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Q&A, Various Updates: TRT, Sampson, Etc
Today is a list of various questions that a lot of you have asked about. None of them warrant an entire blog article, so instead I thought I’d just run through all of them here. How are things going with your TRT? You haven’t talked about that lately.
-By Caleb Jones
The only change is that about a year ago or so, sperm count came back. Not all the way, but a significant amount. GOD DAMMIT! So TRT didn’t turn out to be a very good male contraceptive, at least for me. However, every man’s body is different, so just because that happened with me doesn’t mean it will happen with you.
I was checking my sperm count on a regular basis, and one day, they were back. Very sad. My sperm count is still lower than before I started TRT, but I’ve got plenty of swimmers now as compared to the zero or near-zero I had when I first started the program.
As to why it happened, your guess is as good as mine:
1. There was NO change in my shots or dosages.
2. There was NO change in the supplements / vitamins I was taking.
3. There was NO change in my overall testosterone or estrogen levels. My LH and FSH levels may have changed; not sure on that, but if they did, I couldn’t tell you why.
4. There was a change in my diet, but I’m always experimenting with that. Not sure if that had any effect on it. (I doubt it.)
There was literally no change in my routine at all. My doctor didn’t have any definitive answers either. My body simply adjusted I guess. I guess I should be impressed(?).
This goes back to why its so important that you regularly check your sperm count when on TRT. If I hadn’t been doing this, I could have gotten someone pregnant. Regardless, my opinion of TRT has not changed, and I strongly recommend it for men over the age of 35 if they need it (and most men will).
Will there be a sequel to Sampson and the Wizard?
I promised that I would write a sequel to Sampson and the Wizard if I sold enough copies on its release weekend. I sold a lot of copies and I’m very pleased with the sales, but it didn’t quite hit the goal number that I had in mind to make it sequel-worthy.
However, in terms of positive feedback, Sampson and the Wizard has a higher positive feedback-to-sales ratio than any other book I’ve ever written. I get piles of positive feedback for the Unchained Man, but that book sells thousands of copies. Sampson and the Wizard has sold only a tiny fraction of that, yet the positive email I received was surprising.So honestly, I’m a little torn on this and I’m not sure what to do. Writing a book, even a short one, is a considerable time investment, and I’m a really busy guy these days. I can’t do something unless I know for damn sure it’s going to result in a decent amount of profit.
If any of you have any ideas, let me know in the comments or email me. (One person suggested doing a GoFundMe for a Sampson sequel.) Anyway, I’m all ears for any ideas. What’s the status with you and girlfriend, Pink Firefly? You need to talk more about this.
My post about my OLTR was one of the highest-trafficked posts of 2016. I knew there would be some interest in this topic, but I honestly had no idea how much interest. So yes, message received. I will start posting more regular updates about our relationship.My overall plan hasn’t changed. I plan on moving her in with me some time this year. I will document every step of the process here at this blog so you can learn how to do this yourself, and perhaps dodge any mistakes I make. In terms of us actually getting married, some of you seem to think I’m a moron and that I won’t take my own advice. Trust me, I will. I always do. There are about five different ways one can get “married.” I’ll discuss this more in future posts.
Pink Firefly reads every blog post and every comment at this blog, though she’s a quiet person and rarely comments unless it’s about something she feels strongly about. Because of the level of interest in her, I’ve told her she’s welcome to write her own guest blog post here and she’s considering it.
In terms of when exactly she’ll be moving in, we were just discussing that last weekend. As soon as things get definite, you guys will be the first to know.
Will you be updating any of your other Blackdragon ebooks like you did with the Ultimate Online Dating Manual?
Yes. I am slowly going through and updating every Blackdragon ebook, all six volumes, one at a time. This process will take several years, so you’re going to have to be patient. Until then, the current volumes still work and are still 100% valid; I’m just adding more material to them.I have a very big one planned reasonably soon. Can’t talk about it quite yet though. I’ll be announcing it here at this blog as usual.
How many FBs do you have now that you have an official OLTR?
A few. Honestly, the number fluctuates almost every six weeks or so. I'm slowly working on reducing the number (I just permanently eliminated one a few days ago; a "nice" hard next). My goal is to get the number down to just one, with one backup. That's what I've wanted for many years, and it would be my dream come true. I’m not sure if I can pull that off, but I’m going to try. Years ago, I dropped the number of women I was playing with because my work schedule became so crazy. Sexual variety has never been my motivation anyway; just frequency of sex without absolute monogamy. In all seriousness, one OLTR and one FB on the side would satisfy me for the rest of my life, as long as neither of them ever left.
The problem is that’s not how women work. You always need backups, unfortunately.
Will there be a sequel to The Unchained Man?
1. An Alpha 2.0 business manual
2. An Alpha Male 2.0 manual for younger men
3. An Alpha Male 2.0 manual for older men
The younger men/older men books would just be that, a book each. The business manual will probably be a full-on business kit (that will probably be expensive). As I get closer to one of these, I’ll update you here.
Are you ever going to post on PUA forums again?
On forums, sure, but rarely. On PUA-specific forums, no. The reasons are these:
1. I don’t have the time.
2. Whenever I post on a PUA forum, too many guys lose their minds, turn into poop-flinging monkeys, and want to make the conversation about me instead of the topic being discussed. This makes real conversations difficult or even impossible, and is not fair to the thread creator or readers seeking help.
3. Literally every argument on a forum that would involve me would be an exact duplicate of arguments I’ve already had on forums many times. People forget that I posted on PUA forums, almost daily, for almost seven years. There’s only so many times you want to hear the same Alpha Male 1.0 arguments about defending monogamy, or bashing online dating, or complaining that all I want to do is make money (which is true of course), or screaming about how soft nexting is terrible, or whatever. Every argument to be had about my views on any dating or relationship topic has already been had, many times over. There would be nothing new.
Are you still going to debate Stefan Molyneux?
Stefan is my bro and I’d love to. The trouble is, since the election last year, Stefan did what Scott Adams, Vox Day, Roosh, Mike Cernovich, Wayne Allyn Root, and many others have done and switched from talking about libertarian or lifestyle stuff to Trump Trump Trump TRUMP TRUMP TRUUUUMMMMPP!!!
Seriously, the appearance of Donald Trump on the political scene has forever changed online discourse in and around the manosphere, probably permanently. It’s very profitable, in terms of getting new followers, to exalt our new Lord and Savoir Trump. I’m not very happy about that, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Anyway, now that Stefan’s focus is politics and TRUUMMMPP, my odds of getting in there are a little lower than they were. But I’d still like to do it, sure.
Does your daughter still live with you? How are you going to make that work when Pink Firefly moves in?
Yes, she still lives with me full time. She’s 18 and has her own car so living with her is pretty easy. Being a teenager and Millennial, she’s a lot messier than I am, and we butt heads about that occasionally, but other than that it’s good. She’s an introvert like me and we give each other our space.
Hopefully she’ll be moved out by the end of summer, before Pink Firefly moves in, but we’ll see. It will feel very weird for me to live with a “family” again if Pink moves in before my daughter moves out. I’ll talk more about that when it happens.
Are you going to start doing YouTube videos?!? You keep saying you are!!!
Yes. I have just ordered the first round of video equipment and I have a slew of videos already outlined. We’ll be getting to production by April at the latest. It’s a process, so you’ll have to be patient. I have to do this right; I’m not going to half-ass this which is what most bloggers do with their videos. I also have to double-host with Vimeo because left-wing YouTube loves to censor men like me. Pain in the butt.
I have three types of videos planned:
1. Free classroom-style training videos, available on YouTube and Vimeo.
2. Free casual videos with me talking about whatever, available on YouTube and Vimeo.
3. Detailed technique videos that you’ll have to pay for. I will either integrate those into my membership program or start up a new video-only program.
In the videos, I will be covering all Alpha Male 2.0 topics (women, money, business, finance, lifestyle, international, etc), pretty much everything for a man except fitness, which I’m not qualified to talk about since I’m still a somewhat chubby fuck. Coming soon.Before the videos though, I have another big announcement about something I’ve been hinting at for about a year now, and something many of you have asked about. I’ll be announcing it by the end of February. (You guys in the membership program already know what I’m talking about, but please don’t say anything about it yet. Once I announce, you guys can go crazy.)
That’s it for the items many of you have been asking about! Hopefully that brings you up to speed. 2017 is going to be another heavy year for me, in terms of new things headed your way. 2018 also. Hell, pretty much every year until 2020 or so, but even if things slow down after that, I'll still post at this blog regularly until 2024, as I promised many years ago. After that, I reserve the right to focus on something else. We'll see!
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UK_Player 2017-02-02 05:31:41
Keep up the good work BD. Look forward to the videos.
forum watcher 2017-02-02 06:52:30
I clicked the "six books" link and saw six texts on dating/love, zero on making money. Where's your book about business?
Eddie 2017-02-02 07:43:00
BD, one of the main reasons I follow you is because of your high level of quality. When you produce your YouTube videos, can you post a blog or video on what tools and techniques you use? ...Thanks.
Orren To 2017-02-02 08:46:20
People forget that I posted on PUA forums, almost daily, for almost seven years.Wow.. I never heard that, BD. What kind of forum are you talking about? is it in public forum or in your SMC program?
diggy 2017-02-02 10:23:52
Thanks for the hard work man!
prepped 2017-02-02 11:27:50
Sexual variety has never been my motivation anyway; just frequency of sex without absolute monogamy.THIS. I grew tired of the boy-o-sphere touting a higher body count as a measure of greater success. And I could not figure out why I wasn't so motivated to bang 60 new girls in 60 days, ala 20Nation. Oh, right. I was getting all the sex I wanted from a variety of girls who were ready, willing and able to satisfy me in the ways that suited ME. Is slaying more pussy more than just a bragging right, one which will alienate most men who don't have game to get laid on a regular basis by attractive women? Or, is it really all that to bang a girl once, and then NEXT her in search of the next notch, rather than cultivate a situation that can pay off in a MLTR or OLTR for years thereafter. The former is the boy's approach to blow his load as quickly as possible, the later, the man's approach to investing his time wisely to maximize his returns.
Bob 2017-02-02 11:35:54
Has your hairline continued to recede with the TRT? (I know you don't care, but just curious about what's going on under the hood.)
Blackdragon 2017-02-02 11:52:07
I clicked the “six books” link and saw six texts on dating/love, zero on making money. Where’s your book about business?My main book talks about business: www.alphamalebook.com. I also have a business blog here: www.sublimeyourtime.com
When you produce your YouTube videos, can you post a blog or video on what tools and techniques you use?Maybe. I might save that for my membership program. I'll think about it.
What kind of forum are you talking about?From about 2008-2011 I posted at a forum called Fast Seduction or mASF. That forum is long gone now, but you can download a partial archive here. From 2011 to about 2014-14 I posted over at NextASF, which is a forum I own but don't post at anymore, which is here. I don't post on public PUA forums anymore, just my private paid one.
Has your hairline continued to recede with the TRT?Some of my hair is fake, so it's hard to tell, but during the rare times I get under all that stuff to actually see, yeah, it looks like my hairline has receded in the last several years. That could be TRT or just normal aging (or both).
Jeff 2017-02-02 12:02:17
Hi BD, do you have any plan to visit Asia (Singapore, etc) and do some coaching again this year?
Joanna 2017-02-02 12:30:07
Yay!!!! A Sampson sequel would be absolutely wonderful.Your 9 Tennets are displayed at our office in a small seaside town on the arse end of Africa...imagine that. My regional manager loves it and if you OK with it she wants to send it to our group marketing department at head office to email it to our thousands of employees nationally since our company is big on self development? You would make sales here as our society is infested with dysthymia...just saying. I am incredibly noisy about things that excite me and my surrounding humans know when I barge into the room proclaiming Caleb Jones says xyz shits about to get real. Your thoughts are making ripples here FYI. So thank you.
Blackdragon 2017-02-02 13:25:12
Hi BD, do you have any plan to visit Asia (Singapore, etc) and do some coaching again this year?Yes. I'm going to Shanghai in a few weeks. I'll be announcing dates here soon.
Your 9 Tennets are displayed at our office in a small seaside town on the arse end of Africa…imagine that.Sounds cool to me! If I get more people like you saying there will be opportunity for bulk sales, then I'll do a sequel.
Anon. 2017-02-02 17:21:17
In all seriousness, one OLTR and one FB on the side would satisfy me for the rest of my life, as long as neither of them ever left.If a wizard waved his magic wand and made Pink Firefly be happy in a monogamous relationship with you indefinitely, would you drop the O from OLTR?
Blackdragon 2017-02-02 17:30:10
If a wizard waved his magic wand and made Pink Firefly be happy in a monogamous relationship with you indefinitely, would you drop the O from OLTR?Dumbest question ever asked on this blog. I don't do monogamy, period. I don't utilize systems in my life that don't work. (And you shouldn't either.)
Stella 2017-02-02 19:14:29
For the Sampson sequel, do you already have an outline or some idea how it's going to be organized? My suggestion is to start a donation page, and only release each individual chapter when you reach a donation threshold of your choosing. Eventually, you have a completed book. And then after that you can publish it. I doubt having it available online for free will affect you too terribly on sales after the fact, but if it does, then each book purchase can have something like "20% off one consulting session with me" or whatever you like.
Parade 2017-02-02 20:08:48
Why not do a kickstarter for Sampson and the Wizard Part 2?
Randy 2017-02-02 21:25:01
You were planning on debating Stefan Molyneux? I'm assuming about non-monogamy, considering what seems like his puritanical stance on sex and relationships. I've noticed the trend as well with the guys mentioned and others going from libertarian to almost full right-wing conservative, which is very strange to me and I haven't really been able to wrap my head around the shift. What do you think the reason is? I'm assuming that it's just a bigger audience that they've decided to go after, but still it's pretty disheartening to see so many big libertarians go all in for big government now with Trump.
Bob 2017-02-02 22:28:06
I’ve noticed the trend as well with the guys mentioned and others going from libertarian to almost full right-wing conservative, which is very strange to me and I haven’t really been able to wrap my head around the shift. What do you think the reason is? Uh...money? From a bunch of invisible ranting dweebs to semi-famous folks with an impressive cash flow?
POB 2017-02-03 04:21:35
Have a hint your future Alpha Male 2.0 business manual will be a top seller amongst your books. On the other hand I just don't look forward to more of your personal relationship posts, as I'm not in that "phase" yet and there's nothing more boring than that kind of read. But I'll be sure to bookmark them and use your experience as crumb trail when the "get together" bug bites me. Anyway, thx for being our guinea pig (again).
Bulma78 2017-02-03 07:48:43
My suggestion is to start a donation page, and only release each individual chapter when you reach a donation threshold of your choosing. Eventually, you have a completed book. And then after that you can publish it.Stellllllllaaaa!!! But who would these “donations” go to??? It would have to go to a charity/501(c)3 or something. Besides, BD is already rolling high and doesn’t need donations for himself anyways! He’s already a baller, you know? P.S. - BD, I'm very much looking forward to the personal relationship posts, as well as many of the other readers.
Blackdragon 2017-02-03 10:29:26
For the Sampson sequel, do you already have an outline or some idea how it’s going to be organized?Oh yes. I already have at 3-4 sequels outlined. I could probably do another 2 beyond those.
My suggestion is to start a donation page, and only release each individual chapter when you reach a donation threshold of your choosing. Eventually, you have a completed book. And then after that you can publish it. I doubt having it available online for free will affect you too terribly on sales after the fact, but if it does, then each book purchase can have something like “20% off one consulting session with me” or whatever you like.That's not a bad idea. Releasing one chapter at a time, over a prolonged period of time, isn't really how I like to work though. I more of a get-the-project-done-and-move-on kind of guy. (I could write all the chapters at once and hope they sell, but then I'm back to the original problem.)
Why not do a kickstarter for Sampson and the Wizard Part 2?Yeah, as I said, that kind of thing has already been suggested. That might be the best way to do it.
You were planning on debating Stefan Molyneux? I’m assuming about non-monogamy, considering what seems like his puritanical stance on sex and relationships.Yes. Long-term monogamy was literally the only thing he and I disagreed on (before he joined the Trump Will Save Us train).
I’ve noticed the trend as well with the guys mentioned and others going from libertarian to almost full right-wing conservative, which is very strange to me and I haven’t really been able to wrap my head around the shift. What do you think the reason is?As Bob said, it's money and views, as I said in the article. I could do this too if I wanted. I could chuck all this lifestyle stuff and immediately go alt-right, and talk 80% of the time about politics and how much SJWs suck and how we need to Take Our Country Back™, and my traffic would double in six months. I wouldn't be very happy though, and neither would by readers. (You might have noticed that the alt-right isn't exactly made up of happy guys. Though the same could be said of SJWs. Haha. Politics: The path to permanent frustration.) As they say, I walk a different path.
Have a hint your future Alpha Male 2.0 business manual will be a top seller amongst your books.I think you're right. I have very big plans for this; far more than just a manual
On the other hand I just don’t look forward to more of your personal relationship postsThat's a tough one. In all my readerships (blog readers, book buyers, guys in my membership program, etc), there are lots of guys who are VERY interested in OLTR management, and complain I don't talk about it enough, and there are lots of guys who VERY bored with that topic and get irritated when I talk about it. I think this is yet another divide between older guys (who are looking to settle down) and younger guys (who are looking to have fun, travel, and get laid). Thus my plan to break out future Alpha 2.0 books for each of these demographics. So if you're a guy under age 35 who gets bored when I talk about OLTR stuff, just ignore those posts, just like if you're a guy over age 35, ignore the posts I make about "getting started" with certain things in life. As niched as this readership is, I've got a wide audience here and need to cater to everyone to a degree.
But who would these “donations” go to??? It would have to go to a charity/501(c)3 or somethingNot for a simple donate button. I'm still a for-profit business as always.
Besides, BD is already rolling high and doesn’t need donations for himself anyways! He’s already a baller, you know?BD also is an anal budget nerd and his income is very strictly controlled. And he's an Evil Capitalist™ who doesn't do anything unless it makes a decent of money.
Stella 2017-02-04 12:43:18
Ah, maybe 'sponsor' instead of 'donate' is the right word. It's just a business model I've seen on websites like Wuxiaworld and TranslationNation, where some people translate Chinese martial arts novels into English. On that platform, it's pretty successful and usually 2-3 chapters get released per day on the popular stuff. As for me, I look forward to most topics written, provided it has the usual human behavior insight in there. ? (My favorite is the business stuff though and I'll definitely be getting that manual whenever.)
P 2017-02-04 16:53:21
BD also is an anal budget nerd and his income is very strictly controlled. And he’s an Evil Capitalist™ who doesn’t do anything unless it makes a decent of money.You mean you are greedy, and not like those public-policy/NGO/think thank things which own some hundred million $ worth assets? They are all non-profit.
Blackdragon 2017-02-04 21:56:56
You mean you are greedy, and not like those public-policy/NGO/think thank things which own some hundred million $ worth assets? They are all non-profit.Good point. I'm more honest about who and what I am. It saves a lot of time and trouble.
hilsey 2017-02-05 16:32:25
I look forward to the videos and more Pink Firefly.
joe 2017-02-05 22:28:59
How do you get over a fear of flying? . I think Pilots only need about 1500 hrs of flying experience compared to a specialized doctor , becoming a pilot seems like a lot less training. Also the statistic that you have like a way greater chance of crashing in a car. Well if you crash in a car you have chance to live and its usually immediate impact. In an airplane you may know you are going to crash and it can take a few minutes. Also if you crash in a plane your more than likely going to do. Im afraid of putting my life in someones hands for 24 hours in the sky to travel from the U.S to lets say China or Europe. Planes crash all the time and Americans just brush it off our shoulders because typically the accidents happen in other countries like columbia, malayasia, etc. Another thing is many people are religious and believe if its my time to go its my time to go. No stupid idiot the pilot or that terrorist on the plane had a lot to do with it. Prayer can be good for some. But its not like the prayer is going to stop anything bad from happening. You very rational and logical. Do you have any advice , have you ever been in fear of flying, if so howd you get over it?
Brian 2017-02-06 01:04:49
I too don't care for a huge amount of sexual variety (with lots of women I mean), just frequency and fun! An OLTR and an FB would be great. My question then is; would the once-a-week rule still apply to your single FB? This would be of concern if your OLTR was out of town, sick, injured, etc... and you still wanted your frequent sex needs met...
Roberto 2017-02-06 02:28:18
I too don’t care for a huge amount of sexual variety (with lots of women I mean), just frequency and fun! An OLTR and an FB would be great. My question then is; would the once-a-week rule still apply to your single FB? This would be of concern if your OLTR was out of town, sick, injured, etc… and you still wanted your frequent sex needs met…This is one reason why it's good, in my experience, to have a roster of FBs if you can. FBs also have a way of disappearing (at least from time to time; sometimes they re-appear later). I'm in what is called here an OLTR, and I have two FBs that I see pretty regularly (basically once a week each). I also have two or three that I see less often - you need to see them often enough that they think of you as part of their life and will be happy to meet up for sex, so it does take some work (which should be fun work), but you don't need to meet every week (with the right sort of person). I also have a few that seem to pop up much less often (almost always at their request); some of these I could move up my list if I wanted/needed to, and I have done this in the past (and no doubt will in the future). Again in my experience, the best FBs are those who view the relationship in the same sort of way that I do, i.e. as a good way to get sex in a fun, non-demanding way. Those that are seeking attention or are needy in some other way take much more work, certainly if you seeing them at all often.
Blackdragon 2017-02-06 11:43:36
How do you get over a fear of flying?Read this.
An OLTR and an FB would be great. My question then is; would the once-a-week rule still apply to your single FB?Speaking in general, yes, though there could be unusual exceptions.
This would be of concern if your OLTR was out of town, sick, injured, etc… and you still wanted your frequent sex needs met…Correct, that would be one of those unusual exceptions. Per Roberto's point though, that might be why just 1 FB may not be enough. I've always envisioned 1 FB + 1 FB "back up."
JacobSterling 2017-02-06 16:31:06
An Alpha Male 2.0 manual for younger men I would very much be interested in this. I am a young 23-yo from Alabama and have been reading your work for quite some time. I loved your Alpha Male 2.0 book and slowly working on setting up my life around its tenets. Main focus is working out (from Kinobody) and money. Not in any sexual relationships currently, as I am living with very religious parents (excuse, I know, but I am permanently moving out this year), and this is driving me crazy. I've been putting the energy into landing a new job, which I have obtained, and I will be building a business once I've moved out and saved up 6 months of living expenses. If you put up a GoFundMe page for this book, I will definitely help out. You've helped me out in many ways, including the Sampson book, and I have the 9 Tenets posted in my room. Thank you, again, and keep up the good work!
Blackdragon 2017-02-06 17:58:24
If you put up a GoFundMe page for this book, I will definitely help out. You’ve helped me out in many ways, including the Sampson book, and I have the 9 Tenets posted in my room.I think that's what I'll do.
Shubert 2017-02-07 14:41:05
AM 2.0 Busineds manual, if it teaches you how to run an online business, I'd buy that.
Blackdragon 2017-02-07 14:45:41
AM 2.0 Busineds manual, if it teaches you how to run an online business, I’d buy that.It will. The Alpha 2.0 has location independent income, so online is one key way to do this (though not the only way).
Anton 2017-02-08 00:55:26
I can't help but chuckle a bit as you talk about wishing you could reduce the number of women in your life as though it was something somehow out of your control. What exactly is stopping you? Out of curiosity, IF a guy were capable of remaining completely non-needy and outcome independent, seeing a woman no more than once or twice a week, soft-nexting when necessary and everything else, could a man run a successful monogamy in theory with your system? As long as he had zero trouble soft-nexting in spite of lacking a replacement woman, and truly didn't care if things worked out with the girl, knowing he has the ability to get a new one easily? I'm a pretty low sex drive guy myself, and honestly have little interest in having multiple women from a sexual point of view, I'm honestly good with just one, but eliminating the drama and etc. from my relationships is very intriguing.
Duke 2017-02-08 09:15:09
@ Anton, Ive had this theory as well but have never really vocalized it around here for various reasons. It is technically possible I'd imagine if you either had a very strong mission, kept really busy with work or hobbies, it's a plain girl/girl you're just meh about, or had a HUGE amount of discipline to not cave on things such as texting every day until she earns further commitment. Otherwise you're probably going to slowly start betasizing yourself, while justifying every little thing you keep compromising on, ending up up in one sided relationship like most other men. I hear you on the lack of desire to have sex with multiple women though, as I doubt many men have this desire. I always think of me providing women a service by being a generous asexual and they should consider themselves lucky. Hearing some of them say that I've ruined them for other men, while always coming back for more is plenty of compensation.
Blackdragon 2017-02-08 12:46:46
I can’t help but chuckle a bit as you talk about wishing you could reduce the number of women in your life as though it was something somehow out of your control. What exactly is stopping you?Redundancy. If, as just one example, you take all your side women down to just one, and then she vanishes or gets a boyfriend, then you have zero, and zero is monogamy, which is bad.
Out of curiosity, IF a guy were capable of remaining completely non-needy and outcome independent, seeing a woman no more than once or twice a week, soft-nexting when necessary and everything else, could a man run a successful monogamy in theory with your system? As long as he had zero trouble soft-nexting in spite of lacking a replacement woman, and truly didn’t care if things worked out with the girl, knowing he has the ability to get a new one easily?Yeah, it's called serial monogamy, and you'd better not ever want a relationship that lasts more than 6-12 months, because you'll never have any. Introducing Alpha 2.0 concepts into monogamy ensures you'll simply have a long string of short-term monogamous relationships, one after the next. (A few guys on this blog have done this.) If that's what you really want for your life, then go for it, but I would rather shoot myself in the head. If you want years-long relationships like I have (I was recently with a FB I've had consistently for over four years), you're going to have to be nonmonogamous.
Anton 2017-02-09 00:38:03
Please note, I AM a full 2.0 at this point, I've got two WD's and 3 FB's, but this thought has just been mulling around. That's very interesting. I can't see off the top of it why that would be. You're saying that all things being equal, if I am honestly alpha 2.0 in every respect EXCEPT having multiple women, I'll lose the girl in a year or less, but if I'm sleeping around she'll stay with me much longer? I would have expected the opposite. Isn't becoming slowly dissatisfied with your refusal to give monogamy what eventually drives women away to temporarily shack up with a monogamy guy? You say you'd rather shoot yourself in the head than do this, but what is the drawback exactly? I'm theorizing that you still can have all the drama-free benefits, as long as you maintain your distance, and your frame, and don't hesitate to do a TRUE next with no concern over the temporary loss of sex. Is that the only concern, those rare losses of sex during a next?
Anon. 2017-02-09 05:38:49
Anton, while with work it could possibly be achieved, there are major aspects opposing that: 1. Preselection is a huge attraction boosting factor. 2. It would be hard to stay "honestly alpha 2.0 in every respect" if you're monogamous. SP is very powerful, and it will compel you to make attraction-killing mistakes. 3. And what are you going to do when you do see a girl you want to have a fling with? 4. The power of a next is greatly diminished when she knows you're not getting any sex either.
Isn’t becoming slowly dissatisfied with your refusal to give monogamy what eventually drives women away to temporarily shack up with a monogamy guy?Yes, but your acceptance of monogamy eventually drives women away permanently.
Blackdragon 2017-02-09 12:11:24
You’re saying that all things being equal, if I am honestly alpha 2.0 in every respectAs another already noted, you won't be an Alpha 2.0 in every respect if you're monogamous. It changes the entire frame of the relationship.
EXCEPT having multiple women, I’ll lose the girl in a year or less, but if I’m sleeping around she’ll stay with me much longer?You won't "lose" her, you'll next her. A true Alpha 2.0 isn't going to put up with the drama inherent to monogamy, so after getting a bunch of crap thrown at you from your monogamous girlfriend, you'll next her ass (and if you don't, you're not being Alpha 2.0). Then you'll have to find someone new, or go sexless.
Isn’t becoming slowly dissatisfied with your refusal to give monogamy what eventually drives women away to temporarily shack up with a monogamy guy?Yes, but none of these women give me drama like a mono-GF will, therefore A) they last much longer, B) if/when I next them, I just keep on fucking other women without having to find anyone new, C) the women return to me easily after the next (this is usually not the case with monogamy), D) even after a LSNFTE 94% of the women come back (this is not the case with monogamy). More sex, less drama, more freedom, longer relationships. That's why nonmonogamy is better than monogamy in literally every way except for the jealousy factor (which can be mitigated with a little practice).
I’m theorizing that you still can have all the drama-free benefitsThat's your problem; you're theorizing. I'm talking about the real world. Stop theorizing, and go into the real world and try to have a drama-free monogamous girlfriend (ha!) for longer than 12 months (ha!) and then come back and tell me how well that works. I already know the answer, but you seem to really want this, so go ahead! (ha!)
Daniel 2017-02-09 16:00:09
"Redundancy. If, as just one example, you take all your side women down to just one, and then she vanishes or gets a boyfriend, then you have zero, and zero is monogamy, which is bad." I've elsewhere seen you define "de facto monogamy" as going a whole month without sleeping with more than one woman. But surely there's zero chance that would happen to you, if you lost your FB, you would have a new one within a week pretty easily. This seems especially not a concern when your FB's have an average life span of a year or more.
Blackdragon 2017-02-09 16:12:34
I’ve elsewhere seen you define “de facto monogamy” as going a whole month without sleeping with more than one woman.Right.
But surely there’s zero chance that would happen to you, if you lost your FB, you would have a new one within a week pretty easily. This seems especially not a concern when your FB’s have an average life span of a year or more.Not if I hard nexted all of them except one or two. That's what he was asking about. My FBs have a life span of 1+ years because I don't dump them / hard next them. I keep them around.
Elijah 2017-02-09 22:50:45
Are there any articles on how to have "the talk" or troubleshooting the talk anywhere on the site? Nothing comes up in search. If not, seems like there really should be.
Manifest 2017-02-10 22:10:13
BD according to your types of sex drives men blog post, there should be another category for men who prefer variety over frequency. You must not have a passion for women and sex as much as i do if your willingly ok with having sex with only 1-2 partners . Once you tap a 10 three times; a new 8 looks more appealing . I want to conquer/experience as many women as i can. there is no such thing as being sataified. Every attractive woman(7+/10) has somthing special to offer that only she possesses. Correct if im wrong im just a little shocked this one of the only areas i cant relate to you on. Id take only having sex once a week but with a new hot chick everytime vs rotating two hot chicks indefinelty 3-7x a week. How could you not want to taste the rainbow for life??!!
Blackdragon 2017-02-10 22:47:49
Are there any articles on how to have “the talk” or troubleshooting the talk anywhere on the site?Podcast #5 here. If you want extensive detail on it you'll have to buy my open relationships ebook or (join my membership program, where I've addressed it in a few podcasts there).
BD according to your types of sex drives men blog post, there should be another category for men who prefer variety over frequency.No, sex drive is a measure of frequency, not variety or the types of women you like to fuck.
You must not have a passion for women and sex as much as i do if your willingly ok with having sex with only 1-2 partners .No, because I'm ultra-horny every day and need sex at least three times a week. Again, sex drive is about frequency, not variety. Variety is an issue of taste and (possibly) personalty type, not sex drive.
Id take only having sex once a week but with a new hot chick everytime vs rotating two hot chicks indefinelty 3-7x a week.I rest my case.
CF 2017-02-12 14:02:12
@BD - You mentioned that you'll move out of USA to a new country. Which one would that be? And why? What were the others on the short list? @joe - Statistical, flying is safer than driving. Logically, that should be enough. If you are afraid of having your life in someone else's hands, consider a bus driver (whom I'm sure has less training than a pilot). Also, most commercial flights require two crew so there's more redundancy. Not to mention all the electronics to minimize human error. The airline will affect the accident rate due to their quality of the aircraft, maintenance, pilots, etc. I'd pay a bit more for a direct flight to Asia from NA (16hrs vs your 24hrs since time is valuable) on a reliable airline. Most accidents happen during take off and landing so reducing connecting flights minimizes that concern.
CF 2017-02-12 16:02:37
@BD - Never mind. I just found this. Haha! http://calebjonesblog.com/moving-out-of-the-country-my-current-five-flags-plan-as-of-january-2017/ I've only read the part 1 post from March.
elijah 2017-02-16 21:29:55
That podcast is great because I have wondered about the OLTR talk and how it differs from the standard talk, but that wasn't what I was looking for. I do have the open relationships book, but it's pretty thin on details and devoid of examples for the standard talk. I'm unsure how much content it should contain. How do you respond when the girl asks you simply "why?" "why are you unwilling to be monogamous with me?" In the book you just say that "if you get into a discussion, you lose", but it seems like such a fair question.... What surprises me a lot about the podcast you link to, is that in it, you tell the girl you hope she will be monogamous to you and you have no intentions of not being monogamous with her, but you know its unrealistic to expect those hopes and intentions to last a lifetime, and you agree to forgive each other and allow for it if ONE DAY it happens. Huh???? I don't understand how this talk is ever possible under your system. Shouldn't the girl be well accustomed to the fact that you always have been and always will be REGULARLY seeing other girls by the time this talk is happening? This talk makes it sound like you are actually monogamous and hoping to be as monogamous as possible with this girl, only getting something on the side if you just can't resist it any longer.
Blackdragon 2017-02-17 11:36:33
How do you respond when the girl asks you simply “why?” “why are you unwilling to be monogamous with me?”"Because that's not how I am. It has nothing to do with you. If you really want that, you should go date some other guy." Then yes, move on from that topic. Don't get into a huge discussion about it.
What surprises me a lot about the podcast you link to, is that in it, you tell the girl you hope she will be monogamous to you and you have no intentions of not being monogamous with her, but you know its unrealistic to expect those hopes and intentions to last a lifetime, and you agree to forgive each other and allow for it if ONE DAY it happens. Huh????That is not The Talk, but what most normal men will be thinking. As I said in the podcast, that talk was an example of the thought process, not the literal words you say.
Boxcar 2017-02-26 16:45:21
Fertility on TRT... you mention using HCG, which is a fertility treatment that guys sometimes take specifically to maintain fertility on TRT. (I believe there is also a study on this effect). If you stopped that for a few months, that would give you a better idea of where your fertility is on TRT alone.
paternity tester 2017-10-31 08:09:16
Hi BD, have you been using hCG thorough TRT? It's what could have caused sperm count to come back, so I wonder whether were you using it regularly.
Vinícius 2018-08-14 08:02:08
BD, how is TRT going? Are you still keeping high levels of testosterone? Any changes in mood or sex drive since last uptade? Greetings from Brazil.