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A New Phase
-By Caleb Jones
I knew that eventually this day would come and I've been preparing for it.
Now that it's happened, it's presenting some interesting scenarios.
I don't talk much about my personal life on here. This post probably won't apply to 95% of you, since it's unlikely you'll ever be a public figure, nor want to be. But today I thought I would relay something interesting that's happened in my life. If may be helpful if you have, or want to ever have, an information-based business.
A few weeks back I was on a second date at one of my usual nice bars with a very attractive young woman. As I usually do, I steered the conversation towards sex and dating. And as usual, she was only too excited to talk about sex. (Women love talking about sex.)
As usual, to strengthen my open/poly EFA I mentioned something about how I "date a lot" and have "been around the block" when it came to women and dating. She responded by saying, "Well, yeah. Isn't that one of your businesses?"
I was confused for a minute. On the first date I mentioned I ran three small businesses out of my house, but I didn't remember describing to her exactly what these businesses were.
"Yeah," she continued, "Isn't that one of the things you do? Show guys how to date women? I Googled you. You do a lot of different things and have a lot of web sites, but one of them was about dating women or something."
"Yep," I said with a smile, "That one is actually my fastest-growing business." She shrugged and we just kept talking about something else.
Sure enough, she had found my business blog and my personal blog and this blog. We still ended up having sex, so it wasn't a problem. Regardless, the day has finally come where women are able to Google me prior to a first (or second) date and figure out pretty quickly that I'm Blackdragon, or at least sell a book about Alpha Males that includes as one of the topics, "getting better with women."
I have never once lost a woman when I told them that one of my businesses was about teaching guys about women and sex. I show most of my MLTRs my BD web sites and not once have I received a negative reaction. I'm mean that; not once. The response is usually just a shrug. Contrary to what a lot of men in the seduction community seem to think, most women really don't give a shit about what you do for a living.
Regardless, I have now crossed over into a different world where I am no longer anonymous to women I meet. My main book was published under my real name, and over time I will be slowly be merging the Blackdragon / Alpha Male 2.0 stuff with the Caleb Jones business stuff. Moreover, the book has done extremely well so far and I haven't even started marketing it yet other than announcing it on a few blog posts. My marketing plan for the book is 28 pages long and I've only executed the first few sentences.
This is all well and good and all according to my long-term business plan, a plan that stretches out to 2024. As I've said before, I started my Blackdragon business back in 2009 with a 15-year time horizon. Everything I do in my business life, and I mean everything, is a part of a longer-term structure. I play to win, which means I play the long game.
What's interesting is that I have no idea how this will affect my dating life / love life. Will it reduce my online dating response rates? Damage my success with first or second dates? Will it force me to start doing daygame again? Will it force me to stop sarging altogether and focus on current and returning FBs and MLTRs?
Or could it it go the other way? Could it improve my results with women? Will this stuff DHV me and cause me to work less hard and get better results? Or will it just increase the amount of gold-diggers or fame-seekers I have to deal with and remove?
Honestly, I really have no idea. On the business side, things are going exactly according to plan and I'm very good at predicting future results there, but on the woman side, I'm in uncharted waters. I really have no idea what will happen. I'm not accustomed to not knowing what will happen. It's a very interesting feeling.
Behind the scenes, I have spoken to a few other manosphere personalities about this. Most bigger-name manosphere bloggers choose to remain anonymous (which I think is a very big mistake, but that's a conversation for another time), but the few who operate under their real names don't seem to have noticed a very big difference in their results with women. Then again, most of these guys are Thrill of the Hunt guys who focus on one night stands or similar. A few historical guys like Mystery, Style, and DeAngelo weren't affected by everyone knowing who they were, but these guys always leaned strongly towards serial monogamy.
None of that applies to me. I don't do one night stands and I don't do absolute monogamy. I do long-term, nonmonogamous relationships. With the possible exception of Johnny Soporno, none of these bigger name manosphere men are open/poly guys like me. They either focus on having brief sex with tons of women, or they go monogamous, leap-frogging from one girlfriend to the next every few years. I'm pretty unique in the industry.
I'm not super concerned. Again, years ago I planned on this day arriving anyway. My current needs and long-term goals with the woman side of my life is completely unchanged. I will continue to have FBs when needed, and keep things to just one MLTR, perhaps two if I have trouble with the first one. My eventual goal is take one special MLTR who has proven low-drama traits over an extended period and move her in with me under an OLTR or worst case, an OLTR marriage. As always, I'm in no rush for this, but it will happen at some point, especially considering how old I'm getting. And of course I'll keep all of you updated along the way. (I may have to protect her privacy though; a lot of it depends on how public she chooses to be.)
To answer the question I know I'll get: no, I currently do not have any women in my life who I consider true candidates for OLTR, which is unusual for me. I do have two women who I think are extraordinary and who may make the grade, but they're both new enough where I'm not sure yet. OLTR qualification takes time, and of course she needs to want that too. If neither of them work out, no problem, I'll just get some more until I find a really one. I enjoy pair-bonding with one special woman. At the same time, I live a really good life so I'm in no rush to change it.
Interesting times ahead.
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Glenn Pearce 2015-02-26 06:56:51
Hey Black... I've had this dilemma come up for me personally many times. Women have found my blog or website. My content could be pretty extreme at times and the reactions I've received are anywhere from, "I think it's great what you;re doing" to "You're a pig and I don't trust you". With that being said, I've never to my knowledge lost a woman regardless of what they've read. I think there's comes a deep mystery for the woman to find out more about us and who we really are. Their curiosity goes through the roof. It also presents them with a challenge that they seem to find rather exhilarating. The one thing that many of these women have in common is their desire to tie me down all to themselves and if I date them for an extended period of time a certain amount of jealousy arises despite the fact that they know exactly what they're getting themselves into with me. After all, they can read about the different girls I'm seeing while I'm spending time with them. It takes a mentally strong woman to truly be Ok with our lifestyle.
Blackdragon 2015-02-26 10:28:10
I’ve never to my knowledge lost a woman regardless of what they’ve read.Neither have I. Isn't that interesting? I run into lots of guys who are absolutely terrified that someone in their personal life might read something they write in a comment on a manosphere blog or forum and "find out it's them!!!". And yet here we are writing hundreds of articles for years and years and not one woman turns us down because of it. Pretty funny.
It takes a mentally strong woman to truly be Ok with our lifestyle.Agree, but I would change that to "mentally strong with minimal societal programming." If she's mentally strong with lots of Disney, she'll be just as pissed as a mentally weak woman, if not more so. Goes back to the TRULY "independent" woman I've described before.
JJ Roberts 2015-02-26 15:42:29
Hey Caleb One of my students actually referred me to this blog for the reasons that you state. Guys like us are quite rare in that we do multiple relationships at the same time without lying or cheating or jealousy / possessiveness. I don't self identify as manosphere nor as open/poly for reasons that become clear when you read my stuff. I don't think Johnny does either and I have met and interviewed him in the past. Anyway, I teach guys how to do exactly what you describe. I call them ULTRAs. Unfenced Long Term RelAtionships. Anyway, just thought I would say hi. I am sure we have a lot in common in terms of the way that we think and the way that we related to women.
JJ Roberts 2015-02-26 15:45:41
PS I have had women google me and realise who I am and it did not stop them from having sex with me either. Not really surprising as I teach guys to be honest.
Finnegan Von Kleinienschlaffel 2015-02-26 15:57:50
Surprised it didnt happen sooner - part of me thought Caleb Jones was a nym. Your stuff is more practical, and less controversial, though,, compared to most others in the manosphere, so I dont think it would be much of an issue
Blackdragon 2015-02-26 16:20:31
I don’t self identify as manosphere nor as open/poly for reasons that become clear when you read my stuff. I don’t think Johnny does either and I have met and interviewed him in the past.Yeah, you're probably right in that Johnny would reject the manosphere label. Yet you, me, and him are still under that umbrella to some degree whether we want it or not. There's pros and cons to self-identifying as "manosphere." The advantage is that it gets the word out much faster, and to more men who are at least somewhat receptive to it. The downside is, as you and Finnegan implied, is that I will often have drive-by haters (usually women or MGTOWs) who glance at my web site for about 10 seconds and immediately assume that I'm a bitter, angry, right-wing Roosh/Heartiste clone. "You PUA / manosphere guys hate women raaaaa!" No, some manosphere guys do, some don't. I'm in the don't category, but granted sometimes the manosphere label makes getting this across difficult.
part of me thought Caleb Jones was a nymHaha. No, Blackdragon or BD is the nym. I was just lucky enough to be born with a very pop-culture-sounding real name. 🙂 I have one other nym that I only use on the nerdy sites I contribute to; nothing to do with any of my other stuff. I'll keep that to myself though.
compared to most others in the manosphere, so I dont think it would be much of an issueYep. For example, I have a small but very supportive and enthusiastic female readership. This would probably horrify some other manosphere dudes.
JJ Roberts 2015-02-27 03:52:41
You should check out the Sex 3.0 stuff I teach. I think you might relate to being 3.0 more than poly/open I will swap you a free copy of the book Sex 3.0 for a copy of Alpha Male 2.0 if you like.
POB 2015-02-27 08:02:48
"but on the woman side, I’m in uncharted waters. I really have no idea what will happen." Man, think on the bright side...you're 16 again LOL.
JJ Manners 2015-02-27 15:53:25
I'm mgtow and I enjoy reading your stuff. Mgtow does not mean we don't have sex with women or hate them. We're just aware of the true nature of women and we act accordingly.
Blackdragon 2015-02-27 16:13:00
I will swap you a free copy of the book Sex 3.0 for a copy of Alpha Male 2.0 if you like.Sure. Email me.
I’m mgtow and I enjoy reading your stuff.Because you actually read my stuff. I have a feeling most MGTOW haters I have are guys who haven't read my stuff beyond a few headlines, quick glances, and things other bloggers say about me. I think once a MGTOW actually calms down and reads my stuff, they realize I'm one of them (just one who likes to have sex with women).
Jean 2015-02-28 02:43:30
Hey BD. What should one do if a woman gives him a positive pregnancy test and tells him he is the father? Ask for a paternity test, walk away,....how should someone who doesn't want to have kids react, in your opinion? Of course, one should take precautions to make sure that doesn't happens but if it happens, what should be done?
JJ Manners 2015-02-28 03:28:25
Actually you are MGTOW! You reject traditional forms of relationships and you are aware the system is set up against men. You know very well how women think and behave. I even share some of your best posts on MGTOW forums. I really believe your stuff is worth reading and redpill 100%. Keep up the good work BD! Greetings from Italy
Blackdragon 2015-02-28 11:45:52
Actually you are MGTOW! You reject traditional forms of relationships and you are aware the system is set up against men.Yep! I'm essentially a pro-sex MGTOW.
What should one do if a woman gives him a positive pregnancy test and tells him he is the father?Have her take a pregnancy test that YOU get, have her take in front of you in your bathroom, verify it yourself, then if she's indeed pregnant, make it clear that you'll going to get a verified, legally-admissible paternity test as soon as the baby comes out of her. Tell her you will require this done before you pay any child support and before you put your name on the baby's birth certificate. Also offer to take her to get an abortion ASAP and that you'll happily pay for the entire thing. If she gives you any shit about any of this, end the conversation, tell her anything else she'll have to tell to your attorney, then leave. (And go get a family attorney, and hope to hell the baby isn't yours.)
Brent 2015-03-03 19:12:02
For frouck's sake, NEVER tell a woman your last name before sex, and if she INSISTS on knowing, it's a huge red flag. You were lucky to get this bang. Lol don't do this again. Give them your middle name if you have to so they don't see your blog. But again, good luck with chicks asking for your last name. CLASSIC over-33 maneuver.
Brent 2015-03-03 19:15:13
"I think once a MGTOW actually calms down and reads my stuff, they realize I’m one of them (just one who likes to have sex with women)." I think the perception is that you sugar-coat the dating scene. You're a rare MGTOW with paper-alpha cred. For the vast majority of MGTOW's leading an active sex life with different women and an active investment into dating simply isn't worth it, as they aren't in the top 20% of guys out there.
Blackdragon 2015-03-03 19:39:57
For frouck’s sake, NEVER tell a woman your last name before sexWhy not? I do it all the time. I don't care. And like I said, I've never lost out on sex because of it. Fearing this kind of thing is not a fun way to go through life.
she INSISTS on knowing, it’s a huge red flagI might agree with that. But again, I don't care.
I think the perception is that you sugar-coat the dating scene.Huh? I report the dating scene as-is, including all of its joys and very serious problems. If anyone thinks I sugar-coat this, they need to be very specific. (i.e. where exactly am I doing this and what exactly did I say?)
For the vast majority of MGTOW’s leading an active sex life with different women and an active investment into dating simply isn’t worth it, as they aren’t in the top 20% of guys out there.That's fair. Every guy needs to decide how much time and effort he wants to put into the woman side of his life. The only disagreement I have with the more extreme MGTOW advice is when they say "BOYCOTT WOMEN COMPLETELY AND NEVER HAVE SEX EVER!" That might sound like a logical solution on paper, it's not real-world realistic. Men like, and need, sex. At least sometimes.
Tony D 2015-03-23 15:45:29
Yeah BD, you've been at this for awhile. It is only a matter of time before you outrage a blogger and they make you small famous for awhile. I've been public about teaching for a few years now, and it hasn't really cost me a relationship yet. It does cause complications because a lot of my writing comes from the oldschool frat house pua style philosophy, which is very exclusive to women. I'm changing with the times, and I'm sure you are. Best of luck.
o 2015-05-02 23:23:00
Comment deleted for violation of Rule Number 5.