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Racial Series Part 1 – Pickup Advice for Black Guys
This is the first in an ongoing series where I give advice to guys specific to their race. A common complaint is that most men’s pickup or dating advice is white guys giving advice to other white guys on how to have sex with white or Asian girls. This is correct. I can see how men of other races, particularly those living in the West where most women are white, can feel left out.
-By Caleb Jones
In that time, I’ve seen a lot of black guys (or Asian guys, or Indian guys, etc.) do a lot of things right and score with white girls (and other girls), and a lot of things wrong and get nowhere. So just like with the issue of the good and bad cities, I have a pretty good idea of what works for non-white guys and what doesn’t, even if I myself am white.
Will my advice be perfect? No. The best dating advice a black man could get would be from another black man who is already very successful with the type of women he likes. I will try to be the next best thing, based on my experience of working, communicating and observing black guys in the dating arena, but I fully admit my advice won’t be as good.
If you are black and have successfully had sex with many women (both inside and outside of your race), please do comment below and offer advice to your brothers.
Advice for Black Guys Going After Black Women
Not much I can say here. Much like Hispanic women, black women tend to be higher-drama than women of other races, but this is somewhat equated by the fact that black men also tend to be higher-drama themselves. If you’re a black guy seeking black women, I don’t think you need any customized help beyond the standard dating advice I have already given in my blogs and books.
You’ll simply have to remember something which you probably already know; that black women are (likely, but not always) going to throw more jealousy and drama at you than the typical white or Asian girl.
Advice for Black Guys Going After White Women
This is where things get a little complicated. I’ll take this step by step.
1. Understand in advance that your success rates are going to be lower with women of other races no matter what you do.
It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about online game or daygame or whatever. If you’re black and the women you’re working on are white, you are going to get a lower hit rate / response rate than a white man of the equivalent attractiveness. This is even if you do everything right. That's is just the way it is and there’s nothing you or I can do about it. It's biological; human beings tend to be more attracted to other human beings of the equivalent race.
This is why, with online dating, I always tell non-white guys to target the women of their race first, clean the dating site/app of those women first, then move to the women of other races. Your response rate will be much higher with women of your own race if you’re non-white. Again, it’s just the way it is.
That doesn’t mean you can’t get laid. I know plenty of black guys who are fantastic players and have sex with hot white girls all the time. It just means you can’t expect the exact same response rates as a white guy. Accept this and don’t get pissed off about it.
2. Calm the fuck down.
Black guys’ biggest problem is that they usually have extreme, overconfident, overly aggressive Alpha Male 1.0 personalities. That’s fine for most black women. It is not fine for most white women. All you’ll do with your overly aggressive hyper-confidence is turn off, or even scare away white girls.
If you’re wanting to date white girls, you need to take your energy level down about three or four notches. Think classy and cool, not badass or gansta. Don’t be quite as aggressive. Talk a little more softly. Be a little more polite. Avoid ebonics and talk like what a white girl would be accustomed to hearing. Just calm down, you bastard. Seriously, I see a lot good-looking black guys who could score with white women if they just calmed down a little (or a lot!).
I’ve said it before, and I’ll probably say it again. In my personal, anecdotal experience, the only men who have out-gamed me, and got girls I wanted to get but couldn’t (and yes, I'm talking about hot white girls here), were black guys who were calm and well dressed.
The typical city-black guy with baggy jeans, a shitty T shirt, and a jacket with some huge logo on it is no threat to my game. But a black guy with a shaved head, dressed in slacks and a nice button down, who’s calm and collected, is like an H-bomb of player godhood. That guy will out-game me, with white girls, almost every time. I have no chance. These guys are white-girl pussy magnets.
The sad reality for us white guys is that black guys are cooler. They are. Let’s be real about this. Black guys, when they snap it up a little are far more cool than the typical white dude. If you’re a black guy, use this to your advantage. Don’t waste it by being the typical black guy stereotype.
So if you want white girls, snap up your fashion. Start dressing nicer. Use this article and this one to get started.
4. Realize that white girls DO like black guys...but here’s a catch.
Black guys often think that “white women don’t like black guys.” Wrong. Oh, so wrong.
It’s true that there are a lot of white women that would never date or hook up with black guy. It’s also true that a huge percentage of white women have secret black guy fantasies that they never talk about to anyone because of racial or right-wing Societal Programming.
I have seen many white women go crazy when black celebrities like Shemar Moore, Taye Diggs, Morris Chestnut, or Michael B. Jordan walk onto the screen. These white women are not the unusual exceptions; they’re very common.
If you’re the typical black guy, you’ll never get these girls because you’ll scare them off and then you’ll incorrectly assume that white girls don’t like black guys. But, if you snap up your look and your fashion, calm down a little and talk more like a white person, you will be able to convince many of these women to act out the fantasy (or at least strong curiosity) they’ve always been thinking about.
There's also a generational issue. With every new generation, more women are more open to dating outside of their race. Gen Y white women are far more likely to be cool with dating black guys than white women of my generation (Gen X) and way more likely than my parents' generation (Baby Boomers). My grandparents' generation (WWII Generation) wasn't even allowed to do that. So with every new generation this interracial stuff gets easier (to right-winger's horror).
Advice for Black Guys Going After Asian Women
The stereotype is true: black guys love Asian women. Holy crap. Whenever I’ve dated an Asian girl, black guys will come out of the woodwork to hit on her in quantities that never happen if I’m dating a sexy blonde white woman, even if she looks like Coco T.
The advice for black guys going after Asian women is the exact same as the above stuff for the white women, with one exception. If the Asian girl is first generation Western, as in she was born and raised in her Asian country, then you need to even more nice and more calm than with a white girl. Again, over aggressiveness will scare Asian women, even if some are secretly attracted to it. (If an Asian girl was born and raised here in the West, just treat her like a white girl, which is essentially what she is.)
You also need to understand that a long-term relationship with a first generation Asian girl is probably not on the cards for you. Very few Westerners understand this, but Asians are the most racist people on Earth. (Western white guilt has successfully used Societal Programming to convince whites that whites are the most racist race; not true by a long shot.) Her Asian dad has a samurai sword with your name on it if he finds out his little jade princess is having sex with a black guy. She knows all this, so she will likely keep you a secret from her family. Yes, there are exceptions to this and this is not always true, but it is the norm.
Ah, racism. It’s one of the most potent forms of false Societal Programming. I predict we shall see some in the comments below. (Let’s see if I’m right!)
That’s it for black guys. Coming up, advice for Indian guys, Hispanic guys and Asian guys, so subscribe to this blog in the upper-right corner above if you’re in any of those categories.
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Johnnysixpack 2016-02-01 06:21:12
You oftentimes give rock solid advice, and this may, in fact, be great advice for non-White men trying to game White or Asian girls. However: The "racism is false societal programming" is utter nonsense and is itself false societal programming. Many peer-reviewed articles have been authored on this subject, a cursory Google search would provide plenty of citations. I probably wouldn't have even commented except that little portion of your post struck me as the same infantile shaming language Social Justice Warriors like to use.
carmichael reid 2016-02-01 07:18:25
I'm black from Canada. From my perspective, I don't find it easier or harder to hit on any girl of any race. Judging from Manosphere, it's not a race thing either. Due to the High Complaint Rates. They like to say it is. Since This Blog Laid Out the Terms for Relationships. It's a mentality thing. Or an American Thing. If it is a problem. It's a huge time saver for me. I Don't Get Led On. Period. The girls let me know straight up. I don't like online dating because of this. Because, yes stereotypes are hugely involved. Especially for "High Value other race girls". I have a white good looking male friend who could clean up online. Inbox Maxed with interest. But he doesn't know what to do with it. Myself on the other hand. I may go desert dry for awhile but when I hit, it's repeat business for a while. Alot of black manosphere authors say that blacks have a tough time getting high value other race girls and have to date down. Whatever that means. Good looking doesn't mean high sex drive or good in bed or tolerable personality. I find whenever sports or demonstrations of physical talent is on the line. It's 50/50. But I usually don't have to game any chick. I get the eye, and it's on from there. College was too easy. If I wasn't such a nerd I could have put up more than I did. As for dressing. Thanks to artists like Kanye and Pharell, blacks are seen as trendsetters. I have always liked nice clothes. I have dressed street. Like FUBU in its Prime. But I'm a little older now so, Burberry for instance. They are the one of the only brands that I know that has any bright colors in their lines. Most clothing companies are geared towards white skin tones, so a lot of greys and neutral tones. That's a killer for me. But, I know I ace the Physical Attraction Test. Stereotypes can work in my favor. I'm a pretty good athlete and play all sports, my main one is white people's hockey. This was interesting. It was polarizing. Girls Loved it or Hated it. No middle ground. I don't categorize it as interracial dating anymore. I have all types of girls, Princesses, Beach Babes. But athletic girls, artsy girls, and typically girls with some style are usually easier targets. Dating black girls isn't as hard up in Canada either. As for aggression. I have experimented with that. In my early days I was criticized for not being aggressive enough! I was seen as too white. So this has been the real crux in my game. Not being too tough or being too soft. My criticism of black manosphere guys is their hatred for black women. Black guys who only date other races. I think some black girls here are some of the most loyal and perceptive girls out there. White girls are mostly oblivious, entitled and spoiled so being a challenge with them is critical to game. Girls with small tits love me I don't know what that's about...
carmichael reid 2016-02-01 07:52:15
Also, I find white guys can get away with being beta much easier than I can.
ken 2016-02-01 08:15:52
Asian guy from Canada here. It's true that asian girls have a black guy fantasy. I work as a personal trainer and had an 18 year old japanese girl client once. She told me her two favorite type of guys are dark skinned asians like Filipinos and black guys. She said she didn't want to date black guys, she just wanted to "try" them. Even my own two sisters said to me that they want to try a black guy because they're so masculine but they don't want to date them under a relationship context. Asians are very racist for sure lol.
Gil Galad 2016-02-01 08:21:41
@Johnnysixpack: I think what BD is calling racism is the hatred of other races/ reluctance to mingle with them, not the belief in the existence of races/ethnicities. There are peer reviewed articles on the biological basis of race and ethnicity, granted, but go ahead and tell us that there are peer reviewed studies proving that you "should" hate other races. That's laughable, and it is indeed false societal programming - though it probably does partly stem from a biological instinct of defiance towards other ethnicities, inflated by societal programming.
Doug Bandler II 2016-02-01 09:10:41
Yeah, racism is entirely social conditioning. Because there are no such things as IQ scores, brain size, skull shape, testosterone levels, gene sets, time horizon, impulsiveness, etc etc, all of them having a biological basis. No, it would be impossible for the harsh winters of the Norther latitudes to have anything to do with natural selection. You're so wise to avoid all that "societal conditioning" that would suggest otherwise. Yes, you are far more enlightened than the stupid racists for believing that there is a magical ray shield around the human brain that protects brain tissue from evolutionary pressures. I feel so much better informed now.
Doug Bandler II 2016-02-01 09:17:07
BD is a libertarian. Libertarians are indistinguishable from Leftists on everything outside of economics. How could someone who is giving advice to black men on how to have sex with white women NOT be considered a cultural Leftist?
Joe 2016-02-01 09:18:55
This one hits home for me... and I have to say you're on point BD. You have a great view of the TRUTH on interracial dating. I'm 27 yr/old black and white dude (I look like Drake) and have dated women of all different ethnicities & colors, most recently I had a 2 year relationship with a 1st generation Asian girl (Cantonese, she was born after her parents moved to US). Here are some of my actionable observations that others here should look out for: I'm a "snapped up" guy and can't help that I talk like a white dude (This causes some problems with other black people, but avoids MORE problems with non-black people) My (now ex) GF worked as an administrator at a mostly black & latin Elementary school. Unlike many Asians, she worked around black people and saw that they aren't as scary as her parents would have her think. Speaking of her parents, she was extremely reluctant to introduce me to them side note: I had a first date with a Mulatta Brazilian girl 2 days ago and she asked me to meet her Mom when I dropped her off! It helps to always know your place in Social Hierarchy! Compared to any American women, Asian (Chinese) women will expect to be given gifts, taken out to dinner and pampered accordingly. Interestingly, I have long-term dated both Indian and Philippino women who both expected less pampering than American women. Black & Asian ranting aside, I'd also like to point out one extremely crucial concept for Black & White dating: Hot white girls (especially college age) will hook up with the most thugged out Black dudes. This is hilarious to watch happening at clubs. As these same white girls get a little older (around 26), they abruptly shift from wanting the 2Chainz experience, to wanting the Barack or Morris Chestnutt experience. <-- This is where I do 90% of my work.
ARD 2016-02-01 09:25:33
BD, I'm a Black guy in an OLTR with a Chinese girl. This advice is spot-on. Girls automatically assume that I am a huge player (not incorrect). So I'll usually have to dial back the player vibe quite a bit, or face some significant Last Minute Resistance about it. Your advice on having sex talk on the first date is something that I have had backfire occasionally. Many non-black women just don't need it, they assign a sexual frame to me by default. Your comments on Asians are spot on. But something I've learned from my Girlfriend's first-generation Asian girlfriends are that many Asian women have a secret (or not so secret) black fantasy. As @ken pointed out, they may have to hide it, but there are a ton of Asian girls out there who are very curious about sex with black men. Even if those same women would never have a black boyfriend. A low-key black man with lots of discretion could do very well in that area. One thing I would add is that being physically fit is a huge boon to my game. Of course, this is true for every man, but women have practically raped me during times when I lifting weights intensely.
Chris Field 2016-02-01 09:26:38
Doug, do you even know what racism is? It's not the fact that there are differences between people.
Blackdragon 2016-02-01 09:59:08
Ugh. Less than ten comments and guys are bitching about racism. I guess my prediction was right.
The “racism is false societal programming” is utter nonsense and is itself false societal programming. Many peer-reviewed articles have been authored on this subject...Racism is Societal Programming. It's not like people are raised to love their own race equally and then as adults read a bunch of IQ studies and then say, "Ah, yes. Based on these studies I have now decided to dislike black people." Nor will you see an Asian dad suddenly like his daughter's black boyfriend because the boyfriend proves to him he has a 150 IQ and a masters degree like both of his parents. The vast majority (though not all) of people who are uncomfortable (or flat out dislike) with other races are trained to be so via their cultural upbringing. That doesn't mean there aren't clear biological differences between races. Duh, of course there are. My point is these differences have very little to do with the core reasons why people dislike or are uncomfortable with those outside of their race. Usually these people feel the negative feelings first (from their Societal Programming) then do the research to back up the feelings they already have. It's almost never the other way round. Now please, for Christ sake, no more discussion about racism or politics here. That's not what this post is about nor what this blog is about. Thanks in advance. If you want to talk about politics, go over to my personal blog and scream about it over there (as long as you stay on-topic to the posts I make). I just made a post today about the primaries. There are also plenty of manosphere blogs that love to scream about race (as if that matters in a Western world that's already fucked), so go scream about it over there. Thanks.
Blackdragon 2016-02-01 10:03:15
Stereotypes can work in my favor. I’m a pretty good athlete and play all sports, my main one is white people’s hockey. This was interesting. It was polarizing. Girls Loved it or Hated it. No middle ground.Yeah, that's correct. If you use this stuff to your advantage it becomes a strength more than a weakness.
I don’t categorize it as interracial dating anymore. I have all types of girls, Princesses, Beach Babes.Very good attitude. My attitude is the same. If a woman is hot, I don't care what race she is. She's a hot woman and she needs my D.
Hot white girls (especially college age) will hook up with the most thugged out Black dudes. This is hilarious to watch happening at clubs. As these same white girls get a little older (around 26), they abruptly shift from wanting the 2Chainz experience, to wanting the Barack or Morris Chestnutt experience. <– This is where I do 90% of my work.Interesting.
But something I’ve learned from my Girlfriend’s first-generation Asian girlfriends are that many Asian women have a secret (or not so secret) black fantasy. As @ken pointed out, they may have to hide it, but there are a ton of Asian girls out there who are very curious about sex with black men.My longest consistent nomono relationship was with an Asian girl who loved black guys to death, particularly if they were mixed and had blue eyes. She'd go nuts. However, per what I said, when we stopped seeing each other her very next "boyfriend" who she could introduce to her daddy was a white guy, even though she secretly prefers black dudes. And yeah, her dad was still pissed off her BF was white and not Asian. 🙂
Bobby 2016-02-01 10:42:01
Great post BD. I'm not black (Hispanic actually), but I can relate to some of this stuff. I had crazy oneitis for an Asian girl years ago (I was young and stupid ok). She liked me a lot, but at the same time our relationship was a big dirty secret. It bothered me at the time, but Now I know that this is actually a very good thing!. You never have to worry about these girls trying to get all serious with you. That can never happen... their families will hang them. Black guys, etc though are free to fuck them and let them fulfill their fantasies without worrying about them getting too attached. Racism is Societal Programming. I can't think of a better way to define it. Everything negative that I have ever heard about other races came from my own family. It's like other crazy shit like religion ... it gets passed down to the next generation.
eddie 2016-02-01 12:07:53
OMG!!!!! BD, what are you doing...have you lost your (brilliant) mind...do you realize how much hate, shame and rejection you're going to get from white guys (this subject is going to surface their deepest, unconscious fears and insecurities). Having said that...I have a new profound, greater RESPECT for you. Your blogs and books have always been amongst the best out there... but to take it here shows a tremendous amount of courage and balls of steel. OK.. here's 3 of my comments... 1. All your points are excellent and spot-on (what happened to the one for Latinas?). 2. Racism is a (white) man-made social construct based on fear, lies and deception but is held onto and practiced liked a religion because it gives the DEVOTEES a personal false sense of pride and self worth. I won't get into all the Eugentics of it (like some have already tried or the structual, systematic, propaganda of it)...just know that you nailed it....also as a side bar....as Racism has given white guys a false sense of superiority, it has also given black guys a false sense of inferiority..which leads me to my last point. 3. Attitude is everything. The more Black guys educate themselves, improve their Game, have more Success and Status..they will give off a strong, positive vibe that becomes absolutely irressistable to any girl of any race...and would even become more acceptable (as the exception) to that girls family. Lastly, a major Game changer for Black guys is, travel...Black guys will be amazed how attractive and well received they are in other countries. Again, excellent (brave) article...I'm looking forward to more on this series and please don't let the haters intimidate or stop you. Much Respect!!!!!
carmichael reid 2016-02-01 13:32:46
One guy said that he uses the Barack or Tay Diggs or whatever template for chicks. In my experience these black guys get into LTRs and suffer the same monogamous fates as normal white guys described in this blog. Personally I would never model my game as a leftist (or rightist) actor, let alone a left winged politician. Black people in general have a problem sympathizing with people who do them more harm than good. Don't get me started on diversity initiatives. What I found that has worked for me and has compounded into my self-image confidence is the balance between top athlete for physique, gangsta thug in the sack and high performing entrepreneur with an entertainer's gift of gab. It's that no bullshit, take it or leave it charm frame girls seem to love or absolutely HATE. You should see some girl at the gym for instance... The only thing I've learned in the manosphere is. No woman fucks a gentleman. or Drake for that matter. PS: OLTR from a Black guy is code for Alpha 1.0 =)
Buzz 2016-02-01 15:39:11
The West is the only place where most women are white, True or False? A very high percentage of white women want black men, True or false? From what I have seen it is because they are somewhat forbidden fruit,they are fabled to have larger cocks which really is just because they don't retract when cold or not in use and because black men are just as emotionally unstable as white women. True or false?
carmichael reid 2016-02-01 15:53:15
Mine retracts like a motherfucker. I got made fun of in the dressing room because of it. Ice Hockey rinks are cold. =) Try dealing with that kind of rep in high school. Small dick Black Guy. One of the best Table Turner pickup lines I have ever had in my life. Got all George Costanza on the bitch.
Buzz 2016-02-01 15:59:58
Races exist because there were different groups of people in different parts of the world living in different climates and there was no cross breading at all because of difficulty in traveling long distances, it has nothing to do with programing at all. In order to maintain a race the females must bread true. Soon there will be no races everybody will be light brown.
Rick 2016-02-01 16:06:40
Curious what you have to say about Latinos because I love Asian chicks. Never take advice from the Manosphere. They are just circle jerking each other. Women will fuck a Gentleman IF he takes advice from people like BD.
Blackdragon 2016-02-01 16:07:22
I asked for you guys to knock off the racism talk (for or against) but I see that's falling on deaf ears. I guess go ahead and go crazy then, talk about racism if it's sooooooo important to you right-wingers and left-wingers; just remember to follow the Five Rules of this blog. If any of you go crazy or go ad homiem, my delete button works very well. I won't be participating in the topic of racism, but I will continue talking about how to get laid as it relates to different races.
Lovergirl 2016-02-01 16:07:33
Just lol at the immediate onslaught of guys trying to prove something about how racism should have some genetic basis. Wow. Calling all racists.... Haha Then the guy above me talking about how black guys' dicks don't retract...what.the.flying.fuck?! I've seen more black guys dicks than probably any of you and I will say that is completely off the wall. What, do you think they walk around hard all the time? LMAO @ Joe-
As these same white girls get a little older (around 26), they abruptly shift from wanting the 2Chainz experience, to wanting the Barack or Morris Chestnutt experience. <– This is where I do 90% of my work.This, in my experience, is also true. All the white girls that were running around with thuggish black men when we were younger (cough, cough, yes I am including myself here) do a quick turnaround when they get older and smarter. I had a guy ask me awhile back if I go more for the Ice Cube or the Carlton type and it made me laugh. I was like, I wouldn't go for either but I'd pick Carlton over Ice Cube (I'm nearing 40 so those were the references he used, lol). Of course, nowadays Ice Cube is like the family man, but we aren't talking about that, haha. @Carmichael Reid
What I found that has worked for me and has compounded into my self-image confidence is the balance between top athlete for physique, gangsta thug in the sack and high performing entrepreneur with an entertainer’s gift of gab. It’s that no bullshit, take it or leave it charm frame girls seem to love or absolutely HATE. You should see some girl at the gym for instance…Yep! This pretty much sums up my "type" as a white woman that tends to prefer a black man. When you think about it that is a LOT of pressure for guys to live up to but I do love the ones that do!!
Blackdragon 2016-02-01 16:10:57
All your points are excellent and spot-on (what happened to the one for Latinas?)I neglected to mention that mostly because a black guy wanting to hook up with a Latina woman is pretty much the same as a black guy wanting a black woman. Like black women, Latina women are higher drama and higher jealousy than white or Asian women, though it's a slightly different flavor. Other than that I think it's about the same.
Anthony 2016-02-01 17:42:02
Black guy in Seoul, Korea: Nice post BD, I dated a Korean girl for 3.5 years. All was well until I met her mom.....three weeks later we broke up. No hard feelings, I've been in Korea long enough to know the societal pressure she is under. She had her experience and I had mine.
eddie 2016-02-01 17:50:26
BD..point well taken but it still should have it's own separate paragraph. Then you can distinguish the differences in cultural attitudes, turn-ons and turn-offs... for example, Black Men can triple their success rate with Latinos through dance (salsa, merengue and bachata) and language (spanish).
PaulMurrayCbr 2016-02-01 19:15:16
I will not be commenting on this post because it's a subject that I know nothing about and have nothing useful to contribute to.
carmichael reid 2016-02-01 19:21:39
The thing about rejection relating to white guys compared to everyone else, which is 100% of PUA and the reason this BD blog exists. It's beyond me how white guys still have problems dating. The numbers are purely in their favor. Maybe it's how white men react to rejection. As a black guy, you sense it coming. I'm the master of optimistic cynicism. I have plenty of white friends who go in the dumps after they have been rejected. They start Red Pill sites and so on. Never when they are in NRE, but only when they get dumped. As a black guy who has had his highs and lows (more to come). The fact that my confidence in myself relying on the fact that a no can't kill me makes me much stronger. Especially a No, that you expect. White guys on the other hand have huge expectations where "Yes" is an ace because of their numbers. Crazy world if you ask me .
kingpin 2016-02-01 20:56:41
I won’t be participating in the topic of racism, but I will continue talking about how to get laid as it relates to different races.Thank you BD. Heartiste has sadly lost himself so it's nice to have a blogger who remembers the point of it all. If the extremists on all sides were *actually having good sex* regularly they wouldn't care nearly so much about bullshit identity politics. Post coital glow cures all.
Antonio 2016-02-01 22:04:19
Hello, Blackdragon and to the rest of you guys who posted comments on here, First off as a black guy who is very interested in women of other races , particularly white women, race as well as stereotypes and experiences that women of other races may or may have not had with us , plays a big role. As u stated they comfortably, naturally and biologically go for men of there own race or ethnic background, so racially wise its naturally there preference, but at the same time, because of human nature we will always be curious or have secret fantasies about someone different. My experiences with women of other races has not been good at all, i seem to be cursed , so other black guys on here, you shouldn't feel bad at all, i have fantasies about sleeping with these sexy white women, that i have seen everyday for years and it has not happened yet, i am a nice looking guy, dress nicely and i am very cool, calm ,collective and confident , educated and speak proper English and have made many approaches with these women and still cant get the pussy to save my life, as a black guy with these qualities , you might think i would be doing okay , but reality is it never seems to happen that way for me, i am on the sidelines and i miss out and it really sucks , the women are cold, resistant and reject me in different ways all the time, it just doesn't make any sense, when there are particular black guys who they make exceptions for ,so i need advice from these black guys and you white guys , WTF is up with these women, any thoughts?
Ryan 2016-02-01 22:09:59
I have successfully carried on a few FB style relationships with white women, two of those lasted for almost three years. But the majority of them were only interested in one night stands or monogamous relationships. Aside from those white women, who have an obvious and/or unabashed preference for black men, I have had very mixed results with white women. Many white women who prefer to date black men are also "high-drama" or have loads of baggage. It's been my experience that many of these women are only interested in black men because they are undesirable to the white men they covet. The few that were of high or exceptional quality made it clear their families and friends wouldn't accept them if they openly engaged in interracial relationships.(societal programming) That always created the need to keep the affairs quiet, and in my opinion served as an easy out when the time had come to move on.
Chris 2016-02-01 23:56:10
I don't at all have the stereotypical black personality. I don't care for sports at all, I probably listen to way more indie rock than rap, my style is probably more white hipsterish(slim fitted designer jeans, button up plaid shirts kind of look) than urban hiphop style or anything like that. I can't dance to save my life. In fact I hate dancing. I'm dark-skinned, I'm average looking and a bit below average height. I'm in neither great nor bad physical shape. I don't really talk like a stereotypical black guy, I have more of the white style of humor with sarcasm and deadpan than the more raucous, boisterous humor more typical of black guys(hope I'm not stereotyping too much!). I definitely do not have the alpha type social personality. I'm strongly introverted, reserved and reflective. More of a listener than a talker. I can be sociable when I need to be but I'm definitely not the life of the party who is going to light up the room. I have a hard time putting out any kind of playa sexual vibe. That's just how I naturally am. I've never been able to benefit from any of the positive stereotypes that come with black men. Those type of women into that wouldn't even notice me. Yet I have it tough from the other direction too because I'm too white for the typical black girl. I'm also not religious and more of a secular humanist, and most blacks girls tend to be strongly religious so that's another point of friction. I'm also really outdoorsy, love nature and hiking and camping and that kind of stuff. Finding black women that are into that stuff is pretty tough. Guys like me have a pretty slim market to work with. Btw, I am attracted to black women. I just find that I have very little in common with most of them. I tend to have way more in common with white women when it comes to personal interests and lifestyle. But have a hard time with them because the ones that like black guy aren't into black guys like me, they tend to like the more athletic, smooth playa type which I'm nothing like at all. And the type of white girls I would like just don't seem to care or even notice black guys whatsoever. They'll be nice but no real vibe or IoIs beyond mere friendliness. I'm not looking for a white woman per se. I'm more about just finding someone who I at least find attractive that I share things in common with and vibe with. Not even trying to be a playa at this point in my life.
Chris 2016-02-02 00:28:42
Also, I think when non-black women say they like "some black guys", or want to "try" a black guy, this is what they have in mind: If you don't fit that stereotypical athletic type look, you're probably invisible to them.
carmichael reid 2016-02-02 05:15:43
@Antonio @Chris @Ryan I was the embodiment of those past beliefs. I don't struggle anymore. I don't believe in slim markets in a world that houses 7.125 billion people. You are better off being an acquired unique taste than a general chick magnet. I used to envy these guys in college. But these guys couldn't spell to save their life. They pay for it in the end. Too many athletes put their eggs in one basket. One injury and they are on the same level as you. The only thing that can elevate you past "struggles" is a lesson I was taught in grade school. "Attitude is Everything."
As u stated they comfortably, naturally and biologically go for men of there own race or ethnic background, so racially wise its naturally there preference, but at the same time, because of human nature we will always be curious or have secret fantasies about someone different.A (white) woman can smell a black guy's thirst for white meat a mile away. Staring too directly at the sun. My man. My experience has been, especially with young girls, is that they are still under their parents' reign ie) they pay for her rent, car, groceries, college, etc. In return they become model children. I'm an athlete with a nerd heart. The balance of Sexual Tuning is Not talked about much. That's the symphony you need to learn to play. Because, if you don't, Betaville is always welcome. Some girls I have to Turn down not much the aggressiveness. But the sexuality. Some you have to turn it up. Some you just stand pat. My easiest lays honestly came when I was oblivious. Girls like you or they don't. They stalk their prey. When you are minding your own business finding an obsession with something you cannot live without, they find you. Strive to Be the BEST at what you do in one area of life. I mean The BEST. That type of work ethic will teach you that being the BEST comes with much more failures than successes. It'll toughen up your soul. Success with Women are no different. Against Popular Belief, Confidence isn't being popular and liked by everyone. Confidence is knowing you are the man when everyone hates you. I don't believe in hobbies. I find an obsession and work it hard. At 22 I was working on 155 million dollar movies with no more skill, in fact a lot less skill than everyone there. I was willing to learn and my obsession is bigger than world-class artists out there. Did it get me laid? Rarely do achievements get you laid in the long-term. What does get girls to inquire about me is my obsessive and passionate expertise in something. Expertise gets you laid. Full-Stop. When you seek freedom, you want to seek a girl who is free as well. Sneaking around is fun for awhile. But if she can't live with her own ideals, and you are. It doesn't work out. Finding Mentally Independent People In General is Tough. That is why I'm on this blog.
Many white women who prefer to date black men are also “high-drama” or have loads of baggage. It’s been my experience that many of these women are only interested in black men because they are undesirable to the white men they covetNo. Just No. >=(
Guys like me have a pretty slim market to work with. Btw, I am attracted to black women. I just find that I have very little in common with most of them. I tend to have way more in common with white women when it comes to personal interests and lifestyle.Maybe they have nothing in common with you. That's the thing with men. They want women to be molded to them. In the Game. If you're really attracted to them. Become slightly interested in their activities to at least make conversation. Have a Backbone and Look Alive Out There. But, do you think I actually care about fashion week and Jennifer Lawrence? Law of Power: Be Like Water My Friend - Bruce Lee.. Being good at that something is tough and there are plenty of people like me who understand this and making you guys look like complainers out there. Love is a Battlefield. Wounded Warriors get Pussy.
carmichael reid 2016-02-02 07:08:04
(Black) Men need to stop putting (White) Women on a Pedestal. All women are the same color on the inside. The Key to Dating is exceeding their worldview. That builds attraction. Which means they chase you. If they don`t respond, they are content where they are. Exceeding expectations lets you sleep a lot better not only compared to lonely, but neglected women who could have had fun with you rather than without you. In turn be the fun, humor-serious and free guy. Regardless of women and it`ll become second nature. It`s irresistible to humans in general. It`s an aphrodisiac to every race of girl but repulsive to bitter, racist and low self image women. Which you don`t want anyways. They find underachievers and crush their souls.
Antonio 2016-02-02 08:57:59
thanks for the comments guys but lets not forget that women are still complex emotional creatures, nothing they say or do makes any common sense, no matter how much we love them and want to sleep with them, there still a pain in the ass to understand at times. white women, black women, asian ,hispanic, doesnt matter the race or culture they come from they all have one thing in common, there women.
Blackdragon 2016-02-02 13:03:13
Black Men can triple their success rate with Latinos through dance (salsa, merengue and bachata) and language (spanish).Good points!
It’s beyond me how white guys still have problems dating. The numbers are purely in their favor.Because most white guys are betas.
Thank you BD. Heartiste has sadly lost himself so it’s nice to have a blogger who remembers the point of it all. If the extremists on all sides were *actually having good sex* regularly they wouldn’t care nearly so much about bullshit identity politics.You are exactly correct but this current manosphere problem is a little more complicated. I've been silent about this psycho-angry manosphere stuff for a while now, but it's getting so bad that I'll be talking about this soon. I'd rather not stir up drama, but it's getting to the point where I have no choice. Oh well. More on this later.
i have fantasies about sleeping with these sexy white women, that i have seen everyday for years and it has not happened yet, i am a nice looking guy, dress nicely and i am very cool, calm ,collective and confident , educated and speak proper English and have made many approaches with these women and still cant get the pussy to save my life, as a black guy with these qualities , you might think i would be doing okay , but reality is it never seems to happen that way for me, i am on the sidelines and i miss out and it really sucks , the women are cold, resistant and reject me in different ways all the time, it just doesn’t make any senseThen honestly, you've got something wrong with your game. You're doing something wrong. Brush up on some more PUA techniques and perhaps even hire a daygame coach to help you. If everything you're saying is true, you should be getting laid.
(Black) Men need to stop putting (White) Women on a Pedestal.Agree! NO woman should be placed on a pedestal. Yes, I think many black guys are building up this "white woman" fantasy in their minds to the point where it gets emotionally difficult to actually pull the trigger on them correctly. This is the exact reason I lost my virginity so late in life (early 20s). I was pedestalizing women and even sex in general. Huge mistake.
Buzz 2016-02-02 13:34:34
In frustration once I told a woman that I had known for a long time that I had been trying my whole life to understand women and I just don't and she said did not either LOL
Antonio 2016-02-02 13:49:25
No sir I cant completely agree with you BD, I have tried everything from going after what i want, without being needy or creepy or intimidating , to the point of embarrassment and that's not good for a black guy, if my game needs an adjustment, then do tell me what I am failing to do correctly, to get with these sexually attractive white women , I am not loud or overly aggressive like your typical black guy, far from it , I dress nicely and I approach women with good conversation ,these women just like to discriminate or give you an excuse about them having a boyfriend, or there just not interested, it happens that way all the time ,like i said its a cold harsh reality out there for the average black guy, you said it yourself we have a lower success rate, so get use to it,some black guys are just luckier than other black guys, I see it all the time, anyway its a lot of bullshit out here , especially where I am located in Washington , DC , here its all about being in the right social circles or the right place at the right time, to have any chance of nailing hot white chicks. seems like it takes a lot to stand out and be noticed and not invisible to these women as a black guy.
carmichael reid 2016-02-02 14:23:59
No sir I cant completely agree with you BD, I have tried everything from going after what i want, without being needy or creepy or intimidating , to the point of embarrassment and that’s not good for a black guy, if my game needs an adjustment, then do tell me what I am failing to do correctly, to get with these sexually attractive white women , I am not loud or overly aggressive like your typical black guy, far from it , I dress nicely and I approach women with good conversation ,these women just like to discriminate or give you an excuse about them having a boyfriend, or there just not interested, it happens that way all the time ,like i said its a cold harsh reality out there for the average black guy, you said it yourself we have a lower success rate, so get use to it,some black guys are just luckier than other black guys, I see it all the time, anyway its a lot of bullshit out here , especially where I am located in Washington , DC , here its all about being in the right social circles or the right place at the right time, to have any chance of nailing hot white chicks. seems like it takes a lot to stand out and be noticed and not invisible to these women as a black guy.Washington DC is filled with plenty of ambitious 'alpha' girls (of all shapes and colors). Try running for office. =). Seriously, brush up on your public speaking skills, take a class, don't try to meet girls while doing it. Show that you're focused and dedicated. White girls fuck no different than any other girl. Black men in action doing shit is an aphrodisiac. Rather than day game, where they know exactly what you're up to. I repeat (white) girls can see desert thirsty brothas from a mile away. (White) Women LOVE to chase brothas who are creating a life for themselves. The main take away is you have attract crowds towards you. White girls love crowds. Be the star of the show. That is a trait black people have over every other race. We're showstoppers if we choose to be In Power Centers like SF, NYC, Wash, LA it's critical for blacks to differentiate themselves by being showstoppers and not another schmuck working for the machine. Watch those old blaxploitation films. Kinda like that. Vision is a turn on too. Blacks with status. Which can be learned but moreso earned and the pay can be ridiculous. Any man can goto Barneys and buy expensive clothes. You need more command from the sounds of things.
carmichael reid 2016-02-02 14:45:19
I would have sex with a high sex driven colored woman [and maintain my alphaness] over a bitchy white woman [who betatizes me] any second of the day. BD nailed the psychology of women. It's amazing how guys don't see past skin color and ignore critical traits that actually benefit them. DISCLAIMER:Be careful what you ask for. You might just get it and go full-blown beta. Behind Every Fall of a (Black) Man's Empire a (White) Woman caused it. RIP Mike Tyson, Son and The Father, The Holy Spirit.
Antonio 2016-02-02 14:57:45
Thanks for the advice Carmichael, but im an introvert, not the life of the party type of black guy, white women can smell what us black guys are up too? What does that mean? I just like what i like, simple as that, you shouldn't be trying to impress them just to get what you want with them, I'm not sure how effective your advice would be in a place like Washington DC, believe me I've lived here long enough to know, that's why I plan on relocating from here, Black guys don't do well here, unless there status is extremely High,
carmichael reid 2016-02-02 15:04:31
You're mistaken if you think introverts cannot command the public. Most of the best leaders are introverts. But, it seems like you're going into one post that BD wrote that made me laugh about the Unicorn Woman. You're looking for the Unicorn White Woman. I'm not a coach. But I do care about my brothers. Because I've been there. Relocating will not help a bit. Women are the same everywhere. You need to set up a power base where you're from and really start working it. But that's all the advice I can give.
Blackdragon 2016-02-02 15:07:18
No sir I cant completely agree with you BD, I have tried everythingYes of course. You're doing nothing wrong and white women just hate all black guys and it's all about luck and nothing else.
if my game needs an adjustment, then do tell me what I am failing to do correctlyComments on a blog are not the proper format for a detailed personalized analysis. Like I said, hire someone if you need to.
carmichael reid 2016-02-02 15:12:57
white women can smell what us black guys are up too? What does that mean?Black guys are seen as sexual deviants. Whether that's true or not. That's the negative stereotype. So day game and online is really tough for black guys. Don't use this as a excuse. Still be sociable and it's obviously not everyone, but a girl's alert raises up when a black guy hits on her. Period. The best results are when you are commanding/performing for a bunch of people and girls can see it first hand. Pure Confidence! Hypothetically, this why black athletes are so prized. They put on a show. Black artists put on a show. You need to take some of our culture and infuse it into your game. You don't need to be the life of the party. But you need to develop larger than life persona. The girls that reject me, actually disqualify themselves. It's a weird feeling but they rather beat up some beta. But the girls that see it. It's like trying to wipe rubber off a tire.
Antonio 2016-02-02 15:21:55
BD, I was not saying I didn't do anything wrong, but for the most part, i take action , it seems as if u need a strategy with these women ,maybe i havent quite figured out what that is yet, thats why i came to people like you for advice,what I was simply trying to explain to you is the ongoing pattern I see with white women, the majority of the sexy attractive ones that I come in contact with are very bitchy , cold and they discriminate before even getting to know a particular black guy, they havent given me a chance, I wouldn't be saying this if I wasn't experiencing it, I have yet to meet one I find attractive that doesn't do this, remains to be seen, but again I don't take women serious anyway, thanks for your advice and for what your doing here
eddie 2016-02-02 15:23:51
@Antonio.... Dude ATTITUDE is EVERYTHING... listen to what BD and Carmichael is advising you. If your attititude is not confident you're not going to win the girl over. Women pickup on vibes, in other words, chemistry. Good vibes only comes from a place of positivity. And, it's not just what you say, but how you say it. Women hate bitchy, whiny, negative dudes. So let your conversation be postive and aspirational. Dude all women, especially white women, loves a dude who is successful. There's no way you're doing all the things you say you're doing and NOT having success (period). Yes, sometimes it's a numbers game but at the end of the day... Girls are Attracted to SUCCESS and STAUS but Addicted to STRENGTH and POWER. You have a lot of negative thinking (maybe subconscious) when it comes to girls. You seem to have a serious inferiority complex when it comes to white girls....you can only overcome this through experience. Obviously, based on your past results, you're a miserable failure doing it your way.... what you really need to do is hire a dating coach (preferably someone who is living the success you want to live...i.e. a Black guy dating white girls). Right now, you have some serious Blind Spots and some self-delusions going on, meaning you're on the inside looking out and just like every driver has a Blind Spot, there's no way you can accurately self-assess your situation.....we're always referencing how emotional women are, well peep this, men are egotictical. Your ego is your Achilles heel right now. Solution: Quit sabotaging yourself. Invest in your success and get yourself a Dating Coach. I'll leave you with something I live my life by... My MENTALITY determines My REALITY. Hope this helps.
Antonio 2016-02-02 15:34:46
Carmichael, all guys are seen as sexual deviants, not just black guys, were all seeking after pussy at the end of the day, call it whatever you want , online, in the daytime doesn't matter men of all races are fucking hungry for sex, looking to fulfill our sexual desires, its only human. Far as my personality goes, its very larger than life, women just dont seem to notice it, lm not trying to impress women here, Im not in a position to do that, I'm not gonna be someone I'm not. But again thanks for all the advice , I will see what works and what doesn't
Antonio 2016-02-02 15:45:35
Eddie, thanks for the advice, but your not in my shoes, I'm not being negative nor am I whining, nor do I think I'm inferior, you guys need a reality check, what your saying is all good and well, I appreciate the constructive criticism, but the fact still remains, women can be difficult to interpret, they are very different creatures in terms of the way think and behave , you make it sound like it requires some magic formula to have success with them, we all know what there attracted to those traits u mentioned, I get it. I will work on it.Thanks for the advice
carmichael reid 2016-02-02 15:45:50
all guys are seen as sexual deviants, not just black guys, were all seeking after pussy at the end of the day, call it whatever you want , online, in the daytime doesn’t matter men of all races are fucking hungry for sex, looking to fulfill our sexual desires, its only human. Far as my personality goes, its very larger than life, women just dont seem to notice it, lm not trying to impress women here, Im not in a position to do that, I’m not gonna be someone I’m not. But again thanks forThe Game is different for black people because of the negative portrayals that we have in the media. I have had white women walk to the other end of the street to avoid me. That's what's I think the problem is here. One of facets of game is not to be so Blatant about it. Seduction is Making them want you more than you want them. Judging by what you're saying You want them more than they want you. Fair? Girls actually want sex more than men do. Attraction is Attracting Women To You. Not the other way around. You're contradicting yourself a bit. The Whole Point of Being Larger Than Life is for People To Notice and Gravitate Towards You. Women Choose. Men Pick if they Attract Correctly. Human Survival Depends on it because Women Detect Power in Men Much Quicker than Men Do Themselves. Female's Intuition. The Whole Point of Game is Trying To Attract and Eventually Impress a Woman. When You Are fucking her, you're trying to impress her for repeat business. Good Luck Man. It's not being someone you're not. But how is that working out for you? Personal Evolution is not being someone you're not. On the Contrary. Like Attraction it's Pure Physics.
Antonio 2016-02-02 15:57:23
Carmichael, whats this whole thing about wanting women more than they want you? You have to pursue them as the man right? They have to notice you right, this whole thing about getting them to chase you and desire you more than you wanting them , whos sexual desires are stronger there's or ours? Look I get it , us black guys are portrayed negatively by the media and its fucked up and its frustrating because it pours over into our dating and sex lives, unless we are the exception to the stereotype of course, high status of course, I guess the numbers game is what it is
carmichael reid 2016-02-02 16:08:59
When you're black. Not really. You're not listening. White Women who Love Black Guys. Chase Them. All my Notches Have Been From Girls Who Want The Experience. Most Black guys don't do any work in dating. Black Men Don't Pursue. Girls just come up to us and ask a stupid question and it's repeat business from there. White guys have to do alot of work. Because we're a certain flavour they're craving. Overactive Black Guys are Beta to the Max. It's not a numbers game either. For white guys it's a numbers game. You don't have enough time to play the numbers game. We have to be more selective. It's a Waiting Game. Like I've said in these posts. Women Love or Hate Black Guys. No middle ground. Unless you are extremely courageous and love rejection. While You're Waiting... You need to find an obsession BD calls it a mission and work the trials of tribulations of becoming good at something. Use that and influence your NICHE. Successful black guys know who to hit on and who not to hit on. This is why I'm advising you creating social circles with you as the center of gravity is so crucial. It's a slow but a beneficial long-term process. White girls who have alot of colored friends auto-like black guys. White girls who listen to hip-hop are usually not always into black guys White girls who are athletic more or less respect black guys. Ambitious independent women who need a solid fucking love black guys. Artistic women are attracted to black guys. And if you exude enough power All Women are attracted to Powerful men regardless of Race! Find your niche, be the best at it and women will notice. You can't do this during day game or online. They need to see you live and unplugged! I'm done consulting. Godspeed Young Skywalker
Lovergirl 2016-02-02 16:25:24
What women are looking for from men, and especially black men, is confidence and masculinity. Whether it's cool, calm confidence, or outgoing, social confidence doesn't really make a difference. You have to use whatever stereotypes you can to your benefit, rather than let them work against you. If you are athletic, capitalize on it, but I doubt there are too many athletic black men having issues getting laid. If you are skinny and nerdy, use your SUCCESS to attract women. If you are artsy, showcase your knowledge of all things artistic, or your talent. If you are overweight, you've got to live up to the jovial, social persona. Whatever you do, don't act needy! Don't be whiny. Don't act as though you've ever had trouble with women. Fake it till you make it and act like you would if you'd had them throwing themselves at you your whole life.
carmichael reid 2016-02-02 16:41:57
Did you ever see that Seinfeld Episode where George Did The Exact Opposite and got Results. That's Black Guy vs White Guy Dating.
Antonio 2016-02-02 16:55:24
thanks lover girl for the advice, i hear u , fake it till u make it, , societal programming still gets in the way though and trying to be assertive without coming off as needy to women isnt easy either, trying to find that balance is challenging, all you want is what you desire , not a crime
Antonio 2016-02-02 17:09:20
relocating will help in my situation, DC sucks period and that's that, i know women are who they are everywhere, but i am not staying here in DC for the long term bro, i understand social circles help introduce you, but there not easy to get into or start for that matter, once again i am reserved and introverted, i dont do much small talk, which is required, trying to work on that , not easy though. but anyway i get what you were saying and i appreciate the feedback, hopefully i will figure out what works for me and what doesnt
eddie 2016-02-02 17:10:52
@Antonio.... OK, dude... I find it very interesting you're fighting, defending, arguing for your failure (ego) vs embracing advice from those of us who have been and are successful. All I hear is EXCUSES...whining and complaining about why you can't succeed (and whether you realize it or not-- others hear it too, especially women). Real Talk; No One Feels Sorry for a Black Man. Hopefully, you ask yourself one day...How is it that all these other guys are succeeding, trying to share with their success strategies and mindsets with me, yet for some odd reason, I can't accept it. I'm not here to force success on you...seems like you've made your choice. I learned a long time ago, many people are comfortable in their failure, they almost wear their EXCUSES as a badge of "please feel sorry for me" honor. I think it's their mental crutch to opt out of manning-up and taking responsibility for their own success. It's all good, dude. Seems like no one can help you. It Is What It Is.... I want to say good luck but one can't luck their way to success (at least long-term success)...thay have to quit making excuses, take responsibility, advice and actually work hard for it.
Antonio 2016-02-02 17:28:41
eddie , like i said bro your not in my shoes, u sound like a psychologist evaluating me, you dont know the first thing about me, you have some how came up with your psycho- analysis of me based on my words,i am not defending anything except what i know to be true in society , thats what i have to wrestle with and shake my head at everyday , just telling you like it is i dont care about anyone feeling sorry for me or any other black guy and i dont care about what women can tell about me, people just dont want to accept the fact that society is fucked up in regards to all this shit about race, and dating and our sex lives if it werent an issue there wouldnt be this article on it and we wouldn't be having this discussion, and for your info i am aware of my flaws, we all have them and i am seeking helpful advice thats why i came here not to be criticized and analyzed.
Chris 2016-02-02 18:05:04
My guess is that Carmichael is probably well above average in looks. Anytime a man claims women are chasing him down he's almost always tall and genetically good looking. Giving advice to guys you don't know or taking it from guys you don't know based on their experience is precarious. I've found that most tall and handsome guys are oblivious as to why they are truly successful. I take most game advice with a grain of salt unless I've actually seen the guy giving the advice. If the dude is totally average looking but smashes a lot of tail, I'll listen carefully. If he's a tall pretty boy getting pussy thrown at him, his advice likely won't help me much. When a girl thinks you're hot you don't need any game.
carmichael reid 2016-02-02 18:30:30
C'mon bro. What is with this shit? This is why I could never be a coach. It's not about looks. It's about swagger and ability to control and maintain your target's emotions. Trust Me. 5 Years from Now you'll be in the same position if you think that way. Not every girl comes up to me. I've been rejected so many times it's hard to count. But honestly if you have sex with 3 women in your life, you're above average for most guys. I'm a good looking guy because I believe I'm a good looking guy. I hit the gym and invest in myself to become attractive to myself which results in being attractive others. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. But to girls who are in the market. I'm number one in the niche baby. That's all you need out there. Did you ever see 40 Year old Virgin? Seth Rogen is ugly as fuck. But he knows how to talk to women. It's the same thing. I've seen some real ugly dudes score with chicks. They do it from a pure survival stand point. It's usually the ugly guys who get laid. Take one look at any PUA guy in the manosphere. Ugly as hell. But they know how to carry themselves. That is The Game was Created For Perceived Ugly Guys to get laid. As for relocating you really gotta figure out why you are relocating. Last time I checked DC is a great place for black people to succeed. Places like New York and SF it's really hard. Personally I like a challenge. But, that's not always smart either. If you're relocating for strictly women, you are really in the wrong mindset. You'll be hanging out with Elon Musk on Mars before you find what you're looking for. What I'm trying to get through to you is that stop looking. I wish I could have told my 20 old self that. Girls find you, when you're on the way to success. Especially, Especially, MAKING MONEY. Better Yet Your Own Money. BROKE BLACK GUYS have a tougher time GETTING LAID. You can thank popular hip hop for that one. Rich and on the up, it's much easier, but you don't have to flaunt it either. It's a matter of having good taste. I wear a 7 dollar tee shirt from H and M and get complimented. Hitting the gym in any shape and fashion works wonders for the body mind and soul. Especially for black people because we have a natural physique no matter how skinny you are. You're not going to attract 10s off the bat. No one does. But to blame this on good looks is actually blasphemy. I know plenty of good looking guys who shoot themselves in the foot and base their game on straight looks. Girls tear them people apart. Girls shit test for confidence and courage. That's it. Try making money for yourself and by yourself and your perception of yourself will change. Scarcity is an awful thing for a man.
Black Bull 2016-02-02 18:39:28
@Antonio Man, shut the fuck up and stop your bitching! Your whining makes the rest of us black men look like shit. I've been trolling & I wasn't going to post, but I can't stand cringing while I read about you whining like a little bitch anymore. Man the fuck up, get your game right and start slaying these hoes. Jesus.
eddie 2016-02-02 19:01:33
@ Antonio... no problem..it's all good. I got nothing else for you. @ Carmichael... absolutely great advice and perspective...everything you've said is right on. @ Black Bull... you're funny dude... you just said what everybody else been thinking...hahahaha. At the end of the day, you can't save them all...I say let them eat cake....lol.
carmichael reid 2016-02-02 19:06:07
I love this blog.
nopey mcnoperton 2016-02-02 19:42:29
BD, you need a black friend. TL;DR the 60 plus comments. FWIW: A single, moderately fit (a little belly) brother with a decent (read: almost white collar) job can get practically any woman he wants, regardless of race. Works especially well when you can walk the player/confident vibe. Think Mike Coulter/Shemar Moore vice Taye Diggs because of the baggage. My friends and I have been to eastern europe, far east asia, and south america. You're right, they're not settling down with a brotha, but there's definitely interest in what's in the pants.
Chris 2016-02-02 19:55:11
As an aside, don't some of you guys ever want to be taken more seriously than just being a walking black dildo? I mean I guess if all you want is a lifetime of one night stands and shallow hook ups, you're cool with that. But in a way don't you think it's a bit dehumanizing at the same time that a girl will fuck you but would never want to truly get to know you, your heritage, who you really are or let anybody in her social circle or family know that she associates with you out of shame? If you feel you're a person with good qualities, don't you ever want women to recognize that as well and that there is much more to you than your dick? PS - I'm really enjoying this discussion.
carmichael reid 2016-02-02 20:02:41
As an aside, don’t some of you guys ever want to be taken more seriously than just being a walking black dildo? I mean I guess if all you want is a lifetime of one night stands and shallow hook ups, you’re cool with that. But in a way don’t you think it’s a bit dehumanizing at the same time that a girl will fuck you but would never want to truly get to know you, your heritage, who you really are or let anybody in her social circle or family know that she associates with you out of shame? If you feel you’re a person with good qualities, don’t you ever want women to recognize that as well and that there is much more to you than your dick?Seriously, I felt used for about a second. Then I saw other guys setting fire to huge piles of their own cash on these very same women. I sleep very well at night. I rather be "dehumanized" with a healthy sex life than "humanized" blaming my life on societal programming.
eddie 2016-02-02 20:13:43
@ Chris, where have you been. There are plenty of black guys in marriages and LTRs with women of all races.... especially Whites, Latinas and Asians (Filipinas, Thais and Koreans). This notion of that they're not is a false narrative...just because you don't see it on TV, doesn't mean it's not happeneing. In fact, they are whole dating sites and blogs, with statistics, celebrating this fact. But sticking to the topic...Pick Up Advice for Black guys....it is far easier today to date and romance any girl from any race in America or abroad...the only problem is that Black guy and his negative, limited thinking. My blanket advice (as in everything) is this...Quit making EXCUSES and make it HAPPEN!!!!!
Antonio 2016-02-02 20:35:09
@ blackbull, blackbull fuck you ! you dont shit bra, you should watch your fucking mouth, before you get punched in it, im not bitching about nothing , telling it like it is, you all know how these women are out here, dont act like you dont, like everything is all good, i do try to slang these hoes ,but these hoes arent always the most cooperative either, you take another mans frustrations as him bitching and complaining and making excuses when you haven't walked in his shoes, so i careless what you think of me, you feel me bra and that goes for anyone else on here who has something negative to say about me!
Chris 2016-02-02 20:44:20
@Eddie I actually see lots of black men with white women. Unfortunately 95% of these white women are land whales or fugly. I'm just being real, I can count on one hand the number of times in the last several years I've seen a black dude with a white woman I would actually want to fuck. I also tend to notice that when a black person and white date, the black person is usually at least 2 points above the white person in looks. Like if a white guy is dating a black woman, it's not uncommon that the white guy is totally average looking and the black woman is at least a 7. Or to see a fairly fit and descent looking brotha with a fat ass white woman. The rare times I see a black dude with a white stunner on his arm actually makes me do a double take. I hate saying it because racists white dudes always love to point that out, but quality white women(as far as looks) generally don't fuck with brothas. Or maybe they are on the downlow and nobody knows about it. But as far as being out and about in public strolling arm and arm, I don't really see it unless we're talking celebrities like Seal, Michael Jordan, etc.
Antonio 2016-02-02 20:49:07
BD a good article i found, If you’re a white guy just starting out in the game, you may have witnessed black guys talking to girls of different races with the appearance of making easy progress. Perhaps you wonder if it’s just easier to get laid if you’re black, something I’ve thought of myself before getting into the game. From what I’ve observed in the field over the past ten years, it’s actually harder for a black guy to get with a non-black woman. Many people underestimate that a majority of women are totally closed off to the idea of dating a black man or any other man outside her race for whatever reason. They may have dated a black man once in the past, but don’t have the open mentality that is needed for a newcomer to properly seduce her. On the other hand, the girls who do like black guys will be much more passionate about trying to get with them than a girl who likes white or Latino guys. Let’s say I go out with a black guy to a random club in Argentina. I estimate that ten out of the fifty girls there will be be somewhat open to dating me. I’ll have to work to get them, and my results will vary, but I have a shot with these ten girls. Only two or three out of the fifty girls will be open to dating my black friend, but those few will be much more vigorous in letting that interest be known. They will look at him more and maybe even approach him outright, where I’d have to do my own approaches. Even though he has significantly less options, his chance of closing that night will be higher than mine. Black guys have a more limited selection in potential partners that are outside their race, but they have it easier with a girl who is already predisposed to liking black guys. If you compare a white guy and black guy with equal game and looks, the white guy will slightly edge him out on quality, and the black guy on quantity. To me that comes out as a wash. While I often see hate on black guys for going after heavy set girls, any truth to that can be attributed to their personal preferences of desiring thickness, not an innate inability to scoring higher quality. Unless you’re talking about special situations like a blonde haired guy in Brazil, white and black guys have no significant game advantage over each other.
Black Bull 2016-02-02 20:53:41
@ blackbull, blackbull fuck you ! you dont shit bra, you should watch your fucking mouth, before you get punched in it, im not bitching about nothing , telling it like it is, you all know how these women are out here, dont act like you dont, like everything is all good, i do try to slang these hoes ,but these hoes arent always the most cooperative either, you take another mans frustrations as him bitching and complaining and making excuses when you haven’t walked in his shoes, so i careless what you think of me, you feel me bra and that goes for anyone else on here who has something negative to say about me!Fuck me? Nigga please. You ain't the one doing any fucking from what you're talking about. There you go bitching again by the way. Always worrying about what these hoes are doing instead of worrying about yourself. I've walked in your shoes more than you'll ever know by the way. You'll get absolutely nowhere by complaining & whining like a bitch. Get to work & stop bitching. You got lots to learn bruh.
Seriously, I felt used for about a second. Then I saw other guys setting fire to huge piles of their own cash on these very same women. I sleep very well at night. I rather be “dehumanized” with a healthy sex life than “humanized” blaming my life on societal programming.I agree with this. You see shay whitey spending exorbitant amounts of money/time on these bitches but they want to "try" me for free. These hoes really want masculine black men instead of weak white men, but because of societal conditioning, they just can't admit it because they're too worried how they'll look in society running down the street with me hand in hand. So for now, I'll fuck them on the down low, it ain't like I'm committing to their asses anyway.
Antonio 2016-02-02 21:01:35
That's right bra I said it , take it however you want to take it, if you want to call me out as bitching and whining, call it what u want , call me whatever u want I will still call you out, and like I said you haven't walked in my shoes, u sound like u don't know shit bra, all talk, just putting another brother down, I know what the fuck is going on out here
Chris 2016-02-02 21:24:10
Can we keep it civil here, brothas? Like BD said in his piece, "calm the fuck down!"
Antonio 2016-02-02 21:27:45
im trying to keep it civil, but people on here need to keep there negative comments to themselves , we not on here for that, we had a racial issue here that needed to be addressed and it was. simple as that
Chris 2016-02-02 21:57:23
On a positive note though, I think the best shot for black men with high standards is to get a passport, a location independent income stream and plan to spend a lot of time overseas. I'm currently trying to figure out some setup like this. There's just too much racial baggage in the USA to ever be playing the game at a level playing field. If you're shooting for attractive white woman, being a black man in America is like starting the game 50 points down. You can still possibly win but you have to be that much better than your competition. And that's just no something everyone will be able to overcome. My experiences with white women from other places like Germany, England, Scandinavia, Holland, Australia, France, Spain has been SO much more positive it's unbelievable. I feel like they see me as American first and black second. Sometimes I feel like they don't even notice that I'm black. They just treat me like an individual. Whereas with white American girls, your race is really upfront and a hindrance to just connecting as people. There's a very much a palpable wall I can feel with white American girls. They keep you at a distance, unless they are the type that is really into black guys. But the ones that aren't, they won't even be seen around you. That's a vibe I've NEVER gotten from foreign white women, even from other English speaking places with a similar culture to ours, such as Canada or Australia. I also feel that with foreign white women, they have less expectation for a black man to act stereotypically. European women are also more refined than white American women. They tend to speak multiple languages, act more gently, enjoy cultural activities more(though British women may be an exception here, I'm thinking more continental European). I once met a Spaniard girl in her early 20s that wanted to take me to an Opera. No American girl has ever made such an offer to me. I'm not saying just go to white countries. There's obviously Asia and Latin America too. I've known black men that did very well in Japan despite the stereotypes of Japanese being very racist to blacks. My uncle is married to a Thai woman and lives down there.
Chris 2016-02-02 22:10:42
@Antonio Good post and I get the point you're making. But keep in mind that this same rule applies to white guys too. A lot of non-white women want a white man too. Especially in Latin America where light skin is a prize. So it's not like a white guy walking into a club in Latin America is playing neutral while his black friend gets some extra girls throwing it at him. There will be probably more Latin women trowing it at the white guy too. Now maybe this rule doesn't apply as much if you're in whiter countries like Argentina where you might be mistaken for a local guy. But in Latin countries where people are dark, being white is big advantage.
eddie 2016-02-02 22:16:15
Wow!!!! This is crazy.... guys you need to really chill... it's not worth it. Emotional Intelliegnce is needed right about now. Antonio, I don't think anyone is trying to attack you or berate you. Everyone is trying to offer you advice in their own way...I think sometimes your response makes it a bit frustrating. But, hey..what do I know. Dude, we're all here for the same reason..to learn and grow. No need to get hostile and threatening. On behalf of everyone...if we offended you and hurt your feelings...I'm sorry dude, because that truly wasn't our intentions....like you keep saying..none of us "has walked in your shoes"....so just take a chill pill and DO YOU!!!! All the best!
Antonio 2016-02-02 22:34:48
i agree with you chris, thats why i need to take my black ass overseas, that's why i am waiting to get my passport in the mail, saving my hard earned money and ready to get the fuck outta here, at least to experience something different for a change , get some white girl relief.
Antonio 2016-02-02 22:41:16
no offense taken eddie, appreciate the advice.
eddie 2016-02-03 00:13:34
@Antonio...give us some stats.. how old are you, any kids, physical handicaps, employment status... where do you want to travel.. are you looking for fun or something serious, are you stuck on white girls only or are you open to Latinas and Asians. Because your value doubles outside of America... you're considered exotic and American.
Antonio 2016-02-03 06:17:41
No Eddie, I don't have any kids or physical handicaps, Im a normal average professional working black guy, i can be more reserved and laid back at times, but im a social dude to, but I won't take bullshit from anybody, I speak my mind, very straightforward, i am attracted to particularly Caucasian women or anything with that exotic flavor, thats what i like and thats what i desire, overseas might be a good option for me, seems like where I'm at in the DC area its just not working for me, here as a black dude , no matter how much game i put in , its not the place for me, Im just trying to adjust to it , until i can leave, that's why a friend of mine left and went overseas, seems to be doing good over there.
Gluteus_Maximus 2016-02-03 06:59:09
I looked at the number of comments 75+, and was like wow that's more than usual, I can't wait to read the interesting things black people must be saying about what it's like being awesome. "Game is different for black people because of the negative portrayals that we have in the media. I have had white women walk to the other end of the street to avoid me." - carmichael DAYUMN. As an Asian guy, stuff like that BLOWS MY MIND. For us, it's the complete opposite. We're seen as nonthreatening. Timid as FUCK. This highlights to me the reason why I can DOMINATE -- VERY EASILY -- speaking in street vernacular. To women, it's just funny. Not to mention mesmerizing. It's so funny how you guys face "aww shit he might mug me" and we face "aww look at that cute little Asian boy" LMAO I've spoken to white women, more on the skinny slim model side, and although I've witnessed them swoon in the presence of a finely built smooth talking black man, they've also expressed genuine concern over the actual cock-size. Part fantasy, part fear. But definitely not a 100% "women just love big large cocks" kinda deal that society likes to portray. Which is also another opposite to Asians with our tiny penises. Women won't like you guys for the perception your cocks are too big. And women won't like us Asians for the perceptions our cocks are too small. It doesn't really matter. But interesting nonetheless. Different challenges to overcome.
carmichael reid 2016-02-03 07:03:05
The willingness to turn down sex hence turn down any girl is very empowering. Even and especially when you're dying of thirst. The first step to devaluing the pussy pedestal. Some boring bitches don't deserve my dick. Letting girls know they ain't the only one is one of the biggest weapons in a man's arsenal.
actually see lots of black men with white women. Unfortunately 95% of these white women are land whales or fugly. I’m just being real, I can count on one hand the number of times in the last several years I’ve seen a black dude with a white woman I would actually want to fuck.As for black guys dating fugly whales. This statement ain't original at all. I'm 27 and I think this isn't a race thing. It's a standards thing. Like I said above, Black guys play the waiting game. They may bait a whale or a ugly girl. Majority of men bag girls much uglier women in general. Depending on my mood I turn them down or I don't. Most guys will take anything that comes to them. Regardless of Race. My former social circles which is full of white people is evidence of this.
I hate saying it because racists white dudes always love to point that out, but quality white women(as far as looks) generally don’t fuck with brothas. Or maybe they are on the downlow and nobody knows about it. But as far as being out and about in public strolling arm and arm, I don’t really see it unless we’re talking celebrities like Seal, Michael Jordan, etc.Another unoriginal statement. Maybe her boyfriend doesn't know about it. Girls who are sick of Disneyland come running over for a fucking from me all the time. The thing about Alpha Black Male 2.o is the lifestyle is invisible. The way it actually should be. The Whole Point of this blog is is to be independent and unattrached to women. Quality is hugely subjective. I would rather fuck an ugly face nice body (i don't like skinny) and high sex driven demon "slut" in the sack than a barbie doll model who is porcelain between the sheets any day of the week. Unfortunately due to the high divorce/breakup and dissatisfaction rates. Most White Guys would agree that their *Quality White Woman* shuts down sex. The whole reason for this blog! Most guys assume good looking with consistent high sex drive. Big Fuckin' Mistake. Again another reason for this blog. Landing strictly apperance-hot girls is for high school. Getting a good fuck is infinitely better and should be cherished. If you're basing your observations on two polar opposites: what you see at your dive grocery store and A- list celebrities. Your statement is extremely polarized and irrelevant. Most white women are plain Janes especially in the sack. I like the tigers, the high sex driven passionate women (any color accepted!!). Whatever and however that comes to me. I'm so game. Plenty of guys sacrifice good intense fucking for stable making love. That ain't getting laid. That's going through the motions. and makes my job as a well tuned male alot easier. The whole quest of high sex driven women is worth it. So when Antonio is laying it all on the line for white girls and potentially about to set fire to huge piles of cash to travel and start brand new for sex. There Nothing new is under the sun. High Sex Driven Women Give Powerful Men Clues. One of them is they don't fuck around. Race is just a scapegoat for most people to sound like they are contributing when they are not. You are extremely behind the times. I would say that there is more opportunity for (Black) Guys to Date any *High Quality Sex Driven Woman* if they left race out of the picture and focused on their game.
Antonio 2016-02-03 08:17:43
I agree with u to a certain extent Carmichael, but it doesn't always happen the way you have explained it, you can't take race out of the equation, its always there, take it from me, i have had some seriously discriminating encounters, more than I like to remember, as some point something has to give, your sexually attracted to what you like , you want what you desire, its human nature, then again we cant always have what we want, but where there is a will there's a way.
carmichael reid 2016-02-03 09:32:35
that's your choice. not mine. like i began with this post. i don't date white women. i date high sexual driven women. they are the ones who are attracted to me. i put off that vibe that i know what i'm doing. i don't want anything. wanting is being outcome dependent. i exclude and attract. women do the choosing i do the picking. if white people dont lynch me it's dirt off your shoulder ignorance. if you are getting your heart broken by racist girls who would never sleep with you... only focus on the girls who dig you. girls love me or hate me guess who i focus on. exclusion is huge in black man's game. done.
Antonio 2016-02-03 09:46:09
i dont date them either carmicheal, i just want to fuck them, i understand you know what your doing, i cant always spot the high sex driven ones, most women act like there not thinking about sex, when they are maybe you just have that xray vision to see who is DTF and who is not
carmichael reid 2016-02-03 10:11:39
now that's the mystery. the more you develop yourself, like i said. the more you will see the clues. personally, curious and interested are two different things. girls are fickle. the ones who come on strong are winners. they are committed and usually open for repeat business. i have never had a one night stand except when i lost my virginity at 18. but i still can hit if i want. high sexually driven women aren't passive. they are aggressive. they don't flip their hair and do all that stupid girl shit to make you chase them. thats not investment at all. thats just low self esteem. i guarantee you it will just happen when you don't expect it. that's why an obsession, mission and vision is so important to black people. you need something to preoccupy your mind instead of sex. which will in turn create more sex for you. women can sense that you have sex on the brain and thus provide no challenge and actually activate their anti-slut device much quicker especially for black men. they want to be toyed around with before they have sex. that's anti-game. letting them come to you. PUA artists are too up front. putting the gears to them to build attraction to let them know you know what you're doing and you have done this before. and most importantly can get the job done. i
carmichael reid 2016-02-03 10:15:03
most women don't know if they want a relationship with a black man because there is so much slut shaming in the world. mostly done by white betas. they are so conditioned to not be sluttish that they will forget they have a sexual drive in the first place and go for someone who can provide for them. little do they know.
carmichael reid 2016-02-03 10:27:51
patience is so critical to black guy game it`s not even funny.
eddie 2016-02-03 10:37:45
@ Carmichael, you're spot-on... at 27, that's a pretty good perspective backed up through experience. One piece of advice.... write a Book. It could be entited, "The Top 10 Ways to be Successful with Women." @ Antonio...given that you have a specific fetish for white women, you have very limited prospects. But hey, you like what you like (for whatever reason). Many Black guys have a lot of success in England and Australia (and lately, I heard Sweden). Just a couple of notes... one it's definitely more expensive over there and two...wherever you go, you have to take you with you. So if you don't have Game to get white girls here, you will definitely run into some challeges over there, because success begins and ends with you. But, overall you should fair better...at least on the front end. Meaning, you may get some attention and interests at first (because you're American) but I think you will have a difficult time closing. So brace yourself for a lot of rejection, flakes, friend zones and if you get far enough, LMR. Good luck.
Antonio 2016-02-03 10:39:04
i hear u carmichael, but you dont want to give off that vibe that will make her see you as friend and not a potential sexual prospect, you have to be somewhat physical and assertive to get what you want, i read a article from this girl who said, women want you to come off with that sexual vibe, whether they sense it or your mind or not, im not trying to be her male best friend and as far as patience goes, thats all ive had , but the results are not showing, not yet anyway, appreciate the advice though
Antonio 2016-02-03 10:44:13
carmichael the article Hello hello you =) You wanna know the BIGGEST problem I usually see with men?? It’s not NOT knowing what to say… Or making the wrong moves… Or even being “creepy”… Actually it’s the exact OPPOSITE! A lot of clients of mine…and even friends of mine… Their biggest issue with women is usually the same thing: Some guys REALLY underestimate how badly we ladies WANT you to wanna f*ck our brains out! In fact…the more they like a woman the more they don’t wanna look at her like that… …the more they wanna “respect her”… And then they somehow think respecting her means not showing her how badly you wanna stick your d*ck in her… BIG MISTAKE! You might know it as the Madonna/ Whore complex… Where wifey = shower with love and romance and hand holding… And whorish = ok to bang her brains out… Which couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact when I really like a guy…if he doesn’t immediately show SEXUAL interest in me… I assume he doesn’t like me like that… …and then I ACCEPT that we’re just friends! Anyway, this is coming from another phone call with my infamous friend Aaron lol… He just said to me, “Yeah after I have sex with a girl I can’t look at her as girlfriend material anymore… I just think…I can’t believe you let me do all that freaky stuff to you… Maybe that’s why I can’t get a girlfriend: All the girls I like friend zone me and all the girls I f*ck I don’t want as my wife” Quite a dilemma, don’t you think? Well I’m here to tell you that us ladies WANT YOU to think with your dick when it comes to having us… Because it’s the only way we’re gonna see you sexually… Is if YOU see US that way FIRST. Dogs tip toe around hoping not to disrespect us… And wolves come right in for a bite 😉
carmichael reid 2016-02-03 11:08:39
hear me and hear me clearly As a Black Man I have Never EVER Been Friend Zoned. Maybe once but I fucked her friend after trying to take her to bed. So she was a wing girl in the end. No! It`s either you're a taboo threat, or you`re the man. Black men are polarizing. That's your goal. Assertive is fine if you know what you're doing. But, Honestly, my success has been just going about my day to day business. Live Life Very Exciting. Be Opinionated and Have a Backbone. I'm not sure how black you are, but the darker you are the more calm you have to be or you have to be waaay over the top. No middle ground. End. Full-Stop.
i read a article from this girl who said, women want you to come off with that sexual vibe, whether they sense it or your mind or not, im not trying to be her male best friend and as far as patience goes, thats all ive had , but the results are not showing, not yet anyway, appreciate the advice thoughWhat does sexual vibe even mean? That's so open ended. What has worked for me is that take it or leave it attitude. Being able to walk away from the deal. For instance at the gym there are two sisters who have been eye fucking me. I introduce myself to them. They say hi and be polite. They continue to eye fuck me but something is holding them back. I cannot do anything about this. Nothing I say will convince them of their fears until they come to grips that fucking black guys is not a bad thing. Now they eye from a distance. Curious but not interested. I forget their names. That's being outcome independent. They are in limbo. My sexual vibe? I'm minding my own fucking business. If they want some, come get some. If not I'm setting personal records and building a strong body that helps me make better and more bolder decisions. Girls play hard to get with betas. Productive Patience. Do You Goto the Gym? Are You The Best at a certain Hobby or Profession? Regardless of Introvert or Extrovert Can You Bring VALUE to a Conversation with a stranger? Any guy can talk about stupid shit. Brush up on World Events and Pop Culture. Productive Patience is planting the seed and going about your business and then harvesting the crop. Being Sexy is like being cool, it's either you got it or you don't but someway you gotta redefine what cool or sexy is to yourself first. Because girls are the same but all different. I meet alot of girls and honestly, it's by just not giving a fuck and staying true to my obsession, mission and vision. It's a universal attractor. It won't just get you white girls it will make you feel better about yourself.
carmichael reid 2016-02-03 11:25:51
Antonio, was this written by a girl? Never ever take love advice from a woman. If girls wanted you to fuck their brains out there would be no such thing as going to Jail for Rape. they want you to fuck their brains out when you its convenient for them. Girls who want you to fuck their brains out approach you. They don't play hard to get. How do you get girls to approach you? Did you ever see Good Will Hunting? The Pub Scene is Dating 101. You become the showstopper the girl becomes attracted. Tries to get your attention. But you're so focused that she gives up and comes to you. It doesn't get anymore simple!!! Just don't get oneitis and throw away your whole career for a girl =) If they don't approach. You don't care. You're fine in your own skin and create other situations where you can show off your skills. Tip: every rockstar or artist was a loser beta until they got good at their craft. you're no different. I was no different. No one is different. They just remain at the mediocre level and stop trying to attain Alpha 2.0 Levels.
carmichael reid 2016-02-03 11:52:33
the only fuck ups i have had getting laid is mistaking her approach as being friends. tough life hey? how do you know a girl likes you? she approaches you or reciprocates your initial approach. anything less and you're seriously behind the eight ball.
Blackdragon 2016-02-03 11:53:02
Best I've seen on this black / white dating stuff, from a black man: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bv6vdOcehgc
eddie 2016-02-03 12:52:53
The funniest shit, ever. And, so true on so many levels. I knew this would be a touchy topic...6 months from now, peeps will still be commenting on this post.
Chris 2016-02-03 12:55:39
@carmichael A lot of the stuff you say sounds like pie in the sky PUA hype talk. Just being honest. Even if you are right, you come across like one of those PUA coaches from the mid 2000s trying to rope guys into a $3000 boot camp preaching that even an ugly and deformed midget will slay models if he has game. That's just the way it comes across.
carmichael reid 2016-02-03 12:59:51
A lot of the stuff you say sounds like pie in the sky PUA hype talk. Just being honest. Even if you are right, you come across like one of those PUA coaches from the mid 2000s trying to rope guys into a $3000 boot camp preaching that even an ugly and deformed midget will slay models if he has game. That’s just the way it comes across.Funny thing is I don't do this for a living or make any money from this and never would want to make money from this. I'm just providing the facts of how I live my life. I'm a fullstack systems software engineer. I make more money doing what I do in my sleep. $3K? try $30-40K for conferences...
Antonio 2016-02-03 13:12:36
Carmichael, I hear your philosophy, but to each his own, what may work for you , may not for me and vise versa, when I said vibe , just like u mentioned, I meant what you can sense, if shes open minded or closed minded when it comes to your approach, by the way did you read that article I posted, like you said either there down or not, but in my experience as a black guy, there curious or there cold
Antonio 2016-02-03 13:18:48
I hear what your saying Eddie, but I rather take my chances overseas, because its not happening here, simple as that, I said I particularly like white girls, not only white girls so I wouldn't limit myself and I have been through enough rejection, flakes and friend zone bullshit to know its all part of this game with women , no matter where I go, but some places are just better than others, simple as that, some women are better than others
eddie 2016-02-03 15:00:21
@ Antonio..totally agree. Even in the U.S. West coast girls are different than girls from the East, South or Midwest. What's even more notable is the differences in girls while in their 20s vs 30s. But what is it about white girls that makes you so obessed over them? Does being with one make you feel more special, as if you're better than the average Black guy or is it a way of feeling equal to white guys because you have their precious little princess. Is it a form of self-hate, where deep down you're envy of white guys and want to be like them... or is it (as BD has alluded to) societal programming that you believe they are at the top of the beauty hierarchy and by having one, therefore you have achieved some special status. Or, is it simply coming from a place of pure, simple attraction and fantasy. Just curious, because those of us who've had plenty of experience with them can tell you they're nothing special, They are the most emotionally unstable, pill-popping, pretentious, materialistic, depressed, always bitchin' & complainin', nagging, bitter, spoiled-entitled, litigious, laden with personilty disorders chicks on the planet. And, I might add...the most driest in bed and the most difficult to make cum... which by the way has very little to do with the men and everything to do with them being the highest user-group of dildos from their teens years on. Scientific studies have shown that the constant vibratory friction from dildos has causes a numbing and destruction of the vagina's nerve endings, thus leading to an unability to reach orgasm through natural means....they are now developing drugs based on these studies, to help (white) women feel natural again during intercourse. Personally, I think they're cool (because afterall they are women) but they're not at the top of my list. Your thoughts, please...
eddie 2016-02-03 15:27:53
Hahaha, I predict this post will get oer 100 comments.
Chris 2016-02-03 15:33:17
As for me, I'm not exclusively attracted to white girls, but I think on the whole I like their physical features best. Especially if we're talking about Eastern European or Southern European. I also tend to have way more in common them as far as interests and lifestyle go. I think there are beautiful women of every race. I think some races have a greater amount of attractive girls than others.
Lovergirl 2016-02-03 15:40:35
This is comment 103...so....
Lovergirl 2016-02-03 15:43:02
I hate when I hear black men bitching about black women (and I'm white). If you can't deal with black women it usually just means you are weak, which isn't attractive to anyone.
eddie 2016-02-03 16:22:29
Hahaha..Lovergirl goes all in. Truth is Real. I keep trying to tell guys (especially black guys)..stop your moaning and groaning, nobody wants hear that shit, but they're quick to play the blame game, defend, deflect, argue and attack (which by the way is very feminine). I think what's missing in this converstaion about why many black guys are so weak and bitchin' all the time is yes, they're frustrated because they can't get what they want from black women but more importantly, many of them have been raised by single mothers. I dont care what black women say...they can not raise a boy to be a man..all they do is effeminize him. On a whole, blacks are already more emotional, passionate beings but when you add the feminine-influenced rearing...very few black men know how to apply patience and strategy when it comes to women. Therefore, some think it's easier to deal with white women or asian women because they falsy believe they would be more cooperative, not understanding at the end of the day...all women, regardless or race and space, respect strength and power not some whiny, bitchy dude.
eddie 2016-02-03 16:26:28
Chris, I agree... in spite of some negative traits, white women do have plenty of positives as well...feminine featues, social status, affirmative action and good credit..hahahaha (Chris Rock reference).
Antonio 2016-02-03 16:37:52
Eddie, I'm going to tell u this for the last time bro, I'm trying to be cordial here, that I am particularly attracted to white women, its human nature , you like what the fuck you like, it doesn't matter how much you question me about this I will still give you the same answer, I'm not obsessed with them , personally I think white girls are very stuck up, but I love there sex appeal, I love the physical part of them , not the rest, no I don't hate myself, hate black women or my race or any of that bullshit u keep asking me, why do women like bad boys , why do you like what u like , who the fuck knows because we all just do, like I said I am open to women of all races, but I know what I like when I see it, just like u and anyone else on here , okay !
Antonio 2016-02-03 16:46:52
Lover girl, who are you to call a man who has his struggles with women as weak, u women have weakness and flaws as well , that men don't find attractive, what makes u so perfect, I can point out a lot of things that women do that makes no fucking sense whatsoever. All I hear is men fail to do this and that and we wander why women don't find us attractive , I guess that goes both ways , its not just about what women want,
Chris 2016-02-03 17:30:28
That white woman in here claiming black men are too weak to handle a strong black woman, lol. Strong woman = masculine woman. I feel no gut level attraction to strong women. There's a difference between being afraid of them and finding them undesirable.
Shanghai Bobby 2016-02-03 18:07:17
Best example of a well dressed black guy is Will Smith when he was in Bad Boys II, rocking up with that purple suit. So sick - makes me wanna get a purple suit just like it! P.S. Really keen to see what your Asian one is going to be like BD
Gluteus_Maximus 2016-02-03 20:23:00
"Best example of a well dressed black guy is Will Smith when he was in Bad Boys II, rocking up with that purple suit. So sick – makes me wanna get a purple suit just like it!" No homo (I'm a sculptor -- LMAO, but I actually have a list of males I use for references), but just to add on. Idris Elba and Mike Colter (I can't tell if the photo BD used at the top is Colter, or an extreme lookalike). Idris Elba is just a complete badass. Never seen an interview but judging by the characters he chooses to portray. His performances. Overall very attractive man, anatomically/feature-wise, demeanor. I know that if I were a woman, I'd be working my way up to get a mothafucka like dat. And I, too, am looking forward to the Asian installment of the series.
Lovergirl 2016-02-03 21:31:04
Antonio- I didn't call a man " who has struggles with women" weak. I said if your reason for dating white/Asian women is because you can't handle a black woman, that is weak and its not attractive! If you want to admit you are attracted to white women for whatever characteristics we have, great, but stop acting like its because big bad black women have beat you down! That is such bullshit! I suspect many black men use this as an excuse because they don't want to admit they are attracted to white women for other reasons and they feel shamed about it. Still, its doing a disservice to black women to act like it is somehow their "fault". It isn't. I've known black men that have never dated a black woman, simply because black women never showed interest in them. The black women they knew thought they were too "soft" and nerdy or whatever. At least they are accepting this and that it might have something to do with their own personality and demeanor and not totally passing blame. I've known guys that date pretty much solely white women because that is what sexually attracts them. It's polarizing. Others grew up around a lot of white people and just felt more comfortable. Or like a lot of guys in my smallish hometown, they dated white girls because they were related to 60% of the black girls and there were more to choose from. (I've noticed several of the black girls I grew up around ended up with white men too, though not as many as the guys who dated inter-racially).
Antonio 2016-02-03 22:07:38
Lover girl , could u please calm down , my reason for being attracted to white females has nothing to do with black women beating me down, i like all women , including black women, regardless of how i may have been treated by them ,what i dont like is drama from women of any race ,what the hell are you all talking about on here, how many times must i tell you , i just love attractive white females, i always have , thats what im attracted to ,how hard is that for you all to understand, im sure you like what you like for whatever reason, its just that they are not as receptive to me as i would like for them to be, many of them discriminate , when it comes to meeting black guys, before even getting to know some of us because of societal programming.
Buzz 2016-02-03 22:09:13
OK another Waco comment from a guy so white he gets 3 rd degree sunburn in 15 minutes. A large percentage of white women have a desire for black men but light half and half women ( their mother was white, father black) want white men not black men True or False? One just fell in my lap and that is what she said.... She was one third my age too 🙂
Gil Galad 2016-02-04 07:06:13
@Antonio I might've figured out why you're having trouble with women from your numerous comments: you're extremely - and I mean extremely - beta. I'm not saying this to piss you off, I might actually help you in the long run. Why are you so insecure ? A few people here were somewhat critical of what you've been saying, and they expressed it. Why do you feel the need to keep answering and answering like this ? It's been a cycle of you getting pissed, then justifying, then appeasing, and then all over again. If even 10% of the insecurity you're showing here is visible in the woman part of your life, then the cause of your struggles is already obvious. Do yourself a favour and don't answer my comment, or just give me a laconic "You're wrong", full stop, assuming you disagree: that's a first step towards being a bit more alpha instead of being so defensive.
Antonio 2016-02-04 08:21:04
Gil, I hate to break it to you , but I really don't care about your comments or evaluation of me being a so called extremely beta man and insecure, i know what my insecurities are and i deal with them,what a good analysis of me, since you don't personally know me , and I'm not saying this to be defensive, all you people do is judge on here, have you listen to yourselves laletly, someone is telling what they experience on a daily bases with regards to his race and women of other races, and not to be playing a race victim here, it just is what it is, but I'm getting use to it and you continue to criticize and ridicule the person, I really don't give a shit about what you have to say, you havent walked in my shoes and I'm sure you will say to yourself I knew he would write me back trying to defend himself, since your so alpha, you shouldnt be on here wasting your time with extreme betas like me, you know me very well, get the fuck outta here man
Carmichael Red 2016-02-04 08:34:50
BD, do you think black betas have it harder than asian betas or indian betas or white betas or all betas treated equally in society?
eddie 2016-02-04 09:49:28
@ Antonio... your response is exactly what Gil and others are talking about. Dude, if you could, just step back and look at how many of us have reached out to try to help you. You shouldn't take offense, you should take what you can use and say thank you, if it doesn't fit, fine just keep it moving. But when you respond like this, you come off as BUTT hurt or real sensitive and feminine...like a little bitch (don't get offended, I didn't call you a Bitch, I said you can be percieved as one--- see how I have to add a disclaimer because you're all in your FEELINGS). You have to take into account...you're not paying for any advice here..this is all FREE... so be grateful and thankful that any of us are giving any attention to your concerns... it's just a bad look dude to attack those who are trying to help you- even if you disagree with their advice (which you did ask for in your very first comment (in which you totally contradict yourself). Anyways, keep in my, our helping you doesn't benefit any of us any monetary value...we do it out of the kindness of our hearts..and this is how you say thank you. As for me...I'm done trying to help you. I can't respect someone who is so disrespectful and ungrateful to other people trying to help them but I will say this..this is the best, most authentic blog out there...your being here, indicates some measure on your part of an agreement or resonation with BD's perspective.... if you're really serious about improving your dating life, (and I don't get paid for this) you should invest in BD's coaching program...here's the link http://www.coachingwithbd.com ... (again, I don't get paid for suggesting this and BD didn't put me up to it... I just think this is what you really need in your life, right now).
elite 2016-02-04 10:06:21
A comedian who I forget the name once said this and some of my friends think it is true. The position of white females pussy is different from black women. Soon as he said it I was like yeah, that is true lol it's like the position within the pelvis is at a different angle lol
Antonio 2016-02-04 10:58:49
Eddie, you and the others on here , who keep , sending me message after message about be bitching and moaning, being sensitive is getting nowhere, where are u from anyway bro? What race are u? I wish u could step into my shoes for a day and be where I live and deal with what I deal with everyday, I don't want your advice if its not helping the situation, I don't care what u or anyone on here has to say if its not going to help me, I have common sense to know what the fuck is going on in society and I will stick to what I see and believe , take it however u want to, race is an issue for me when it comes pursuing women of other races, I get this bullshit from a girl I know of a different race all the time, so I know what I'm talking about here
Carmichael Red 2016-02-04 14:49:53
@Antonio and any coloured guy who seems to struggle with white women due to race... If there was a magic wand that could transform your race to a White Alpha would you switch to be more attractive and have sex high quality white women? It's a yes or no answer.
Lovergirl 2016-02-04 15:28:06
Antonio- my comments weren't meant to be saying those things necessarily about YOU. You had already stated that wasn't your reason for liking white girls and that is fine. I was just jumping on a pet peeve. 😉 For what it's worth, I tend to find black men more attractive than white guys, overall. Of course there are attractive white guys and unattractive black men, but about 8 times out of 10 I prefer the black guy. There are other white women out there who view things the same way (and a lot of black women, some Latina women as well- not sure how many Asians but I'm sure they are out there). It's a matter of taste, like anything else. One thing you can do is learn how to pick up on clues that a white woman fancies black men. I have a feeling you aren't very good at this or you wouldn't be complaining. I know a black guy that lives in Washington DC that I am pretty sure is CLEANING IT UP with white girls, lol! Granted, he is good looking, (mostly) in shape, and has a job as a paralegal for a major corporation. He's also a single dad, but the women I have seen him date have been pretty hot. One of the first questions a lot of black men ask me is if I have ever dated a black man before. It makes me roll my eyes a little but I can see why it would be beneficial for them to know. If I have, then I am going to be much easier for them. Learn how to pick out the women who PREFER black men first, then you can start trying to work on women who have never "gone there". You're confidence will be built up and it will show. It's a myth that only fat, ugly white girls that try to "act black" are interested in black men. I am none of the above, but I did grow up in a home where my stepfather was black, wayyyy back in the 80's when interracial marriages were practically unheard of. My mom was skinny and blonde, by the way- people used to say she looked just like Nicole Brown Simpson (during the OJ trials, lol). I know a couple of gorgeous, slender white women that are married to fat black guys as well, lol. So sometimes maybe its the other way around! Haha If you ever delve into the swinger lifestyle, you'll see that there is a whole inside community of trophy style white wives who fuck a bunch of black men on the side, in front of their husbands. Its really kind of weird, but whatever! I guess it's based in curiosity. I have super white girlfriends who have never dated a black man in their life, out of fear, but that have expressed curiosity in the fact that I do. They say things like "I could never date a black guy but I do find some of them really attractive". So maybe build on that curiosity somehow, when you get to that point.
Carmichael Red 2016-02-04 15:53:03
I have super white girlfriends who have never dated a black man in their life, out of fear, but that have expressed curiosity in the fact that I do. They say things like “I could never date a black guy but I do find some of them really attractive”. So maybe build on that curiosity somehow, when you get to that point.These girls are so 50/50. I've been some white girls' first black guy. It didn't happen overnight (one night stands with curious girls are rarer than a girl who likes black guys). They were usually on my rec sports team, a co-ed or spectator. Proximity with curious girls is huge. Being at the right place at the right time is another factor. The more you don't notice them, and let them shed their own fear that you're nothing to fear. You actually become alot more attractive to them. Or they don't pay you any mind. They usually flat out reject you which you're used to. I'm used it too. Money and Time saved. I always say join a group and get good at what that group offers. That's where the magic is. Anyone who tells you different is not successful with (white) girls. Meetup.com is free to join.
Duke 2016-02-04 16:24:47
Antonio, this video might help as well: Keep your head up and don't take shit too personally.
Antonio 2016-02-04 16:26:16
Carmichael, if I had the option to i would, white guys have an abundance of pussy around them all the time, when I hear them complain I just laugh, if only I could switch places with them for awhile, and enjoy some serious debauchery with white women
Antonio 2016-02-04 21:00:10
Insightful Video Duke, thanks for the advice.
Tony 2016-03-01 17:27:59
Great article! I'm a light skinned black guy living in Manhattan the last five years and agree with everything you wrote. I'd like to add my two cents and ask a couple of questions. A few white women that I'm friends with told me that most white women consider black men to be the most attractive of any race. Initially, this really surprised me, but I've heard it said many times in casual conversations over the years. Hearing that really changed my mindset when approaching white women. Anyway, I've had sex with more white women than any other race and have noticed some things. First of all, European women LOVE me. I banged a number of girls last year and about half were born in Europe. Ranging from countries like England, Germany, Ukraine and Hungary for example. Obviously, all very different cultures and languages. For me, a foreign accent on a white girl has become the new large hoop earrings. I just assume she likes black men if she's European. Have you heard something similar like this before or noticed that during your travels? I'm genuinely curious because I've banged like 90% of the European girls who gave me their number. Just a crazy, crazy success rate far greater than anything else that I've tracked. The second thing I've noticed is that that women from California tend to be into black guys more than any other state. A woman I dated told me there's much more interracial relationships there as opposed to the east coast, which I found interesting. Have you heard that as well? The last thing i noticed is that white woman living in Brooklyn are down. Most of the white women I go out with live there. I see a ton of interracial relationships of all kind there. Thanks for article!
Tony M. 2016-03-01 18:51:43
Good for you Tony, good to hear you've had that kind of success with Caucasian women, you inspire me , can I come to NYC to meet u and get introduced to some of those Hot ass White American or European chicks? Just a thought
tony 2016-03-04 04:51:50
@Tony M I'm always open to meet like minded men. I've become pretty successful with women, but I definitely still have a long way to go. Just a FYI though, I do a lot of my damage via dating apps (tinder, happn, bumble) now. I rarely go out day gaming anymore if that's the kind of thing you were looking to do.
Tony M 2016-03-04 05:54:17
Thanks for the reply Tony, I'm always in the NYC area, day or night, if u have an email to reach you, I'm hardly having any success on any of those apps u mentioned, so your advice would be greatly appreciated, attractive white and European women are my fantasy , so I look up to guys who are actually having success with them. Keep doing whatever your doing, it must be working.
Johnny Salami 2016-03-08 11:43:05
The races are indeed different. There's ample, ample, ample evidence of this. You REALLY have to be sticking your head in the sand to think it's societal programming.
Blackdragon 2016-03-08 13:12:38
The races are indeed different. There’s ample, ample, ample evidence of this. You REALLY have to be sticking your head in the sand to think it’s societal programming.You mis-read the article and didn't read my comments above. Here's a copy-and-paste of what I said above: The vast majority (though not all) of people who are uncomfortable (or flat out dislike) with other races are trained to be so via their cultural upbringing. That doesn’t mean there aren’t clear biological differences between races. Duh, of course there are. My point is these differences have very little to do with the core reasons why people dislike or are uncomfortable with those outside of their race. Usually these people feel the negative feelings first (from their Societal Programming) then do the research to back up the feelings they already have. It’s almost never the other way round.
eddie 2016-03-08 15:16:26
@ Johnny Salami, Johnny, I don't know how familiar you are with BD's work...but I've read quite a few blogs in this so-called manosphere arena and BD is by far and away, the most fair-minded, rational voice when it comes to this subject matter. Almost, without exception, when other guys discuss racial topics, it's as if the logical, rational part of their brains shut down and they become really emotional like females and start arguing and bitchin' and making shit up to protect their fragile little egos....it really reveals how insecure they really are. BD, is the most realistic, level-headed guy I know...so see if you can, check ot some of his other articles in this area.
Success is relative 😉 2016-03-10 07:59:02
Good article! ****LONG POST ALERT As a black guy that consistently gets lots of beautiful white women (all races as a matter of fact) I believe I can chip in with some advice / reiterate what you've already mentioned. 1. Get your education and career handled! Along with dressing well this will guarantee that you come off as a well spoken successful black guy vs a "gangsta". I remember last summer when I walked into a highly end bar with a beautiful brunette from Kentucky on my arm. The level of respect I got from the bar tenders and bouncers was like nothing i had experienced before. I was calm, well dressed, spoke like a well read gentle man and refrained from showing off (a lot of black guys go to clubs and get $500 tables to "flex" and feed their egos). 2. Smile! Most black guys that have been raised in urban hiphop populated culture think that smiling shows weakness. No one wants to a "soft ass nigga". This mindset is usually the main reason black guys scare a lot of girls. I've seen ghetto dressed black guys pull white girls just by smiling and emitting a more friendly aura. You're black, your considered aggressive. Smiling won't make you less powerful. It I fact makes you more powerful. If I could think of an analogy it would be this: "don't be a loud and harsh mustang, be an even more powerful yet quieter and graceful Mercedes". 3. Associate yourself with the right people. Cold approaching is ok but finding these women through social circle (especially in college)!is the way to go. By being introduced through a mutual friend, you've already been "screened/preselected" by the social circle and the girls will have fewer questions in the back of their mind regarding your attitude. 4. Be a well rounded man. If you're on Facebook, having pictures with people other than your own race shows that you are an open minded individual and not bound by culture. As a teenager growing up in an Urban area populated by blacks.. We were often shunned for expressing ourselves / showing and vulnerability. This even went as far as friends making fun of each other for using emojis when texting! I say, loosen up and be human. Drop the tough guy act. Watch movies that expand your knowledge base and expose you to different areas of life. Go to that restaurant you though you were too "cool" for. Order that item on the menu that you couldn't pronounce but have wanted to try for ages! Ditch the typical clubs and spend a weekend kayaking or am something you've thought of as not "cool" but always wondered what it is like. 5. Stay drama free. Don't break the law because having a criminal record of any kind is greatly amplified if you're black, as it further reinforces the obvious stereotypes we do not want to be associated with. 6. Don't loose yourself chasing girls. Black men have this thing (15 to 25 years old) where we usuy waste lost of resources all in the name of "getting the bitches". It's not worth it! Unless you legitimatly collect air Jordan's and expensive designer jewelry, these things will only dent your bank account in the long run. I myself went through that phase back when I was 17 but quickly realized how dumb I was. Buying all this shit I didn't need to impress people I didn't know. Do the opposite, spend money on experiences rather than random expenses and the payoff will manifest years later because you'll have a lot to show for it. Invest>spend. Goodluck!
Tony M 2016-03-10 13:37:47
I believe because of the color of my skin I definitely have a harder time with white women.I definitely think there's a certain pre-conception that you need to break inside someone's head. Sometimes its unfair that ethnic minorities need to have much tighter game (more attention to grooming, health, intelligence, fitness, etc...) than your Caucasian counterparts.
Blackdragon 2016-03-14 23:27:06
I explain the "racism is Societal Programming" thing here.
Franklin 2016-04-07 02:30:11
This was an interesting read and I hope you respond to my comment. I find most of your advice to be what most people assume how a black man should change his game for white women. I'm a non-urban/non-stereotype black man. I see myself as being clean cut and only date white women. It's nothing personal against black women. I'm just not interested in dating them. Black men like me turn off a lot of women from every racial group. I'm not "black enough" for these women. Sure white women fantasize about black men. They mostly fantasize about urban black men in hip-hop culture. Black culture and society promote the hyper masculine black man as attractive. The majority of people who buy rap music are white. White women listen to rap music and they are thinking about those black guys. I had a lot of women black and white, who criticized me for being white. The total opposite of your advice works wonders for black men. Women in general have double standards for white men and black men. A white man have different standards of masculinity. They don't need to be ultra aggressive to be considered a man. Women like slim guys and these guys tend to be white. On the other side, women do not like slim black guys and want black men to be bigger with fat or muscles. I'm a slim black guy and black women often call me boy or child despite being in my mid-20s. White women are more respectable, but still turned off by my non-urban lifestyle.
Blackdragon 2016-04-07 10:04:18
Black men like me turn off a lot of women from every racial group. I’m not “black enough” for these women.Then fuck 'em. Who cares? My lifestyle turns off a lot of people too. I don't care.
Sure white women fantasize about black men. They mostly fantasize about urban black men in hip-hop culture. Black culture and society promote the hyper masculine black man as attractive. The majority of people who buy rap music are white. White women listen to rap music and they are thinking about those black guys. I had a lot of women black and white, who criticized me for being white. The total opposite of your advice works wonders for black men.I agree that mentally that's what's going on, but you're you go all gansta and try to hit on white women, the majority of them will be scared, intimidated, or have their SP violated, so you're not going to get anywhere even if they are secretly attracted to a Little Wayne type. My advice isn't to act white, or act like a skinny black nerd like Urkel. It's to act like a black man but snap it up a little. Think Shemar Moore instead of Flava Flav. Your overall odds for actually having sex with white women will be higher.
Women in general have double standards for white men and black men. A white man have different standards of masculinity.True.
NewAndImproved 2016-05-02 16:47:14
Some interesting thoughts in this thread. I think the earlier post about the importance of social circles is right on the money. As a black guy, it's tough being "random." That's when all that outside baggage gets imposed on you. When I'm within the networks that I'm lucky to have from college and my professional field, a lot of the disadvantages that have been mentioned go out of the window. There's an assumption that you're just a cool dude and you don't have to (over)explain anything. Cold approach is harder but nowadays I feel like at my level of game I do fine in that context too, as well as when it comes to online dating. Still, I feel like I have to refute certain things, and not just from non-black women too. One note on online dating: I clean up with attractive, well-educated women of color. Black women sure, but also Asian women. I had a limiting belief that Asians on the West Coast don't like black men but that's gone out of the window now. I have some pretty strong opinions on race and racism, but I'll mostly put those aside except to say that I'll concede that perhaps certain racial preferences are hardwired. However, the past 500 years of history matters, too and much of that history is based on a lie. Let's unlearn all that brainwashing and stigma first and then we can actually distinguish what's "natural" from what's "not." I spent several months studying abroad in France with mostly white women, and half of them (the hotter ones and the ones who came from money) were indifferent and/or unfriendly to me. They were there to find European guys and I did my thing with French and other European women. And yet, when the timing was right, several of these women ended up in my bed. And this was when I was just starting out. On the other hand, I feel like black guys and guys overall need to learn when to pull the chute. There are certain women that just for whatever reason won't do x y z with black men. Maybe they'll flirt with you but not kiss you. Maybe they'll kiss you but not sleep with you. Maybe they'll sleep with you but not date you. And so on. As guys, we need to be keenly aware of that point of no return and move on with minimal butthurt. Social pressures are strong and women often get the short end of the stick when it comes to this particular brand of shaming. Finally, one note on "what kind of black man" to be, for lack of a better word. I'd say being layered is the best for any man period. I've never been street, am introverted, speak better than most people period, and give off an artsy/intellectual vibe. But I'm also athletic, competitive, and over the years have developed an edge. The stuff about being black or too black isn't really on my radar. Reality is deeper than that.
joelsuf 2016-05-17 06:53:22
Think classy and cool, not badass or gansta. Don’t be quite as aggressive. Talk a little more softly. Be a little more polite. Avoid ebonics and talk like what a white girl would be accustomed to hearing. Just calm down, you bastard.IMO the "Broke Ass Nigga" persona is one of the most beta things I've seen and I have been privy to some reeeeeeal beta shit in my life. A lot of these types shop at my job for their cigars and booze and they get SO butthurt over the stupidest shit. They are more addicted to drama than the white sorority girls who they cringe out lol. They catcall chicks from their cars and stuff (got nothing against catcalling but Jesus Christ but the way these cats do it they should be arrested for being retards not for catcalling lol) and think they are gonna get contact info and lays lol. Then, like that Antonio character in this thread, they complain about it. Even worse, some of them start going MGTOW and turn into thugged out black versions of Elliot Rodger (which is why I don't talk to black men the way I do my buddies of other races, they take my smartass remarks way too seriously and I don't wanna get shot lol). They can't even get black chicks and black chicks are horny af where I'm at (SO horny in fact that 1/3 of them have an STD where I'm at lol). And then you have the "oreo" black dudes, who are far and away the most beta (and drama addicted)specimens I have ever been in contact with. But crazy part is if an oreo black dude isn't beta and drama addicted they ARE game lol. One of my best buddies one and bless his soul, he is the whitest black dude I have ever been around. He isn't as insecure as the broke ass niggas, but boy does he catch feelings quick. We joke about it now, but it was pretty bad. He's been doing a lot to address this because he knows how unhealthy it is now. I work with an oreo black dude and chicks literally pass up walking up to my line to go to his, there's nothing I can do about it lol. And he has a decent looking Hispanic gf as well. Lucky bastard. My stepdad is black and we joke about these black archetypes all the time, mimicking them even. He absolutely despises modern day hip hop which preaches about getting money and bitches but also preaching white knighting their pants off at the same time. He says its a mixed message that just makes black dudes more sexually frustrated and I agree. I think the one thing that can help black dudes the most is to stop listening to hip hop of today which just revolves around chest beating and flexing.
Antonio 2016-05-17 15:45:02
Joelsuf, had a chance to read you your thread, you mentioned my name in it, heard your remarks, dont worry i wont bitch and complain and take offense, you pretty sound like the rest of these dudes on here, who think there the shit when it comes to women, so tell me Mr. Alpha Male , what makes you such the ladies man , since you and the other so called alpha dudes on here are getting pussy left and right, you guys talk a lot of shit you probably cant back up
joelsuf 2016-05-17 17:23:00
Well...that was predictable.
Oop 2016-05-19 14:50:07
" It’s biological; human beings tend to be more attracted to other human beings of the equivalent race." I disagree heavily. I'm a white guy, and I've noticed that women of color ( unless bound by a strong societal or religious reason ) are ALL highly attracted to white men. Yes sure there are some random women of color who might genuinely be not attracted to white guys, just like there are white women who only date black men - but it's rare. I would say if you are a white guy, you are not bound to any specific race if your game is good. All women are open to receiving a sales pitch from a white guy. On the other hand if you are black for example many women will automatically disqualify you just because you are black - even if your very handsome and have strong game. The same goes for white women. Pretty much all men are into white girls. Men of color usually regard getting in bed with a hot white girl as a super score.
Mike 2016-05-19 15:42:08
Than you Oop, I agree with you, us black guys are completely disqualified for just being black in the eyes of white women and women of other races and ethnic backgrounds, unless of course we are of high status or we are extremely exceptional in there eyes, whatever they consider that to be. its really fucked up if you ask me, which makes us the least desirable race of men, even though there is still hidden fantasies women of other races have about us as well as curiosity about us and they do fuck us in Porn, which is a plus ,other than that were limited to take whatever we can get. Its a damn shame.
Blackdragon 2016-05-19 20:26:55
I disagree heavily. I’m a white guy, and I’ve noticed that women of color ( unless bound by a strong societal or religious reason ) are ALL highly attracted to white men.ALL of them? I have not noticed this. I know many black women who have zero interest in white guys, as just one example. A few Hispanic women too. Though I'll cede that Asian women love white guys; oh yeah.
kawler 2017-01-11 11:52:56
It’s biological; human beings tend to be more attracted to other human beings of the equivalent race.This is junk science. The factors that affect attraction are mainly who you are surrounded with while you grow up. Although there may be some attraction to your same race due to being surrounded by family members that look similar, there's no biological guarantee that you will be attracted to the same race. Most racial preference in dating is a result of segregated communities (only seeing the same race over and over). Cultural factors are also extremely important since they will be reinforcing stereotypes that a person may find attractive/unattractive. Attraction also isn't fully static, for example moving into different communities will awaken different looks that a person finds attractive. For example, although I grew up in a mostly white area, when I went away to college I found a lot more Asian, Indian and mixed race girls who were attractive.
Blackdragon 2017-01-11 12:40:30
This is junk science. The factors that affect attraction are mainly who you are surrounded with while you grow up.I'll say it again. Human beings tend to be more attracted to the people of the same race. Are there many exceptions to this? Of course. Is upbringing a strong factor? Of course. Is biology also a factor? Based on the stuff I've read, yes, at least to some degree. How much of a factor is biology as compared to upbringing? I'm not qualified to answer that, and I doubt you are either.
Mezan 2017-05-14 10:36:40
Another black guy here @Success is relative 😉 Do you have any particular process for seducing women or getting them attracted to you and willing to see you after you meet them on a cold approach or from social circle? @carmichael reid You mentioned that getting girls in college was easy. How did you do it in college what made it easy and how could you have done better? Thanks guys
dan 2017-10-25 07:32:53
On a positive note though, I think the best shot for black men with high standards is to get a passport, a location independent income stream and plan to spend a lot of time overseas. I’m currently trying to figure out some setup like this. There’s just too much racial baggage in the USA to ever be playing the game at a level playing field. If you’re shooting for attractive white woman, being a black man in America is like starting the game 50 points down. You can still possibly win but you have to be that much better than your competition. And that’s just no something everyone will be able to overcome. My experiences with white women from other places like Germany, England, Scandinavia, Holland, Australia, France, Spain has been SO much more positive it’s unbelievable. I feel like they see me as American first and black second. Sometimes I feel like they don’t even notice that I’m black. They just treat me like an individual. Whereas with white American girls, your race is really upfront and a hindrance to just connecting as people. There’s a very much a palpable wall I can feel with white American girls. They keep you at a distance, unless they are the type that is really into black guys. But the ones that aren’t, they won’t even be seen around you. That’s a vibe I’ve NEVER gotten from foreign white women, even from other English speaking places with a similar culture to ours, such as Canada or Australia. I also feel that with foreign white women, they have less expectation for a black man to act stereotypically. European women are also more refined than white American women. They tend to speak multiple languages, act more gently, enjoy cultural activities more(though British women may be an exception here, I’m thinking more continental European). I once met a Spaniard girl in her early 20s that wanted to take me to an Opera. No American girl has ever made such an offer to me.Hey Chris this post is right on the money. How old are you, and how long did it take you to realize that outside the U.S., meeting women is a lot easier for the average black man. I believe that all these young black guys (hell, asians too) should travel to Europe and experience how much better dating will be for them... even if it's only once. Cheers.