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Stop Thinking With Your Dick
Today’s article is aimed towards you guys who are more woman experienced; those of you who have already dated and/or slept with a sizeable number of women in your life, and those men who can get new women relatively easily. Those of you still at the beginner and intermediate levels can still read this article and keep what I say in mind as you get better with women, because if/when you do, you will face this issue as well.
-By Caleb Jones
When your dick has little to no power, it sucks. You don’t get laid. When you do get laid, you often get oneitis. Indeed, this is why beta males get oneitis. It’s exciting to have sex with a pretty girl, or a girl who’s great in bed, when it doesn’t happen to you very often. So, you get oneitis. (Alpha Male 1.0’s get oneitis too, but for different reasons.) So you need to give your dick power by A) gaining the ability to have regular sex with women you find at least cute and B) mastering the skills necessary to bring new cute/hot women into your sex life as quickly and easily as possible.
The problem comes when you reach that level. After years of working hard on your physical appearance, confidence, outcome independence, dating skills, seduction skills, and possibly relationship management skills, you reach that point so few men ever reach, of being able to get laid, and with cute/hot girls, whenever you want. Now your dick has power. Which is good.
The problem is when he starts taking over. A very common problem with men at the advanced level of dating skill is that you start thinking with your dick rather than with your heart or your brain. You start having sex with cute/hot girls not because you need to have sex, or because you need to have more sex, but because you can. Now you’re just in the “habit” of doing so. You’ve essentially put your sex life on autopilot and put your dick in control. You want your dick to be happy, but you don’t want him calling the shots. He’s way too stupid.
I myself have run into this problem in the last few years, and fortunately I caught myself pretty quickly whenever it started to become a pattern of behavior. You need to do the same. There are five symptoms that you will experience when this happens. You need to be constantly aware of these. If you start doing them, that means your dick is in control. Slap yourself in the face (maybe slap him once or twice too) and re-assert control. Here are the symptoms, listed in no particular order.
1. Having sex with women that you’re not necessarily attracted to, but just to get the “lay” or the “win.”
This is when a sexually experienced guy lets his inner Thrill of the Hunt man take over. Even Pleasure of Sex men do this sometimes when they reach an advanced level of game. It’s when you already are having sex with plenty of super attractive women, but when you encounter an average looking woman who is a convenient target, you fuck her too, because, well, why not? I’m a badass and I can seduce anyone I want. Who cares if she’s not nearly as attractive as the women I’m currently having sex with? If I fuck her, that’s just one more conquest I can beat my chest about. This is bad news. You should only go down in quality when you have a very specific, rational reason to do so (and I can’t even think of any at the moment), not because you need another notch count. How stupid.
2. Having sex with women that you’re not necessarily attracted to, but because they’re there. I have been guilty of this. This is when you’re on a first date or some kind of first meet with a new woman and she’s moderately cute to you, but if you walked past her on the street, you wouldn’t have given her a second look. But, since your dick is in control, you think, “Well, she’s cute, and hey, I’m here on this date already, so I might as well fuck her. Why not?” Sometimes your dick can get a little smart, and attempt to use magical dick-logic on you, like “Hey, if I don’t fuck her, the time you spend on this date/meet would have been wasted! You don’t want to waste your time, DO YOU???”
So you have sex with her, and after you’re done, your dick has gone back to sleep, and you’re back in control, you think, “Why the hell did I do that? I didn’t need to do that. I have better things to do. Huh.” You should only have sex with a woman because A) you find her attractive and B) you need to have sex with someone new because you’re not currently getting enough sex. If either of those things are not true, then you probably shouldn’t waste your time having sex with her. Just because she’s cute and available and you have the ability to have sex with her doesn’t mean you should. You should have more reasons for sex than that, at least in my view.
3. Wanting new women when you already have plenty and don’t need any more.
This is when you already have several cute/hot girls on rotation, you’re getting all the sex you want, but for some damn reason, on certain evenings you find yourself headed out to the bars or clubs looking for new chicks anyway. Or during the day, you find yourself perusing the dating sites looking for hotties. Why are you doing this? You don’t need to do this! Now if you’re not getting laid nearly as much as you need or if the women you’re having sex with are not ones you find attractive, then yes, you need to do this and get it done. But once it’s done, you’re done. Stop focusing on getting new women when you already have ones you like.
If you ever find yourself doing this, your dick is in control. Tell him to shut the fuck up, wait until tonight when you have sex with your super hot FB, then re-take control from him and get back to work. The entire point of getting women on rotation is so you don’t need to spend any more time in your woman life and can now devote your time to your happiness, goals, and Mission. If you’re a hardcore Thrill of the Hunt guy, are completely self aware about it, and choose to constantly bang new women forever, then I guess go ahead (and I’m glad I’m not you). But if you’re normal, you have better things to do than to constantly seek out new women to have sex with when your active roster is already full. Stop it with that shit and get back to the other areas of your life that need addressing, of which I’m sure there are many.
4. Keep going out and sarging for new women when you don’t need them. This is the same thing as number three except that you actually act on it. You’ve got plenty of women in your life, they’re all cute/hot to you, and you’re getting plenty of sex, but your dick is so out of control he wants MORE. Again, tell him to shut the fuck up, enjoy the hotties you already have in your life, and get back to work on something more productive.
5. Saying yes to women who come back into your sex life when you don’t need them.
I’ve definitely been guilty of this one. This is when you’re a solid Alpha Male 2.0 and have plenty of women on rotation, as well as a decent roster of ex-FB’s and ex-MLTR’s who have LSNFTE’d you in the past. Then, one day, one of your ex’s hits you up out of the blue and asks you how it’s going, which of course is woman language for “I just dumped my boyfriend so I need you to fuck me again please.”
You’ve got plenty of cute/hot women already and you’re getting laid left and right. You don’t need her. But since your dick is in control, you’re all like, HELLS YEAH!!! Then you try to figure out where in the holy hell you’re going to schedule her in. And eventually you do, upsetting all the other projects (and perhaps women) in your life just because you wanted to squeeze in yet another woman because she was “there.” As I’ve explained before, you need to know what your sexual minimums are, both in frequency of sex and number of women. Then hit those numbers. Then, once you hit those numbers, stick with them. If women next you, or LSNFTE you, or they become problematic or unreliable and you have to next them, then go get more women to replace them. But once you’re at your minimums, don’t keep adding to them. You’ve got more important things to do. Your dick doesn’t care about your financial life, your fitness, your investments, or your spirituality, but you should.
Stop thinking with your dick. He’s important, and he needs to be kept happy, but once he’s happy, he needs to shut the fuck up and you need to call the shots, not him. Want over 35 hours of how-to podcasts on how to improve your woman life and financial life? Want to be able to coach with me twice a month? Want access to hours of technique-based video and audio? The SMIC Program is a monthly podcast and coaching program where you get access to massive amounts of exclusive, members-only Alpha 2.0 content as soon as you sign up, and you can cancel whenever you want. Click here for the details.
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The New Yorker 2018-03-29 05:25:22
So what do you do with ex FBs/ MLTRs in the last situation? Keep them as a sporadic backup? Refuse their offer and move on? What are the chances that she will become a reliable woman in your roster again after a LSNFTE?
TheRealCurtis 2018-03-29 05:42:58
@BD Damn, what a well thought out and objective article! Can't imagine the ladies would complain about this one either lol. I have done this before too and after having sex with a couple of 4 or 5s (couple years ago) I was like WTF am I doing lol? So, you are exactly right about everything here. It's kinda like managing any other thing that is too convientent - social media, TV, etc. We let it consume us if we don't manage it or limit its usage. Then it controls us vs us controlling it. Great work!
giulio 2018-03-29 06:43:04
Hello BD, I am predominantly a TH man, as you can imagine I get bored easily and I spend a looot of time hunting (online dating in particular). Do you think I should try to change a little bit myself to focus on more important matters (as business) or just accept myself for what I am? is it possible to change mentality?
FiveSix 2018-03-29 07:02:01
Fuuuuk. I've been guilty of all of these.
Truc 2018-03-29 07:38:17
Man, this is such a great article, I feel like it was written exactly for me and gave me a lot to think about. But don't you think that you are writing it taking only your own point of view into account? Ie : you already said that you don't really like the phase of meeting new women, that it's a necessary evil to arrive to sex etc. But what if someone actually enjoys this part? For me, seeking/fucking new women is my main "relaxing" hobby. I don't really like watching series, playing video games etc. but I really enjoy meeting new women and having sex with them. Do you see an issue with seeing a girl for 2 hours instead of let's say go watch a movie, in order to unwind after work for example? Again, in the context of hobbies, not something that would invade on the time dedicated to work, health etc.
Calvinator 2018-03-29 07:55:23
Just had the #5. Haven't chatted in >1 year (I cut it off--flakiness). Then get a "hey" text a couple weeks ago. Didn't even know who it was as I'd deleted her contact info. BD your description is spot-on. Then, one day, one of your ex’s hits you up out of the blue and asks you how it’s going, which of course is woman language for “I just dumped my boyfriend so I need you to fuck me again please.”
Nick 2018-03-29 08:02:14
...Caleb did you every have a period of time when you were starting out where this dating stuff was all just very frustrating and nothing seemed to work?...because I'm in that position now. I've tried to date for the past year but it seems like women aren't even interested in meeting up anymore, it's like they don't want to put any effort into it whatsoever (I'm talking online game, and yes I've put in the numbers over 1,500 messages sent)... And night game is not an option for me since I despise it, there is just way too much damn competition and it's way too loud to even hold a conversation.
skills 2018-03-29 08:18:07
Bd, Excellent Post... Good timing too! I fall into all the things you mentioned.... You forgot to mentioned that when you go against what you just wrote, you will get totally burned out.... You also forgot to mention that sometimes women will sense that incongruence (doing things for doing it) in the interaction....
CTV 2018-03-29 08:29:01
I'm most def guilty of #2 and #5 #2 This happens when I've been laying off for a minute or just set out to have sex with a certain type of chick/look. For the longest time I wanted to fuck a chick with a neck tattoo. I found a chick who had both and just would not let up on it. Got it and didn't even really want it at the the end of the day. #5 Letting women back in your life you Hard Nexted for good reason and then they piss you off again. GUILTY AF
Joe 2018-03-29 08:50:07
Great read BD. I have been following your systems for a few years and now keep 3-6 girls on rotation at all times. <-- before finding this blog, this was a a pipe dream to me 🙂 I have a (somewhat) counter argument to points 3 & 4 I'd love to hear your opinion on... Do you ever think that some or most men do need sex with new women, even if their existing FBs are cute, drama-free, good in bed, etc ? Do you think that the need to change FBs are a few months is a common trait of Thrill of Hunt guys ? Over the last winter, I was had 3 steady FBs and had sex w/ them 2 or 3 times per week with almost perfect consistency. After 2-3 months of this I became bored with the sex. In early March, I added 2 new girls to the roster. The sex with the new girls hasn't necessarily been better but it's been MUCH more satisfying only because they're NEW. I'm 29 and a former TH guy (I'd say I'm 75% PoS now), this may be why I like newness. Looking forward to more of your thoughts. Again, very well articulated article BD. You seem to have the superpower of writing out my gut feelings into complete paragraphs!
Mountain Westerner 2018-03-29 08:59:14
I’m not sure if I should be afraid, concerned, or chuckle at being a head-liner for the above article. I do think I should qualify (rationalize) this a bit... for one I have (Like BD) been married (over 20 years) and had children and now live an independent and thankfully legally single lifestyle for years as an independent consultant. The Good - so far so: 1. Experienced, 2. Stung by Disney-married life, 3. Learned from painful mistakes, 4. Started 2.0 lifestyle, and 5. Dating and spinning plates (MLTR/FB/ONS) for over seven years. The Bad - Very guilt of the following:
Keep going out and sarging for new women when you don’t need them. Saying yes to women who come back into your sex life when you don’t need them.Yes, all the time, and the second item almost every time, if I have a few free hours or a day off yes. In my defense (rationalize again?) I never let my hunting new, or saying yes change my work schedule. So, yes very guilty. The Ugly - The cad as “evil” at least socially speaking.
"You should only go down in quality when you have a very specific, rational reason to do so (and I can’t even think of any at the moment)"How about provision and comfort? I have been able to leverage this to my advantage, in fact I am typing this in the living room of one of my MLTRs houses as she is at work. I stay at my MLTRs homes every time I’m in the respective cities, and I get lodging and meals provided and I charge my clients when working as I always do a reasonable amount for “hotel and meals” so the benefit is clear, if sounding a bit cad-like (but then if you are not doing things that white-knights, soy-boys, toad-cons and feminists would “shame” you over - you are doing something wrong). If anything I have been able to leverage this more often as I recognized my attention and skills at providing sex lavished on women can be fun for me and great for personal gain - a massive "flipping of the script” socially speaking.
"Just because she’s cute and available and you have the ability to have sex with her doesn’t mean you should. You should have more reasons for sex than that, at least in my view."If she is “cute” I think that would indicate above just “doable” but that is a side note. I actually have a problem with “should have more reasons for sex” - I don’t see the need for any other justification. I like rough physically active dominating sex with comparable women. It is truly a great work-out and fun as hell. I would never downgrade a trip to the gym or the hiking path with “more reasons” I can’t see sex as any less valuable. I have found often having that “chance sex” is simply logistics and saying “hell yes” to the opportunity, some of my MLTRs came from this situation. I think sex every day, often twice a day is necessary for my optimum happiness so I keep a much larger number of MLTRs and in more places than many others. (That would be my rationalization - at top speed, fling barbed darts at your leisure)
CTV 2018-03-29 09:37:24
It's funny, because a very proud TOH (Thrill of The Hunt) guy I really don't get caught up in problem #1. I feel that's like a problem for when guys are trying to show off to their friends too much about getting laid. Kinda like a Beta/Alpha 1.0 Problem. Not that I'm Mr. Infallible or anything lol
Tom 2018-03-29 09:58:33
If you do not have at least TWO (2) cute girls on rotation as fwbs, at least fuck each of the girls per week then you will be sexually frustrated. At least this is the current moment where im able to talk to girls but i don't have much money to isolate them, no own home, logistics sucked.
N8dogg 2018-03-29 13:01:42
Great read thanks BD... I am definitely guilty of all of these at some point, and have dropped the ball on way more important things, like spending more time with my lifetime brothers! Letting the dick control you, is like trying to continually fill a glass that has a huge hole in it. Its like a vortex that will never ever end no matter how much poon you are getting and it starts to create major outcome dependence... not good!
Blackdragon 2018-03-29 18:15:00
So what do you do with ex FBs/ MLTRs in the last situation? Keep them as a sporadic backup? Refuse their offer and move on?Very nicely refuse their offer. "Oh man, I really want to see you but I honestly don't know where I could fit you into my schedule over the next few weeks. Work and everything is so crazy right now! Raincheck?"
What are the chances that she will become a reliable woman in your roster again after a LSNFTE?Good.
Damn, what a well thought out and objective article!Objectivity is my middle name.
Do you think I should try to change a little bit myself to focus on more important matters (as business) or just accept myself for what I am? is it possible to change mentality?That's a very complicated question and I don't have any easy answers for it. Can you radically alter your personally? I don't know. Maybe. Would it be worth the time and effort and pain to do so? I don't know. Probably not, but I suppose it would depend. If I was a Thrill of the Hunt man I would to my absolute best to dampen my hunting urges and to manage them, but I don't know if I could eliminate them. It's the same thing I've done with my high sex drive; I've found a way to manage it constructively instead of trying to "change."
But don’t you think that you are writing it taking only your own point of view into account? Ie : you already said that you don’t really like the phase of meeting new women, that it’s a necessary evil to arrive to sex etc.To some degree, sure.
But what if someone actually enjoys this part?Then you should engage in it when you choose to do so for clear and specific reasons, not because it falls out of the sky and lands in your lap while you're focused on something else. I like to play video games, but I'm not going to stop a project I'm working and play a new game for five hours just because it came out that day. I have better things to do. Later, when I choose to fit it in, I might play it, but that might be 6-12 months down the road.
Do you see an issue with seeing a girl for 2 hours instead of let’s say go watch a movie, in order to unwind after work for example?Of course not. That's what I usually do (as long as sex is involved).
Caleb did you every have a period of time when you were starting out where this dating stuff was all just very frustrating and nothing seemed to work?Of course. We all go through that. Read my History of Dating Women series.
I’ve tried to date for the past year but it seems like women aren’t even interested in meeting up anymore, it’s like they don’t want to put any effort into it whatsoever (I’m talking online game, and yes I’ve put in the numbers over 1,500 messages sent)If you've sent over 1500 openers and haven't had any dates or sex, you're doing something very, very wrong. Or there's more to the story you're not revealing.
You also forgot to mention that sometimes women will sense that incongruence (doing things for doing it) in the interaction….Absolutely, that's very common when men do this.
Great read BD. I have been following your systems for a few years and now keep 3-6 girls on rotation at all times. <– before finding this blog, this was a a pipe dream to meI'm here to bring happiness and love to the world.
Do you ever think that some or most men do need sex with new women, even if their existing FBs are cute, drama-free, good in bed, etc ?
Do you think that the need to change FBs are a few months is a common trait of Thrill of Hunt guys ?Yes, though a hardcore Thrill of the Hunt guy will need to do so after 3-5 lays, not a few months.
How about provision and comfort? I have been able to leverage this to my advantage, in fact I am typing this in the living room of one of my MLTRs houses as she is at work. I stay at my MLTRs homes every time I’m in the respective cities, and I get lodging and meals providedYes, you've found one of the odd scenarios where purposely going down a little in hotness for a particular new woman might be a good idea. Just don't make a habit out of it. She'd better be your only one.
If she is “cute” I think that would indicate above just “doable” but that is a side note.When I say "cute" I'm talking about the four levels of female hotness that I described about here, which are: 1. Hot 2. Cute 3. Average 4. Ugly. You're saying she's average, i.e. doable.
Gang 2018-03-30 03:53:53
Very interesting article. I am pretty sure that I am thinking too much with my dick generally. Here is how it manifests the most disruptively: I am in autopilot mode with perhaps 2 to 5 women in regular weekly rotation, plus another bunch of women in irregular rotation. Generally that's 8 to 12 women all together. Everything is smooth sailing for a couple of weeks. And then at some point one day something happens and an expected sex session is cancelled AND I fail to arrange a back up the same day or next day. Maybe it's a weird holiday week, or they all have their periods at the same time. Or maybe I had 2 meetings planned and they both cancel or flake on the same day. In this moment my dick take full control, and I go in panic mode. This mostly happens if prior to that I planned a little bit more "dick resting" time than usual, like 48h or more instead of 24h. Like when then failure to have sex as planned comes after that, I litterally badtrip over the fear of not enough sex. In these moments I can waste time doing a useless blitz or first dates, or re-introducing some lower quality women that I purposefully removed from my rotation. When I think about it from a distance, if my dick didn't take control I should be able to relax and anyways, after another 1 or 2 days max without sex, the rotation is reliable and I will have sex. But still, in the moment when it happens I panic, I am unable to trust the rotation and I have this irrational feeling "omg! it's over! all women conspired against me and I will never be able to access to sex again in my life" (I am exaggerating here for the purpose of conveying the emotional state of the moment, I don't ever think that litterally). The ugly irony is that sometimes this panic even causes me to unvoluntarily reject women of my rotation who then contact me to meet and fuck. Such as I got busy in a useless blitz or first dates and didn't see her message. Or I slept late that day and then because of that, had a nap at the worst possible time next day when everything usually happens: from mid afternoon to night sleep time, I wake from the nap: 3 women messaged me to meet, so I message them back but now it's way too late for them to come over. Stupid me! Also, anal... I get crazy if I don't fuck enough women in the ass. I think I only start to calm down on that when I do it 2 times per week with at least cute women. Any reduction and my dick takes total control: I blitz, go on dates, heck even fuck average women.
G 2018-03-30 05:47:02
Love your stuff, changed my life, first time commenter long time reader. Bought all books had coaching etc etc etc xxx You write in another article: Thrill of the Hunt Men vs. Pleasure of Sex Men "1. Neither type is any better than the other. They’re just different. As you’re about to see, there are a lot of pros and cons to both types." But in this article on the topic of TH men you write: “then *I guess* go ahead (*and I’m glad I’m not you*). But if you’re *normal*, you have *better* things to do than to constantly seek out new women to have sex with when your active roster is already full. Stop it with that *shit* and get back to the other areas of your life that need addressing, of which I’m sure there are many." I can never be sure of your stance on us TSers but I sometimes suspect you think we're a bit broken. I wonder if you think this is an attitude that can be changed or it's just part of people's natural make-up? If it can be changed, how? If not, maybe you could acknowledge that it's no less "normal" than your PoS path? I only ask because you invented these terms and I wonder if you have some insight into the types that I don't apart from what you've written. Peace.
John 2018-03-30 06:37:43
@ Nick Then there’s some improvement needed with your pictures, your messages, you text game, aggression, or your physical appearance. I experienced the same thing at first. Been dating since June and I was pathetic for 5 months. Took a lot of self improvement, messages, first dates, rejection (rejection shouldn't affect you at all but motivate), and becoming more social to get comfortable. First it was hard to even get a woman to respond. Then for about the first dozen dates I couldn’t get a second date. I’m at the point now where I will fuck a woman no matter how old (30’s and 40’s) she is by at least the second or 3rd date, if I get her on a 1st date. And there’s always a second or third. I am usually already being attacked within 30 minutes of the first date. The kicker is they suspect I’m a player, even say it, but they get so turned on they don’t care, doesn't stop them at all. I’ve had women tell me they’ve gone to the bathroom and sat on the toilet and said “OMG he’s a such player!! but i’m fucking him!! First date. Hang in there. improve every day. I’m 48 and nothing special to look at but I have game. I’m confident, I bring the “chemistry” (chemistry is your responsibility) to the date, in shape, dress classy (dark jeans, trendy and colorful shirts, greats shoes, vnecks, and etc), smell good, clothes that fit, and act charming. think James bond styleattitude with a little cuteness thrown in. Women love cute btw (it’s an attitude). You almost have to have a little cute (30's and 40's) to get laid by the second date. Otherwise you can come off as a complete arrogant dick with the confidence. if a woman says “you’re cute” to me, I’m getting fucked. never fails. So hang in there. Persistence and improvement.
Gang 2018-03-30 06:42:09
@G I can't speak for BD. But for me the way I understand these concepts, it's not a black and white question. If you are *normal* it means you are somewhere between the 2 extremes. Meaning you may be much more Thrill of the Hunt than Pleasure of Sex, but you're still somewhere in the grey area of the spectrum. So neither tendency is too disruptive and you are functional. There is no need as far as I understand to do anything to change yourself, it would probably be counterproductive to your happiness. However if you are a very extreme Pleasure of Sex, you might end up complete MGTOW or get de facto monogamous because you can't get over the hassle of putting the work to hunt for new women and dating. In very extreme cases you might not even bare talking to women either because of fear or because of extreme misogyny where you fell only pure aggravating nonsense comes out of these creatures mouth, who are mere cum holes to you anyway. Thus you'd be somehow broken. Same if you are very extreme Thrill of the Hunt, you can only do one night stands, or perhaps couple of fucks before you get bored. You need constant newness virtually each time you fuck. Or another manifestation is that you're only interested in the seduction process, meaning as soon as the woman is there naked demanding sex you feel you "already won" and your interest is immediately lost at that point, you don't even enjoy the sex so much or in very extreme TH manifestation of this case you might not even really fuck her because your thrill is purely the hunt. Then yes if you're in this very extreme type of cases, indeed you're somehow broken I believe, and you probably have something to work on yourself.
Anon 2018-03-30 10:08:15
#2 This happens when I’ve been laying off for a minute or just set out to have sex with a certain type of chick/look. For the longest time I wanted to fuck a chick with a neck tattoo. I found a chick who had both and just would not let up on it. Got it and didn’t even really want it at the the end of the day.That sounds more like a "get it out of your system" thing than a "thinking with your dick" thing.
Kaelos 2018-03-30 11:02:49
Sometimes I think I confuse hot with a woman just dressing proactively, showing a lot of skin, turning me on with cleavage or legs. Also, makeup can confuse my initial impression of the true beauty of her face. Is there some internal question you ask yourself or some thought you have Blackdragon that helps you determine if a woman is hot or cute in your eyes?
Blackdragon 2018-03-30 11:21:40
I can never be sure of your stance on us TSers but I sometimes suspect you think we’re a bit broken.Your quote of me cut off the most critical part. I didn't say Thrill of the Hunt. I said hardcore Thrill of the Hunt. Being a hardcore TotH isn't normal. Being a TotH or PS is. That being said, sure, I have a bias towards PS since that's what I am, and that's the one most conducive to long-term happiness. But you still need to read my words carefully and respond to what I say rather than what you think I said.
Anon 2018-03-30 13:28:30
And then at some point one day something happens and an expected sex session is cancelled AND I fail to arrange a back up the same day or next day [...] and I go in panic mode.I know this feeling. There's only one sustainable solution. Have a Mission that excites you, then it's no big deal that any particular day ends without expected sex, you feel content anyway through your achievements.
Khali 2018-04-02 11:41:34
This sounds to me more like a backward rationalization on why you shouldn't have loads of sex or bang new girls whenever / wherever you want 2 - 3 girls is theoretically enough to give all the sex anyone might NEED ( since NEED is the corner stone of your argument ) .. but once you get to the advanced stage.. a lot of guys just do it for the FUN or variety. Assuming that no aspect of one's life take a back seat because of the sex needs .. then i don't see any harm in fucking as many girls as desired.
Blackdragon 2018-04-02 11:47:38
This sounds to me more like a backward rationalization on why you shouldn’t have loads of sex or bang new girls whenever / wherever you wantIf you're a skilled seducer and bang new girls literally "whenever you want," your life will soon be out of balance. If you don't mind that problem, or the strong possibility of that problem, then go ahead.
Assuming that no aspect of one’s life take a back seat because of the sex needs .. then i don’t see any harm in fucking as many girls as desired.That's precisely what I said in the article, just using different words. Note what I bolded in your comment. We don't disagree.
Roberto 2018-04-03 10:25:07
I’ve done all the things that BD describes (1 to 5) at different times, but especially no 5 (“saying yes to women who come back into your sex life when you don’t need them”). But I guess I’m becoming increasingly selective – if I removed them from my roster because they were causing difficulties I’m more circumspect than I used to be, though sometimes if the sex was good the temptation can be too hard to turn it down. On the other hand, it can be that she moved on because she got a boyfriend and the circumstances have changed (they’ve broken up, or she simply wants more sex than she’s getting) or she moved away and is just passing through. Often these can be good sources of occasional sex, and I have several FBs (for want of a better term) that I see and fuck occasionally. Do any other guys here find this?
.. but once you get to the advanced stage.. a lot of guys just do it for the FUN or variety@Khali, I’m with you on this one. Completely nsa sex and ONS, and the lead-up to them, are fun, though I don’t use them for my main source of sex, or anything like it. I guess I’m a pleasure-of-sex man with a good dose of the thrill-of-the-hunt characteristics. I don’t think it’s as simple as being one thing or the other, at least not for me.
Nathan 2018-04-03 13:29:05
Awesome post, Caleb! This blog is THE SHIT! -Nathan
Naator 2018-04-19 05:17:09
I guess I'm guilty of number 4 but the reason isn't my dick. It's my inner game issue because I _feel_ like my FB's/MLTRs are unstable and may leave any second even tho I rationally know that isn't the case because they show no actions which indicate that. I've gamed and spinned plates only for 9 months now so I have limited experience on this fact but average plates seem to drop after 2-3 months. In my disney days I never had this kind of mentality but the more I spin plates and the more of them drop (as they do in the end). I keep trusting less and less to the fact that they stick with me "long enough". That's why I'm in constant search of new plates. Every weekend. I have 3 (one of them is quite fresh and strong MLTR candidate) plates currently but from experience I know I start feeling comfortable and "safe" only when I have 4 or 5. If I have and one drops, I still have 4 and I don't have to sarge for another. But if I have 3 and one drop, then I have only 2 and I feel really uncomfortable. So, I'm in situation where my sex drive allows 3 plates but my requirement for feeling abundant is 5. So fucked up 😀 Even tho I've cultivated necessary skills really quickly to get women, I find this non-monogamous thing really tiring. You have keep searching and facing rejection constantly - Or actually rejection isn't the problem - is the frustation when FBs or MLTRs drop. It feels bad when a MLTR drops for whom you have feelings for but instead this happening 2-3 years apart (typical duration of my past monogamous relationships) now I keep getting the same feeling of loss 3 months apart - Yes, I get over of them quite quickly but still it feels like I'm signing a contract to stab myself into heart couple of times a year with this non-monogamous stuff (instead of stabbing myself to heart once every 2-3 years). But again, I'm quite rookie with this so maybe I sort out my inner game issues in close future and maybe over next couple of years my roster of women is big enough that the returning women will fill up the gaps that I don't have to game so much. Another thing is that the more women leave you, the more the feeling "I'm not enough" cumulates even tho you somewhat understand the reason why they left (LSNFTE etc.).
gaby 2020-04-22 13:31:49
Woman here.... This article is quite amazing, really helpful in trying to understand how men think about sex at times. Its like if you are starving and just NEED food. I am human i need food to survive!! In this case i am a man i need sex!!! The convenience is quite funny its like i already ate at my house but im walking in to work and they have free basic donuts... im full, or maybe not, they aren't gourmet or even healthy but why not? Simple yet greedy creatures haha just kidding. Great article, cheers!