Get Free Email Updates!
Join us for FREE to get instant email updates!
How to Completely Screw Up a First Date
-By Caleb Jones
The man she describes pretty much goes down the entire list of everything I talk about regarding first dates and does the exact opposite. I realize we're only getting the feminine side of the story here, and she might be exaggerating some of the details. Granted. However, I'm still going to cover all of these mistakes since this woman is not describing an outlier and she's not describing some unusual asshole. Just about everything she's describing is extremely common with guys on dates, both with beta males and some low-game Alpha Male 1.0s.
The guy starts out with what is probably a fantastic photo on Tinder and some very solid online game. But once the real-life date begins, it's a complete fail.
1. He doesn't greet her nicely or warmly. Just stares at her and puts up his hand for a high-five.
Greet her warmly. Say hi. Smile. Give her a hug if you're the huggy type. BE NICE. It's not that hard. Remember, she's probably nervous, and a nervous woman is not going to have sex with you. On a date, your job is to get her relaxed as quickly as possible.
2. He stays talking on his phone for too long.
I can't believe I have to say this, but gentlemen, when you're on a date and she walks in, get the fuck off your phone. I'm not saying you have to instantly hang up as soon as she sits down next to you. Just politely wrap up your phone call and end it as fast as you can. "Fuck you, BD! It might be an important business call! I'm not going to shortchange that just for some chick." I understand. I'm busy too. I run three businesses. But do you want to do business on your date or do you want to have sex with this girl? Choose one, because you don't get both.
3. He disparages a large group of people.
He immediately starts off by insulting "poor people." I have talked before about how, on a first date, you need to keep your political opinions to yourself. I would bet he lost the opportunity to have sex with her right then and there, regardless of his continued screw-ups.
4. He talks way too much.
And there it is, the most common mistake men make by far. If you've been reading this blog you know that you need to SHUT UP on first dates and make sure she does at least 80% of the talking. But like most guys on dates, he just can't control his big dumb mouth.
5. He talks about himself.
Not only should she be doing most of the talking, the conversation should be about her, not you. If you want to talk about you, wait until after you've had sex with her twice. Then she'll enjoy talking about you. But not on a first date pre-sex.
6. He brags.
Having a slightly arrogant attitude is okay, perhaps even a plus. DHVing a little on a date is also okay. But bragging is not. You know the difference.
7. He doesn't ask her any questions.
It goes back to the SHUT UP thing. Just about everything you say on a first date should be asking her questions, in order to keep her talking. The more she talks, the higher your odds of getting to sex. If you're talking and not asking questions, that means she won't be talking much. Bad.
8. He orders her around (in a very uncalibrated way).
This is an interesting one. Being strong and dominant on a date is a good thing. Often when I arrive at a date, I will walk over to where she's sitting and say, "Let's sit over here," then lead her over to another part of the bar and sit her down. I'm being strong and dominant, but also polite. Also, I am leading her in something we're doing together.
Compare that to when he commands her to "go get him a beer," like they're married and she's a submissive, barefoot wife. Jesus, folks. Remember that at least 60% of today's women are dominants, not submissives or independents (though an independent isn't going to like being bossed around either). I don't care how tough you are or how strong your game is; bossing a woman around like that on a first (or second or third) date is going to backfire. Even if she's more submissive she might obey you, but then you'll never hear from her again afterwards.
9. He keeps buying her drinks when she didn't even finish her first one or ask for more.
First off, you want to keep your first date costs low. Not gonna happen if you keep buying her drinks. Secondly, if you keep buying her drinks like that, it's going to raise her defenses and spike ASD upwards (which is exactly what happened in her case).
10. After doing everything wrong, he finally starts running a little game, but it's way too late and very out of place.
Eventually he started negging her a little, ran some Alpha Male 1.0 game, asked her some questions, and tried to bounce her to another location. However, all of it was extremely clumsy, horribly out of place, way too late, and just pissed her off even more.
11. He insults her when she doesn't want to leave with him.
Hopefully I don't have to explain why this is a bad idea. And by the way, getting frustrated when a woman doesn't go along with your program shows massive outcome dependence.
12. He just gets up and leaves her at the bar.
Again, clearly a bad idea.
13. He goes full-stalker and waits for her outside of the bar, bugs her again, then texts her non-stop for the next 48 hours.
Massive, massive outcome dependence and neediness, which results in a massive turn-off for the woman (as if at that point there was anything he could have done to salvage things, which there was not). So many guys do this, including men who should know better.
You know what's sad about this? He could have had sex with her if he had just relaxed a little. Clearly she thought he was good-looking, and he was successful, had money, and was a strong, confident, masculine man. He was 95% there! But because he let his egocentric, outcome dependent, Alpha Male 1.0 tendencies to run wild, he completely screwed it up.
Why I Hate Men Who Do This
Listen to me very carefully. Every time you do something like this to a woman on a first date, it makes it harder for all of us other men to get laid.
Read that again.
Every time you try to have sex with a woman on a second date and she resists, every time you pitch a date to a woman you meet online and she resists, every time you try to schedule a first or second date and she resists, it's likely because she's been on other dates with assholes like this guy who made one or more of the above mistakes.
If you do first dates incorrectly, you're screwing up MY sex life, and those of other Alphas. Yes, that's right. You are.
So STOP IT. If you want to be a prick, be a prick to everyone you like, but don't be a prick to women on first or second dates! If you value the brotherhood or the secret society or whatever, then for the love of god, please date women correctly. Every time you piss off a woman you make it that much more difficult for the next guy she meets. And that next guy could be me or one of the readers of this blog.
This was true of the woman in the above video. She tried Tinder, went on this one date, it was horrible, so she immediately deleted her Tinder account and ran way.
She's hot. I don't know what city she lives in, but one of you could have had sex with her by meeting her on Tinder and dating her correctly. But no, because of that one dickhead, she's now completely unavailable to you if you use Tinder, and likely other dating sites like OKC or POF.
"So what?" you ask, "She's just one girl. Who gives a shit?" Because of this: multiply her by millions of women all over the western world, leaving all the online dating apps/sites, or worse, staying on them but ramping up their standards and ASD into the stratosphere, making it all harder for the rest of us.
That's why stories like these piss me off.
Date women right. You'll get laid, make women happy, reduce the time, effort, and money to get to sex, and you won't screw it up for the next guy. Win / win / win.
Want over 35 hours of how-to podcasts on how to improve your woman life and financial life? Want to be able to coach with me twice a month? Want access to hours of technique-based video and audio? The SMIC Program is a monthly podcast and coaching program where you get access to massive amounts of exclusive, members-only Alpha 2.0 content as soon as you sign up, and you can cancel whenever you want. Click here for the details.
Get Free Email Updates!
Join us for FREE to get instant email updates!
FO 2015-03-29 05:40:14
Having her talk for 80% of the time seems like a very tough task. Won't most women try and get you to speak about yourself and what not? If you avoid or ignore talking about yourself won't that raise a redflag for her?
ricerocket 2015-03-29 05:59:30
FO: most woman love to talk about themselves, and it's not that hard to keep them going. They will ask you questions, and you stick with short replies, and redirect back to her. Outside of the occasional woman that just won't talk for long, this is not hard. 20 percent for you, is still enough time to get across who you are to her, and keep her interest. For example, on a first date last night, and at one point she half jokingly says, "Let's talk more about you, I am doing most of the talking!" And I laughed, and said of course, anything you want to know, then make sure she does 80 percent of the talking still. Just like this video, talking more raises her red flags.
ruzz 2015-03-29 05:59:38
Sounds like the zealous over-correction of a recent convert. Probably spent the day memorizing stuff meant for omegas. Been there, ha. Personally I think a date should be much closer to the vacation end of the activity spectrum, a leisurely time to be enjoyed and shared with a rough itinerary in case you need it, but very much open for whimsy following. Not an mma match with set goals and objectives and keeping shields up and feints and all that jazz. That's the magic of the Next. Plenty of game tricks work, but can be screwed up or even if they do go well you end up importing girls with much higher drama levels into your life; and the precedent of drama is then there from the very beginning, moreover you have yet another thing in your life to balance and account for. "I don't know what it is about you, I'm a total bitch to everyone else." I hear that often, and I've seen enough vitriolic outgoing ordnance from girls who hadn't so much as batted a snarky eyelash at me to believe it. I've also been on the wrong side of that, and it is very much true that most drama is at the root the guys fault.
Ralph 2015-03-29 06:00:16
Is this strategy also applicable in other cultures such as in mediterranean Europe? I following your blog and bought your book and I'm from Spain. I'm wondering if all you preach would be applicable also here.
Blackdragon 2015-03-29 11:57:52
Having her talk for 80% of the time seems like a very tough task.It's not, because women love to talk.
Won’t most women try and get you to speak about yourself and what not?No, most will not. The number of first dates I've been on go well into the triple digits, and it's not typical that a woman will push you hard for info on yourself. Yes, they'll ask sometimes. If they ask, answer, and answer honestly, but don't keep running your mouth. Answer briefly and honestly, then re-direct back to her with another question.
20 percent for you, is still enough time to get across who you are to her, and keep her interest.Exactly. That's why I don't say 100% of the talking should be from her. Just 80%.
Just like this video, talking more raises her red flags.Correct again. The more you talk, the higher your odds of saying something she doesn't like, and as I've explained before, if you say something she doesn't like, you're out...EVEN if she was legitimately attracted to you before you said it. Men vastly underestimate how irrationally picky women are during a first-date scenario.
Is this strategy also applicable in other cultures such as in mediterranean Europe? I following your blog and bought your book and I’m from Spain. I’m wondering if all you preach would be applicable also here.I can only speak anecdotally and with educated guesswork to those kinds of questions. Most of what I talk about is directly applicable in Europe, but not all of it.
tim 2015-03-29 13:55:35
I agree. Dickheads like her "date" have now fucked it up for any other guy that may try to meet her online. She is hot, and seems like a nice girl. But nice girls are DTF too. Damn shame.
JJ Manners 2015-03-29 15:20:51
Keep it light, keep it funny, no heavy subjects, no putdowns.
Jack Outside the Box 2015-03-29 16:02:05
Did she just say that a man needs to "treat you like a queen from day 1?" What a cunt! I hope she meets more assholes who will knock that crown off her head!
The Private Man 2015-03-29 17:02:33
Actually, that guy did it right. Think about it, cupcake remembered every single thing about that date. The vast majority of guys have completely unremarkable and forgettable dates. There aren't many youtubes about such forgettable dates. As for cupcake, what does SHE offer man that he wants?
John 2015-03-29 17:50:03
Its all true what BD says. Most women, when they ask you a question, they seem like they want you to talk. Thats not true. They are just being polite because they feel that by doing all the talking they may be rude and turn you off. If a woman asks you something, be short, polite, answer then steer the conversation back to her so she talks more. It is not hard to be polite to a woman. I used to do many of these things, until I wised up. I tried BDs approch, and guess what? It works. I also say don't buy woman a drink. Many of the women I know don't like it when you buy them to many drinks, because it raises red flags, and makes them think your trying to get them drunk so you can have sex with them easier. DO NOT BUY DRINKS!
buzz 2015-03-30 02:26:02
This woman is a professional dating coach for women yes BD could have handled her but for most guys the jerk routine would have been their only chance. She would crush and stomp a nice guy. Taylor Swift is for teenage women something strange there this is her target market for customers not her taste in music. She is displaying the wrath of a woman scorned, she wanted some guy and he did not want her and she is pissed but she changed the details of the story. She has a strong belief that women who have sex without collecting some stuff first have low self esteem and now she is trying to poison women's attitudes. Actually I think I would just run!!!
Jon 2015-03-30 09:10:54
As for cupcake, what does SHE offer man that he wants.Um...she's hot. Any other questions? 😛
Blackdragon 2015-03-30 10:12:00
I agree. Dickheads like her “date” have now fucked it up for any other guy that may try to meet her online. She is hot, and seems like a nice girl. But nice girls are DTF too. Damn shame.That's just standard feminine Societal Programming. I just ignore it.
Actually, that guy did it right.No, he did it wrong. He didn't get laid when he could have.
As for cupcake, what does SHE offer man that he wants?Sex.
Most women, when they ask you a question, they seem like they want you to talk. Thats not true. They are just being polite because they feel that by doing all the talking they may be rude and turn you off.That is exactly right. There are some times where they are legitimately interested, but about 70-80% of the time they're just being polite.
I also say don’t buy woman a drink. Many of the women I know don’t like it when you buy them to many drinks, because it raises red flags, and makes them think your trying to get them drunk so you can have sex with them easier. DO NOT BUY DRINKS!The technique that works for me is to ask, "Do you want something to drink?" If she says no, and often they will, then I don't order anything, or perhaps get a water or nonalcoholic drink for me if the venue "requires" that you order something. If she says yes, then I'll get her ONE DRINK, JUST ONE, and that's it. That works great.
yes BD could have handled her but for most guys the jerk routine would have been their only chance.Yes, being a beta would probably not have worked on a woman like this, but the jerk routine would also not work with her. As I've talked about before, the best place is between nice guy and jerk, not one or the other. There are a lot of guys who read this blog who could have easily closed the deal. She is not a lost cause my any means. (At least until she turns 33.)
she wanted some guy and he did not want her and she is pissed but she changed the details of the story.I don't believe that. As I said in the post, I'm sure she's exaggerating some of the details, but I also believe he really was an asshole and screwed it up, when he could have closed the deal.
She has a strong belief that women who have sex without collecting some stuff first have low self esteem and now she is trying to poison women’s attitudes.Now THAT is true. Even though she's probably under 33, she has the over-33 "I'm a lady" attitude that a man must jump through a bunch of hoops before he is "rewarded" with her "amazing" sex. That being said though, the guy still could have closed the deal without spending too much money. I have sex with women just like this (under 33) all the time, very quickly, spending little or no money. It can be done if you do it correctly.
Rye 2015-03-30 11:06:01
Regarding letter her talk 80% of the time, what if she's not talking? Shouldn't that ratio should be adjusted to the specific circumstances of the woman, place, mood, etc. A guy should always have something to talk about if necessary, and if he can't talk without saying something to turn her off, then his being quiet is just delaying the inevitable. I guess he could possibly get laid once before that happens. I see guys who will talk their buddies' ears off but become overly quiet trying to play it cool with the ladies. Often they get bored.
Bulma78 2015-03-30 11:40:29
I’m kinda new here (a girl), been reading alot, and have been learning a lot – after reading many of the topics, I feel like I can finally exhale. About this topic - when I think about it, it is a little puzzling why a girl would even go on a first date with a guy if she had no intention of sleeping with him after a few dates? I figured she would have decided whether or not she would want to sleep with him prior to meeting him; just based on seeing his pictures on Tinder (as long as his pictures were real) and maybe a few text/phone conversations beforehand to get a sense of his personality. I remember reading something that was posted here once before: that if a woman is doing online dating, then it means she is looking for guys to sleep with! I completely agree with that statement! (unless she’s only on there looking for attention) Maybe this is weird or unusual, but when I see a guy's pictures on an online dating site, I'm already deciding right then if I would or wouldn't want to sleep with him. You know within a few minutes. If the answer is no, then why would I even want to go on a first date with him? I know I don't have alot of experience with that because I've only met two guys from online dating, but I've slept with both of them because I knew I already liked them and wanted to prior to meeting them in real life. It doesn't make sense to me to even go through with meeting someone if you know you wouldn’t. I'm sure guys decide right away based on pictures right? I think the reason is because most other girls just want to go on A LOT dates for fun, for the many reasons mentioned in other posts in this blog: they just like the attention/excitement, want a free meal, etc. Now granted, I’ve only met 2 guys so far. One ended up being a relationship but ended after 3 months, the other person I'm still seeing but we aren't exclusive. I guess I was choosey beforehand with who I agreed to meet and I slept with both of those guys. I didn’t talk to, let alone agree to meet many of the guys that contacted me just so I could have the fun experience of going on many first dates. It’s not right. (Maybe being choosey like that is just as bad though?) Also, I expect guys to say some stuff that I wouldn't like or agree with, only because I know that not everyone can be my identical twin; it's just a given and no big deal in the grand scheme of things to me at least. I guess they’d have to say something really bad though in order to change my mind.
Duke 2015-03-30 14:02:15
I'm curious about your rule about having a limit of buying only one drink during the hour long first date. How would one handle the situation if she tries to order another drink long before the hour is up? Can't imagine you "warning" her that she is responsible for that drink. Maybe tell the waiter to split it off when the bill comes? Hard to pull off without coming off as cheap though.
Blackdragon 2015-03-30 15:35:13
Regarding letter her talk 80% of the time, what if she’s not talking?About 1 or 2 dates out of 10, you'll encounter a woman who's unusually quiet. In that case, yes, you'll have to do a little more talking. But again, this is the exception to the rule.
Shouldn’t that ratio should be adjusted to the specific circumstances of the woman, place, mood, etc.No, it should not, because if guys let themselves "adjust," they'll talk too much and blow the lay. GUYS TALK TOO MUCH, and if you give them an out, they'll take it and run their mouths into oblivion. Her talking 80% of the time should always be the objective. And if you encounter an unusually quiet one, which is rare, then okay, you can talk a little more in that isolated, unusual case. The woman, place, mood, whatever is all irrelevant.
it is a little puzzling why a girl would even go on a first date with a guy if she had no intention of sleeping with him after a few dates?Nope. Women love attention, validation, and free drinks and dinners even if it never leads to sex. If women were messaging me online to buy me a nice dinner and kiss my ass but not necessarily have sex with me, I'd take them up on it too. It's pretty neat being a woman (in that respect anyway). And again, I'm convinced this woman in the video DID want to (possibly) have sex with this guy based on his Tinder photo. The only reason she didn't is because he fucked it up, which is my entire point.
when I see a guy’s pictures on an online dating site, I’m already deciding right then if I would or wouldn’t want to sleep with him. You know within a few minutes.I know. 🙂
I guess they’d have to say something really bad though in order to change my mind.The problem is that "really bad" could be literally anything on any topic that you happen to have a strong opinion about, and we can't read your mind and know what you, in particular, happen to consider to be "really bad." It could be literally anything! Example. I once lost out on a woman, who was really, really attracted to me, because I mentioned that the odds of getting AIDS from unprotected sex were extremely low among non-gay suburban Americans. I did make it clear that you could get other stuff, like Chlamydia and Herpes, but you probably wouldn't get AIDS, and that doctors (behind closed doors anyway) would tell you the same thing. To 95% of the population, this statement would be no big deal at all. But, although I didn't know it at the time, she just happened to have bunch of close gay guy friends, one of whom died from AIDS. So to her, that statement was "really bad." Boom, she immediately turned off and I never saw her again. BECAUSE I TALKED TOO MUCH. I was stupid. I should have kept my big dumb mouth shut, and I would have been IN. (Literally.) Every woman, even you, has her own set of sensitive hot buttons, and as a woman, you're going to have more of them than a man will. The more a man talks, the more he's going to set one of those off, and you won't have sex with them.
How would one handle the situation if she tries to order another drink long before the hour is up?If SHE asks for another drink AND it's clear she really wants it AND the date is going really well (i.e. I'm getting good body language, eye contact, and other indicators of interest), then fine, I'll get her ONE more. However! Like with the "quiet woman who doesn't talk," this is an exception to the rule. The vast majority of women, even the younger ones, are very concerned on first dates to not look like alcoholics or moochers. You guys really need to stop worrying about the exceptions to the rule. What I'm talking about works the vast, vast majority of the time.
Maybe tell the waiter to split it off when the bill comes?NO! Don't split the bill. I (and other men) have lost out on sex doing that too. Pay the 18 bucks and get laid.
tim 2015-03-30 15:49:43
After watching this video a second time and given the fact that this hottie is a profession "life and dating coach" I cant help but wonder if she went on a few Tinder dates just so she'd have some material for her Youtube channel.
Jack Outside the Box 2015-03-30 16:05:32
@Duke: Cheap? SHE'S the one that wants free shit, not you! Dude, you need to stop tolerating gold digger behavior from women. Why do you care if you come off as "cheap?" You should be proud of that. If she refuses to fuck you, find a less traditional and more open minded woman. Those are more fun anyway.
buzz 2015-03-30 19:56:23
Watch this video about 4 times in a row and pay attention. Do happy women buy the services of a life councilor/dating coach? Do women mad at men buy the services of a life councilor/dating coach? Do women that use Tinder buy the services of a life councilor/dating coach? What is the age range of Taylor Swift fans? What is the age range of this woman's potential customers. What is the percentage of this woman's potential customers that have smart phones? What is the percentage of those smart phones that have covers? Is smart phones are not for poor people a true statement? Is smart phone covers are not for poor people a true statement? Does the statement smart phone covers are for poor people make any sense at all? In your entire life has a woman ever asked you about your smart phone cover? If you were a woman that was worried about a guy getting you drunk on a date would you go buy your own drink? If there were more than three people in the bar her/him/bartender would a woman that looks like this need to buy her own drink? Would she be able to go buy a drink and then come back to the guy that annoyed her without being approached by anybody else? Would a guy that is showing this much outcome independence then go beta and message and text her a lot afterward? How did he get her phone number? Would this story enrage most women so bad they would not even notice the whole story is made up and buy the services of a life councilor/dating coach? She is a master at marketing and she could drink you out cold....
WolfOfGeorgeStreet 2015-03-31 06:04:59
The guy has horrible game, obviously, but he's a rich, good looking, probably white, probably tall guy living in New York City, the most densely populated, most highly transient city in the western world. He was acting like this because he doesn't need to act any other way. I'm a prolific and highly respected poster on the biggest Tinder thread on the internet. I developed a bot that does all the swiping for me and also bumps my profile to the top of girls swipe queues. So I get literally hundreds of matches a day, and I run it for other guys that get the same results. One of the other posters on that thread is a wealthy, 6'4 good looking white guy living in Sydney, Australia. Where I also live. He runs a 12 girl harem of girls he met on Tinder. I've met the guy for drinks and watched his phone blow up with texts from girls while I was with him, he's legit. I have personally GPS spoofed my tinder account to NYC and run my bot. Within 15 minutes I had multiple girls willing to come directly to 'my apartment in the upper east side' for sex after just asking them, no date required. You don't need game when you have that many matches. Another method I advocate is date stacking. We'll line up several girls a night for a date at staggered times and if one doesn't work out, flakes, or I can't pull her to a hotel room within about an hour (I'm in an open marriage), I'll end the date and bring the next one in (to the same bar), rinse and repeat. If I fail entirely, well... I go home to my wife. The guy probably genuinely didn't care, he goes outside calls one of his other girls from his tinder harem. The only bit that's off is the texting after the date. If that bit is the truth then the guy was either faking his aloof assholeness or again just genuinely didn't care and was just running a hail mary. When you have that many options, women become a worthless commodity. Frankly, she seems annoying anyway. Still he needs to cool the arrogant attitude a little bit and add some 'nice guy' to the mix, because what he did will only work on the complete LSE, promiscuous girls, but then if he gets enough of those to satisfy him sexually, who cares? That's basically Tinder in a nutshell, and as for ruining for other guys? lol, I doubt he cares. You are the competition.
ricerocket 2015-03-31 09:33:55
Nope. Women love attention, validation, and free drinks and dinners even if it never leads to sex. If women were messaging me online to buy me a nice dinner and kiss my ass but not necessarily have sex with me, I’d take them up on it too. It’s pretty neat being a woman (in that respect anyway). Guys, pay attention to this! One of my FB is completely open with me, dates all the time, shows me her messages from guys chasing her, and I can only shake my head. Let me tell you a story, not to brag, but to show you what is going on with some of these women. They fawn over her, take her out to expensive dinners, wine and dine her, and wax poetically over how beautiful she is, and how much they like her and can't wait to see her. Seriously, her inbox and instant messages are full of this, literally full of it. You know what she does after getting wined and dined, and turned OFF by this? She drops a thank you to them, and then calls me up to come over and actually get laid. Honestly, she is leaving tonight for a three day trip to NYC, all expenses paid by a guy who just dotes on her, hoping to get some. Jeez, I hope she does give him some, but she is already asking to see me the night she gets back. Stop being these guys! I almost feel bad for these guys, but you got to get over this stuff. Why be the guy that gets crumbs after spending a fortune and hoping? Women know what you are after, and if they are out with you in the first place, THEY ARE INTERESTED ALREADY. They want you to lead them to the sex they want in the first place!
Blackdragon 2015-03-31 11:09:15
He was acting like this because he doesn’t need to act any other way.It's not that simple, because like you said, he was a needy pussy after the date and kept repeatedly texting her like a beta. If he was drowning in pussy because he was hot and rich asshole he would never have done this.
I’m in an open marriage...We’ll line up several girls a night for a date at staggered times and if one doesn’t work out, flakes, or I can’t pull her to a hotel room within about an hour (I’m in an open marriage), I’ll end the date and bring the next one in (to the same bar), rinse and repeat. If I fail entirely, well… I go home to my wife.I hope you other readers are paying very close attention to the absolute awesomeness your life can be when you're in an open marriage and don't surrender to monogamy. Great stuff.
They fawn over her, take her out to expensive dinners, wine and dine her, and wax poetically over how beautiful she is, and how much they like her and can’t wait to see her. Seriously, her inbox and instant messages are full of this, literally full of it. You know what she does after getting wined and dined, and turned OFF by this? She drops a thank you to them, and then calls me up to come over and actually get laid.Yep. That describes many of my FBs and MLTRs as well. Lots of stories like this. It's sad to see what most men have become.
Sparks 2015-04-01 08:41:33
Wolf of George Street, your Tinder bot idea sounds very intriguing. Do you have a contact e-mail?
WolfOfGeorgeStreet 2015-04-03 03:17:57
wolfofgeorgestreet at hotmail dot com
KC 2015-04-07 09:07:21
What is ASD? I googled it and got autism spectrum disorder.
Blackdragon 2015-04-07 15:24:27
What is ASD?Just click the first usage of the word "ASD" in the post, and it will take you right to the definition in the Glossary. All acronyms at this blog are hyperlinked for your convenience.
It-Began-In-Africa 2015-04-10 13:39:53
Awesome stuff. The chap in this story does not sound like he was actually up for this date with this attractive woman. He wasted his and her time. Not once do i hear this girl say something positive which he said or actually did for her exclusive benefit. Not even an attempt to caress her finger tips... really sad.
L 2015-09-05 14:56:11
So how do you all greet women when you first meet them on the date? This thing always gets me a bit. I'm not hugging and certainly not shaking hands. I usually start out by saying hi, and then bringing up a private (from comfort bombardment before hand) or situational joke to break the ice and go from there just asking questions, but it does make me think sometimes.
Blackdragon 2015-09-07 09:28:44
So how do you all greet women when you first meet them on the date?Just like I would a friend I've known for 10 years. Usually I just say "hey." Your joke idea is fine.
L 2015-09-08 09:36:56
Thanks! The date in question went very well. Within an hour of leaving she texted me saying thanks for a great time and that she wants to meet me again this week. Hell she even suggested as soon as 2 days later (today) but I wasn't available. I'm seeing her again in 2 days. Your first date articles helped, and can't get much better for an outcome! SHE was touching ME. And it was the 4th date of my life, and since splitting from a mono relationship, so seems I've had a good start.
Mike 2016-05-08 12:40:04
How do you end a date within one hour without making it abrupt? They come always super styled to the dates, conversations and atmosphere are good and it's kind of hard for me to stop and also track the time without being too much in my head. Do you tell them before the date that you only have one hour? What is your approach?
Anon. 2016-05-08 15:43:40
And what’s the problem with the date ending abruptly, right in the middle of her talking about something important to her, with her invested and you seemingly less so? Or would you rather have the date end when she runs out of things to say and awkward pauses ensue? If you enjoy the atmosphere, note you’ll be able to have lots of meaningful dates after the sex, and if you do it right, she’ll continue making sure she looks her best. Personally, after about an hour I just say, without even attempting to find a particularly suitable moment, “Let’s walk a bit”. We get out of the cafe, I ask in what part of the city she lives, we go towards her bus stop talking some more, and once there, I just say goodbye, hug her and walk away. Announcing a time constraint beforehand should also work just fine if that suits your personality and the image you’re projecting (the two shouldn’t differ that much).
Blackdragon 2016-05-08 22:23:23
Do you tell them before the date that you only have one hour? What is your approach?No, but sometimes I'll tell them 10 minutes before the end, like 50 minutes in. I'll look at my watch and say something like, "So I'm good for another 10 minutes or so. Good for you?" and they always say yes. Like Anon said above, it doesn't matter if it's abrupt, as long as you're polite.
Mike 2016-05-09 04:03:24
Alright, I understand. Thank you guys!
Mike 2016-05-09 07:03:17
Actually I have another question. Let's say, you are an hour into a date, everything runs like it should. You pay, you both stand up, you lead and go out of the venue. Do you then say something like "It was a nice date" or "It was nice meeting you" in order to give a little comfort? Or do you literally just give a hug and say "Bye", turn around and walk home. It would be kinda awkward, but that one would probably make her look after you. I don't want come off as a duche. Probably my inner betapussy speaking. @Anon. Do you wait with her for the bus, or do you just go in that direction as long as it is your direction home?
Brady Brady 2016-09-15 10:22:42
Isn't changing the way you talk or what you talk about for the sake of a girl your on a doubt with the definition so that you don't poss her off the definition of outcome dependence? If you've done a lot of tinder dates you know girls will be ballsy on the app/on the phone but then become quite and boring as shit once in person. Or am I wrong.
Blackdragon 2016-09-15 10:44:06
Let’s say, you are an hour into a date, everything runs like it should. You pay, you both stand up, you lead and go out of the venue. Do you then say something like “It was a nice date” or “It was nice meeting you” in order to give a little comfort?No. Way too beta.
Or do you literally just give a hug and say “Bye”, turn around and walk home. It would be kinda awkward, but that one would probably make her look after you.Yes. At a bare minimum, I could add something like, "I'll text you later."
Isn’t changing the way you talk or what you talk about for the sake of a girl your on a doubt with the definition so that you don’t poss her off the definition of outcome dependence?No. Read this.
Sue 2017-04-28 13:30:52
All of this is so intriguing. BD, you should probably create the defnition of an Authentic Alpha, vs an FA (Faux Alpha), which this guy clearly was. Cupcake's date here was a boorish, needy asshole. And to answer Private Man....uh....duh. she has sex, and CLEARLY did NOT do it right because she hated him. So he didn't just strike out, he actually worked hard enough to get her to despise him. Great job, dickhead. Guys who talk about themselves are transparent to us women. You are justing showing us all your weaknesses up front: that you are worried about what society thinks of you.
MiamiGuy 2017-12-08 13:54:49
Or do you literally just give a hug and say “Bye”, turn around and walk home. It would be kinda awkward, but that one would probably make her look after you.That is a bit too dramatic. I usually caress her hair, and tell her it was great getting to know her. Then I leave with a final command to text me when she gets home safely.