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5 Ways To Avoid False Rape Accustations
Lots of college women are accusing men of rape just because they had consensual sex and then regretted it later, or because they had consensual sex when they had been drinking, etc. Do you think that a college man should treat the risk of being accused of rape in this way (i.e., resulting from consensual sex) as falling into your less-than-2%-category? Or does the risk justify a college man changing his lifestyle, such as by sleeping with only non-college women, etc.?
-By Caleb Jones
I am also not going to get into a discussion about actual rape or the definition of rape. I've already covered that in great detail right here.
Regardless, his question is not about sexual politics but rather about applicable technique, and that I will happily talk about.
I can't give anyone advice about specifically having sex with women while in college, since I myself didn't go to college, think college is a horrible idea these days, and strongly believe there are better paths to success for young men. My best advice regarding sex at college is to not go to college in the first place, and instead follow the advice in the free ebook linked in the prior sentence. If you want to experience the party atmosphere of college, then fine. Don't go to college, get an entry-level growth job, and then go live near a college and go hang out with college people and go to college parties. There you go! All the party benefits of college without paying a ridiculously inflated tuition for a near-useless degree. This really isn't rocket science, folks.
But, if you're already in college right now, then I guess that ship has sailed.
What I can give advice about is sex with new women in the context of areas I have extensive experience in, namely online dating, social circle game, and to a lesser degree, daygame. I have had sex with a lot of women, and my average meet-to-sex time with a new women these days is about three hours. Yet I have never in my entire life been accused of rape or any other sexual assault, falsely or otherwise. This is because I use a dating system that avoids these kinds of circumstances in the first place.
Here's how you can avoid this kind of unpleasantness while still getting to sex very quickly with new women. The points below are not listed in any particular order.
1. Don't do SNLs. Go for second-date sex instead. An SNL in pickup parlance is Single Night Lay. This means you meet a woman you've never met before and have sex with her in that very same meeting. As most of you already know, I don't do this. Instead I follow a two-date system. One first date that lasts an hour, then a second date where she comes to my house and we have sex. The combined time for both dates is usually less than four hours, often less than three.
I hate to say this, but a false rape accusation (FRA) is more likely if you do SNLs (one-date-lays) than if you have sex on the second date. If you have sex with a woman on the second date, there is less buyer's remorse on her part and the odds of an ongoing FB or MLTR relationship are higher. This is win/win all around if you're a Pleasure of Sex man. If you're a Thrill of the Hunt man, this won't be very fun for you, but if you're trying to avoid FRA then I don't have any easy answers for you.
Let me re-iterate that just because you have sex on date two doesn't mean you're spending 10 or 15 hours to get to sex like a beta male. A one-hour first date and a two or three-hour second date is all you need. I say this because there are still some Thrill of the Hunt PUA guys out there who think having sex on the second date "isn't game" or something. You can still have very fast sex while avoiding potential FRA.
2. Dial back the "player" vibe by about 15%. Being too much "player" is still a huge problem with a large number of guys and I get emails about this constantly. I've already talked about this in detail here. If your vibe and EFA are 100% player, an FRA is more likely. As always, the ideal combination for fast sex with minimal drama and high odds of ongoing relationships is 85% player, 15% provider/nice guy. Not 100% player.
3. Don't do ONSs. ONS is a One Night Stand. This means you have sex with her one time then she never sees you again. It should go without saying that going around and doing this often raises the odds of a FRA.
I have never ONSed a woman in my entire life. Every woman I have sex with, and yes I mean every one of them, I want to be having sex with (theoretically) for the rest of my life, at least in an off-and-on capacity as an FB or MLTR. So I don't do ONSs. I've certainly had a few women ONS me (women pump and dump Alpha Males all the time, particularly women cheating on boyfriends or husbands), but I've never ONSed a woman. I don't see the point. If she's hot and I enjoyed the sex, why would I not have sex with her again?
But that's me. If you're a Thrill of the Hunt guy, you probably love ONSs and prefer them. So once again, I have no easy answers for you, other than to have sex with her another one or two times and then move on. I don't do this but this might work for you.
Once you're dating her and she's a regular presence in your life, then have all the drunk sex you want; that's perfectly fine. But when having sex with her the first time? Make sure she's sober. I personally would rather get shot down by a sober woman than have sex with a tipsy woman and get an FRA the next morning.
5. Contact her quickly the next day or morning after the sex. Be nice. There is an irrational, biological fear women have of men leaving them right after first-time sex. This fear is at its highest point the morning after she has sex with a new man.
To allay this fear, send her a very nice text the very next morning after you hook up. Take two or three minutes and be very sweet and very beta. If you plan on seeing her again, tell her right then and there, and make plans to meet up again. Make it clear to her that you do want to see her again.
I have no stats to back this up, but I'm quite convinced that the longer the time between the first-time sex, the lower the odds of an FRA. If she's confident you want to see her again, the odds of an FRA are spectacularly low.
Doing It Wrong
I'm going to get real for a minute. I've seen a lot of these FRAs in the news, and they always involve most or all of the following components:
Alcohol was involved.
The first-time sex was a single night lay and/or a one night stand.
The next day the guy doesn't contact her, or ignores her contact, or contacts her in a snarky way, or gets into an argument with her.
Guy had a 100% player vibe, or at least had a vibe utterly devoid of provider (which is quintessential college-party sex).
Basically the opposite of everything we've been talking about above. Think about it. Think back through the last several FRA cases you've heard of either in your own life and in the news. Now look at the above list and tell me at least three of the above items didn't apply. I bet they did. I can't remember a single FRA case I've ever heard of where that wasn't the case (though statistically I'm sure they exist; as always there are rare exceptions to every rule).
I think the implication in some of the MRA or manosphere is that women are stupid, evil bitches looking to throw guys in jail and trying to rope guys into situations where they can falsely accuse rape. That's a huge oversimplification and is usually untrue.
What is going on is that men are not realizing that the era of sex without consequences is long gone and that this isn't the 1970s any more. In our current left-leaning, politically correct, social justice society, you can't just hook up with a drunk girl at a party without incurring at least some risk. Most guys, particularly younger guys, don't realize this. These days, you really do need to stop and think before you use your cock.
Hey, I don't like it any more than you do, but that's the reality. As I've said many times on this blog, society has made its choice. You don't have to agree with it but you do have to acknowledge it and adjust accordingly or suffer the consequences (or chuck it all and move to the third world).
Fortunately, all you need to do is adjust things a little based on the five techniques I listed above, none of which are difficult to do. Then you can have fast sex with all the women you like and you'll never have a problem.
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Brian 2015-01-22 06:11:09
Most FRA's aren't even remotely close to having sufficient evidence to manage actual criminal charges, and are only a threat to your continued presence at the university. But it would seem that one easy solution to the bulk of the risk of a FRA is to stick to hooking up with girls who do not attend your college.
George 2015-01-22 09:01:25
Exactly. I've exclusively fucked townies and never regretted it.
Obeyx 2015-01-22 10:11:33
Great post, got expelled from college 2 years ago for FRA. Same night blowjob and I went to my dorm room and didn't contact her.
Obeyx 2015-01-22 10:12:07
Sucked so badly but it is what is, my record is still clean
Blackdragon 2015-01-22 10:31:23
Great post, got expelled from college 2 years ago for FRA. Same night blowjob and I went to my dorm room and didn’t contact her.And there you go!
Jack Outside the Box 2015-01-22 15:16:09
@Brian: Even if you only sleep with townies, you still can't do it on your campus. The college can still kick you out if you "raped" a woman in the dorm. And girls who do go to your college aren't safe to fuck anywhere. @BD: How about telling guys to avoid conservative girls with slut shaming social circles? The more conservative she is, the higher the risk of an FRA. By contrast, sexually open minded free spirits are pretty much immune to slut shaming and revel in their own sexuality without embarrassment.
smith 2015-01-22 17:22:52
I was looking forward to a post like this one, thank you.
smith 2015-01-22 17:23:46
Also, obtaining direct verbal consent rather than assuming it indirectly is key. "do you want to feel my cock inside you"".
Blackdragon 2015-01-22 18:29:39
How about telling guys to avoid conservative girls with slut shaming social circles? The more conservative she is, the higher the risk of an FRA. By contrast, sexually open minded free spirits are pretty much immune to slut shaming and revel in their own sexuality without embarrassment.1. Most sexually conservative women aren't going to have sex with you quickly in the first place. You can't get an FRA if you don't have sex (usually!). 2. I disagree that more sexual women are less likely to get pissed and throw an FRA at you after sex. I think most women, particularly college women, who attack men with FRAs are indeed very sexual and have had sex with plenty of dudes. Your point about having a slut shaming social circle is valid though. The problem is I don't know how a man could reliably determine that pre-sex (without spending a bazillion dates with her pre-sex that is).
smith 2015-01-23 04:52:34
What do you think about the legal power or simply enhanced credibility in court of logged text and sext messages.
Blackdragon 2015-01-23 12:57:29
What do you think about the legal power or simply enhanced credibility in court of logged text and sext messages.My understanding is that they can help in a legal situation. The problem is if you're already in court, you've already suffered the damage of an FRA. The goal is to not get an FRA in the first place. Some guys might think "Well, if I have these sexual texts from her then she won't give me an FRA since she knows I have them in my phone." Perhaps, but I think the type of woman who is irrational enough to actually do an FRA in the first place isn't going to be rational enough to think that through.
Cruiser 2015-01-24 04:34:50
I don't like to do it because I think I'm too cool, but I think #5 is very important.
Kryptokate 2015-01-24 14:18:52
Good advice. Basically the thread through all of these tips is to not do anything that might sexually humiliate a girl. I think the genesis of virtually all FRAs is an emotionally unstable girl who feels she's been sexually humiliated and disrespected and therefore wants to "punish" the guy. In her mind it's probably some form of justice. If you never give a girl a reason to feel she needs to get vengeance, there's no risk of FRA. Sending nice texts afterwards would be the most important of all the advice. It's really no skin off your back because you don't have to actually follow through with anything if you don't want to. But sending a few sweet messages to show that (1) you enjoyed yourself, and (2) you still respect her and think she's a cool girl, is incredibly easy to do and will neutralize any next-day shame/regret/humiliation she might otherwise feel. This would be especially important if the sex was at all rough/degrading...not bothering to text to show you respect and like her after that would be incredibly stupid. Again, even if you don't mean what you say it's really no skin off your back and the easiest single way to avoid any crazy post-ONS behavior from a girl. As long as she feels secure that you like her, respect her, and aren't going to damage her reputation by talking shit or spreading rumors about her, no girl should have a reason to want to get revenge against you. The slut-shaming social circle issue is key. Basically you just need to make sure that her ASD stays calm AFTER the fact as well as before.
Bill 2015-07-08 20:40:10
Good points but I think dating college women or any women under ANY circumstances is too risky due to the risk of flase rape accusations. . The point is that casual sex any time can get you charged with rape. Guess who the Jury will believe. The woman. Let's say the Jury has 6 women and 6 men. The women have already decided that you are guilty. The men don't know you; men have little or no empathy for other men; the men on any jury are either married and have been doing what their wives wanted forever OR; they are single and just want to get the deliberations over with. Men will go along with women just to get this trial over with and get back to their jobs. In every case men will side with the women and send you to prison. Good luck guys.
Blackdragon 2015-07-08 22:02:11
I think dating college women or any women under ANY circumstances is too risky due to the risk of flase rape accusationsAlright then. Have fun going without sex for the rest of your life.