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Why It’s Important To Give Her Orgasms
I've talked before about how important it is to make sure you bring a woman to orgasm every time you have sex with her if your goal is to keep her in a reasonably long-term and happy FB or MLTR relationship. Today I'm going to explain why this is so crucial, and help you get there.
-By Caleb Jones
Only 16 percent of heterosexual women reported having an orgasm 100 percent of the time they have sex. 7 percent of women have never had an orgasm in their entire life.
Other studies have shown:
30-43% of women have "trouble" reaching an orgasm. Approximately 80% of women cannot (or don't know how to) orgasm from vaginal sex alone. Younger women have less orgasms. Quote: "61% of women ages 18 to 24 experienced orgasm the last time they had sex, 65 percent of women in their 30s did and about 70 percent of women in their 40s and 50s did.”
This all means two things:
1. Women don't know how to cum during sex.
2. Men aren't taking the time to show them.
This is a huge opportunity for you. This means there's a strong possibility that woman you're on a first date with has not cum during sex lately and/or doesn't cum often (unless she does it to herself). If she's under 30, and statistically she probably is, then this is even more likely.
The Benefits YOU Receive
When you start having sex with her, and make her cum every time you have sex, you're going to blow her away (pun intended). I can tell you from vast experience this will bring you the following benefits:
1. You will be unlike any other man she's ever been with in her life. That fact alone, that you make her orgasm every time you have sex, will set you apart.
2. She will start looking forward to sex with you unlike with any other man she's ever dated.
3. When she realizes you're never going to get monogamous with her, she is going to be much less likely to leave you, next you, or LSNFTE you.
4. She will be more tolerant of any other behaviors you have she perceives as negative. This noticeably reduces betaization.
5. Even if she starts having sex with other men, she'll be far less likely to dump you for them. Worst case, she'll make one her "monogamous" boyfriend but keep having discreet sex with you on the side. (Again I speak from experience here.)
6. It dramatically increases the odds she'll return to you after a LSNFTE if she does leave you.
All of these benefits are huge. There are few other open/poly techniques I can offer you that has so much positive impact on your results.
Years ago when I was trying to master the open/poly lifestyle, when I started regularly making women cum every time we had sex, I noticed all of the above benefits in stark contrast to how women were behaving before. I remember calling it a "magic wand" back then, because it was. The difference it made was clear and massive.
It's actually a rare thing for a man to consistently take the time and effort to bring a woman to orgasm. Ask any woman and they'll confirm this. Bad news for women, but fantastic news for you. Be that man, and the results you'll get from her will be awesome.
1. Go down on her. Remember to do this and take the time to do this. You can do this before sex or during. The easiest way to do this, at least in my opinion, is to start having sex, enjoy yourself, and when you start getting a little tired, take a "break" for yourself and go down on her. It takes a lot less energy to lay down and work your tongue a little than it does to be on top of a woman pumping away.
So view the "go down time" as a "break" if that makes it easier for you. Keep going until she orgasms. When she does, shake your tongue out and proceed with funky funky time. Now you don't have to worry about it any more and can pump pumpity pump to your heart's content.
2. For most women, no special technique is required. Some guys get really nervous about this and think they need to go read five books on sexual techniques before they go down on a woman. You know what? You really don't. Here's all the sexual technique you need: Locate her clit and lick it. That's it. Google some vagina diagrams if you have no idea where the clit is. Then just lick the damn thing. If she says it's "too much", then lick right next to it.
That's really all you need to worry about for at least 70% of women out there.
Are there better ways to go down on a woman or make her cum? Oh yes. I'm just talking to you cunnilingus newbies at the moment. If you want to get more fancy, please do so. I certainly do; I have all kinds of techniques that involve my tongue and fingers, and her outer and inner vag. (Maybe I'll get into more detail in a future post.) Reading some sex books does help. David Shade is great. My point here is that for most women, not all, but most, that's really all you need to do: lick the clit until she cums. That's it.
3. Communicate with her. If it looks like you're not getting the job done, or if she seems nervous, or whatever, then ask her what she likes and what she doesn't. Note: Do NOT do this during sex. If you do this during sex you'll either turn her off or make her self-conscious. Do this when you're not having sex.
Just ask her, calmly, and keep asking. Get her to tell you specifics. Some women like different things. You need to know what these things are. Find out exactly where and how she likes to be touched, and what the best way she likes to cum is.
By the way, asking a woman the best way to make her cum is not some beta male supplication move. It's quite the opposite. Again, go re-read the six benefits I listed above. Unless you're only after one night stands, making her cum and getting the info on how to best make this happen is one of the smartest and most effective things you can do.
4. Some women can't orgasm. Do your best anyway. As the above stats show, and as any man who's slept with a lot of women already knows, there are some women who simply cannot cum at all, no matter what you do or how well you do it.
This is okay. BUT, and this is a big BUT, this does not excuse you from trying. If you want those six benefits above, you still need to go down on her and work her body as if you are trying to make her cum. Even if she doesn't go all the way to orgasm, she'll still love it, and you'll likely be the only man who's ever done it to her that often.
And hey, you never know, one day you might actually get her there...then you'll be the "only man who's ever made her cum." I've been this man to more than one woman, and trust me, this is a very, very good place to be.
5. Stop thinking that going down on a woman is somehow not Alpha, manly, or dominant. Nothing could be further from the truth. It's the beta male pansies out there who can't make women cum, or don't know how, or are too scared to try, or think it's "gross", or are too lazy to bother. Alphas make women cum. And women know it.
I occasionally run into guys who are under the impression that taking the time to make a woman feel good during sex is somehow supplicating or subservient. While I do understand that kind of linear guy-logic, the results I listed above speak for themselves. I wouldn't have a 96% return rate for women if my technique of making them cum every time made me look like a beta.
Moreover, just because you make a woman cum doesn't mean you can't be 100% dominant with a woman for the rest of the sexual experience. I'm extremely dominant sexually, and none of this is dimmed by making a woman cum, especially considering you can bring a woman to orgasm in a very dominant manner. ("Shut up bitch! You're going to cum for me now!") You get the idea.
If you still have this thought in your mind, then sit down and think through a way you could make a woman cum, but on your terms. How could you take the time to bring a woman to orgasm in a way that turns you on while you do it? I'm sure you can think of something. So think of it, and do it.
Bottom line: not taking the time to do this during sex harms your ability to maintain long-term and harmonious open/poly relationships. You're crazy if you don't take advantage of it.
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TheMaleBrain 2019-02-10 05:53:55
Adding to the discussion: Another reason to make her cum is to release her emotionally. This reduces drama and helps solidify the emotional bond (her to you).
Hanna 2017-02-22 14:21:12
Well I'm sure glad I can cum easily with any dick,even if I hate the guy! Lol This poor poor guy has no idea about women. Because "she will" leave. Males are males. Nothing sets them apart from one another. Only an insecure sad ugly female will stick around and tolerate shit behavior. A dildo can replace a man even. And a vibrator can never replicate a human. This article encourages men to be deceiving evil ass holes. But what they do not tell you is that this behavior will blow up in your face in the end. Remember guys,pussy is power. Women know this and you will be scrambling for it til you die......
yannick 2014-10-14 15:40:43
I have been single for a year and a half now, i been with a nunb nut for 9 years who had zero libido was tickled with everything i did. I stayed with her because we had a house and i loved her go figure and she was the one leaving me for another men. She sucked in bed a lot but i made her cum every time with my finger rubbing on her clit that was boring and she never begged me for sex she was a screwed up bitch in the head. Now for the real women that i met and what i learned true experimenting. When love a man who is sensual with them, say i am about to have sex with a women i stand behind her, then i start massaging her neck her hair, then i undress her and kiss her traps, slowly massage her back, then they all say you are sending vibes in all my body. After that simply start kissing her and touching massaging her face. I grantee 100% that 99.9% of women have never been touched like that and she will literally see you has a james bond type of amazing love maker. So far i been to Cuba and did that on 2 women there and 1 that i met on theses awful dating website and i am convinced. There is no better way to make turn her on make her wet and ready. And yes most women i have been with will come when men play with there clitoris, its weird some cum both ways vaginal and clit but they are very rare. Great article for sure once again.
Female Reader 2014-09-15 03:04:00
I just want to say that I am one of the few women who don't especially enjoy being gone down on, and don't care about cumming. I've only been able to cum with toys, and I don't ever expect a man to make me cum. This is not because I have a bad lover. My boyfriend tells me he is the only girl he has not been able to make cum, and he has been around. I don't like the sensation and I don't like to see a man in a compromised position. He has tried really hard to make me cum but I don't even truly appreciate it because it puts pressure on me, which I don't like. Although he wishes he could make me cum, he also thinks he's lucky because he's one of the few men out there who don't have to satisfy his girl in the way you're talking about in order to get what he wants from her (I do anything he wants at any time). Basically he gets the goods "for free". But maybe it's also important to note that he has other qualities that many men don't have that make me want to be his slut (he is a big guy with the biggest cock ever, is a great boyfriend, has no problems finding even the hottest girls).
POB 2014-09-12 15:33:10
I don't get it, there's absolutely no secret to make women cum. I usually go like this: 1) forepaly a lot, kiss her on the neck, ears, shoulders, tights, grab her with strenght, pick her up, lead the way always, a lot of pull with little push intervals 2) slowly take her clothes off, touch and kiss her breasts and stomach (work her breasts, it's sooo good!!!), place her hand on my cock and if she feels it I let her play a little 3) if she's standing, lead her to bed, take the rest of her clothes off, leave the panties 4) work the panties with light and heavy touching, kiss her inner tights and pussy, small bites on the clit, grab her hips and push her cunt towards my mouth 5) sometimes the panties go, sometimes they stay and I just push it aside to start licking 6) no secret here, just lick the damn thing alternating angles, soft touches, and heavy tongue work....10 minutes tops and she's asking for more TIPS: - don't stop FOR NOTHING, even if she asks you to....chances are you will make her cum again and again and again. If she doesn't want it anymore, she'll push you aside, believe me. - they almost always cum again when I bang them with my cock, because the more aroused they are, the easier they cum with any stymulus. That's it.
Blackdragon 2014-09-11 11:44:24
How hard do you try? When is it ok to give up while working on a woman that doesn’t cum?I don't have a hard and fast rule, but first I get an idea if she CAN cum. "Can you cum during sex? How long does it usually take? Do you cum inside or outside?" Etc. With those answers, I will work just hard enough to stay within that range. For example, if she says she always cums during sex without much trouble, but it sometimes takes her 15 minutes, I'll go down on her for 15 minutes. If nothing happens after that long, I'll stop, but I will make a mental note and try it again next time.
You just sold me on “monogamy” right there. The cheating kind, of course. Much easier to fake monogamy than to work during fun time imo.If you want to incur the 15 or so major negatives of monogamy just so you don't have to go down on a woman, then go ahead.
Greg 2014-09-11 06:17:03
"If you want those six benefits above, you still need to go down on her and work her body as if you are trying to make her cum. Even if she doesn’t go all the way to orgasm, she’ll still love it, and you’ll likely be the only man who’s ever done it to her that often." How hard do you try? When is it ok to give up while working on a woman that doesn't cum?
Greg 2014-09-11 05:49:24
"If your goal is monogamy or one night stands, then I guess you can do whatever you want and don’t have to worry about making her cum." You just sold me on "monogamy" right there. The cheating kind, of course. Much easier to fake monogamy than to work during fun time imo.
RevLifestyleDesign 2014-09-08 14:00:49
Absolutely agree BD, dopamine is the most addictive chemical in the world and there is more released in an orgasm then anything outside of crack cocaine. Assuming you don't want to get your girls hooked on crack, making them orgasm every time they see you is the easiest way to get them addicted to you.
Diggy 2014-09-08 09:29:00
Gentlemen, ABUNDANCE is the key here! There are millions of women in the world. There is no need to waste time on women that have hygiene issues, are flaky, or dont like sex oral or otherwise. If you have these issues in the beginning god know what it ends up as, my guess is drama! Picking from the winners and not caring about the ones that passed on me or the ones I passed on them has improved my outlook. Seriously, have a standard... If you just need pussy so bad that you have to make bad choices of women isnt winning, its beta! Period!
superslaviswife 2014-09-08 06:33:25
Except that there's a large number of women who are unnerved, bored or viscerally disgusted by receiving oral. Just Googling "I hate receiving oral sex" brings up 446k results, almost all of which women. Orgasm or no orgasm, some women don't want it.
mrkitti 2014-09-07 20:39:02
i would also like to add something ive noticed. 2 years ago i got into pickup as hard as i could. It would be me and a friend going out in the weekends. We didnt drink, and we live in a smaller city, so we drove to alot of new places. It was kinda fun, but at the same time, we got little to no results. some phone numbers but thats it. After half a year of this, we decided to go to Oslo, where we could do daygaming too, and i was allready picturing myself with a harem of girls on rotation. So about a year ago, we moved to Oslo. And wow. daygaming is hard. Sure you get alot of numbers, but its all flaky. And while we did DG, we slowly stopped with the nightgame. Ive never felt comfortable with nightgame anyways. Everyday i started feeling more and more like shit. So much work and so little results. It didnt help that the guy i was doing this with, only had a time-window of max 3 hours everyday, and he was constantly bitching. But my social anxiety drains me completely if im doing it on my own. The walking between the sets is a pain if youre on your own. In the end of 2013, things were going a little better. Got some lays and stuff. Im not saying things were just bad either. I leared alot! But now i got some results. I even got a 39-year old gf. more like a fuckbuddy who came over to my apartment 2 times a week. But she was great and smokin hot. brazilian;) When i started getting it on with her, my gaming-buddy, turned out to be talking alot behind my back, and there i was alone. I had my brazilian gf/fb, so i was good. But i couldnt just give up after all the stuff i learned? no! But i got lazy. I only met girls on tinder now. Compared to approaching over 50 women a day, i was now only waiting for responses on tinder. I hated having to put my faith in waiting. I had no control. So i cheated. I just had to try all and taste all. But i still felt unease. something wasnt right. now i had no social life. I was sitting alone in my apartment all day, everyday. no friends. And the only good days was when my gf/fb came over. But in the evening when she had to go, i felt so lonely and empty. In march, she needed a break. (she was depressed and something about the divorce blah blah.) And i had a bad feeling. The next two weeks, i was like a zombie. I had nothing. nothing... When i tried to check up on the "break-status". she said it was over. I couldnt take it anymore. Not 1 more fucking day alone. But i didnt have a choice. Its like when youre in prison and feel like you cant take it anymore. But there is nothing you can do. I tried solo-daygaming, but it felt useless. Imagine netdating, and all the messages you send. how many of them turn into dates? its the same thing, just you have to do it manually. Some days went by and i met a girl on tinder. She was beautiful. 18 and, im seroius, her face was one of the most beautiful ive ever seen. I met her, and she agreed to sleep over, on the first date. we had some mcdonalds, and some candy while we watched a movies. And great sex. It was so nice. Next time i met her, she actually came home with me to my hometown. ye i was rushing things. One day, i took the bus from Oslo to her hometown. It was a great day. Ive even decided to move back home the next day. And we agreed on me taking the bus to my hometown. Then i could borrow my dads cars, and come over to her and sleep over. So the next day, i was in a hurry. Packing my bags, taking the buss etc. I ate quickly when i got home and drove away. When i came to her town, i sent her a message. She was on a football-supporter buss, and she said they were arriving in 30 min. 40 mins passed, and i called her. No answer. After 1.5 hour of constant trying to call her, leaving messages, and even calling the bus company wich said she got off long ago, i got a text. "im out drinking." The feeling i now felt, was one of the worst i can remember. All the pain held up inside me, came running out. I was furious. I was seriously affraid i would get an heartattack. Hours of calling and messaging, got me nowhere. i even had to buy a car-charger for my cellphone. and i was broke. Then i started threatening her that i would ring on her parents door etc etc. and everytime i thought i reached a bit through, i lost her again. And then i did it. I commented on her parenting skills. (shes a 18 yr old mom yes.) Now it was all my fault:) jeez... After 8 hours, i just gave up and drove home. a 2,5 hour drive. yay. But i was calm. Thats something i forgot to mention about this girl. Have you ever had a really bad feeling in your stomach? i always had it with this girl. something wasnt right. She never really seemed THAT interested, but at the same time she could put up an act and seem superinterested. for the last 8 days, that feeling had really been there. She was with me in my apartmentin oslo, and the next morning i got pissed, that she was so distant. It really didnt feel like she wanted to be with me, so i told her that if shes gonna act like that, she could just go now. and thats how it started. But i never really trusted her anyways. So i was in the car, driving home. I felt so calm. like a burden had been taken off my shoulders. The next day, i was supposed to go back to oslo again with the car to pick up the last of my things. I woke up and felt so refreshed. I deleted my tinder profile and started all over again. I got more picky and got some hot matches. Things were feeling good. Now i started hanging out with a guy. the brother of one of my exes. And finally i could hang out with someone who wanted the same as me. We met girls ona dating site, and hanged out with them. I quickly got a girlfriend too, but it was more of a rebounce. i wasnt attracted to her, and i was just trying to fill the empty feeling in my heart. This was fun. The guy was kinda cool to hang out with. We did all kinds of crazy stuff, but over time i started to get some serious problems with him. he has a car, wich is a big pluss, but he kept ruining "dates". Especially if he was drunk. Wich he started to get more and more. I had to drive his car, while he got drunk and kept ruining with the girls we met. and this city aint that big. I would rather not meet girls than to ruin it with him at this point. so i stopped hanging out with him. Everytime he sent me a message he expected me to find girls we could meet, and he was constantly hinting about not wanting to drive anymore. He had nothing to give me now. So i stopped hanging out with him. I almost dont remember how i spent my days after this. No online gaming and i was just sitting at home, playing wow. the days just went by. like beeing in a coma. Then i started to miss the feeling i had earlier in the summer. And i knew what i had to do. I had to go back to my friend. Times change quick after a few weeks. He didnt seem as interested as he used to. And now he was out drinking every weekend. He used to drink while in the car with me too, but then we got to see new places and people. Im trying to get him back on the same track with me, but something inside me holds me back. He's the kinda guy you just cant trust. He's only playying for himself, and its okay too look out for number one, but when there is no teamwork, we only fight eachother. If i do good with a girl, he'll push hard for a threesome. and i cant stand threesomes with other guys. And he would sleep with any girl im with if he gets the chance. Combine that with the fact that he keeps ruining thing all the time, then you can probably see the outcome. So the last few weeks, ive started to come back. slowly but steady. But ive gotten a feeling i hate so much. I feel lonely. I want a girlfriend. and this is where i confuse myself. i know im gonna cheat. i know ill hate doing relationship stuff. so why do i want this? it feels good to have someone. nomatter what. its not the fact that relationships are full or drama and stuff, but the idea of it. the idea to have someone to fullfill your sexual needs. Someone who are there for you. Even when you sleep. Its deeper than a friendship and you feel you can let your guard down. People who have lots of fuckbuddies, and much gaming success, feel less of this need, as its mostly beeing fulfilled. But even them might go into the "trap". the idea of a relationship is on a deep level. beyond logic. the hot girl i was with that flaked on me when i drove all the way meet her. i was seriously considering to take care of her and her kid, and get a shitty job just to be able to move in with her. wtf was i thinking!? And now ive met a girl, where i have been considering doing stuff, just to be with her. This lifestyle is brutal. And we may want to believe the world (and women) doesnt work this way. Reality is harsh. To be honest, i actually hate the way women act, but i love women. Its the only passion in this world that makes sense to me. Its on my mind 24/7. i hope this long post fits in here. I just wanted to share my story, so my conclusion would make any sense from the stuff ive experienced.
KDN6 2014-09-07 09:42:23
LOL @ Smiley Fish On! I ain't taking that bait. Haha. @Dawson Have you tried taking it further than for them to just simply ask for permission to cum? I've prevented and delayed several women to cum to the point where they almost beg for release. And when you allow it, wow, watch out. It's mind-blowing what Alpha men can get away with and do to a woman, after leaving them soaking wet with their knees shaking uncontrollably. My ex said I ruined her for sex with other men, but then again I hear she's now living with some beta. Haha.
DonPheromon 2014-09-06 18:01:23
@KDN6... Cool! Reason I asked was that I'm very sensitive to poor personal hygiene and very easily get turned off/disgusted by dirt especially in females. And what's up with these chiqs not wanting to shave their pubic hair.....most especially blacks? There was these chick I was with, she had so much hair down there, it took me a full five minutes to locate her pussy...
race 2014-09-06 07:02:56
i'm going to have to agree with this entire post. i have one gorgeous ex-wife, three fine ex g/f and one current g/f who all are more than happy to entertain some "quality time" with me because i consistently made them orgasm. and as the OP said, i discovered in each case i was the only guy who had ever done that. plus, once you are placed in her "he makes me orgasm" bucket...you NEVER leave it.
Smiley 2014-09-06 06:27:40
Actually, a recent study found that men high in agreeableness (beta) and oriented towards relationships (beta) where more interested in giving women oral sex than men with the opposite traits (alpha)
Dawson Stone 2014-09-06 04:22:59
@KDN6 I agree with what you say about letting the Hitachi do all the work but it is an awesome tool. I make sure to not use it for more than 25-35% of their orgasms. A few (very few) have even told me they don't like it. I have found that the permission approach gets them focused on their own bodies more so they can see the signs of their impending orgasm. Many get to the point where they can really control how often and how fast they cum to the point they can literally cum on demand.
zylya 2014-09-06 01:17:00
A little known observation about female orgasm is that if you can make them orgasm BEFORE penetration, they're way more likely to orgasm DURING penetration. So get to work with fingers/mouth (I honestly hardly ever go down on girls, but I more than make up for it in finger technique/other stuff). I think more important than just being able to make them cum though is to focus on her pleasure - if you get this right you'll have girls loving what you're doing and they'll repay the favour over and over. I also can't recommend David Shade's masterful lover programme enough, although it's disappointing to see that he's now basically a spam-lord over email. The ML ebook is full of amazing techniques and mindsets and should be required reading for anyone who wants to have good sex.
KDN6 2014-09-05 23:38:10
@DonPheromon Like BD said...not much chance of STD via oral, but I have one word for you that you need to remember: Herpes. That shit is not curable. Make sure she doesn't have it, and bluntly ask her before you go there. Who gives a fuck if she gets offended? Better safe than sorry for life! As to the odor problem, I usually provide a wonderful, soothing, bubble bath prior to sex, if this is an issue. If it stills smells afterwards, then it's time to move on to fingers (and double condoms) or better yet another girl!
KDN6 2014-09-05 23:02:04
Excellent post. What most men don't realize is that it's always better for the women to cum first before them. Some women are capable of multiple orgasms, and some lucky men are capable of this as well. After she cums, you can pump to your heart's content, as BD suggests, and make her cum again vaginally. In my younger days, I've made more than one woman literally cry after cumming vaginally, since they've either never experienced this or haven't had it happen to them in a long time. The key is patience and timing. Yes, the dominant "permission" thing works as well, when you want her to cum, but you can usually tell when it becomes too much for her. She will tell (scream) you. The Hitachi vibrator works great as well, especially with my ex, but it got old after awhile, and it made me lazy. Some men (and I was also guilty of this) use it to avoid the work involved to bring a woman to ultimate ecstasy, which often involved a lot of foreplay, sensual touching, dirty talk, etc. You'd be surprised how well mental fuckplay works so much better and faster than just simple clitoral stimulation to make a woman cum really cum hard. While pumping her, all you have to do is say a few dirty fuck words that will turn her on, and she will cum just like that. Remember, women are mental and emotional creatures in all ways. They are not like most men who need just the right amount of physical stimulation to get off.
Wolfgang 2014-09-05 20:25:04
You can definitely go down on a girl with a dominant frame like I think bd suggested, e.g."come for me now bitch" but I also like to be physically dominant. While eating a girl out I'll squeeze her ass and tits and even reach all the way up and choke her. I guess this only works with smaller girls though.
Blackdragon 2014-09-05 16:15:18
What are the risks?Extremely low odds of STD transmission from pussy to mouth/bloodstream.
Are the odds of contracting something this way <2%???I don't have exact figures but probably. I can only speak for myself; going down on some cute but freaky/skanky chick I've only known for 1-3 hours doesn't sit well with me, regardless of statistical STD risk. Especially when I have a finger that can do pretty much the same thing.
ithidesacocoon 2014-09-05 12:17:45
@BD You say: "Yes, there are risks although they are very low. Often I don’t go down on women with my mouth the first, and perhaps second time we have sex until I know what I’m dealing with." 1. What are the risks? 2. Are the odds of contracting something this way <2%???
Blackdragon 2014-09-05 09:57:09
what happens when you with a woman you discover isn’t all that clean? do you still go down on her?No. Use your finger instead.
if yeah, any medical consequences or risk of contacting something?Yes, there are risks although they are very low. Often I don't go down on women with my mouth the first, and perhaps second time we have sex until I know what I'm dealing with.
Second, when I locate the clit, I usually jab with my tongue, as in front and back. Many of them tell me they prefer this to the up and down licking motion. Problem is, this tires me easily and my tongue gets stiff and a little painful in no time. How do I get around this.Just lick it instead. Licking still brings them to orgasm. Sucking the clit is also a really good idea; women love it and it gives your tongue a break.
any other way to make them cum apart from clit stimulation?Oh yes, with her g-spot inside or anally, though most women don't know how to do this initially without a lot of practice. The g-spot you have to locate with your index or middle finger and work it. Some women can come this way just through normal sex (though the vast majority can not).
I remember you saying a while ago(both in a blog post and on the forums) you hardly ever go down on women and give oral. You were pretty staunch about it. You stated you only go down on women you’ve been with for a good while. Most of it was due to fear of getting an STD if I recall correctly. Why the sudden flip flop?That's regarding the first or second time I fuck a woman. True. Often I won't because again, I don't know what I'm dealing with. What I'm talking about in the article above is a woman you're in a relationship with and have already had sex with a few times. But I don't wait until I go down on a woman "a good while". Often it can be fuck number 3. Sometimes even fuck number 1. It depends on the woman, how responsible she is, her age, her sexual history, and my gut feeling. Again though, I will still use my finger if I don't use my mouth.
Dawson Stone 2014-09-05 08:22:29
@DonPheromon In my experience every woman is different and you have to pay careful attention to their body language (how they move, moan, etc.) Some woman LOVE being fingered (some with one finger, some up to three) while you lick their clit. Others hate that. Gently sucking a women's clit when mixed in with licking and stroking with your tongue will drive others wild too. In the same way not every guy wants his dick sucked the same way. Try different things for 30-60 secs and watch/listen carefully and all will be revealed. Plus if you take my advice and make them ask permission to cum you know EXACTLY when you hit the right buttons. Squirting is also a good clue. 😉 Finally, if you can smell the pussy before you are close enough to lick the pussy KEEP MOVING and make damn sure you are wearing a condom IMO.
fudgeman 2014-09-05 07:43:13
DonPheromon, If a girls pussy has a weird smell or is visibly disgusting... you should have self respect and NOT go down. You probably shouldn't even bang her. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't suck your cock if it smelled like shit....
fudgeman 2014-09-05 07:40:57
BD, I remember you saying a while ago(both in a blog post and on the forums) you hardly ever go down on women and give oral. You were pretty staunch about it. You stated you only go down on women you've been with for a good while. Most of it was due to fear of getting an STD if I recall correctly. Why the sudden flip flop?
DonPheromon 2014-09-05 04:28:04
Great Post BD! Just the kind that keeps me interested in this blog. Two or three questions though. First is a little related to what itidesacocoon asked - what happens when you with a woman you discover isn't all that clean? do you still go down on her? if yeah, any medical consequences or risk of contacting something? Second, when I locate the clit, I usually jab with my tongue, as in front and back. Many of them tell me they prefer this to the up and down licking motion. Problem is, this tires me easily and my tongue gets stiff and a little painful in no time. How do I get around this. Thirdly - any other way to make them cum apart from clit stimulation?
ithidesacocoon 2014-09-04 11:23:17
Dawson Stone 2014-09-04 10:54:05
@ithidesacocoon Before we have sex (when sexually escalating) I will talk about my being dominant in bed. Nearly all women respond well to that. Then I tell them they are to ask permission before coming and thank me after each orgasm. The reason this really is so important and why I disagree with "When in doubt, assume she didn’t cum and just keep doing" is by knowing she is about to cum and noting what I am doing to her at the time I will very quickly get an idea about what specific things I do that flip her switches. Some girls like to be choked. Others spanked. Others have their hair pulled. etc. etc. By knowing for sure what things get her off it is easier and faster to get her across the goal line IMO.
ithidesacocoon 2014-09-04 10:44:16
My favorite way to make a woman come is by going down on her because 1. I enjoy it and 2. I'm good at it. Sometimes I get a woman with a VERY STRONG odor from her pussy. This makes the experience unpleasant. What can I do about this?
Blackdragon 2014-09-04 09:34:28
A few additional things I doGood advice! Except the Viagra thing. There are some long-term negative effects with that.
BUT here’s my problem: condoms make pussy taste awful. Any advice on how to mitigate that?Use a different brand of condom. Experiment.
ALSO sometimes I can’t tell if the chick came or is just really excited…is it a turn off (verbalization) to ask: “did you just come?”When in doubt, assume she didn't cum and just keep doing. Sometimes women will say "stop!" if you do this, because the clit can be sensitive right after an orgasm.
I would like to ad that 90% of the female orgasm is in her head.Absolutely correct! I talked about that in the other orgasm post I linked to.
Sparks 2014-09-04 09:11:34
This is pure gold, one of the few things I managed to figure out on my own before ever taking the red pill was always trying to make them cum. Every woman I've ever slept with has come back for more precisely because I was one of the few/the only man to ever make it happen. They really are putty in your hands if you can do it and will tolerate all kinds of crappy behaviour from you afterwards. Don't forget as well that women talk amongst their friends about their sexual exploits. I've had more than a few friends of girls I was seeing come up to me drunk saying they 'heard I was great in bed' etc. You can take advantage of this, I believe BD calls it 'referral game'.
ithidesacocoon 2014-09-04 08:20:48
@Dawson Stone I like that! What do you say exactly?
Diggy 2014-09-04 08:19:39
I forgot, I also agree with BDs numbers. I was blown away by a few older women telling me that they had there first orgasm when they were 25-27 and it was with a toy. How many women dont orgasm with a man on the regular. YOU CAN CHANGE THIS! I also do what dawson said about asking the most number of times they have and making it my goal to beat that... rarely fail if Im trying!
ithidesacocoon 2014-09-04 08:15:01
I like that! What do you say exactly?
Diggy 2014-09-04 08:13:47
I would like to ad that 90% of the female orgasm is in her head. Remember this before just trying to fuck her brains out. Lead! Second, but more importantly.... check the ego. Making it all about you has never led me to a fruitful experience. Make it about her, take your time, and truly want to please them. The greatest skill I have learned in my entire life is how to make a woman (thus far every woman) have a full body squirting orgasm. SHes yours after that...she'll do anything. ANYTHING! It takes time and effort to learn these things but your effort will be rewarded... trust me. Lastly, offering advice to take Viagra while young is terrible. There are lots of side effects and its not necessary. One can take cheap OTC arginine in low doses and achieve the same effects. Advanced theory... eat well and exercise will cure almost any issue. Start taking normal doses of arginine, lecithin, pygmeum, zinc 4-6 weeks before desired effects. 24 hours before load lecithin and H2O. Ive tried this once for my first threesome.. Peter North would have high fived me. Shoot, Im way off topic but seriously don't just take Viagra.
Dawson Stone 2014-09-04 07:42:56
The way I handle the "did you come" problem is I always make them ask permission to cum…it asserts my dominance and also gives me an accurate orgasm count.
ithidesacocoon 2014-09-04 06:38:32
Good article. I like the idea of taking a break from fucking to go down on her. It's mutually beneficial b/c it gives me time to cool off so I don't orgasm before I'm ready. BUT here's my problem: condoms make pussy taste awful. Any advice on how to mitigate that? ALSO sometimes I can't tell if the chick came or is just really excited...is it a turn off (verbalization) to ask: "did you just come?" Thanks!
Dawson Stone 2014-09-04 05:41:19
Great post. I agree with all of it. A few additional things I do: 1. I use a Hitachi magic wand on a woman's clit while fucking them. I have given a large number of women an orgasm this way and made a number of women squirt for the first time. And the vibrator is doing most of the work and you get all the credit. 2. Before we meet (and before we have sex) I find out the most times they have ever had an orgasm in a single session before and then strive to crush that number. One 19 year old I was recently with had never had more than 5 and she had 26 with me. She isn't going anywhere unless I beat her. 3. I usually escalate to dominance before I meet and have them send me links to videos that turn them on along with descriptions about what about them turns them on…this gives you a fantastic road map 4. Although I agree that going down on a girl during sex can give you a break, I prefer to use it as foreplay. If I can make her cum that way first she is putty. 5. Take Viagra (or similar) if you are over 30. I don't care how good you are or how hard you get you will be better with enhancement and makes condom use easier.
Sean 2014-09-04 05:16:00
Good stuff. I just had this discussion with a beta friend of mine that thinks it is disgusting and supplicating to go down on a woman. But then he is married to a dominant fatty, so maybe he is right in his case 🙂