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Ideal Relationship Types for Certain Types of Guys
-By Caleb Jones
Click the image below for a larger version:
Click for enlarged version
I want this chart to stand on its own, so I'm not going to write about it here. If I get enough questions on it I'll do a follow-up blog post.
Essentially, the ideal relationship for you is based on:
1. Whether you're an Alpha or beta.
2. Whether you want long relationships or shorter ones.
3. How much drama you'll put up with in a relationship.
Monogamy, "monogamy" (with cheating), polygamy ("I can fuck others but you can't"), OLTR, MLTR, and FB all involve different lengths and different levels of drama. This chart tells you how the different male personalty types match up with their corresponding relationship types.
That's pretty much it. Check the glossary if you don't know what the acronyms in the chart mean.
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Kurt 2015-08-10 07:30:08
3 types of Alpha but only one kind of Beta. Alphas get all sorts of options but Betas only get monogamy or "monogamy" Hilarious!! ...because it's TRUE
Blackdragon 2015-08-10 09:25:21
Betas always get less options than Alphas. The worst Alpha in the world will have more dating/relationship options with women than the most confident beta.
CrabRangoon 2015-08-10 10:25:45
Sometimes a picture is worth a 1000 words. Seeing this visually may help a lot of these guys truly understand their predicament. This should be right up there with Rollo Tomassi's SMV chart. Guys should print these out and stick them on the bathroom mirror as stark daily reminders. Keep up the great work BD!
John Smith 2015-08-10 11:49:29
So...it looks like celibacy is the only option for a beta who hates drama. That sounds about right. :/
Passe 2015-08-11 02:10:21
The ideological problem: is a beta able to cheat? And if he is (i.e. gets a woman to just sleep with him for no big provider benefits), can he still be called a beta?
AnotherDragon 2015-08-11 04:08:06
Passe - Of course betas can cheat. If a beta can get laid in the first place, then he can also cheat. Cheating doesn't have to mean that the person you are cheating with knows that you are "taken". Cheating can also mean promising your girlfriend you will leave your wife. Sex "just happens" a lot. It doesn't mean the male participant is some sort of amazing alpha for it to happen. Being taken or not. Etc.
Blackdragon 2015-08-11 13:13:26
Yes, betas cheat all the time. Betas are still men. The only difference is betas wait much longer than Alphas to cheat. The Alpha can theoretically cheat at any time, even during NRE, while the beta will usually wait several years into the marriage/relationship to do so. And yes, betas who cheat are still betas. I know many beta-cheaters. The act of cheating doesn't make you Alpha. It makes you a human being.
CrabRangoon 2015-08-11 14:36:14
"The act of cheating doesn’t make you Alpha. It makes you a human being." Amen to that. I love how appalled people act when they hear about someone cheating. Like it's a worse sin that murder. I think it's far more common than the masses want to believe. I personally know many people in my own circles(even more women than men) that have cheated, myself included. We need to stop acting so shocked that this happens in LTR's. I'm more surprised when it doesn't happen over long stretches of time.
JJ Roberts 2015-08-11 15:56:05
> The act of cheating doesn’t make you Alpha. It makes you a human being. Nope it makes you a dude stuck at Sex 2.0 Being human doesn't mean you are deceptive. As you yourself recently wrote in a post on why men lie. If you need to lie it just means you ain't got your shit together.
Blackdragon 2015-08-11 17:58:23
I love how appalled people act when they hear about someone cheating. Like it’s a worse sin that murder. I think it’s far more common than the masses want to believe.It is. People aren't aware of other relationship options, so they only way they know "how" is to promise monogamy and then cheat.
If you need to lie it just means you ain’t got your shit together.Correct! But read what I just said above. Most men don't have their shit together.
SargeMaximus 2015-08-12 04:32:11
So I don't get it. What makes one beta vs. alpha then? In your glossary it says that a beta is someone who chooses to be dominated by a woman, either reluctantly or on purpose. What if the woman is your boss at work? And what if the woman is a girl you're seeing? You mentioned in a blog post that men lie to women because they fear she will leave them. Isn't that beta as well? Or even "leaving out details", how is that not some form of beta-ization?
J.G 2015-08-12 05:32:46
Can a Beta have two FBs at the same time? Or is that a low Alpha instead? Why I ask is most likely that I am slowly struggeling out of my beta-hood. But it is hard.
POB 2015-08-12 09:19:09
What defines a beta or an Alpha has nothing to do with how many women he fucks or the gender of his boss. It's all about attitude. Generally speaking Alphas have the right attitude about their goals, their sex lives and mostly about themselves. Betas don't have any of that. They're just too scared to be their own role models. Even if they cheat most betas will take forever to go after that extra pussy. Also they'll probably confess really quickly within the first sign of trouble (or if they become too scared of their wives, or what society will think , etc). Alphas just don't give a crap. They do what they want, right or wrong. If they are married and want a new pussy, they won't think...they'll just fuck a new pussy. Most Alphas screw up on their relationships because they promise monogamy (knowing that even if they love their wives they'll eventually want new women down the road), lie and have poor relationship skills, as BD has talked over and over on this blog.
SargeMaximus 2015-08-12 12:08:54
So, if you DO care about consequences to your actions, your beta? I might have a problem then... how do you overcome this?
Blackdragon 2015-08-12 19:58:42
So I don’t get it. What makes one beta vs. alpha then? In your glossary it says that a beta is someone who chooses to be dominated by a woman, either reluctantly or on purpose. What if the woman is your boss at work? And what if the woman is a girl you’re seeing?A more expanded definition (like in my book) describes how betas are dominated by others. Boss or girlfriend or wife doesn't really matter, but certainly by women. An alpha is never dominated by a woman (unless he gets betaized because of oneitis or laziness, but at that point he's no longer Alpha; betaization is the slow conversation of Alpha to beta).
You mentioned in a blog post that men lie to women because they fear she will leave them. Isn’t that beta as well?Well, in my opinion, yes, though to be technical, it's not "beta"...it's outcome dependent. Many Alphas (1.0s) will lie to keep their women around. However, because they're Alphas, they will not be submissive to these women; they'll still be wearing the pants in the relationship.
Or even “leaving out details”, how is that not some form of beta-ization?Because you're not changing your life in any way. When I leave out details during those first 3-5 months in a new relationship, I'm not changing anything I'm doing. And if the woman doesn't like it, she leaves and I continue on. Betaization would be if I did change my lifestyle in some way because a woman demanded it.
Can a Beta have two FBs at the same time?I have never seen a beta pull that off, but I'm sure it's possible for a very short period of time, until the beta gets oneitis for one of the two girls or until one of the two girls demands monogamy (which he will instantly comply with).
Generally speaking Alphas have the right attitude about their goals, their sex lives and mostly about themselves. Betas don’t have any of that. They’re just too scared to be their own role models. Even if they cheat most betas will take forever to go after that extra pussy. Also they’ll probably confess really quickly within the first sign of trouble (or if they become too scared of their wives, or what society will think , etc). Alphas just don’t give a crap. They do what they want, right or wrong. If they are married and want a new pussy, they won’t think…they’ll just fuck a new pussy.Good description, and correct.
So, if you DO care about consequences to your actions, your beta?No. Again, that's outcome dependence, not "beta." Outcome dependence is suffered by both betas and Alpha 1.0s. The difference is Alpha 1.0s control rather than be controlled. Betas are controlled.
I might have a problem then… how do you overcome this?It's a detailed process. Read my book.
SargeMaximus 2015-08-13 17:33:10
Yes I've got your book, it's fantastic. I'm a little hung-up on the "live your life's mission" part tho. What if my life's mission is to just be rich and fuck lots of women? Or rather, what if that's all I want it to be?
Blackdragon 2015-08-13 17:47:22
What if my life’s mission is to just be rich and fuck lots of women? Or rather, what if that’s all I want it to be?1. It's not specific enough. 2. You will likely change your mind on it as you get older, particularly the "fuck lots of women" part. In other words, it's only valid during your relative youth. 3. It's surface-level. Not deep enough to keep you going for 20+ years at a deep, internal level. But hey, if you're happy, keep doing what you're doing!
SargeMaximus 2015-08-15 17:43:12
Well I'm not really happy, just content. It's really hard for me to be excited or to be happy and fulfilled with anything, really. The whole point of my "purpose" I mentioned above is to pass the time between the maternity ward and the crematorium. lol. Sounds bleak I know, but I really don't see much value in anything. I don't want to get into it because it's personal and, honestly, I don't want to burden you with my problems (nor do I think you're a psychologist), but I've had a severely traumatic life till I was about 19 years old. I don't know if I can even live a fulfilled life with the kinds of traumatic scars I have, but I DO want to be rich and fuck lots of women. So, what's required for those two goals?
Blackdragon 2015-08-16 13:53:51
Seek counseling. You have a severe problem, and you need to fix it. I'm serious.
So, what’s required for those two goals?You've read my book, thus you know how to get started.
SargeMaximus 2015-08-16 15:12:01
Yes I'm already in counseling. I don't know if it is fixable tbh, but we'll see. Thanks for all the help, and yeah your book is great.
joelsuf 2016-05-04 01:16:51
So…it looks like celibacy is the only option for a beta who hates drama.I have never seen a beta who didn't like drama. In fact, I'll contend that drama is the glue that binds a beta (and their violent omega counterparts). Now there are betas who DENY attraction to drama, but those aren't betas they are Omegas. Omegas are the types who become internet tough guys and trolls (and if they are physically imposing enough, rl tough guys and trolls, thus their obsession with bodybuilding) because they rely on emotional appeal and emotional reactions to socially survive. If you are in a social situation and are uneasy that there is no drama and everyone is getting along and having a great time, you are a beta. If you are in a social situation and you have hostile feelings because there is no drama and everyone is getting along and having a great time, you are an omega. Being drama free is only reserved for alphas.
How To Avoid Serious Relationships - tddaygame 2017-11-15 16:03:01
[…] models of alpha relationships (I leave that to Blackdragon) nor I’m going to suggest what could be ideal for you. I’m just going to describe the border between “casual” and […]