Get Free Email Updates!
Join us for FREE to get instant email updates!
How to Deal With Erectile Dysfunction
-By Caleb Jones
Please note that I am not a doctor, have no medical training, and I am not rendering medical advice. I'm just a guy who has studied sex from a masculine perspective for many years and know a few things. As always, talk to your doctor for more detailed information.
There are two causes of erectile dysfunction (ED). The first is mental, the second is physical. Usually, men under age 40 are dealing with mental and men over 40 are dealing with physical, though of course there are many exceptions to both of these generalizations.
This distinction is really important because I see a lot of men who have a mental problem attack the problem as if it's physical and waste a huge amount of time, emotions, and money. So if you're having a problem with your Johnson, you need to come to a complete stop and first determine if the problem is mental or physical before you do anything else.
Whenever you experience problems getting hard or staying hard, you need to ask yourself several questions:
2. Are you able to get hard and stay hard when you are having sex with someone else, other than the woman you encountered the problem with?
3. If you were wearing a condom when you had the problem, are you able to get hard and stay hard when you don't use one?
If the answer is yes to any of the above questions, your problem is likely mental, not physical.
If you are able to get hard and stay hard in certain situations and not other situations, then this means you have some kind of mental block, or nervousness (either conscious or unconscious), or inexperience regarding the scenario in which you are experiencing ED.
Using myself as an example, I've talked before about how the first time I had sex with a woman after being monogamously married for nine years, I had trouble getting it up. I never had trouble getting it up with the ex-wife while I was married. Yet, as soon as I got divorced and had sex with a new woman, my cock wouldn't cooperate and I had trouble.
The good news is after a few times of having sex with that new woman, I was able to get hard and stay hard and never had a problem again.
Also, when I lost my virginity, I couldn't get it up. After her and I had sex about three or four times, finally I was able to get it up, and everything was fine from that point forward.
In both cases, I experienced ED, but the problem was 100% mental. There was nothing physiologically wrong with me. I was just inexperienced. Once I did what I was doing a few more times, I subconsciously relaxed, and I was able to have sex.
A key point here is in both cases, I was not consciously nervous at all. I seriously did not feel nervous or self conscious in any way. Quite the opposite; I was very excited to have sex. This is why it was so strange that my cock didn't work.
A lot of guys experience the same thing. They have a scenario where they aren't nervous, their dick doesn't work, so they incorrectly assume they have some kind of physical problem.
I italicized the word consciously above because while I was not consciously nervous, my subconscious was nervous as hell. It was in a scenario it had not yet encountered (or hadn't encountered in a very long time) so it wasn't able to send the correct instructions to my cock to "turn on." In other words, I was nervous in some way; I just didn't realize it.
What's the cure to mental ED? There are several ways.
The best cure is practice. If you have trouble getting hard or staying hard with new women, or younger women, or when you do a threesome, or whatever the scenario is, then you need to do more of that scenario. Keep doing it over and over again. Soon, I promise, your cock will start to "understand" as your subconscious nervousness goes away.
I have given this advice to lots of men over the years, and it's helped damn near 100% of them who were not also experiencing a physical problem.
What if this advice doesn't help? In other words, what if you know for sure that you don't have a physical problem and practicing doesn't help? For example, when you jerk off, you get hard and stay hard without any problem, but you can't get it up during sex after trying it ten times.
If that's the case, you have some kind of psychological problem that is beyond the scope of this article, and you may need to see a counselor, therapist, or sex therapist as soon as you can to uncover what's wrong with your mental views of sex and intimacy.
We also need to talk about porn. As this video well describes, incidents of ED with men under age 40 have skyrocketed since 2008, going from 2-4% to as high as 35%(!). (I highly recommend that video, by the way.) What's changed in society since 2008? Ubiquitous streaming internet porn! Numerous studies have shown that watching internet porn is a direct cause of ED, and the more easily you can switch between different porn clips while you jerk off (like on Pornhub), the worse your ED becomes.
One more common cause of mental ED, and one people don't like to talk about, is that you might be having sex with a woman (or women) who aren't very attractive. I hate to be so simple, but this is the case more often than you might think. Numerous men who cheat on their old, fat wives will tell you with a smile on their face that when they hook up with a young, hot girl, their ED "magically" vanishes and suddenly their dick is as hard as a rock.
Obviously I'm against cheating; I'm for non-monogamous relationships instead, where all the drama, bullshit, and sneaking around when cheating isn't necessary. The point is your mental ED might just be because you're not very sexually attracted to the woman or women you're having sex with. It's something to consider.
Lastly, it is technically possible to deal with mental ED using physical means, such as just taking Viagra or Cialis. That will work. However, in my opinion this is a poor long-term strategy. You are putting a band-aid on a real problem with your sexual ability. I think you should cure the underlying problem so that you don't need to pop a pill every time you have sex, or have sex under certain conditions.
Now let's deal with the other side of the coin; when you actually have a physical problem.
Physical ED is when you are mentally ready to go, both consciously and subconsciously, but you actually have a physical problem within your body preventing your cock from getting and staying hard despite any pleasurable stimuli during sex and masturbation.
Physical ED takes many forms. Maybe you can't get hard. Maybe you can get somewhat hard, but not 100% hard. Maybe you can get hard, but you can't say hard for very long. Maybe you can get hard, but can't stay hard unless you're experiencing constant stimulation.
I have researched this in great detail, particularly during my initial journey with TRT. I've never had a problem with physical ED, but as I got older I could indeed tell a little difference. (Refer to my articles on TRT for more info on that.)
Thus, we need to break physical ED into two categories: "real" physical ED and "age related" physical ED.
Age related physical ED is when a man over 40 can get hard and stay hard, but it's not quite as 100% hard as it used to be when he was 18 or 20. Everything works fine, and frankly, most women probably won't even be able to tell a difference (especially if you have a larger cock), but you will notice a slight difference if you vividly remember your sexual experiences when you were a younger man.
Various things will help or cure age-related physical ED that I will cover in a minute, but many doctors tell me that with many men over 40, nothing (including TRT) will ever get that hardness to the precise 100% level it was when you were 20 years old, other than taking some form of chemical enhancement like Viagra or Cialis. You might be able to get it to 90% or even 95% with other means, but you may not be able to get it to 100% without taking some pills.
You might not care, and most guys don't. As I said, a woman isn't going to be able to tell between your 100% hardness when you were 20 vs. your 90% hardness now when you're 50. Whether or not you want to address this is completely up to you.
Now let's get to "real" physical ED, when, regardless of your age, you have a real physical problem preventing hardness during physical stimulation. If you're 100% convinced you don't have mental ED, here's what you need to do:
1. Blood Test
Step one is to get a blood test, either through your doctor or using an online service (like privateMDlabs.com). If you live in Suicidal Europe or Socialist Australia, this is going to be more difficult, but do the best you can. The tests you need are:
- Testosterone (total and free)
- Estrogen (specifically Estradiol)
- Thyroid (specifically T3, T4, and TSH)
- Vitamin D
If any of these levels are too low or too high, that could probably explain your physical ED. The vast majority of the men reading these words probably have testosterone that's too low, estrogen that's too low or too high, thyroid that's too low or too high, or vitamin D that's too low.
Work with your doctor to get those levels up naturally. There are numerous ways to do this that are beyond the scope of this article. If you are over age 35 and your testosterone is low, I urge you to consider TRT. Going on TRT was one of the best decisions of my life and dick hardness wasn't even the reason. Seriously; it's awesome in terms of focus, happiness, income, fitness, and everything else.
Step two is to get your prostate checked. There are blood tests that test for PSA levels, but the best way, unfortunately, is to get a DRE (digital rectal exam) which is a nice way of saying a doctor needs to put his finger up your butt. Frankly, if you're over the age of 45, you should be doing this once a year anyway. (Prostate cancer is the number one cause of death for men outside of heart disease.) If you have trouble with your prostate, this can and often does directly affect your sexual performance.
3. Lose Weight
You might need to lose weight. I can tell you from direct experience that my cock worked noticeably better when I lost my 40 pounds. It wasn't a huge difference, but the difference was noticeable.
4. Natural Supplements
This is very hit or miss. There are lots of natural supplements that supposedly help guys with ED. The results of these, at least based on what I've heard, are very spotty. Some guys rave about them, other guys have tried them all and they don't make any difference.
I can't recommend any specific supplements; you'll have to do your own research.
5. Medication (last resort)
As a last resort, you can just take some dick pills. These will work with just about anyone with mental or physical ED. I have a personal aversion to taking pills like this, so you'll have to make your own decision. I personally have tried both Viagra and Cialis, just for fun, and they definitely "work." I just recommend moderation with any drug usage. Here's a list of options.
Viagra - This is a pill you swallow orally, or a "troche" that you dissolve under your tongue that gives you a window of 60-90 minutes where your cock will be hard. Side effects can include a reddening of the face or rapidly beating heart, though the vast majority of men will not suffer any ill effects. Tip: troches are much less expensive than pills (about one-third the cost). The problem is that they need to be refrigerated.
Cialis - A pill or a troche that you take that lasts about 48 hours. Your cock will be noticeably harder during sex at any time during this window. I personally think Cialis is better than Viagra, since the window of time is much larger, but every man's body is different and will react differently to these drugs.
Alprostadil - This is a syringe that you actually inject into your penis. Yes, you heard me right. You inject it and suddenly you have a rock-hard supercock that lasts about an hour or two. I've never done this and probably never will, but I've spoken with several really old guys (age 70+) who absolutely love this stuff and swear by it.
All of these things will require a prescription from your doctor, but to be honest, they're pretty easy to get.
ED is a big topic and I'm sure I will write more about it, but that covers the basics. As always, your physical and mental health should be a priority to you, and if you're both mentally and physically healthy, you're not going to have a lot of trouble with this.
Want over 35 hours of how-to podcasts on how to improve your woman life and financial life? Want to be able to coach with me twice a month? Want access to hours of technique-based video and audio? The SMIC Program is a monthly podcast and coaching program where you get access to massive amounts of exclusive, members-only Alpha 2.0 content as soon as you sign up, and you can cancel whenever you want. Click here for the details.
Get Free Email Updates!
Join us for FREE to get instant email updates!
LibreMax 2017-06-19 07:55:31
I have tried Kamagra (I took half a pill) and Pmax (no precription required for pmax), they both worked on me for arround 6-8 hours. Effects started 1 to 2 hours after swallowing, depemding if it was on an empty stomac (effect kicks in faster) or after a meal (effects kicks in slower). Effect was physically to get 100% very hard much increased ability to completely control when I decide to cum, feels like a sex robot, no problem to fuck all night. I totally relate to 'being TOO excited' while not feeling consciously stressed but not getting it up, this happened to me several times in swingers clubs, and other more than 3 people orgy contexts. I think practicing helps, but these kinds of occasions don't arise super frequently in my life. Hacing now tried the pills a couple of time, I would consider having one at hand and using it if I see that the problem is occuring on a situation that I don't have rhe opportunity to practice often. But first I'd try without. A friend told me that the very fact that I gave him a pill, and he had it at hand, helped him tremedously mentally and he had very positive effects just knowing that the pill was in his house, without even using it. All the rest of this article is completely accurate. I think the effect of porn is real ans strong. I have experienced it myself it can truely cause ED. Anyone who wants to optain a certain result in his women life shoud start by abstaining as much as possible from looking at any porn and also from masturbating for weeks until the desired result in real life is obtained.
LibreMax 2017-06-19 08:10:58
The Pmax I tried it first time a couple of days ago, my memory is still very vivid. I remember that the effect was not only physical but also partly psychoactive. I felt that my mind was eroticising much more perceptions. Side effect included raised heart beat and sorts of 'flashing lights' in the dark when moving the eyes arround a source of light such as street loghts or the screen of my mobile. As if the visual persistence was affected. I wouldn't pop those pills every week, I don't feel this would be healthy. But once in a blue moon, why not.
John 2017-06-19 08:12:29
BD how is your weight loss going? And speaking of income, what % do you recommend to save each month? What % of your income do you spend?
Teacherman 2017-06-19 09:00:26
I teach health to teenagers. I try to keep everything free of moral judgments. Concerning porn, I talk about how many people get their brains rewired from porn so they can't get an erection in real life. I say to the students, "Imagine not being able to have sex with a real person because you can only get aroused by porn." I can tell by the looks on the student's faces (especially the boys) that this message is getting through.
POB 2017-06-19 09:46:05
Internet porn was the worst most addictive thing invented to castrate men's freedom since crack came out! It's not only the visual stimulus - we know those girls ARE NOT LIKE THAT in real life - but the whole set up, the "performances"...everything is set in a way to sell you stuff or to generate more traffic. The side effect? You start to get down on yourself! Guys getting 2 hours erections? Fake. Two hot girls fucking a guy they just met for no reason with zero game applied? Fake? Girls waking up in make-up and looking like princesses? Fake, fake, fake! Because of that unattainable "fantasy" the amount of <30 guys popping pills to get hard is astonishing (and still climbing). I've seen a lot of my younger friends passing on great hot women just because they were not feeling like it or because she had a minor physical flaw. Those young guys are not only becoming mentally addicted to that stuff, but also destroying their own long-term happiness (I can only imagine all my years of great sex as a young rooster depending on the availability of a pill!!!). That's insane!!! Every time a young guy tell me he's using that stuff I just say: way to go dumbass...just keep making Lilly and Pfizer richer!
Max 2017-06-19 11:38:53
Awesome. Sorry, not against porn.
JD 2017-06-19 13:03:07
Bestseller Author Mark Manson recommends this: (geared towards not only ED, but especially if you lack sexual arousal and drive/desire when confronted with a beautiful woman) "- End all pornography immediately. Starting today. Delete everything from your computer. Throw out any discs or DVDs you have. And if you have trouble controlling your urges, download some free website blocking software and block every porn site you know of indefinitely. This may sound horrible or extreme, but trust me. You will thank me in a month. - Limit your masturbation to once a week. Schedule it. Pick a day. I usually pick Monday. Do not deviate from your masturbation schedule! If you want even a larger dose of motivation (and you want to be as horny as a 14-year old), limit your masturbation to once every other week. Again, pick a day and hold yourself to it. - When you masturbate, you’re only allowed to fantasize about women you’ve met and HAVE NOT had sex with. It could be that woman at work. That girl you met Saturday night. The girl you have a date with that week. Whatever. But she has to be real, and she has to be someone you have not slept with (but obviously want to). - When you masturbate, use lotion or lube. Do it slower than usual. Drag it out longer than 10 minutes if you can. Take your time with it. Enjoy it. You don’t get to do this every day, remember? - When you’re out and about during your daily life, every beautiful woman you see, every hot girl you talk to, I want you to imagine what it’d be like to have sex with her. Visualize it in your head. Try to imagine her in her underwear. Imagine her giving you a blowjob. Imagine railing her right there on the street with everybody watching. Notice how turned on you get. Chances are your desire to go talk to her is suddenly going to shoot through the roof." From "Models: A Comprehensive Guide to Attracting Women"
Blackdragon 2017-06-19 14:00:21
John - Too off-topic. (Though I discuss both of those questions often at my other blog.)
Internet porn was the worst most addictive thing invented to castrate men’s freedom since crack came out! It’s not only the visual stimulus – we know those girls ARE NOT LIKE THAT in real lifeTrue story; there are now 15 and 16 year-old guys who, when they lose their virginity or try to, are horrified to see that the teenage girl they're about to fuck actually has hair on her pussy and freak out at them. Because of porn, they had no idea women had hair down there. Ah, the collapsing west...
Bestseller Author Mark Manson recommends this: End all pornography immediately.Agree.
Limit your masturbation to once a week.I agree only if you have a severe problem with ED or sexual arousal. The typical, functional guy can masturbate more than once a week if he wants (though I wouldn't do it every day; have sex instead!).
When you masturbate, you’re only allowed to fantasize about women you’ve met and HAVE NOT had sex with.Eh, mildly disagree. I don't think this will make any difference, provided you're not fantasizing about fantasy porn women with triple-E boobs or whatever.
When you masturbate, use lotion or lube. Do it slower than usual. Drag it out longer than 10 minutes if you can. Take your time with it. Enjoy it. You don’t get to do this every day, remember?Disagree. I don't see how that will make any noticeable difference.
When you’re out and about during your daily life, every beautiful woman you see, every hot girl you talk to, I want you to imagine what it’d be like to have sex with her. Visualize it in your head.Agree, but again, only if you have a real problem getting sexually aroused. The typical man already does this automatically.
From “Models: A Comprehensive Guide to Attracting Women”Good book and I recommend it to others. Mark's a good guy.
CrabRangoon 2017-06-19 14:30:15
Whiskey dick is a real thing too guys. If you are looking to get laid that night, don't get too drunk-have the bare minimum drinks, I usually go with 2 max.
Dudeman 2017-06-19 14:40:26
Ya. As a healthy prob high testosterone young male, porn is enemy #1. Bigger problem then most people realize.
buzz 2017-06-19 16:32:55
The founder of a popular Canadian website had problems with ED and he pretty much had his pick of the women too. Can you imagine your job being going over every picture and video on an x rated dating site for 20 years? Am I having a senior moment or is this the second time you sent out the same article? Maybe something on Alzheimer's next time? [New post] How to Deal With Erectile Dysfunction Friday, June 16, 2017 11:29 AM Mark as Unread From: "The Blackdragon Blog" To: New post on The Blackdragon Blog How to Deal With Erectile Dysfunction by Blackdragon Yes, we're going to talk about this. If my email is any indication, a lot of you guys, including you younger guys, are wrestling with this problem to some degree. Some of you have problems getting hard consistently; others of you have it every once in a while under certain conditions. We'll cover all of these today.
joelsuf 2017-06-19 17:27:32
Ya. As a healthy prob high testosterone young male, porn is enemy #1. Bigger problem then most people realize.I wouldn't say its as much porn as it is the convenience of screentime in general. I've viewed porn during all the "phases" of it: When you had to order it or watch it "scrambled," when you had to buy it on VHS and DVD, to internet porn where it only showed like five minute or so clips and that was it, to now where you can watch full scenes and stuff. Things are just too convenient now and it really sucks for the younger generation because everything is just WAY too accessible. This goes for stuff outside of porn as well.
there are now 15 and 16 year-old guys who, when they lose their virginity or try to, are horrified to see that the teenage girl they’re about to fuck actually has hair on her pussy and freak out at them. Because of porn, they had no idea women had hair down there.True story. This has to be a generational thing, cuz most of the adult stuff I read and watched when I was that young, the chicks actually had pubic hair. I feel like its a good and bad thing, because more chicks know that guys like that so they trim, but it gives said 15-16 year olds really high expectations. There's more "realistic" porn out there like amateur porn where there are clear imperfections seen in the performers and the performances, but that's few and far between.
Blackdragon 2017-06-19 18:01:15
Am I having a senior moment or is this the second time you sent out the same article?One of my VA's made a mistake and published the article too early last week.
Daniel 2017-06-19 20:01:53
It's cool to hear you have that issue BD, I also had issues when losing my virginity, and to this day, the first or second time with a new woman. I don't have issues getting hard, but for some reason I can't feel anything, or barely any sensation on my dick, which of course leads to it getting soft. And oddly, this is actually _more_ likley to happen with a really beautiful woman. Personally, I do go the route of taking a cialis when I know that I'm getting laid for the first time, just for the sake of ensuring a good first impression. All the porn comments are very interesting. I would say I was certainly addicted to the stuff when I was young and not getting laid very often, but I never had any ED issues except what I'm describing above which I attribute entirely to the pressure of performing well with someone I don't know very well. I still watch porn all the time, I find it relaxing. I very rarely allow myself to reach orgasm watching though, I save that for the girls. Someone mentioned the old warning "real girls aren't like that". Thats' what my parents used to say to try and scare me off it, but I disagree. I have been very pleasantly surprised to find that plenty of real girls are exactly like that, and I think we can thank porn for that fact : )
Russ 2017-06-19 23:55:34
I'm not sure if it was the real thing, as I bought it online, from a company that has a cheaper generic version made in India from the same chemical (although they also sell the genuine Pfizer product, that's a lot dearer), but I tried Viagra and it just didn't do anything for me. I did that, as I wasn't interested in having to see a doctor to get a script for it. I believe Pfizer's 20 year patent for Viagra will expire next year, so that other companies can then make cheaper legit versions of it. I've tried Cialis in some different doses, but I didn't notice a result till like 8-12 hours later, so I may need a much a higher dose. I also noticed I get a headachey feeling from it. My problem is trying to fuck a woman who says she has a tight pussy, so that riding you (which I tend to prefer), doesn't work for her, so you have to fuck her with her legs spread out. I've had some problems with this, as I find that you need to have a really rock hard cock, to be able to position your cock inside a woman who says that she's tight.
gary 2017-06-20 01:37:08
let me warn you guys about injection ed therapy like edex. if you have no blood flow problems its very easy to use to much and have a painful erection lasting for 4 hrs or more then its emergency room time. its called a priapism and its something you dont want to experience. with edex i found it takes me only 20 percent of a vial for an hour long erection . ive found most of my ed was due to being with women that i wasn't sexually attracted to. another thing ive noticed getting older is that less hard erections substantially increase premature ejaculation.
pjoter 2017-06-20 02:49:54
HI BD Do you plan to write about other penis-related topics e.g. jelqing, edging, stretching etc. Have you tried any of this stuff?
Sergei 2017-06-20 05:49:13
If you practice on getting over your mental ED as you suggest, is there a way to ensure that the women you fail with give you more chances? Or maybe at least to raise the odds?
September Skye 2017-06-20 11:44:18
I never had any problems from watching porn. I do it often and it doesn't affect my sex life in the least. The one thing that affects my lust is a girl's looks. In particular, if she has a flat stomach or not. That's the number one factor. I don't expect a girl to have huge breasts, and I don't like that much in porn anyway - slim and petite is what I prefer. I don't have unrealistic expectations. My girlfriend and I have watch porn together while having sex, mostly for the sound of the girl on the screen moaning. We're perfectly fine with it. Maybe others have other experiences, but for me it's never been an issue. One thing though: it is never wise to show a girl porn scenes online. Even if she is curious. Even if she asks you to show her. She may be genuinely curious at first, but soon she'll think, "He WATCHES this stuff! That guy acts in a demeaning way! And those girls are younger and look different from me! They seem trashy but he likes them just because they put out!" And she'll resent you for it. Even though she asked, and seemed like she was totally cool about it. The one exception I have found is my current gf, but with anyone before her I came to regret it. One Chinese girl I showed some White man/Asian woman porn that I had bookmarked, and she stayed awake all night thinking about it. Then left early in the morning in a rush, and I never heard from her again. We had been dating for a couple of weeks and watching porn had been her suggestion, IIRC. Well, she was fickle in other ways too, and she had a temper. I should have known I couldn't trust her and just refused her suggestion.
Blackdragon 2017-06-20 15:09:50
It’s cool to hear you have that issue BDI don't have the issue. Instead, I had the issue briefly 10 years ago after my divorce and 25 years ago when I lost my virginity.
Someone mentioned the old warning “real girls aren’t like that”. Thats’ what my parents used to say to try and scare me off it, but I disagree. I have been very pleasantly surprised to find that plenty of real girls are exactly like that, and I think we can thank porn for that fact : )It's more accurate to say "The vast majority of women you'll have sex with won't be like porno actresses, unless you're heavily screening for these kinds of women or doing something else unusual. These kinds of women do exist, and if you have sex with a lot of women you can and will certainly run into them, but they won't be the norm, and you should not expect such."
Do you plan to write about other penis-related topics e.g. jelqing, edging, stretching etc. Have you tried any of this stuff?No. My cock is normal-sized so I've never had to use any of those things nor have any data on them. I can tell you that the vast majority of women will not care at all about the size of your cock unless you are really, really small (like 2 inches or less when fully erect). And even then, some won't care that much.
If you practice on getting over your mental ED as you suggest, is there a way to ensure that the women you fail with give you more chances? Or maybe at least to raise the odds?Yes: follow all of my dating and relationship techniques. (Make her cum every time you have sex, only see her once a week once you've had sex twice, don't act like a boyfriend, maintain a confident, outcome independent frame, maximize your personal appearance, etc, etc).
I never had any problems from watching porn.Not all men do; some men can get away with it and be more or less okay. There's also the issue of how often you do it. I've watched plenty of porn throughout my life and it hasn't affected me at all (that I can tell at least) but I'm not "into" porn. I don't watch it every day or even every week. (I'm too busy having real sex.) I find 99% of porn boring, stupid, or gross, as I talked about here. It's just not my thing. The issue is personality and frequency.
Shura 2017-06-20 15:31:17
Chiming in just to agree that sometimes it's just that she might not be attractive to begin with. Not when I lost my virginity (I was 23), nor when I fucked for the first time, one year, after my first break-up, did I have ED. I only had problems with the 3 women I reckon would fall in the "I wouldn't tell my friends, but I would fuck her" category. Turns out my body knows what's best for me better than I do. 🙂 I've learnt the lesson, by the way. Those women came in close sucession so it was easy for me to reach the conclusion.
September Skye 2017-06-20 16:40:42
I find 99% of porn boring, stupid, or gross, as I talked about here. It’s just not my thing.Yes, the "reverse cowgirl" you mention there is indeed un-sexy, and watching a girl perform oral sex isn't a turn-on either. I just click forward to missionary mainly. Looking at XVideos there aren't many clips that I check out in tabs, so I guess I don't like the vast majority of porn either, but I guess that's the same for everyone; since watching porn isn't the same as having real sex, it has to be fine tuned to the viewer specific taste to have the best effect. Anyway, I think it has its place. It is torture for a guy to go without sex for a long time, and porn alleviates that. If you have a high sex drive it is a pain to go without sex even for a short while. Yes, we might say that a guy should go out and meet girls then, and that is good advice, but not everyone can be good at that and do it quickly. And even when you have a girlfriend, porn is good for variation, or you'd be tempted to cheat eventually.
Duke Royal 2017-06-21 10:13:01
Thank you so much for posting. I am fortunate to suffer ED. Considering that the original, 2005 diagnosis was "your prostate cancer is so advanced, you need to prepare yourself for death", I pretty happy to be here over 12 years later. Guys, listen to the man: that PSA test saved my life. And yes, I do the injection, too. I use a 29 gauge, 1/2 inch syringe and have been injecting my penis for over a decade. Favorite question about that: "Does it hurt?" Answer: What the hell do you think?!? The weirdest part? I come more intensely than ever, but nothing shoots out. This proved to be rather awkward when the French girl I hooked up with post-divorce spoke as much English as I spoke French (5 words, max): she gave me an awesome blowjob, I came incredibly hard... and she began screaming in French like a banshee. She thought I have faked an orgasm and I didn't know how to tell her "j'ai eu le cancer du prostate, donc pas d'éjaculante" (I had prostate cancer and don't ejaculate). The story is funny, but advanced prostate cancer is definitely not. If you are suffering ED, get a PSA test no matter what your age. One saved my life.
Blackdragon 2017-06-21 10:38:22
Considering that the original, 2005 diagnosis was “your prostate cancer is so advanced, you need to prepare yourself for death”, I pretty happy to be here over 12 years later.Well done! I know a lot of over-50 guys who have had to wrestle with the prostate problem. It's a bitch.
Guys, listen to the man: that PSA test saved my life.Absolutely. You've GOT to get these done. I'm shocked at the number of over-40 men who don't do these, or only do these then there's already a problem (which means it's usually too late). I get a PSA test twice a year and get a DRE once a year. I don't like it, but it must be done.
I use a 29 gauge, 1/2 inch syringeYeah, that would be the one to use. I use the same syringes for my TRT injections into the shoulder.
The weirdest part? I come more intensely than ever, but nothing shoots out.I take it you had your prostate removed then. That's exactly what happens.
Shiningtime 2017-06-21 10:51:03
Yes. Porn is a war I have waged with myself going on 4 years now. For me, the main problem with porn isn't ED but the complete lack of motivation to do anything afterwards. It's that pent up sexual energy that drives to do so many things. Also, I've noticed that I get more positive attention from women when I haven't jerked it in a few days. It's like my outward demeanor changes.
LibreMax 2017-06-21 13:19:10
I don't relate to the idea that everything is fake in porn. Neither do I relate to the idea that porn is monolithic. 2hours errection is fake in porn: yeah probably a lot of actors use pills, but not all actores. And I can sustain an errection and fuck during 2 hours without problem if I am into the girl and the sex feels good and she keeps wanting more. And, I rarely see any porn scene that lasts 2 hours. A lot of girls are totally faking it, but some are not. What do you mean by girls are not like porn actresses in reality? I mean there are porn actresses of any ethnicity, there are small actresses, tall actresses, big boobed, fake boobed, flat boobes, skinny, chubby, fat, obese, morbidly obese, there are even modgets! So... what do you guys mean seriously? And the idea that real life sex is not like porn here again what porn are you talking about? And what real life sex are you talking about. There is a very great variety of porn and of ways to have sex in real kife. Have you seen the difference between american porn and japanese porn? Not the same way to do, and that's only one example. There is very mechanical porn, there is also very nice romanticized and sensual porn, there are some very passionate porn scene. Look at several scenes of Manuel Ferrera, he was married to Dana Vespoli they pretty much are a couple and having sex on the camera... There are so manh ways to have sex and porn also show many ways to have sex. I dunno maybe you guys watched a couple of very maomstream robotic scene with fake boobed colagene liped actresses who are totally faking it, but porn is not just that. Girls have no hair in porn? I am sorry but here again porn just reflects the current trend, most girls shave these days or are neatly trimmed, few girls have a big bush. But there is porn with big bushes if you are into that, and all minds of hair size. Hell there is even porn with armpit and hairy legged women! Porn in the 70s was mostly big bushes because that's how women preffered to have it. Scenario of a guy picking up an girl and fucking her immediately, yeah that's totally fake and fantasmatic. Porn is addictive and is the most castrating thing when watched frequently, yes I agree.
Niteride Mick 2017-06-21 17:35:44
That one about young teen boys not knowing teen girls have hair on there vaginas,urban myth All kids do sex education at school shown nude photos of grown men and women Told about puberty how your body changes as you get older !!! Cheers
JD 2017-06-25 07:46:58
For me, the main problem with porn isn’t ED but the complete lack of motivation to do anything afterwards. It’s that pent up sexual energy that drives to do so many things.I think that is the main thing Mark Manson talks about. Loss of sexual drive because it is always "somewhat" sated.
Walter 2017-07-10 10:43:05
If you put a thin condom and apply some lube to the tip, it feels better.
Anon 2017-08-01 19:58:13
I'd add a qualification to your third question, about condoms: do they fit right? Condoms actually have different sizes and are not one size fits all. If they are too tight, they can cut off blood flood and eventually make erections lose their steam. You can find sites with guides to measuring, and charts to find the correct nominal width of condoms for your size. This makes a huge difference in comfort, and also reduces the chance of breakage! So, if the condoms don't fit right, it could be a (temporary) physical issue, not a mental one.