and other friends acted similarly to her though she took it well! Obviously she had guts to take this guy to the reunion with her. When I hear of guys dating much older women the usual reaction is first kind of YUCK and then I assume they are using her, often for money or needing to be taken care of, which makes a man appear extra needy. Otherwise, it is very difficult to understand why a man would want to date a much older women, especially when women are thought to be losing their looks and deteriorating as they get older. Society is trying really hard to get rid of the old maid image but look at how prevalent it still is online. You men are totally nasty towards women and the aging process. To be honest I think most people react LESS to men dating much younger women and are just rolling their eyes thinking he's a typical male/pig that is having a mid life crisis. Now, I am and do try to get past my automatic negative reaction and am not AS judgmental about it as I used to be but its still not something I am personally comfortable with. The guy I had sex with that was like 22 when I was 35 made me feel really weird and I haven't been able to do it again. I just had a guy the other day that was trying to hook up with me but he looked kinda young and when I asked how old he was he said 25. I just couldn't do it and when I told him it was because of his age he got upset, but I really don't have cougar tendencies. About 28-29 and up is okay as long as they are mature because it doesn't seem too much different than being in your 30's but any younger than that and it feels awkward to me. I need a dominant man too and seems like guys that young just can't pull it off. So I think all this celebrating of older women/young men is really just an attempt to make things EQUAL in that regard and maybe more shaming is going on of older men/younger women in the process, IDK. Also, I think a lot of women probably do feel like me and prefer around their age and older and have a hard time understanding why a man would want to date a teenager. Add the vast amounts of pedophiles in the world and the fact that we are always hearing about it and it gets a little scarier. Like, is it safe to have a guy who is interested in very young women, young enough to be his kid without worrying that he is a child molester? That kind of stuff is very real and there are always child porn rings and stuff getting busted and its normally men doing that stuff so it makes it all a bit creepier. Even with all that though, using your example, when I see a 40 yr old woman with a 20 yr old man I think "ewwww" and when I see a 40 yr old man with a 20 yr old female I barely bat an eyelash. It is still more common and everyone assumes it's because they find younger women more physically attractive. There is still the image of the balding old guy trying to relive his youth and dumping his long suffering wife for someone young that makes him seem like a dickhead but at this point I don't think it gets that much warranted attention.
Maldek 2013-06-23 10:22:15
"Gives me a headache." "Tranquillo amigo" - What you describe is true only in a very small area of the world; what happens to be where you live. The world is a really big place. If you travel a little you will notice that 40yo man and even 60yo man with a 20yo girlfriend is perfectly normal and accepted in most places. In areas like eastern europe or south america nobody would give even a glance to such a common sight. On the other hand a 50yo cougar with a 20yo boy would be noted in a not-so-positive way almost everywhere. It takes a lot of decay and decadence to hype something that is so clearly against human nature. We are talking about one big collective shit-test here. It takes a society of omegaized betas for such abominations to become the desired norm. Woman, now your place I say.
Blackdragon 2013-06-23 10:43:17
Lovergirl your comment was so helpful to the point I'm making that I updated the post with my response. So thank you.
Oxyjinn 2013-06-23 12:50:46
Lovergirl I read your whole thread only because I want to know how some women tick. But OMFG. You've got some real judgemental and presuming issues. We're all different. My morals are not yours and vice versa. Haven't you figuered that out yet? Want a recomendation on how to improve your thoughts/life? Stop watching TV news and equal. Everyone I know it's far from perfect but you/we are lucky to be living in a "democratic" society. So for fucks sake stop complaining (even in your head) about what you CAN do. Does it harm you or anyone? No. So STFU and mind your own business!
lifeofalovergirl 2013-06-23 12:59:58
Sigh...when I comment stating how a lot of people view things it doesnt mean I personally see things that way. Also, when I said that I have a hard time sleeping with younger men that didn't mean I was saying other people should feel the same way or that men should feel that way about women. Im simply explaining the thought process. A lot of you all seem to find that difficult to comprehend, so maybe I am not making that clear. Like i said, I dont bat an eyelash when i see an older man with a much younger woman. As for women who like much younger men, i dont understand the appeal at all. I might tease a friend about it or shake my head but other than that, hey its their life. Those are MY views. The rest is attempting to help you all see where people are coming from.
Greg 2013-06-24 05:33:45
I don't disagree with anything BD has said, but want to look at the flipside, which I'll split in 2 parts. One is the fact that the large majority of women online aged 18-30 on standard dating sites, who are at least a 7 (rather than overweight and less attractive ones), are heavily brainwashed by the very societal conditioning and brainwashing BD refers to, with respect to older guys messaging them, in that (unless any such guys are a 9, 9.5, or a 10 in looks and are naturally very photogenic), they see them as total creeps and see it as creepy that they're being messaged by such guys, who some may block after seeing their message. In some cases, such women will mention in their profile being repulsed by getting messaged by older guys and to only message them if you're in the age range they're looking for. I'm not saying all younger girls are like this, but online at least 90% are. If BD may disagree, then send us a link to your current dating site profiles you have, so we can see what you're presenting. Plus on POF, many girls have an age range filter of the age range of guys they only want to be messaged by. This blog recently discussed POF's new bullshit rule, that if you're messaging any girls on there and are over 15 years older than they are, you're now blocked. If this means older guys have to lie about their age, I don't have a problem with it as I regularly do, but you're definitely going to have to have your shit totally together, in terms of your life, career, following what's going on in popular culture, following the same music younger people of both genders are into – because you actually like it and aren't pretending to just be into it and with being as youthful as you can be in your photos, which means being fit, in shape and going to the gym at least 3 times a week. Unless an older guy aged 35 and older also plays a sport once or twice a week, working out 3 times a week isn't enough. If you're aged 40 or over, you should work out 4 or 5 times a week, if you have the time to do so in your schedule. Older guys wanting to regularly date and bang younger girls, are better off doing day and night game approaching in the real world, where they'll have much better success, as you have way more tools at your disposal.
Greg 2013-06-24 05:40:24
With respect to hotter older women aged 35 and older, who are into younger guys and who usually get classed as cougars, irrespective whether you're in their same age range, or if you're younger than they are, these women online are amongst the most challenging to run game on. This probably explains why the topic isn't discussed that much on the online game forum. These women are harder to meet in the real world, as most don't go out as much as younger women do and for those older women, who are at least an 8, they get attention and interest in both the real world and online, not just from guys in their same age range, but from younger guys as well, so they can take their pick and can get extremely fussy and picky. Most of these women are found on Cougar Life, that's pay based if you want to be able to send out messages, but sometimes they also have a profile, both on there and also a couple on other sites like Match and POF, making it even harder. These women know they're amongst an elite group of women, in that they actually have to make time to maintain their appearance and stay fit, by exercising regularly, since most women in their age, just don't have the time and motivation to do that, especially if they're divorced and have any kids still living with them. Again, for these women, you've got to have your shit totally together, with respect to your life and career and also with being as fit and as in shape as you can be, since a lot of dudes on sites like Cougar Life, have six packs.
YouSoWould 2013-06-24 06:15:37
Is this a serious comment? It's like you picked the most effeminate, emasculated, mangina beta white knight in the world, and then linked to his article. The best PUAs aren't misogynists. They love women, and know what women love. And that's why they do so well.
Sanssouci 2013-06-24 07:02:20
It might be irrational, but there isn't much to be done about it. To quote Baltasar Gracian "Superiority is always detested, à fortiori superiority over superiority. Caution can gloss over common advantages; for example, good looks may be cloaked by careless attire.. " Human nature will always be irrational, and people are always going to get butthurt about success. In this particular case guys will get jealous because they don't have a girl that young/attractive, and girls will get butthurt because they can't ever be that girl again. Sometimes it's worth taking the effort to do like Gracian suggests and try to take some of the luster off your success, but if you're just going to a party or something then who cares about dirty looks and people getting their undies in a bunch over nothing?
BA 2013-06-24 07:04:59
Chuckle. When my eldest, married daughter was pregnant with my first grandchild we ended up at Wal-mart for some reason or another. She was 7 or so months along and showing a big belly. And in her early 20s (my whole family starts early). Oh the dirty looks I got as we wandered about holding hands, laughing and talking. Some knowing smirks from men, but mostly scowls and icy daggers from women. And the uglier & more unattractive the woman, the more sour the face. I thought it was a hoot.
Blackdragon 2013-06-24 08:58:13
To all commenters: Ignore Fred, the guy who keeps changing his name and making rape comments and similar. He's here to stir up trouble, not make any points. Do not respond to him in any way from here on out, or I will have to delete your comments as well as his. Thank you.
YouSoWould 2013-06-24 09:05:13
Yes of course, please accept my apologies for losing my cool and profaning so much in your comment section. I know I shouldn't rise to trolls, just can't stand when people try to derail a legitimate discussion with irrelevant, sniping comments. Cheers pal
Sparks 2013-06-24 14:24:34
I've found from personal experience that the only people who have a problem that I date much younger women are beta males and women over 30, i.e. men who wish they could pull a hot twentysomething girl and women who wish they were still in their twenties. I'm currently dating a 22-year-old and a 19-year-old. The girls themselves have no problem with my age (36). Maybe I'm just lucky and keep meeting Type 2 VYW's 🙂
Sad Clown 2013-06-24 16:57:21
I'm 36 and have noticed that most female friends around my age keep trying to push me on their friends and other women that are either the same age OR older, while shaming me for pursuing co-eds. I think all women in their 30's are so afraid of their SMV decline, that they can't stand the thought of men the same age rejecting them for younger women. It's like an unspoken alliance between them to disrupt the natural older man/younger woman pairings.
cjw 2013-06-24 23:52:32
wow, you put love girl on blast. . .so embarrassing! Of course she had been trolling on your blog for a while pretty much proving your points (in a negative way) I wonder what keeps her coming back, does she think that she's trying to defend someone? most of us all know what BD is saying is true as we've seen it happen pretty much every day of our lives. . .its just that men don't really saying anything about it. But hey, at least I'll find joy in making other people jealous when I continue dating women in their early 20's when I"m in my mid 40's/early 50's. . .of course by that time, I plan to be wealthy, so I can have a double effect of not giving a fuck lol!
Jon 2013-06-25 08:09:56
Of course she had been trolling on your blog for a while pretty much proving your points (in a negative way)Simply expressing an opposing viewpoint and the rational behind it doesn't count as "trolling." I like LG's contributions because even if I disagree they help me refine my own thinking. Besides, I've done the same thing on other websites where my opinion runs counter to the author and most of their audience.
I’m 36 and have noticed that most female friends around my age keep trying to push me on their friends and other women that are either the same age OR olderIt's funny you said that. I'm 37 and just had conversation with two people who decided to try to set me up, and they arbitrarily set the minimum acceptable age for potential candidates at 33. When I suggested that 23 would be better they were like "Nooooo....that's too young."
lifeofalovergirl 2013-06-25 09:07:26
I really think men have wild imaginations when it comes to this subject, lol. It's like you all WANT to believe that older women are soo, soo, worried about younger girls but for the most part we honestly don't give a fuck. It's men that think it's this huge deal to bag a younger woman and if women talk about it they are more likely laughing about what a hot shot dude thinks he is, than really caring. In real life I don't encounter a whole lot of men dating women half their age. If I do and they aren't making comparisons or being nasty towards me I really don't see any reason to be upset. According to what I read online here you guys supposedly see women over 35 as "old" but I don't seem to encounter that problem in real life and I'm 36, nearly 37. I don't FEEL old at all and still get a lot of attention from men. This idea that women over 35 are all crying into their milk over men dating 20 somethings is whack. We mostly just avoid men who aren't into us or don't even notice. Men, on the other hand, seem to think dating someone really young is some sort of huge accomplishment and imagine that it makes them a super stud. THAT is the attitude that women tend to disagree with because we just don't see it. Usually we see immaturity and inexperience, not a "prize" in a very young person. Think about it, when women themselves are looking for a great man we want him to be experienced and mature so to us it just seems stupid to chase after youth. Granted there are some women who date really young but I still don't think it's the majority. The Professor that I was seeing was 8 years older than me and he seemed to think it was a big deal. It made the age difference seem larger than it actually was, maybe because he ACTED kinda old and also he was used to dating women older than himself. Anyhow, he liked to brag to people about my age sometimes when we were out together and maybe it made HIM feel important but I think the women he was talking to were unimpressed, lol, and I can see why. Like once he was telling that to these 40 something women at a swinger party and they are like "well, maybe she will show YOU a few things anyway." I'm sure they were rolling their eyes not stressing about it. Seriously.
Sad Clown 2013-06-25 10:40:59
^ Wait, LG. Basically you just said that men get it all wrong when they assume they know what women are thinking, and then you make claims about men based on what YOU think they're thinking. See anything wrong with that?
anotheronetakesthepill 2013-06-25 16:55:22
I am in my early 30's. Some days ago common friends were joking about hooking me up with some 35-40 spinsters. On that group of friends there are some girls who are 17 to 19. Speaking with one of the girls she said: "you clearly don't match with any of those older women. You look much younger and as if you had nothing in common with them. You'd look far better with a girl a lot younger. She would suit you and your personality more" While single girls over 30 just try to shame that I have the ability to interact and attract younger girls. You know how it goes: "you could be her father. They still use a pacifier. What can she provide you with?" Well, freshness, non-bitterness, youth, passion ... and less drama as I become more alpha.
lifeofalovergirl 2013-06-26 20:04:56
See how nasty you all are? "Spinsters"? Seriously? This is why women start having contempt for men when they go running after younger women, they can't seem to do it without insulting and being nasty to older ones. I really don't understand why. It's not like anyone has any control over how old they are. It's kind of similar to black men who date white women and then go talking about how awful black women are and insulting them. I'm white and I still find that offensive and am repulsed by guys with that attitude. Just like if I were 20 and heard a man calling older women "spinsters" I'd think he was an ass to avoid at all costs. The bitterness, in this case, seems to be perpetrated by men. For some reason they want to try and make it some sort of older vs younger contest. Why? You rarely hear women blathering on about older men vs younger ones, we just date who we are interested in and don't feel the need to talk shit on everyone else. @sadclown- I'm not making this shit up, I'm going by what I see written here and on other pua sites, by men, expressing their thoughts on the matter.
Blackdragon 2013-06-27 15:14:48
This is why women start having contempt for men when they go running after younger women, they can’t seem to do it without insulting and being nasty to older ones. I really don’t understand why.I don't insult older women. My problem is the way older women choose to behave.
The bitterness, in this case, seems to be perpetrated by men.The bitterness is a direct result of older women's behavior. If older women were as sexually relaxed as younger women, you would not see men be bitter.
It’s not like anyone has any control over how old they are.It's not the age. I think over-33 women are beautiful. Last year I had a fling with a woman who was over 50 and I loved every minute of it. It's not the age. It's the behavior.
lifeofalovergirl 2013-06-27 15:38:24
If you think older women are less sexually relaxed you are hanging around the wrong crowd, lol. Where the hell do you even find over 30 women who want to wait until after the first date? Maybe its because you like to wait until the second date to kiss and/ or fuck them. If a guy did that to me at this age I would think he didn't like me and move on. Ain't nobody got time for that! LOL All the women my age and older that I meet now (that I'm no longer in church) are ten times more sexually open than women in their 20s who are still looking for someone to marry. Granted most of the women I meet now are at swinger parties or like in my pole dancing class but yeah, compare the attitude of the older ones vs the younger ones and the younger ones are still full of Disney. Mostly the older ones aren't really concerned any longer about being perceived as a slut either. I think your attitude is what is limiting you, not the women. Hell, I meet guys online all the time and fuck them right away. I even met this Pilot guy recently and we VIDEOTAPED the sex on the first date...and I took a picture of it and posted it on my blog, LMAO. Meanwhile you keep telling me women my age are uptight....
Blackdragon 2013-06-27 16:38:07
As I keep repeating over and over again, yes, over-33 women are much more sexual than younger women once a man is a "regular". The challenge is getting these women to have sex on the first, second, or even third date without getting some ASD lecture about "how to treat a lady". And we're talking about women over age-33 as a group, not you.
Prof Rob 2013-06-28 01:12:32
@ lovelessgirl: The game has changed. You need to learn to fly without perching, hunters have learnt to shoot without missing. All because some women grew the idea that they were 'oppressed' and demanded all sorts of freedoms from men who are oppressed themselves. So while the spinster used to enjoy respect and dignity in the protected zones which beta males created for their women, today she faces the simple reality: cruel extintion. We may be a tech advanced civilisation, but our primal nature will never be allowed with marches, protests and laws. When men's survival is threatened, they respond with testosterone, and will no longer sacrifice themselves like they used to for women who appreciate them less and less. The word spinster is the direct opposite of bachelor, ever wondered why men embrace these 'ridiculing' terms like 'bastard', 'asshole', etc and move on, while women are stuck in terminology, like 'slut', 'bitch' etc? Emotions. The less you let them rule you, the better. It is what it is. Learn to fly without perching.
lifeofalovergirl 2013-06-28 12:17:07
@ Prof Rob- "spinster" is a deliberately offensive term, and also refers to someone who has never married or had children. If you are trying to apply it to me you've got the wrong person, lol. 😉 Also, you need to lay off the crack pipe. This fly without perching crap is making no sense. If you are telling me to stop waiting before sex, you are again preaching to the wrong individual. I have no real concerns about being neglected as I get older. I plan to take care of myself and I am sure I have a long sex life ahead of me.
Prof Rob 2013-06-29 09:13:41
@lovelessgirl: What is 'offensive' about a woman who has never been married or had kids? I suppose a man must be blamed for her choices? Or perhaps you are offended by 'labelling'? Get off the high horse and look at the examples of 'offensive' terms used for men is similar situations... Oh sorry, men dont count in your world view. You are the brilliant woman in Rich Zubaty's characterisations of your gender's empowerment. Flying without perching only means the world is no longer inhabited by ladies and gentlemen, we are back to our traditional survival of the fittest dance. So the safety nets previously provided by men for women are getting in short supply and smart realise what a shit bargain they've been getting. Blackdragon has been passing the red pills about marriage and monogamy, and now we see spinsters and other pathetic creatures for what they are. Love you lots. Prof.
lifeofalovergirl 2013-06-29 09:29:59
@Prof Rob....look it up...the dictionary even says it's offensive. Nice try though. BTW, I'm the last person that needs to take a red pill regarding monogamy. Definition of spinster (n) Bing Dictionary spin·ster [ spínstər ] 1.offensive term: an offensive term for a woman who has remained unmarried beyond the usual age 2.spinner of yarn: a woman whose livelihood is spinning yarn 3.unmarried woman in legal documents: in some legal documents, a woman who has never married
Prof Rob 2013-06-29 14:56:52
@ girl: Are you so myopic that you willfully ignore the rest of the arguments I made about offensive terms referring to men? Or I should suppose men don't get offended in your girly world, huh? Ever heard of something called balance and fairness? Maybe not, but your arguments are starting to sound like those of a nagging spinster. Address the full picture or go away. You are spoiling it for your gender.
Shadix 2014-12-14 17:11:58
This post is the definition of truth. I am definitely going to post links to this article whenever I get into debates about this subject with feminazis and their allies.
SB 2015-04-28 10:22:24
I'm a woman, and I find both scenarios to be a bit revolting. At 26 the idea of being with a 19 yr old kinda makes me squeam, so the idea of being 40 and with a 20 yr old? Kind gross, he's a kid what could you get from such immaturity? And it's the same with gender roles reversed. I have seen this image on Facebook, but honestly most women want someone close to their age, not a young kid.
Blackdragon 2015-04-28 11:39:03
I have seen this image on Facebook, but honestly most women want someone close to their age, not a young kid.My point in the article was that if a woman dates a younger man, people think it's fine, but if a man dates a younger women, people think he's a pig. If you think both scenarios are revolting, that's great but you're in the minority.
TR 2015-05-07 16:04:18
Funny. I live in Europe (central to eastern) and it´s the other way around. A man dating a girl 20 years younger might be considered a pig but a lucky (or able) one. A woman dating a visibly younger man is a rarity, a weird one. But that´s all right. The guy´s the interesting part. A man dating an older woman exclusively is seen as either a golddigger, a weird almost pervert(=likes funny things), or dating easy bedding.
JB 2016-07-14 05:32:40
I'm 24 and I would never date an older guy. I think it's a bit disgusting either way. Also I don't think it's natural either like some people think so. Because honestly people dating outside their age range is very very rare. Like out of at least 400 friends on Facebook maybe like 2 have 10+ age differences. I mean love can happen anywhere with anyone but I don't think it's natural. I only think it was more common in some societies and in past times because it's a survival thing but not a free choice thing. When it's free chicks we choose people our own age. And it's just so nice being with someone your own age. You can talk about the music and films and stuff that happened in the world when you were the same age. And like you have the grasp of the same culture. Like I was with my friend and her boyfriend the other day and we're all from the same year, and we were all talking in acronyms and laughing at the fact that we just had an entire convo with acronyms. I don't know. Fun stuff like that you just wouldn't enjoy with someone older. There is one friend I have who has an older partner but it's so damn awkward. Like he legit reminds me of my parents. And he's always complaining the airport did this, the traffic was that... I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes. Anyway that's just my two cents. I think you're just gonna have the best relationship with someone who's closest to your age becaus there's that sense of familiarity. Like even know I have friends who are 17 and stuff and I tell the difference between their generation and mine. They are such fierce feminists, and way more into race, gender issues then I was at that age. Like every generation changes.
Blackdragon 2016-07-14 10:09:49
I’m 24 and I would never date an older guy. I think it’s a bit disgusting either way.That's because you're a Type 1. I bet you have younger parents.
Because honestly people dating outside their age range is very very rare.No it's not.
I don’t think it’s natural.Neither is anal sex. Are you against people doing that?
There is one friend I have who has an older partner but it’s so damn awkward. Like he legit reminds me of my parents. And he’s always complaining the airport did this, the traffic was that… I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes.That's not because he was older. That's because he was a dork. I'm "older" and I literally never complain about those kinds of things.
When it’s free chicks we choose people our own age.Incorrect. Most of you do, but not all of you. I have dated women much younger than me for almost a decade, without paying anyone. There are some women who prefer older men.
Pam 2016-12-07 06:49:41
I actually have had the opposite response. I'm 36 now and in a relationship with someone 17 years my senior. He isn't rich - I hate the gold digger stereotype - but he is amazing, which is what matters. I have found older men attractive since my 20s. Why? They're great! They 1) have jobs (like an adult) and 2) don't spend all day playing video games. How many "men" now in their 20s or even 30s stay at home in the bedroom they grew up in playing Halo all day? My boyfriend's son is 22 (14 years younger than I am) and there's no. way. in. hell. I'd ever date anyone his age. He lives at (his mom's) home and plays video games all day! I appreciate the emotional maturity of an older man, and I'd never date someone my age or younger ever again. If a guy wants to date a 19 year old go for it, I taught High School so LOL, I hope you like drama, but whatever makes you happy.
Blackdragon 2016-12-07 11:21:47
I have found older men attractive since my 20sand
If a guy wants to date a 19 year old go for it, I taught High School so LOL, I hope you like drama, but whatever makes you happy.So you can do it, but men shouldn't. Got it. (Go back up and look at the title of this blog post.) But I agree with you that if a man gets into a serious relationship with a 19 year-old, he's in for all kinds of drama hell, and I've said that many times. But a 19 year-old FB? No problem.
Jeff 2017-01-31 22:19:52
I'm a victim of this same situation. The age difference is 30 years, however I don't age like most men or think the same. Most of my life I've gotten along with people younger than me by around 10 years. Don't really know why but the situation that gets me is that I'm white 58 , she's black(very) which I find extreme. While the difference is extreme, I would have in my younger years though appalling. My attitude has changed through the years, in that compatibility is major. I've been demonized and literally tortured for the last 2.5 years over this by most of her friends to the point of having death threats and bodily harm threats. We both agreed that as adults, we make our own decisions. I've been pushed to the point of thinking about suicide, thank god that my better instincts said no. It's just gotten worse, in that her children, which I adore and highly respect for their superior ability to get along, are confused. I'm the only adult male that is willing to show them how to do things properly while the black males are upstairs partying and getting high with her, refuse to do. I think the kids, in a way, think of me as their dad. Gotta stop, miss them.
Beth 2017-12-29 06:51:18
I'm a female, and I have no judgement about age differences of any age nor in any direction -- male or female. Age differences to me aren't about looks/income or anything else I typically hear about. But, I find guys in a 5-10 year range of me the most likely to connect with me. Meaning: I've been with my husband for 20 years, and he's less than a year younger than me. We share childhood memories -- generationally, not because we knew each other then. (Met at 19.) There's a shared experience of living in the 80s in America. I've also had a longer-term relationship with a man the same age, but a different culture (European). I'd reference a TV show or some other pop culture from my childhood, and he didn't understand the reference. Even simple things, like Wizard of Oz. It wasn't a problem for our sexual friendship, but I am grateful to have the added layer of cultural-connection with my husband. I see age as a "cultural difference." Not a problem for FB or other sexual relationships. Age differences (as with cultural ones) can add to the novelty and excitement of things. But there are definitely communication differences, jokes and references that won't make sense, and other possible nuisances. I'm 39, and do notice that my older (age 50) lover didn't have the cock-rigidity or sexual turnaround time I see with my husband or younger partners. But honestly, those things are less important to women in a sexual circumstance than a man might think. There are ways to work around it. I'm not looking for a father-figure nor am I a gold-digger, so I'm not just automatically attracted to an older guy. But I'm not turned off by it, either. I'm a sexual-tourist, and I like to see new places. 😉 So older men, younger men, other cultures, whatever. I'm game for novelty. When I come "home," though, (to my very long-term and open marriage) I like the nearness of age and culture.
M Nero 2019-01-22 02:26:20
The thing is, the advent of the Internet, which makes research easy for people of any age, is gradually diminishing the type of cultural differences that Beth mentioned up above. Anyone can go on YouTube, for instance, and access music, TV shows, and movies from any era. Cultural references indigenous to other eras can be learned and picked up in the same manner. It's not unusual nowadays to see Millennials routinely listening to and becoming fans of music from the '70s, and older people finding easy access to and appreciation for music introduced during the last two decades. Also, some middle-aged men who prefer younger women like myself (and vice-versa, I would imagine) do not necessarily age on the inside. Our appreciation for the personalities and quirks common to many younger women remains intact, and thus we remain familiar with changing trends such as speaking entirely in acronyms or referencing Millennial TV shows and music that are popular with younger people. The Age of Information brought us by the Internet has changed the game in many ways, and allowed an unprecedented degree of communication between people of different age groups. Age on a mental and cultural level is becoming increasingly a mere state of mind that is relative to the individual. Hopefully, one day medical science will allow the aging process to be reversed in a physical fashion so the outer shell can always match the inner self.