Bernie Sanders

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-By Caleb Jones

Here’s the deal on Bernie Sanders.

1. He won’t win. He’ll gain a lot of support, garner a lot of media attention (at least that which isn’t sucked up by Trump), make a big splash, then Hillary will get the nomination, just as she’s supposed to.

Don’t think so? Two words: Howard Dean. Just a few years ago Howard Dean was the darling of American left-wingers, made a huge splash, garnered a lot of support, and then got his ass kicked.

Bernie is simply the latest version of Howard Dean or Ron Paul; a sacrificial lamb to keep young people engaged just long enough to vote for the establishment corporatist candidate and keep up the illusion that America is still a democracy.

The problem is, as I’ve said over and over again and demonstrated time and again, America is not a democracy. The elites have already selected a Democrat for you to vote for. Her name is Hillary, not Bernie.

Will she win the presidency? I don’t know. American voters have become so irrational and unpredictable I can’t predict presidential winners anymore. In 2012 the incumbent president won re-election in the middle of a bad economy, something that has never happened in my entire lifetime. We tread new waters here.

My guess would be Hillary is probably going to be our next president, since she'll win the Democratic primaries and I consider it near-impossible for any Republican to win any presidential election ever again in the United States, since the vast majority of women, blacks, Hispanics, gays, young people, and a growing percentage of middle-aged and old white people simply aren’t going to ever vote Republican no matter how horrible the Democrat candidate is (coughObamacough). But that’s just a guess; I could be wrong. Again, new waters.

2. The vast majority of liberals who support Bernie because they hate Hillary are full of shit. Why? Because the vast majority of those who support Bernie will vote for and defend Hillary during the general election. Don't believe me? Just watch.

A true progressive would vote for Bernie but would never, ever vote for Hillary. But since most American left-wingers aren’t true progressives (how do you explain Obama?), most Bernie supporters will soon become Hillary supporters, no matter how badly they’re bashing Hillary at the moment. When Hillary gets the nomination, all of her crimes, warmongering, and support for the big banks suddenly won’t matter to these “liberals.” Again, just watch.

And if you’re an American progressive, don’t feel too bad. Most American conservatives aren’t true conservatives either (how do you explain George W. Bush?).

3. I agree that Bernie is more honest and true to his beliefs than Hillary (or Jeb, or Donald for that matter). Bernie Sanders is a true believer. Hillary is a sociopathic monster, a warmonger, a corporatist, and a criminal. That doesn’t really matter though, since Bernie’s an openly-admitted socialist. If he did get elected (and he won’t) he would simply further the speed at which America goes bankrupt.

4. Isn’t it fascinating that a guy who openly calls himself a socialist is getting all this support and positive media attention? This would have been impossible, impossible just 15 years ago. America slides ever left.

That’s another reason he won’t win. He’s left, but he’s a little too left for the typical American leftie. He’s about 15 years too early. The left wing continues to gain ground in America, so give it another 15 years or so, and you really will see America’s first true socialist president.

Good thing I’ll be out of the country by then.

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