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Flowers For Algernon – Man’s Relationship Version
-By Caleb Jones
It happened again today. I tried to have sex with Janie but she screamed at me and started complaining about how I "left a mess" in the kitchen yesterday. My "mess" was four slivers of shredded cheese, but that didn't matter. I tried to ask her what a "mess in the kitchen" had to do with us having sex, but she just said, "Charlie? If you're that dumb, I can't explain it to you." Then she turned on the TV and started ignoring me.
I mean, I love Janie. I really do. We've been living together for almost four years now and that means a lot to me. But I don't think she understands that I'm a dude. I need sex. If she's in a bad mood or on her period or had a bad day at work, I still need sex. She keeps taking all kinds of other things in her life and throwing them at me as an excuse to not have sex.
It's really pissing me off. She never acted like this when we were first dating. I'm a good man to her. This isn't fair.
Feb 14th, 2009
WTF??? I'm so fucking mad right now I can barely type this god damn fucking journal. I asked Janie, I mean I asked her over a month ago, what restaurant she wanted to go to for Valentines Day.
She said what she always says, "I don't care, Charlie. You pick." Yeah, well, ha, I know what that means. That means I'll suggest a place and she'll say "Ew! No!" Then I'll suggest another place and she'll say, "Oh my god Charlie, why would I want to go there?" I'll keep suggesting places and she'll keep shooting them down. That's what "I don't care, pick whatever you want" means.
So this year I was a little smarter. I pre-ordered the six dozen roses for Valentines Day, and reserved the limo for 3 hours. I also bought her a really nice diamond necklace that I'm going to give to her on the big day. Grand total I've only spent $1200 so far, which is pretty good considering last year I spent $200 more than that. (Not including dinner and stuff of course.)
So THIS time, when she gave me the usual "I don't care where we go" stuff, I manned-up and FORCED her to give me an answer. She resisted but finally she said she wanted to go to "any fondue" place. I asked her which one, but then she started screaming at me again so I backed off.
So cool, I made a reservation for Shattuck's Fondue, one of the best fondue restaurants in the city. Our dinner there will cost probably around $240 for both of us, considering we're going to get drinks too. $240 + the $1200 I've already spent is $1440. Not bad for a romantic Valentines Day for her. Despite our problems she's worth it.
Well, the evening started out fine. We took the limo down to the restaurant, but as soon as we walked in I could see there was trouble on the horizon. She started complaining that the place "smelled funny". I just joked and told her it would be fine.
It wasn't fine. When they served the first course she hated it and started complaining about it non-stop. All night she complained. "This food wasn't what I thought it would be," she kept saying. I asked if she wanted to go somewhere else, since I would be happy to take her, and she said no. She just kept complaining, getting worse as the night wore on. Even the necklace didn't calm her down.
For the rest of the evening she was in a bad mood. Later she started screaming at me about my work schedule. We didn't even have sex when we got home.
This is bullshit.
March 29th, 2009
I walked into the living room today, catching Janie complaining about me on the phone to one of her girlfriends. She was talking about how boring I was. I felt like shit the rest of the day. I love Janie. I would never, ever leave her. She's my shining star, she's the best thing in my life. She's beautiful and smart. But she can be such a bitch!
I did some Google searches online about "exciting couples activities" and "romantic first dates". I'm going to do my best to re-ignite our fire.
April 22nd, 2009
Well, today was the day I finally moved my last piece of furniture out of the house. Last week the lease on the house was up, and Janie broke up with me. I'm now in this little studio apartment. Alone. Most of my stuff is still in boxes. I don't even want to unpack. Fuck it.
Janie's already dating some new guy. Some fucking douchebag. She's got pictures all over her fucking Facebook about it. I don't even fucking care. Fuck that bitch.
I feel like shit. I've never felt this bad in my entire life. I'm thinking about killing myself. I still have my dad's old .38 from when he was on the force...I wonder how much killing yourself with a gun would actually hurt.
Sometimes I text Janie but she doesn't even respond any more. Hopefully her and this new douche fucker won't work out and we'll get back together. I'll text her again tomorrow. She's got to give me another chance.
Fuck my life. I don't feel like doing anything. Just sitting here. I've never been in this much pain.
September 14th, 2009
I went out on my first date today. Damn! She was really hot! I think my odds are good. We'll see. I'm reading a lot of dating and PUA blogs and downloaded a few ebooks. Gonna give this stuff a try. If these guys can do this stuff, hell, I should be able too also.
October 20th, 2009
Two women in one month. Me. That's right. Me. Ashley is 20 years old and hot as hell, Jennifer is 28 and fit and gorgeous. I'm dating both at the same time! WTF??? How awesome is this?
I didn't even think anything like this was possible. I mean...this stuff is so EASY. I admit when I first started trying this alpha male stuff, it felt a little weird. Like not texting girls all the time and not spending money on them...it just didn't feel right to me. But hey, so far so good! And I've got two other first dates scheduled on top of that!!! Boo-ya!!!
March 3rd, 2010
Clearly I haven't been writing in my journal lately. Been kinda busy. I've got four women in my life now, two MLTRs and two FBs. Not a single drop of drama from any of them. Also, my income has gone up 27% since last summer. Dropped 11 pounds too.
I am, by far, the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. I can't believe I was even living the way I used to live back when I was with Janie. It's almost like that man was a completely different person. That guy seems almost...alien.
I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and women still love me. That's women, plural. Jennifer finally told me she loves me and Brittany told me that like three months ago. I'm considering upgrading Jennifer to OLTR, but I'm in no rush. We'll see.
July 14th, 2010
Life is good. My career is humming right along and I still have four women on rotation, though two of the women are different than when I last posted in this journal. Bringing new women into the fold has become pretty easy. I really care for Jennifer a lot and consider her my number one. I've gotten so good at this stuff I've decided to start my own blog and talk about this stuff more. I'm sure I can help other guys do this. And maybe make a little money on the side too. We'll see.
Every guy has GOT to do this. I can't even understand why anyone would want to be a monogamous beta male. Seriously.
March 5th, 2011
Life is good as usual. But you know, I've been thinking. I mean...is this all there is? Fucking all these women and just being independent all the time? What about commitment? What about having kids? I mean, you can't go around having sex with women when you're trying to raise kids. Everyone knows that's impossible. Isn't there more to life than this alpha male stuff?
I want some deep meaning and connection. I'm not sure if I'm making sense here. Oh well. So far so good anyway.
April 2nd, 2011
Holy shit. I've stared dating this new girl...Tiffany. Dude. She's fucking perfect. She's super hot, super cool, very smart, has a college degree and everything. Her parents are still married and she had a really good childhood.
I just can't get her out of my mind. It's like the universe created the perfect woman just for me, just to my specifications. I've fallen hard for her, and I don't fucking care. Tiff is not like any other women I've ever had sex with, and I've had sex with 46 women so I know what I'm talking about. She's a cut above the rest.
June 1st, 2011
Tiff and I finally had our big talk. We're going to stop seeing other people. She was already not seeing other guys, because she's not a slut like all those other girls I've been messing around with. So hey, I've got to be cool about this and be fair about this. She deserves it.
So I nexted Jennifer and Brittany. Jennifer cried and called me an asshole. Man. Totally fucking irrational. Women, right? It's too bad she doesn't understand a real man. Ashley nexted herself by getting a boyfriend who's three years younger than her. What a dumb bitch.
I've been thinking about all of this. I'm a man. A real man grows up. A real man takes responsibility. A real man takes care of a woman. Tiff and I are going to have a great life together. Will it be easy? Hell no! But I know exactly what I'm doing, and Tiff is an unusual woman. We're going to make this work.
January 10th, 2012
Our wedding was awesome. Went off without a hitch. I was glad, since shit, I paid for the entire thing. Tiff couldn't afford it and her parents are pretty strapped so I kicked in for most of the cost of the wedding and reception. It was all designed exactly the way Tiff wanted. She had been fantasizing about this big fairytale wedding her entire life and I really wanted to give her that gift. She deserves it.
Next, we're off to Cabo for a week for the honeymoon baby! Boo-ya!
May 29th, 2012
I am the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. I never knew a man could be this happy. Tiff is perfect in every way, and we just found out she's pregnant! I'm going to be daddy!!! Fuck yeah!
All those PUA and manosphere blogs....what bullshit. Those guys don't know what the hell they're talking about. They're just a bunch of woman-hating children. They've never met a woman like Tiff. I feel so sorry for those lame douchebags. They don't understand that a real man can experience a deep connection with a woman. I stopped reading that crap almost a year ago. Didn't want to further poison my mind. I feel so much better now.
Man, I can't believe I actually paid attention to those guys. Well, live and learn.
June 14th, 2013
Tiff screamed at me again today about how I didn't fold the baby's diaper correctly. Jesus. She needs to relax. I told her she'd better lower her voice and stop acting like a child or there'd be hell to pay. She screamed back at me and we had an argument, just like last week. She needs to understand I'm the man around here and I don't tolerate that shit. She'll fucking learn.
July 21st, 2013
I tried to have sex with Tiff this evening and she gave me some bullcrap about her knee hurting or something. Bullshit. We had it out, and after about an hour of fighting she's now giving me the silent treatment. She's downstairs watching CSI as I type this. This is FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 12th, 2013
It happened again today. I tried to have sex with Tiff but she screamed at me and started complaining about how I "left a mess" in the kitchen yesterday. My "mess" was four slivers of shredded cheese, but that didn't matter. I tried to ask her what a "mess in the kitchen" had to do with us having sex, but she just said, "Charlie? If you're you're that dumb, I can't explain it to you." Then she turned on the TV and started ignoring me...
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AnotherDragon 2014-01-30 05:35:41
LOL! But seriouslym this: "She said what she always says, “I don’t care, Charlie. You pick.” Yeah, well, ha, I know what that means. That means I’ll suggest a place and she’ll say “Ew! No!” Then I’ll suggest another place and she’ll say, “Oh my god Charlie, why would I want to go there?” I’ll keep suggesting places and she’ll keep shooting them down. That’s what “I don’t care, pick whatever you want” means." Wtf is the solution to this...? 😛
maldek 2014-01-30 05:43:42
Reading this H U R T S! What about the female readers and their desire for a Disney-happy ending? Let us alter the story a little bit and see what happens... May 29 2012 "Well, live and learn. ..We moved to distant country "x" recently. Life is great here. My income now mostly earned online and from return on my investment. Of course all of my investments, our house and our car belong to a trust/offshore company and are not in any way connected legaly with me. June 14th 2013 "She’ll fucking learn. Because I love her I decided to give her ample time to reconsider her drama. Took my laptop and went for a tour with 2 of my buddies to nice place "Y". We had a lot of fun there with the local girls. I had sex with 2 local hotties and made sure to send pics of us home so my wife knew i was well and had a good time. June 29th 2013 When I came back from my vacation my wife first screamed at me how rude I am leaving her and the baby at home and then have fun with other women. How dare I. That was when we had the talk, where I did explain her she is free to leave me anytime she wants, but without any money and no chance to legaly enforce anything. Half of nothing is nothing. On the other hand she can show me some respect and be a good housewife and mother and enjoy a nice life. She started to crie and throw a plate at me. Thats when I did grab her, threw her over my shoulder and at the couch. We had some rough sex where i locked her arms to the ground all the time. It was the best sex we have had for weeks. July 21st, 2013 Since last june my wife wants so much sex all the time, it is hard to keep up. She seems to like beeing blindfolded and thrown around in bed to experience the superior strength of a male body. Boy does she get loud when I slap her or pull her hair. If it was not so damn hot I would consider closing the windows but as it is I guess our neighbors will have to live with this kind of frequent noise. Glad we are not in a 1st world country where schmucks call the police and cry domestic violence all the time. Here nobody really cares. Dec 12th 2013 We will have another baby in a few months. Nevertheless my wife has not failed to cook, nor missed a single pilates workout. The house is perfect and the sex has never been better. I never felt better in my life. The end. Isn't that what all worthy females want?
Wes 2014-01-30 10:38:27
That was hilarious.
Blackdragon 2014-01-30 12:12:24
Maldek - Your scenario is only for high-drama men and women. Wes - Yes, it is. And sad at the same time. AnotherDragon - The answer is to do this: 1. Tell a woman, "Tell me what kinds of food you DON'T like and are NOT in the mood for right now." 2. When she gives you a list, ask, "What else?" Squeeze a few more out of her. 3. When she says that's all, TELL HER where the two of you are going, and just make sure it's not on her list. 4. 95% chance she'll agree; problem solved. If for some bizarre reason she starts to complain, interrupt her, and nicely but strongly repeat to her that's where the two of you are going, or you guys can skip it and she can go hang out with someone else. (This is an unlikely scenario but it does happen.)
Bellum 2014-01-31 02:47:27
Well, clearly the protagonist shouldn't have left remnants of cheese all over the kitchen. Seriously though, if a woman yells at you there is only one solution: you leave her. A woman yelling at a man is the equivalent of a man hitting a woman. Not even once... I find it hard to believe Tiff never yelled before in the course of the relationship, and out of the blue started yelling once the protagonist committed to her.
Rick 2014-01-31 05:23:20
This post is basically spot on, with the possible exception of some minor details that could be added. It's a story Blackdragon knows will repeat itself and repeat itself. The post does not, however, explain 'why' the 'I' (narrator) does what he does, and I think that's important to understand. So I'll try to do that here, and I'd encourage others to chime in as well. The narrator is just like any other human being in that he's constantly "hungry" for something; there's a "desire" for more; there's "boredom" that he experiences. All of these "wantings" make it impossible to be satisfied: "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" And so he's constantly trying to please himself, which leads him to viciously do the same thing over and over. I don't think the Alpha Male 2.0 is immune to this condition, either. I believe Blackdragon himself began an "experiment" recently where he began dating women over 33. You see, even the Alpha can't stop the "wantings" and the "hunger" for more. It's impossible. I don't know the reasons for the "test," but it doesn't really matter. It's to satisfy a "hunger" for more. If the "desire" didn't keep creeping in, there would be no need to experiment. The current system in place would suffice, and it could be utilized for eternity. But that's not the way we're wired. And it's so in the case of the narrator of the above account, that dating multiple women won't satisfy his "desires" for as long as he's alive. He needs to keep "experimenting," to find "what else is out there."
skinny d 2014-01-31 09:37:54
There is a popular song called Makin' Whoopee that I'm sure you've heard, that at first seems to be a fairy tale love song. Here's the first chorus: Another bride, another june Another sunny honeymoon Another season, another reason For Makin' Whoopee. A lot of shoes, a lot of rice The groom is nervous, he answers twice It's really killin', that he's so willin' To Make Whoopee! Picture a little love-nest, Down where the roses cling, Picture the same sweet lovenest, Think what a year can bring. He's washing dishes, and baby clothes He's so ambitious, he even sews But don't forget, folks That's what you get, folks, For Makin' Whoopee! The interesting thing is that many (most?) of the recordings leave out the second chorus of the song, which is the whole kicker of the tune, that highlights the cyclical quality of love/relationships. Pay attention, these lyrics were written in 1928!!! Another year, or maybe less What's this I hear? Well, can't you guess? She feels neglected, and he's suspected Of Makin' Whoopee! She sits alone, 'most every night He doesn't 'phone her, he doesn't write He says he's "busy" But she says "is he?" He's Makin' Whoopee! He doesn't make much money, Only five-thousand per Some judge, who thinks he's funny, Says "You pay six to her" He says: "Now judge, suppose I fail?" The judge says: "Budge, right into jail! You'd better keep her, I think it's cheaper Than Makin' Double-U H Double-O P Double-E - Whoopee!!"
Diego 2014-01-31 11:38:00
Bravo BD. Thanks for the good laugh and reminder.
Blackdragon 2014-01-31 13:59:35
I find it hard to believe Tiff never yelled before in the course of the relationship, and out of the blue started yelling once the protagonist committed to her.Often you're correct. Men will talk about how their fiance is "perfect" and then the next thing you see is her bitching at him. However I accounted for that in the story by using the dates. Notice an entire year has gone by between when the narrator said Tiff was perfect and when he started complaining about her bitching. This does happen. It's a natural part of betaization.
The narrator is just like any other human being in that he’s constantly “hungry” for something; there’s a “desire” for more; there’s “boredom” that he experiencesGenerally true. I agree. Part of it is human nature.
I don’t think the Alpha Male 2.0 is immune to this condition, either. I believe Blackdragon himself began an “experiment” recently where he began dating women over 33. You see, even the Alpha can’t stop the “wantings” and the “hunger” for more.Ah, but you're forgetting one key thing. When I pursue my "wanting more", I don't make massive compromises into huge areas of my life. I don't surrender my freedom or my happiness, nor do I allow any person in my life to intrude upon these things. I also don't defensively justify these changes or attack others just because I've chosen to change my life around (because, again, I haven't changed my life around...why would I?). The narrator did. Like almost all men, when he "wanted more", he didn't "experiment with new things" as you put it. Instead, he nosedived into his oneitis and massively re-oriented his life into systems that were guaranteed to eventually made him unhappy. That's the difference between betas/Alpha 1.0s and the Alpha 2.0.
Rick 2014-02-01 12:24:10
"When I pursue my “wanting more”, I don’t make massive compromises into huge areas of my life. I don’t surrender my freedom or my happiness, nor do I allow any person in my life to intrude upon these things." That's correct. Though you're at a different stage in life than the guy you wrote about/character you created. Unfortunately, we need to be burned by the fire to realize it's hot. And then some of us want to touch it again.
Blackdragon 2014-02-01 14:53:07
Though you’re at a different stage in life than the guy you wrote aboutVery flimsy and inaccurate excuse. Even as a young beta in my 20s I didn't get monogamous repeatedly nor give up my freedoms to a woman. The one time I did do it, I did it reluctantly, seeing no other option, not because I "wanted" to, and even then I knew my odds of long-term success were not high.
Unfortunately, we need to be burned by the fire to realize it’s hot. And then some of us want to touch it again.The very definition of insanity. Or stupidity. Or lack of direction in life. Or mental illness. Pick one.
Rick 2014-02-01 17:12:27
"Very flimsy and inaccurate excuse." It might be flimsy but it's by no means inaccurate. Yeah, you did it one way, but other people aren't you; they have different emotional circuitry, upbringing, etc. "The very definition of insanity. Or stupidity. Or lack of direction in life. Or mental illness. Pick one." I'm not saying I like it. I'm saying that's how it is. And you really can't change that, as we see generation after generation the same political mistakes are made, the same personal mistakes are made, etc. As I said before, that's humanity. History tells us this.
Blackdragon 2014-02-01 17:22:23
Jesus. Your nihilistic view of the world has worn out its welcome here. I'm not going to respond to any more of your "the world is screwed, we're all screwed, nothing we can do about it" comments any longer. I wish you the all the best.
Rick 2014-02-01 19:18:44
You're not really using the term "nihilism" correctly. The term refers to there being no value (which can lead to reckless behavior, a sort of "I can do anything and not worry about consequences" mindset). I've never said anything suggesting that there is nothing valuable. Your response to my comments is basically identical to a monogamist who defends his or her actions and then gets frustrated because he or she doesn't hear what they want to hear (i.e. there's no logic to it, just emotion).
Korg 2014-02-03 00:44:54
Nice description of how the male hamster works. Esp the, 'game is poison' part.
Tin Man 2014-02-08 06:58:21
All I say, is ain't it the truth. And we do it to ourselves.
johnnight 2014-09-15 09:09:37
Re: what Rick wrote: > The post does not, however, explain ‘why’ the ‘I’ (narrator) does what he does, and I think that’s important to understand. Human beings cycle between the want for excitement and security. We can't have both at the same time, which is why we spent some time in room A and then when we had enough we go into room B. Women want material security and excitement. Men want it too, but different. Men want intimacy security and sexual excitement.
JB 2017-01-17 05:56:10
Gave this oldie a re-read today because of all the recent "marriage" posts. I'd actually consider it one of the most important posts written on this blog for men who's been living the Alpha 2.0 lifestyle for a while. It sums up the whole, natural journey; The frustration that leads men to the manosphere The excitement to learn and try the techniques The overwhelming succes and joy it brings to get consistent results and experience NRE with multiple girls at once The ending of the exciting phase (I.e. "goal achieved", such like hitting an annual income of 100$ K and wondering "What now?") That feeling when you get extremely powerful NRE (That you either control and enjoy or turn oneitsy like our protagonist) I think we could all fall trap to the fact that the grass will always seem greener on the other side; Once you've gotten consistent, the sweet sound of having a girl who's Not Like The Rest™ and Will Love You Forever™ and Have Sex With You Every Day™ suddenly sounds exciting and promising, and we could all risk falling straight back into old models that we already know don't work. Very inspirational when you're in some serious NRE.
Johnjohn 2017-12-02 08:48:29
HAHAHAHAHAHA You forgot the part where you leave flowers at the grave of Algernon, the sweet bluepill beta guy you realize is just the same as you