Get Free Email Updates!
Join us for FREE to get instant email updates!
The 12 Months and How They Relate To Dating and Relationships
I’ve spoken at length at this blog and in my books that certain times of the year are good for dating and meeting new women, and bad. Also, certain months are good for relationships while others are more risky or problematic for relationships. Today I will summarize all 12 months and how they relate to both seduction/dating and relationship management. I will assign 1-10 values for both dating and relationships, 1 being horrible and 10 being fantastic. A few caveats before I do this...
-By Caleb Jones
2. As always, I’m talking about the Western world, and no where else. For example, if you live in a region that doesn’t celebrate Christmas in any way whatsoever, then obviously my December description doesn’t apply to you.
3. Obviously there are slight deviations in how the 12 months look in every different nation on the planet, and I can’t cover them all. As usual, I am forced to generalize. Also remember that there are exceptions to every rule, so remember that if you get the urge to nitpick. Okay, here they are, the 12 months of the year and how they relate to your woman life.
January Dating: 10/10. The absolute best month of the year to meet and have sex with new women. My online dating blitzes in January can easily triple the results of other months in the year with the same amount of activity. I experienced the same thing with daygame back when I did that as well. I have often pre-planned January as sarging time many months in advance for this reason. If you hit January and February hard, it can often provide all the sex you need for the rest of the year if you follow a FB/MLTR relationship model.Relationships: 7/10. The boyfriending-up women do in November generally “stick” in January for some couples, though not long afterwards. A few women dump guys right after New Years, but this isn’t super common. FB, MLTR, and OLTR relationships are more or less unaffected.
February Dating 9/10. Not quite as fantastic as January, but still amazing… you can pick up a hell of a lot of women in February, all month long. Women are definitely down to meet new men this month. The days right before or right after Valentine's Day can be particularly effective for non-online game (night game, daygame, and social circle game). Relationships: 4/10. February holds two problems for relationships. The first is that this is the month women start dumping the temporary boyfriends they got back in November. The second is that February contains Kiss A Woman’s Ass For No Reason Day, otherwise known as Valentine’s Day, which requires special handling to avoid betaization. Drama from women in relationships often increases in February for a number of reasons, making it not a great month for relationship management.
March Dating: 8/10. Still fantastic, almost as good as February. The one challenge here is that in the USA, “spring break” is usually at the end of the month, so many women will be unavailable for this entire week. If your country has no holidays or breaks like this in March, consider this month a 9/10. Relationships: 3/10. March is a big breakup month, perhaps one of the worst ones in the year. In the month of March, don’t be surprised to experience breakups (if you’re monogamous) or LSNFTE’s if you’re not. Women you just met since January are usually exempted though, since you’re likely still going through NRE with her at this time. (The NRE phase is when women are the most loyal.)
April Dating: 8/10. Still great, just as good as March, though this is the last month of the year it will be this good. As always, January through April are the best times to meet and score with new women. You should always put most of your dating/seduction/sarging efforts in these months, if you can. Relationships: 6/10. A “normal” month as far as relationships go. Nothing unusually good or bad in April.
May Dating: 7/10. Good, but not great. The wonderful time of January through April is now over, but May is still a viable month for meeting women until the summer months make logistics more difficult. Relationships: 8/10. A very good month for relationships. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman leave a man, for any reason, in May. I’m not sure why… perhaps it has something to do with everyone’s good mood at the improving weather. Regardless of the reason, women seem to be very pleasant in May.
June Dating: 6/10. Summer is now here, which means dating and seduction are now more difficult. It’s not that women aren’t sexually interested in the summer… they are. The problem is logistics. During the summer all these women you’re working on are leaving town, spending time with family, stuck with their kids more often (if they have any) since they’re out of school, going camping, hiking, boating, and other outdoor shit, and hosting visiting family members. Scheduling first and second dates and ensuring they actually occur goes from moderately easy to an absolute nightmare. June isn’t as bad as July and August, but it’s noticeably harder than the earlier months in the year. Relationships: 7/10. A good month, not quite as good as May, but still good. Women’s moods are still improved in the summer due to the good weather. Cheating tends to increase in the summer, but that’s not a problem if you’re nonmonogamous.
July Dating: 5/10. Now in the middle of summer, logistics are really hard. They’re doable… I’ve met and had sex with many new women during the summertime, but it just takes more work, effort, and patience. Relationships: 7/10. Pretty much the same as June.
September Dating: 7/10. After the troublesome summertime, September is a nice time to date new women again. Everyone’s schedules pretty much return to normal, particularly after the first week, making this a pretty good month. Relationships: 9/10. A fantastic month for relationships, one of the best of the year. Women seem to like to “settle in” after the craziness of the summer.
October Dating: 7/10. Another good month for dating, the last one of the year before November hits. Good month to get those last few online or daygame blitzes in. Relationships: 7/10. A good month, not a great one, but a decent one. Nothing unusual here, other than there seems to be an uptick in cheating and LSNFTE's in October.
November Dating: 4/10. The first week it’s fair, but around the second week, it drops off into a dead zone where women are pretty much sexually unavailable (unless you're already seeing them) until January 2nd. They’re either too busy with family and holiday stuff, or they’ve just boyfriend-ed up the nearest beta male so they can enjoy the holidays “with” someone. That means they’re not fucking you.
Relationships: 10/10. November and December are the best months of the year for relationships and relationships management. As I’ve analyzed before, around early November, many women suddenly become terrified of being single during holidays, so they grab the nearest beta male and girlfriend-him up. She usually dumps him around February or March, but for all the Christmas related holidays, she’s got a man and feels more normal. Women who are already in a relationship with a man snuggle up to him, and drama tends to drop (though betaization often tends to rise a little).
December Dating: 2/10. The worst dead zone for dating and pick-up during the entire year. It’s so bad that after December 15th, you literally shouldn’t even bother, and should instead just wait until January 2nd when play time begins. I never look for new women during the months of November and December (unless something very unusual is going on) and you shouldn’t either.
Relationships: 10/10. Just as good as November, though sometimes some men get a little “Christmas drama” from the women they’re in relationships with due to drama within her own family or yours. Never a big deal though; December is a great month for family and relationships.Overall Strategy
Feel free to use this data however you wish, but below is what I usually do when planning out the year, based on an Alpha 2.0 dating structure. (You are planning out each year at the end of every year, aren’t you? If you’re not, you’re not serious about hitting your goals and need to check your motivation levels.)
Plan dating / seduction / sarging time for January, February, and if needed, March and April. Plan a second dating burst, if needed, during September and October. If you’re new at dating and need the practice, or if you love pick-up and seduction, or if you’re a Thrill of the Hunt guy, feel free to add in other months, but avoid November and December. Remember that you can get laid in any month; it's just a matter of how much time and effort it takes. Assuming you’re not a Thrill of the Hunt guy, Jan-Apr is the best time frame to rack up enough FB’s and MLTR’s and place them into rotation so that you’re good to go for the rest of the year without doing any more pick-up or dating. Once I mastered this, I was a very happy man. Don’t prioritize your woman life during the summer months. It is during the summer that both dating and relationships are both somewhat problematic at the same time. Use the summer to either relax from your hard work during Go Time, or to re-focus on your Mission. If you get LSFNTE’s and other such issues during the summer, don’t worry about it.
If you don’t have an OLTR or high-end MLTR at the end of October, be very careful... one or more of your women will attempt to push for a more serious relationship around this time. As always, be nice while keeping a very strong frame. Soft next if any drama or hard betaization occurs. If she LSFNTE's you, let her go. Don't worry, she'll be back. If you have an OLTR or high-end MLTR, use November and December to deepen the relationship and bond, if that’s something you want. Properly investing your time into a relationship during these months usually brings greater rewards down the road; at least that’s been my experience. Don’t go beta though! Don’t get de facto monogamous! Don’t start compromising!
Want over 35 hours of how-to podcasts on how to improve your woman life and financial life? Want to be able to coach with me twice a month? Want access to hours of technique-based video and audio? The SMIC Program is a monthly podcast and coaching program where you get access to massive amounts of exclusive, members-only Alpha 2.0 content as soon as you sign up, and you can cancel whenever you want. Click here for the details.
Get Free Email Updates!
Join us for FREE to get instant email updates!
pjoter 2017-10-16 05:29:42
Love this kind of posts. Very useful for planning and goals setting. How did you compile this information? I would like to see results in my area taking similar approach.
Marty McFly 2017-10-16 05:49:28
What, no time for a summer fling?
Chuck 2017-10-16 06:03:15
Much of the same could be said for business and sales. Fairly similar pattern, even if for different reasons.
JEB 2017-10-16 06:28:27
If you live far up north like I do, everything is a bit skewed (except for sept-dec). January, February and March turn to some of the worst months for dating, since there is 4-5 hours of sunlight a day (about 10 am to 3 pm or 10-15 if you are not American). It's freezing and everyone feels depressed. Relationships are very easy to handle, however, due to the exact same reasons. I usually use August-October for the dating spree. This usually fills up the roster until spring, and then GO time begins in the north. Then you can focus on your projects for a few months, take a vacation, and before you know it it's September again and you can MLTR-up for the winter. I know GO-time is in January for everyone else, but it's practically impossible to maintain that amount of positive energy when you don't see the sun for more than a few hours a day.
Sag 2017-10-16 06:28:47
I agree when it comes to the October til April period, yet I don't get the summer problem. I live in western Europe and women here seem to become more horny once summer has come. They also tend to travel like almost every week, taking short trips for like 3 days or more (especially in summer) and they do it almost the whole year through, which means women from foreign countries will also visit our cities as well. Idk about the US and relationships but summertime in Europe is basically getting laid time. From my experience sex increases a lot during summertime. The problem though is that younger women have even more options since most guys get horny as fuck as soon as they leave their houses. The good thing is, hot Milfs have become more attractive and they take care of their bodies, because they are looking for sex as well. Overall however many women travel, party, drink and they get laid left and right during summertime
PK 2017-10-16 07:28:35
Hmm, looks like I'm about to be separated (finally!) and enter the dating pool again just in time for the worst months, November and December. I'm still going to try, though.
AnonDude 2017-10-16 07:47:30
Now that was a useful post. Actually considering adjusting my plans for early next year because of this.
MoChnk 2017-10-16 08:04:10
Haha BD, the crystal picture made me crack up since in the last post you said you're not a crystal guy. I know you aren't, but this picture just came in the perfect moment to generate some situational comedy 🙂 Other than that, great post as usual!
joelsuf 2017-10-16 08:11:40
BD is spot on with December. Unless I'm in an actual relationship, I usually take all of December off the opposite sex, as well as the rest of the winter months. When I say "time off" I don't mean completely stop, it just means I don't hunt as hard. Although this post got me thinking, and I think if I started hunting a little harder in January and February I'll be surprised. I moved to a place that isn't as cold so I shouldn't have much issue hunting during winter here.
joelsuf 2017-10-16 08:14:21
You are planning out each year at the end of every year, aren’t you? If you’re not, you’re not serious about hitting your goals and need to check your motivation levels.How people don't do this is beyond me. It seems like its common sense, but then again no one really likes planning anything nowadays.
Biz4prez 2017-10-16 08:26:59
Hey BD, should a guy who is getting over Approach Anxiety follow the plan for November & December.. Don't you think taking "time off" from women would hurt his progress? For these guys do you recommend they continue to pound the pavement to get more comfortable approaching and gain some experience?
Magok 2017-10-16 11:20:07
Please someone make this list for the south hemisphere.
Blackdragon 2017-10-16 11:35:49
I know GO-time is in January for everyone else, but it’s practically impossible to maintain that amount of positive energy when you don’t see the sun for more than a few hours a day.Then I would move. Seriously. I would never tolerate such conditions.
Haha BD, the crystal picture made me crack up since in the last post you said you’re not a crystal guy. I know you aren’t, but this picture just came in the perfect moment to generate some situational comedyI did it for Gambler.
Hey BD, should a guy who is getting over Approach Anxiety follow the plan for November & December.. Don’t you think taking “time off” from women would hurt his progress?Only if the AA plan didn't involve actually trying to fuck women. If it was just the Good Looking Loser stuff of saying hi, etc, then it would be a fine time to do it, since the malls are more crowded in Nov and Dec.
Please someone make this list for the south hemisphere.Just take the above description and swap the weather patterns. (Sunny in Dec, rainy in June.)
The New Yorker 2017-10-16 13:12:44
Hey BD, Speaking of months, let's say I live the digital nomad type of lifestyle where I'm never settled in one single country for over six months (to avoid residency taxes). For instance, January to May in Hong Kong, June to October in Argentina, and November to December in the US. My question is would I be able to maintain a roster of reliable FBs and MLTRs? Or are long distance FBs the only viable solution? Or would I need to do some blitzes every time I change countries? And should I ever tell my FBs or MLTRs that I'll be away and unreachable for months, before I fly to a different country?
Blackdragon 2017-10-16 13:45:27
let’s say I live the digital nomad type of lifestyle where I’m never settled in one single country for over six months (to avoid residency taxes).Your questions are far beyond the scope of this article. I will be facing the same problem when I make my exit in 2025. The short answer is to build a up huge roster of ex FB's and MLTR's in your core countries, mixed with normal game, and sugar daddy game if you're old enough / make enough money. I will address this in more detail in the future.
Blackdragon 2017-10-16 13:52:23
How did you compile this information? I would like to see results in my area taking similar approach.Lots and lots of tracking and spreadsheets, both in my dating / relationships and the dating /relationships of other people I know, over a period of 9 years (since 2008), in addition to some statistics.
What, no time for a summer fling?Who said that? Get some FB's in May and fuck them all summer long if you want.
KryptoKate 2017-10-16 15:58:21
This is funny. There are definitely seasonal patterns. From a female perspective here's what I've observed: 1. In the first couple weeks of September suddenly every guy you've ever dated, had sex with, flirted with, or known who is still single will hit you up with a text or Facebook message with some kind of pretext. Even if you haven't seen or spoken to them or thought of them for years. All of a sudden Sept causes tons of random messages from every guy in your history. My friends and I refer to this as "lock down season" bc it seems like every single guy who has had the summer to play suddenly realizes that it is getting cold and he doesn't have a woman for regular sex throughout the winter season so they all freak out and try to get one before it gets truly cold. During summer there are festivals and concerts and lots of opportunities to meet women so guys feel surrounded by flesh and safer about not having a regular source of sex, but as the weather gets colder they look to find the cold weather girl they can watch movies with and have sex all winter. I don't think guys know they all do this but it is like clockwork that in Sept the messages start rolling in and it happens to all my friends too, so I'm sure every guy who is single is just sending out messages to every girl in his contact list bc some subconscious part of him realizes he's seeing way less bare limbs around him and has some kind of scarcity effect reaction. 2. I agree that it is rare for relationships to end during November and December bc of all the family obligations and plans and people feel the need to see them through with a partner and seem respectable for their families. However I disagree that it is necessarily a happy relationship time as I see a TON of crappy relationships and tension around this time that are solely kept going to keep up appearances during the holidays. Lots of drama and fights. This may not happen to you bc you've laid down no drama as a condition to your relationships, but it happens a LOT and I see and hear tons of tears and fighting and stress from my female friends about their relationships and family and kids in general around the the holiday season. They are posting B.S. happy pics on social media and then freaking out and crying to their friends and screaming at their kids throughout it. 3. .....and this is shown by the fact that there is no more common time for breakups than the two weeks after Xmas. I have seen SO many relationships and marriages end right around New Years, it is definitely the most common break up time. This is even more true for older people where kids are involved bc they will keep shit together for the kids during Christmas and then it just reaches a breaking point and there's a huge tension and blow out at New Years. 4. If you want a one night stand or random hookup, New Years Eve is the easiest single night of the year for that to happen. NO ONE wants to not have someone to kiss, everyone is drunk, etc. 5. January is definitely good for new beginnings especially bc so many couples break up around New Years. So lots of people back on the market. 6. I can see why you find summer to be a hard season bc you're focused on longer term sustainable relationships and online dating, and not into drinking or party scenes, but for younger guys who are into more of a partying, social scene, concerts/festivals etc situation, summer is of course prime hook up time. And if you live in a place where there are lots of tourists I would think it's like shooting fish in a barrel to be the cute local guy giving a girl on vaca a fun fling on her trip. In fact if one is a good looking younger guy I would think there would literally be no easier way to get chicks than to work as some kind of tour guide in a summer vacation spot. Or just hang out at the beach. When I was in high school/college me and my friends used to go to cape cod in the summer and we'd always hook up with some local guys even if they were a type we'd never date in "real life". Women definitely lower their ASD to basically nothing when they're out of their normal environment and not around anyone they know and no one will find out.
Sag 2017-10-16 16:07:28
@ KryptoKate you are spot on
joelsuf 2017-10-16 16:25:45
Hey BD, should a guy who is getting over Approach Anxiety follow the plan for November & December.. Don’t you think taking “time off” from women would hurt his progress?For these guys do you recommend they continue to pound the pavement to get more comfortable approaching and gain some experience?You wanna know how to REALLY address approach anxiety? Get a job that requires you to sell things, or talk to people, or pays you based on your people skills. Retail, sales, hospitality, all of those, while really shitty jobs, will skyrocket your people skills. Doing what the PUAs say and harassing chicks at the mall won't do it in the long term. And it may also get you in trouble with the law (and rightly so).
prepped 2017-10-16 16:40:03
Brilliant. I've known for years about seasonality to meeting and dating new women. Your 12-month calendar of proven results is exceptionally valuable. Facebook status changes per month data confirm your own observations in the number of relationship status changes from month-to-month. Not that every girl updates their status religiously or rigorously, but the stats seem to line up pretty well with your own data. Here's a link to an article with a nice chart: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2616821/Facebook-statuses-reveal-months-people-break-Christmas-Valentines.html The spike right at mid-March corresponds beautifully to your data.
Anon 2017-10-16 19:31:37
BD, would you say this is derived from your experience in online dating? I ask because I've had vastly different results from night game and day game cold approach, but in terms of online dating what you describe here makes a lot of sense (and thank you for sharing).
Mike Hunter 2017-10-16 19:47:01
Interesting, I see how Jan-Mar is a good time for picking up new women, and that's been my experience with "regular" women in town. I live in a college town and freshmen start coming in late July to August. Regular students also move back in late August. So because of the unique differences of this town theoretically late July to September should be a great time for sarging. But in practice I've found it very difficult. Maybe that's because my online footprint is limited to POF (tons of single moms and age restrictions) as well as OKCupid (almost exclusively 'townies' like me). If I expand into seeking arrangement or Tinder perhaps I could turn my blitzes during that time around. Only trial and error will tell. Last year I went back to school and tried day gaming hard on Campus when school came in (50 approaches). I found that I got a ton of numbers, but almost none of them went anywhere. I got literally only two dates. But the numbers were all from way hotter women then I was used to. Perhaps I need to work on day game, perhaps it's because my text game sucks, or perhaps it's because I don't have what that demographic wants (Muscles; Social Proof by being in a top frat; and money from mommy & daddy as well as Uncle $ugar). Currently dieting until him HWP, and thinking about making 1-2 approaches every day I'm on campus just as another experiment. Social circle game and being a pretty boy + tinder (which I can't do because I'm 30 pounds overweight) seem to be king on campus. So I definitely need to look into trying to get leads though social circles! We'll see where things go.
Leon 2017-10-16 20:05:04
@KryptoKate Thx! I enjoy your comment much more than BD's post this time (which is just meh, in my personal opinion). I should read Girls with Game more. I'm totally agreed with the ''breaking up around New Year'' mark. Been there done that. Usually, an already-in-trouble couple will try the best to push through Xmas, put a mask on ourselves to look like a happy couple (even without kids, ruining our friends/family's holiday mood and breaking up in cold winter does sound terrifying back then). Funny thing is, that act, in turn, makes us realize how fake and in-bad-shape our relationship has become, indirectly lead to a huge burst/breakup right around New Year Eve.
David 2017-10-16 22:10:42
I tend to plan my hunting around "reasons to let loose." I believe college girls are the easiest lay, so I always get aggressive when ai know school is about to break. 3 day weekends, the first night of a long break, etc. Girls are drinking heavily and looking to do some naughty stuff after being good all semester!
Way_of_Man 2017-10-17 01:02:08
September becomes a 9/10 if you're in college or in any function/capacity around college girls. I had an ex break up with me when I was going to school in Sept. I could throw a football from any point on campus and probably hit 5 girls who would have slept with me. **Also** had a girl break up with me a week before Christmas. I was in a very similar situation and the exact same place. It was a fucking desert trying to find replacement pussy.
JEB 2017-10-17 01:43:05
Then I would move. Seriously. I would never tolerate such conditions.Don't forget that in the summer, you only get about 4-5 hours of darkness as well, which makes everyone super happy and super horny. There's a lot of other reasons to move though, such as high taxes, immigration and the inflow of PC from the US (and Sweden) into our justice system. Thing is, even after taxes you still get some of the best wages in the world as well as the best living conditions. My income will take a massive plunge if I move anywhere else (except maybe the US), unless I can maintain my current wages (or somewhat) and just take a tax rebate from living somewhere else. I'm planning on being part of the moving of pharmaceutical production from most of the European countries to Asia, getting Scandinavian wages but paying low taxes. That plan will depend a lot on whether Trump goes to war with NKorea or not though. Until then, enduring some dark months is the single largest annoyance I have, so I think I will be fine.
Neil 2017-10-17 02:33:04
You wanna know how to REALLY address approach anxiety? Get a job that requires you to sell things, or talk to people, or pays you based on your people skills. Retail, sales, hospitality, all of those, while really shitty jobs, will skyrocket your people skills. Doing what the PUAs say and harassing chicks at the mall won’t do it in the long term. And it may also get you in trouble with the law (and rightly so).Sorry that’s completely the wrong advice. Firstly, who in their right mind would move into a low paid job with no career prospects, just to get used to speaking to people!?! You can go to evening classes, public speaking seminars, improv lessons etc.. and not screw up your job prospects. Approach anxiety is a perceived negative reaction based on women refusing to see you as a sexual prospect. Therefore you could be in a job chatting to people all day and it’s still not going to help you build attraction with women unless you plan to flirt heavily with all the female customers which would end up with you getting reported to your bosses. As for harassing women in malls, that’s just idiots with no social skills. I’ve done daygame all over the world, in streets, shops, stations, airports, parks and never even attracted attention. Remember the best pick up, should look like it’s not even pick-up.
Dom 2017-10-17 07:55:58
@KryptoKate - thanks for the comment, interesting to read female perspective. I wonder how it ended up for your brother? In BD's post on long distance relationships 3 yrs ago you wrote:
I’d like some advice. My younger brother is a college student and he’s a tender, sweet bunnyrabbit of a guy who is head over heels in love with his girlfriend who attends another school. They drive two hours on weekends to visit each other. He’s at an engineering school that is 75% men. I’ve met her and she’s nice enough but she also has an enormous rack and she’s smart so it’s perfectly obvious what’s going to happen in this situation…Your comments on that post were also very insightful, thanks
joelsuf 2017-10-17 08:33:52
Sorry that’s completely the wrong advice.No, its actually perfect advice. Before you can even think about PUAism, you need basic conversation skills and the ability to relate to others. This article explains why a lot better than I can.
who in their right mind would move into a low paid job with no career prospects, just to get used to speaking to people!?! You can go to evening classes, public speaking seminars, improv lessons etc.. and not screw up your job prospects.Or you can take a part time retail or hospitality gig on the side and continue with your main job. Those classes you mentioned help, but they don't really represent an organic way of developing people skills.
Therefore you could be in a job chatting to people all day and it’s still not going to help you build attraction with women unless you plan to flirt heavily with all the female customers which would end up with you getting reported to your bosses.In my whole 15 or so year career in retail and hospitality, this has happened to me exactly ONCE. And I wasn't even reported to my supervisor, my co-workers just said that I went too far on one particular regular customer, who I then smoothed things out with anyways. There's a reason why bartenders, bouncers, and club promoters have to shake chicks off with a stick.
the best pick up, should look like it’s not even pick-up.Exactly. Which is why PUAism is so counterproductive.
Roberto 2017-10-17 09:20:45
Please someone make this list for the south hemisphere.I think it's going to be different, subtly or otherwise, in lots of places depending not only on the culture of the place but also on the climate. For example, Sydney with its temperate climate and seasons that are the reverse of those in the temperate northern hemisphere, will no doubt be different from Darwin, with its two seasons (wet and dry) and relatively little temperature variation. But the principles still apply, you just might need to adapt them. I certainly agree with BD about January and February where I usually am – great times for the hunt, and also late spring early summer.
CrabRangoon 2017-10-17 10:51:29
I hate December-it is such a dead time across the board. The weather starts getting pretty rough here in Chicago and I can't stand to see any more mentions of the holidays by this time, since the X-mas deluge now starts the day after Halloween. It's damn near impossible to make plans with anyone during this time, let alone new women so I totally agree here.
Kelly 2017-10-17 12:29:10
Black Dragon or anyone who wants to answer this: I read your post and debate on not giving women compliments before sex. While I understand the reasoning behind that, my hang up seems to be thinking too much about what to say when I approach them. While I've seen guys do well with the "hey I thought you were cute so I wanted to say hi" approach, I was wondering if there was anything you'd recommend for someone who wanted to approach but not with a compliment.
Blackdragon 2017-10-17 13:17:03
Facebook status changes per month data confirm your own observations in the number of relationship status changes from month-to-month. Not that every girl updates their status religiously or rigorously, but the stats seem to line up pretty well with your own data. Here’s a link to an article with a nice chart: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2616821/Facebook-statuses-reveal-months-people-break-Christmas-Valentines.html The spike right at mid-March corresponds beautifully to your data.Yep. Facts are facts.
BD, would you say this is derived from your experience in online dating? I ask because I’ve had vastly different results from night game and day game cold approach, but in terms of online dating what you describe here makes a lot of sense (and thank you for sharing).Read my comment above about where the data is derived from; mostly online game and daygame, and not just me but many others. If your experience is purely night game, it could be different. There are also exceptions to the rule, like Kate's example of a guy in the summer who lives somewhere very sunny who focuses completely on gaming tourists.
Don’t forget that in the summer, you only get about 4-5 hours of darkness as well, which makes everyone super happy and super horny. There’s a lot of other reasons to move though, such as high taxes, immigration and the inflow of PC from the US (and Sweden) into our justice system.Oh Jesus, you're that Scandinavian guy. My suggestion for you to move ASAP just tripled.
My income will take a massive plunge if I move anywhere elseIncorrect. Not your after-tax income. You live in the only place in the entire world where total tax burden is actually higher than in the US.
unless I can maintain my current wagesYou shouldn't be working for wages long-term. You should get your own business started. Like right now.
I think I will be fine.Excuses, excuses, excuses....
Black Dragon or anyone who wants to answer this:https://blackdragonblog.com/off-topic
JEB 2017-10-17 15:41:30
You shouldn’t be working for wages long-term. You should get your own business started. Like right now. My current wages are about $80/hr at 27. They will increase to over $100/hr the next few years (even without bonuses). I am planning on starting a consultant business, but that requires a few years of experience in the field. I know that you hate college and I agree with you completely if we exclude the STEM fields, but if you can (and want to) get a degree in a scientific field without going into debt, you can get business opportunities in a niche that pretty much guarantees lifetime employment/an everexpanding market that everyone else is excluded from.
Blackdragon 2017-10-17 16:12:05
if you can (and want to) get a degree in a scientific field without going into debt, you can get business opportunities in a niche that pretty much guarantees lifetime employmentYou have no idea how wrong you are. There is no such thing as "guaranteed lifetime employment" in the modern era, and that includes tech fields. The only economic guarantees are those you make to yourself, via your own work and own business (if that!). But I can see you're already wedded to this plan and there's no changing your mind, so I wish you the best.
buzz 2017-10-17 19:29:18
Very interesting and informative post BD. It matches what I have experienced very closely. Location makes a big difference so I am at North America 45 degrees north latitude. While the majority of people are sun people there are also a sizable minority of people who hate heat, humidity, the outdoors above freezing and the sun. Some additional underlying forces are at work in this area, in the summertime all women have to do is go outside in skimpy clothing and they literally have to beat men off with flyswatters, they do bitch about this some, but when fall comes and they are too cold for the skimpy clothing anymore they start to feel a lack of male attention compared to summer anyway. Also day length is shortening which causes the leaves to change color and the white tailed dear to go into heat. While humans are much more complicated they are still mammals and these two effects cause females to switch from day/event game to online game (where they tend to post pictures of themselves in summer clothing) and become much more easy to approach during the colder months.
JEB 2017-10-17 23:27:37
You have no idea how wrong you are. There is no such thing as “guaranteed lifetime employment” in the modern era, and that includes tech fields. The only economic guarantees are those you make to yourself, via your own work and own business (if that!). But I can see you’re already wedded to this plan and there’s no changing your mind, so I wish you the best.I should've phrased myself better; I meant relative to other fields. The tech/science/medical fields are just some of the "last to go" compared to the rest in case of a collapse. I've invested in a nice unemployment insurance in case of harsh times as well - I am not delusional. I agree completely with your diversification of income strategy, but I plan to get some experience and afterwards start a consulting firm within my field as my first business venture - Then I can add to that list afterwards. I simply think it would be a terrible idea to try to accomplish many different business goals at once.
Kevin Velasco 2017-10-18 01:36:21
Thanks to location-independent income streams, I've spent the last two years living by beaches in the Caribbean, Central America, Europe (May - September), Australia (December - March), and now islands in Asia. This Christmas will be the third one in a row spent on a beach... Endless Summer Game
Neil 2017-10-18 01:52:46
No, its actually perfect advice. Before you can even think about PUAism, you need basic conversation skills and the ability to relate to others.True, but having AA doesn't necessarily mean that you have poor conversation skills. I know loads of guys who can sit with a load of people and chat, joke, tease & laugh with them but ask them to go up to a girl at a bar or in a bookshop and they'd turn into jelly. As I said before, AA is guys imagining the hurt of being rejected by a girl for trying to chat them up. Its not fearing that they can't have an interesting conversation with her. In my whole 15 or so year career in retail and hospitality, this has happened to me exactly ONCE. And I wasn’t even reported to my supervisor, my co-workers just said that I went too far on one particular regular customer, who I then smoothed things out with anyways. But that's you. Another guy who's not socially calibrated could go too far and be reported to his Supervisor & end up messing up his career.
There’s a reason why bartenders, bouncers, and club promoters have to shake chicks off with a stickYep, but it's got to do with getting free entry, free drinks & free VIP access not their witty chat. I mean how many funny conversational bouncers have you met?!..
Which is why PUAism is so counterproductive.Why?
joelsuf 2017-10-18 09:30:36
Another guy who’s not socially calibrated could go too far and be reported to his Supervisor & end up messing up his career.Really? Getting canned from a retail/hospitality job is "messing up your career?"
Why?PUAism, at least for the last 8 or so years, has everything backwards. They teach techniques and gimmicky routines BEFORE social skills. The techniques and routines work, but you need social skills first. Before the 2010s, they preached that you should learn basic social skills before the routines and stuff. This is why we're seeing creeps getting booted from shopping malls and chicks making instagram accounts dedicated to ending cold approaching.
Neil 2017-10-18 12:42:20
Really? Getting canned from a retail/hospitality job is “messing up your career?” Depends. If it's a part time job in some health hazard fast food joint then no, it isn't. If it's working as a senior sales assistant in an upmarket department store, then yeah it could be. "PUAism, at least for the last 8 or so years, has everything backwards. They teach techniques and gimmicky routines BEFORE social skills. The techniques and routines work, but you need social skills first. Before the 2010s, they preached that you should learn basic social skills before the routines and stuff. This is why we’re seeing creeps getting booted from shopping malls " Your right about social skills being important. The issue with a lot of PUA companies is that they have these flashy YouTube videos and impressionablle guys buy into their 'Wooo Crazy guy' rubbish & then wonder why they get shot down all the time. This happens when you get companies that teach club game trying to use the same techniques in the day (Julian from RSD is a good example of this and all the flack he got when he tried his crap out in Tokyo). What they'd probably say is that it's down to guys to learn social skills before they attempt pick up as if they started incorporating into their teachings, they'd lose guys who ARE socially calibrated and who don't want to sit through things they know already. I think it's a difficult path to navigate. As I mentioned before, I know a lot of guys who have great social skills but don't know how to flirt with a girl. Ive tried showing them how to open and flirt in the day but most of them are so socially conditioned that they can't get their head round cold approach and are sceptical of online dating.
Marty 2017-10-19 03:59:45
What they’d probably say is that it’s down to guys to learn social skills before they attempt pick up as if they started incorporating into their teachings, they’d lose guys who ARE socially calibrated and who don’t want to sit through things they know already.Totally agree with this. I did my first ever real PUA stuff in 2014 as a 46 yo who had been married for 20 years and just broke up from a 3 year live in GF post marriage. I had good social skills and even pretty good skills with women due to many affairs during my marriage. PUA can never be all things to all guys. Everyone needs to develop differently in different areas. Most PUA stuff I got into was pretty clear about this.
PUAism, at least for the last 8 or so years, has everything backwards. They teach techniques and gimmicky routines BEFORE social skills.I really don't understand where you get this from. As per above I first got into PUA in 2014. I did the RSD World Summit in Vegas, 1 RSD bootcamp, got access to a few of their programs plus read a lot of other guys. There was literately zero focus on gimmicky routines. 100% number one focus was surprise surprise "outcome independence" and being internally congruent. Then it was all about having real value as a guy and working like fuck to get has high value as you personally could be as quick as possible. Being the sort of guy women would like and being able to project that. There was a bit of fake it to you make by learning how to project those qualities if you didn't have them already while you were getting there. But being older I didn't really need to as I already had a certain level with with life experience and a certain amount of physical and business success. The last thing was just learning to overcome AA. Some of that is just getting OI and some is just practice. Like anything if you approach 1000 girls all of a sudden it starts to click. Overall for me I went from being a old guy who was able to pull chicks my own age and was ok with women in general to being able to pull hot girls in there 20's out of clubs both in the US and Aust. It was fucking amazing! RSD has its faults and obviously their main thing is to make money for themselves. But they are definitely not gimmicky despite what it might look like sometimes. We even did this amazing high level energy awareness meditation training on that world summit which to this day is some of the best stuff I have ever come across. I still use it every day.
KryptoKate 2017-10-19 13:06:44
@ Leon Very good point. Having to "fake it" with your relationship for social/family reasons makes it so much more intolerable and just ends up pointing out how big the gap is between ideal and reality. Hadn't thought of that before but yes that's a big factor. @ Dom Brother is still with that girl but it has gotten worse and he is set up to fall even harder now. He transferred schools to be with her. Then dropped out of his engineering program to graduate with some easy/useless liberal arts degree. They just graduated and she has entered a doctoral program and he followed her to live with her in a completely random state no one would otherwise choose to live in. She's in her graduate program and he is now a thousand miles away from all his friends and family with a worthless degree working some part time gig that pays almost nothing, living with her. Probably mostly playing video games all day while she's out. He is still totally sweet and innocent but also deluded protected and entitled (my dads fault as he completely subsidizes him which he never did for the other siblings). He is going to be devastated when she eventually dumps him, which she almost certainly will. I just hope that at that point he doesn't turn into a raging woman hating psycho...most dark hearts come from being broken, etc. He is kind of the stereotypical over protected dependent millenial and I hope he doesn't turn to the dark side when reality inevitably comes crashing through the door but we shall see, I give the relationship 2 more years max, and that would only be by him being so pitiful that she feels guilty breaking up with him and puts it off.
Curtis 2017-10-25 07:39:03
When you guys go on these dates be sure you ask them fairly soon how many men dumped their asses first! Usually, they will reply - "What? I broke up with all of my BFs/ Ex-husbands and gave them the boot!" You want them bragging about this. Now you got them for later on when the "Exclusive question" comes up. I will usually throw in here stuff about how I am VERY different than most guys that do everything as usual and if this is what they are looking for. (lol) Then, when the time is right to have the "talk" I simply bring up how SHE said she broke up with all (most women will be 80%+) of her mono relationships herself. Then I mention that she is not alone. Virtually all women do this at an 82% odds and its usually within 4 years. I show her the stats on paper. Then I let her know that I love her (or care for her if you do) but knowing that you WILL break up with me next just does not make me feel very secure and safe. I love spending time with you and want you in my life forever possibly but I just can't be one of those dumb guys that are a dime a dozen. Then to re-direct I mention that I am very busy with my biz and mono relationships are too much drama and fighting. I have been doing this 1-2 punch last 2-3 weeks and so far its working like wonders with online dating. When they get mad I just say, "hey it sounds like you need to find a dumb or controlling guy maybe and the good news is there are a whole lot of those out there!" And ignore them..... (but damn it's insane just how many dumb men are really out there!) So, when they are asking the next man to be exclusive, in the back of their minds they are gonna be thinking - "oh shit this man is a dumb ass for saying yes to me knowing I am gonna dump his ass eventually..." How long do you think her attraction will last w/ him now?
Thomas Crown 2017-11-05 04:54:40
Thanks for the post Caleb, it inspired me to think and write about my own results after one year in Game month-by-month and see how they're similar. From a blue pill background, you think that Spring is only a mating season for other species... how wrong I/we were!