Protecting Your Money When You’re Married or Live with A Woman

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Protecting Your Money When You’re Married or Live with A Woman

In preparation for The Ultimate Open Marriage Manual and Video Course coming out on May 28th, here is an overview on how to protect your hard-earned money when you are married to or live with a woman full time. Click here to register for a free online training I’m doing at noon PST on Thursday May 28th where I will cover OLTR Marriage techniques in more detail. 

-By Caleb Jones

The non-monogamous aspect of the OLTR Marriage is only half of it. Yes, it’s extremely important that you retain the basic human right to have mutually consensual sex with any woman you want, whenever you want, without having to "check in" with anyone, even if you move in with your girlfriend or marry your wife. Long-term sexual monogamy doesn’t work and you were never designed for such a ridiculous concept (and neither was she). You’re just asking for huge problems down the road if you ever attempt to practice or expect such a thing as hundreds of millions of victims of divorce, breakups, and/or cheating can attest. 

At the same time, you need to protect your money. Just because a marriage (and if you live full-time with your unmarried girlfriend I still call that a “marriage” since you’re living the lifestyle of a married man) is sexually open doesn’t mean you can’t still encounter the following financial problems: 

    • You get a divorce from your wife, losing half or more of your assets, plus possible alimony payments.
    • Your girlfriend leaves you, moves out, and sues you for palimony. 
    • You or your girlfriend moves out and now you are suddenly forced to sell your house to pay her half because you co-own it. 
    • You or your girlfriend moves out and now one of you are suddenly forced to get a loan from the bank to buy out the other person’s half of the house because you co-own it. 
    • Your girlfriend moves out and now you can’t pay your apartment rent because you relied on her income to pay it. Now you need to move out and break the lease and ruin your credit score. 
    • Your wife defaults on one of her debts and the creditors start coming after you because you’re married to her. 
    • Your wife somehow screws up her taxes and the government comes after you because you’re married to her. 
    • Your girlfriend or wife overdrafts one of your shared checking accounts because she was irresponsible and now you have to pay the bank to bring the account back to zero because she “doesn’t get paid until next month.” 
    • One of your girlfriend/wife’s kids (your step kid) gets into trouble that costs hundreds or even thousands of dollars and now you have to pony up the cash to fix it. 
    • Americans only: Your girlfriend/wife, who eats pretty much whatever she wants, drinks whatever she wants, never exercises, and possibly even smokes or does drugs gets hit with a major but preventable health problem that her health insurance doesn’t cover and now you need to foot the bill even though you’ve taken the effort to be as healthy as possible to prevent these very expenses. 
    • Your girlfriend/wife gets into some kind of car accident or similar problem that insurance either doesn’t cover or only covers a small percentage of, and now you need to foot the rest of the bill to fix the car. 
    • Your girlfriend/wife or recent ex-girlfriend/wife steals money from you by taking it right out of a joint account or one of your accounts she has access to. 
    • Your girlfriend/wife doesn’t exactly steal the money from you but she pulls it out of your account (or a joint account) without your permission because “it was an emergency” and she “didn’t have time to call you.” 
    • And on, and on, and on. 

If you think these are rare and unusual problems, you are dead wrong. These are normal, regular, common issues that arise with the vast, vast majority of marriages and/or co-habiting couples all over the Western world. They are so common that most married men just expect them and put up with them because Societal Programming tells them “that’s part of being married” or “that’s what being married is all about.” 

If you are a high-end multi-millionaire with a high six or seven figure income and have no problem constantly whipping out cash to deal with minor and major financial problems caused by your wife or live-in girlfriend, then no worries, feel free to do whatever you want. I know a few high-end rich married guys like this, and they don’t seem to mind because of their unlimited funds. 

But if you’re a normal guy living in the real world and you’re seeking the Alpha Male 2.0 goal of long-term consistent happiness, then you simply cannot expose yourself to high probability of financial chaos if/when you move in with a woman. Beta males and Alpha Male 1.0s who surrender to monogamy are more than welcome to get their wallets raped in divorces, breakups, and girlfriend/wife financial screw-ups, but you need to follow a different path. 

Under an OLTR Marriage, your money is 100% separated from your girlfriend/wife by a Financial Barrier made up of logistical, banking, legal, business, and sometimes international aspects. This Barrier protects you from all of the possible financial problems I listed above, plus many I didn’t list. 

The Financial Barrier is made up of these components: 

  1. 100% separate finances.

This means you have no joint accounts, debts, assets, or leases with your girlfriend/wife. From car payments, to checking accounts, to the lease or mortgage, all the way down to the cable bill, everything in your financial life and hers is either in your name or her name, literally nothing is in both of your names.  

She has literally no access to any of your assets or accounts and you have none to hers. You don’t co-sign any debts. Everything is 100% separate and remains so for the entirety of the marriage.  

If you want to support your wife (because she’s a stay-at-home mom raising the kids or whatever), you can do that, but that still means you don’t co-own any accounts or assets with her. 

  1. An ENFORCEABLE prenuptial agreement or the equivalent.  

It is probably not called a “prenuptial agreement” where you live and the specific names of these contracts vary based on the state, province, or country, but whatever it’s called, it’s a contract that ensures you don’t have to pay her alimony or “half” of what you own in case of any breakup or divorce. You have this well in place long before she moves in and/or any wedding takes place. 

The problem is that these contracts are not enforceable in most parts of the Western world. You can get them, and attorneys will happily take your money by selling them to you, but if you actually get divorced the judge will just throw them out. If you live in places like California, Australia, or the U.K. and you want something enforceable, you’re out of luck. You need to either move or never live with a woman.  

This means that if you want to protect your finances, you need to live in a place where you can get an enforceable prenuptial agreement, then actually get one, and do it correctly. 

  1. Being really, really nice.

You need to set up daily, weekly, and/or monthly systems with your live-in girlfriend/wife to manage your separate finances in a way that doesn’t make her feel weird or unloved.  

When it comes to finances in a marriage, women tend to be communists. As soon as she moves in she will instantly assume that the entire home, everything in it, and all the money she owns and you own will be all “ours,” 50/50 you/her. Of course, that doesn’t make any logical sense, but it doesn’t matter. Her mother, grandmother, girlfriends, Hollywood, Disney, her bullshit religion, and all other sources of false Societal Programming have told her throughout her entire life that 50/50 is how marriage works, so that’s what she assumes. 

So obviously, when you start outlining the above systems she’s not going to like it. This means you need to be caring, loving, and understanding… while enforcing a 100% separation of finances. You need to regularly engage with her so that this “weird” way of being married doesn’t make her feel any less of a girlfriend or wife or priority in your life. An OLTR Marriage is asking a lot of a woman, so you need to be really cool about this. 

  1. Asset protection.

Separate finances and an enforceable prenuptial agreement likely aren’t enough to protect you completely, and the more money you make or have the more this is true. 

This means you need asset protection. Through the legal use of corporations, LLCs, trusts, and offshoring your investments, you can ensure your money is protected. Asset protection doesn’t mean hiding your assets; you disclose everything you need to disclose to your girlfriend/wife and/or your government to make sure everything is legal and enforceable. You just need to make sure those assets will be impossible for your wife/girlfriend/government to access in the case of a divorce or break-up. 

The Ultimate Open Marriage Manual and Video Course is available on May 28th for just four days. Click here to register for a free online training I’m doing at noon PST on Thursday May 28th when we launch the book and the video course where I will cover OLTR Marriage techniques in great detail. 

This article was originally published on May 21, 2020

Comments


  • Redbaron 2020-05-21 13:52:46

    Western governments have tried their hardest to make getting married in an emotional peaceful way for a man a total PITA process. That’s even if you do it Alpha 2.0 style. Caleb approximately how long do you see the OLTR marriage model working in the Western world before it needs adjustment due to government interference? I know you can’t accurately predict the future or give an exact guess at this (neither can I), but am interested hearing your thoughts. My guess is that it’ll work for maybe another 10-20 years before Western govts holistically try to pass some insane regulations to nix it.

    If you live in places like California, Australia, or the U.K. and you want something enforceable, you’re out of luck
    Given Australia is poised to economically stagnate over the next century as a result of being SE Asia’s satellite, can we expect it to socially decline (possibly even socially collapse?) over that time span due to the left-wing govts over there passing insane laws like this?

  • CSR 2020-05-21 14:15:38

    When it comes to finances in a marriage, women tend to be communists. As soon as she moves in she will instantly assume that the entire home, everything in it, and all the money she owns and you own will be all “ours,” 50/50 you/her. Of course, that doesn’t make any logical sense, but it doesn’t matter. Her mother, grandmother, girlfriends, Hollywood, Disney, her bullshit religion, and all other sources of false Societal Programming have told her throughout her entire life that 50/50 is how marriage works, so that’s what she assumes.
    This has nothing to do with SP and it's that they "believe" marriages works this way. They try to emotionally blackmail guys by making them believe that if they don't share everything it's not "true love". The trick usually works out because men have so much scarcity mentality with women that they put up with everything because of the fear of losing her. Women would do it even if there was no religion, no SP, no Disney or anything else. It's in their nature to at least try to suck up as many resources from the guy as possible. That's why it's so important to "educate her" from the beginning. Don't ever invite her to dinners, vacations or anything else except for very few occasions, only when the relationship is at least stablished and then see if she invites back from time to time, etc. Make her complain that you "never buy her anything" before letting her assume you're just another walking ATM.

  • Richard 2020-05-21 14:47:18

    Excellent article. Just one correction required. When it comes to finances within a marriage, women are not communists. They are monarchists. What's hers' is hers', what yours' is "OURS".

  • A 2020-05-21 15:49:50

    While I am certain Blackdragon knows more about this than anyone else and his advice is sound..... This is the sort of article that, ironically, triggers my 'women are not really worth it after the man is 45 unless she is a 9 or higher' alarm.  Plus, the chance that these protective measures do not hold is well above 2%. The more money a man has, the greater the chance that these protections will be breached (since more and better lawywers are willing to take a crack). Individual assessment of cost/benefit will vary, of course.  But I am certain I am not the only man who has experienced the fear of 'what happens 10 steps ahead' superceding their libido. Fear of losing half or most of my money exceeds any orgasmic pleasure I can receive from the women I am likely to get (which are no longer 9s at this point). This article, thus, is still useful, even if it has this opposite effect on the decision-tree of men reading it.  

  • Blackdragon 2020-05-21 16:37:27

    Caleb approximately how long do you see the OLTR marriage model working in the Western world before it needs adjustment due to government interference?
    It will still work more or less indefinitely; it will simply require minor tweaks and changes to keep up with changes in the law.
    My guess is that it’ll work for maybe another 10-20 years before Western govts holistically try to pass some insane regulations to nix it.
    It won't work, as I've discussed before. Women like living with men. If government makes it impossible for any man with a brain to retain his own money and/or sexual freedom there will be a massive shortage in the number of men who will move in with a woman in the dating market. Women won't like that at all. They will scream, and the government will listen, as it always does to women when it comes to civil law. If it ever gets that far before the West collapses, that is.
    Given Australia is poised to economically stagnate over the next century as a result of being SE Asia’s satellite, can we expect it to socially decline (possibly even socially collapse?) over that time span due to the left-wing govts over there passing insane laws like this?
    A very slow social decline, yes. Australia is awesome but it's insane SJW as fuck. It's the only thing I don't like about it.
    When it comes to finances within a marriage, women are not communists. They are monarchists. What’s hers’ is hers’, what yours’ is “OURS”.
    Haha! You're not wrong.
    This is the sort of article that, ironically, triggers my ‘women are not really worth it after the man is 45 unless she is a 9 or higher’ alarm.
    Irrational. That woman will age and won't be a 9 for very long. Never marry a woman just because she's hot, unless you don't mind getting divorced over and over again throughout your life. Pink Firefly is hot as hell, but I fully plan on her getting older as time goes on if our marriage lasts long enough, and this is 100% fine with me because I can have sex with other women whenever I want.
    Plus, the chance that these protective measures do not hold is well above 2%. The more money a man has, the greater the chance that these protections will be breached (since more and better lawywers are willing to take a crack).
    Correct. The more money you have the more legal precautions that must be taken. But you have more money to pay for those so they won't be any big deal.
    Individual assessment of cost/benefit will vary, of course. But I am certain I am not the only man who has experienced the fear of ‘what happens 10 steps ahead’ superceding their libido.
    Most men reading these words should not get married nor move in with a woman. I've said that many, many times.
    Fear of losing half or most of my money exceeds any orgasmic pleasure I can receive from the women I am likely to get (which are no longer 9s at this point).
    You won't lose half of all your money if you take all the OLTR Marriage precautions I laid out. I have literally never seen that happen.
    This article, thus, is still useful, even if it has this opposite effect on the decision-tree of men reading it.
    Most men reading these words should not marry or move in with a woman. Correct. This topic material is for those men who are ready and emotionally/financially able to do this right now, which is not everyone.

  • Raza 2020-05-21 17:19:06

    So if someone in California is planning on having kids with a woman and living all together under one roof => get out of California?

  • Blackdragon 2020-05-21 18:31:54

    So if someone in California is planning on having kids with a woman and living all together under one roof => get out of California?
    Correct. The state of California is the worst place on the entire planet to live with a girlfriend or wife. Men who live in California and live with a girlfriends or get legally married there are either ignorant or suicidal.

  • C Lo 2020-05-21 18:53:44

    I caught no small amount of shit from Caleb when I suggested:

    The problem is that these contracts are not enforceable
    Close! So, your options are reduced to:
    You need to either move or never live with a woman.
    Except for one thing - moving to a favorable jurisdiction won’t work, because all it takes is HER to move to a favorable jurisdiction, establish residency, and start proceedings there.  All that preparation is for naught. I’ve wasted thousands of keystrokes on this topic.  The solution is simple.  Get your neediness under check and just don’t marry or cohabitate or blend assets.   You can totally avoid the exhaustive but by no means complete list of bad things that WILL HAPPEN if you get your neediness/OBW in check (IMO that’s what a man wanting to pair bond is) and... ...find your balls, say no, and avoid the problem altogether without any fuss. Whats the downside?  That she might leave you or something?  Serious question!  

  • C Lo 2020-05-21 19:01:49

    Also, Caleb is wrong on this one issue:

    The state of California is the worst place on the entire planet to live with a girlfriend
    California does not recognize palimony or common law marriage.  If you don’t marry her you aren’t obligated to her at all. As long as you don’t marry her or commingle assets OR move somewhere that recognizes common law marriage you are fine.  She doesn’t get shit. If you just want to move in, California is fantastic because the law treats it like you are roommates. If have kids with her, that changes things, but that’s a separate issue and child support is off topic.

  • Incognito 2020-05-21 22:24:10

    I've been involved with at least two women who, even though we never seriously discussed getting married, made it absolutely clear that they would NEVER consider getting married without a STRONG prenuptial agreement. Oddly enough, both had a LOT of family money. Funny how quick women are prepared to drop Disney notions of the virtues of shared property -- if doing so works to their advantage.

  • C Lo 2020-05-22 05:40:54

    I’ve been involved with at least two women who, even though we never seriously discussed getting married, made it absolutely clear that they would NEVER consider getting married without a STRONG prenuptial agreement.
    Funny thing is that they didn’t need them, either.  Even in California, you get to keep everything that you had coming into the marriage. But post nuptials, they are entitled to half of anything that either of you acquire.  That’s the threshold of community property. Including the income!  For example, if you had an apartment building before you married, you would keep it upon divorce assuming you hadn’t made any meaningful Improvements other than maintenance and repair. If you add one single rent paying unit after you marry, she (or you, if it’s her money) is entitled to half of that incremental unit.  If you sell the old complex and buy a different one she has a claim on half the new complex. There is a simple and elegant, abiet unpopular, solution.  Just don’t marry them!

  • Donald 2020-05-22 08:18:31

    The only way to really be save is to let go of the idea that you need to own your money. That's how the smart rich people are doing it, they only control the money, but don't own it - they have holdings and trusts/foundations that own it. They keep all the money in this ecosystem and grow it there (with very little to no taxpayments). Your private car turns into a tax detuctable business car, the house is owned by the trust fund, you just rent it. You only pay yourself exactly your monthly expenses. In this way you can get legally married without a prenup as much as you want, you can have all the joint bank accounts you want - heck even if she gets into debt you can just divorce and file for personal bankruptcy ( you don't own your wealth they cannot take it away). She divorces? Doesn't matter - you don't own anything, there is neither you or her name anywhere. She is crazy and steals your car? The car is owned  by your business, you call the cops and they jail her, there is no 'she is the exwife family court bonus' anymore. If you own your business and you decrease your salary to pay less alimony, goverment will ignor it and still enforce the same amount. You do the same with a trustfund owned business, they have to accept it and go along with it. - basically your 1950s mgtow wet dream came true again... Trusts aready exist since the middle ages, the ultra rich will do everything to protect these laws. The only downside is that you don't own your money anymore and in many cases you will never get it ck into privat accounty anymore. And you need to make at least 6-figures to justifiy the costs   (disclaimer: some things may not apply in your country)  

  • C Lo 2020-05-22 08:51:21

    Don’t try anything that Donald suggests in the United States, The IRS will take a dim view of those kinds of things.  Not to mention family court.

  • Blackdragon 2020-05-22 09:36:34

    I’ve wasted thousands of keystrokes on this topic.
    Then I suggest you stop C Lo, for reasons I've explained to you several times before (but won't again).
    I’ve been involved with at least two women who, even though we never seriously discussed getting married, made it absolutely clear that they would NEVER consider getting married without a STRONG prenuptial agreement. Oddly enough, both had a LOT of family money. Funny how quick women are prepared to drop Disney notions of the virtues of shared property — if doing so works to their advantage.
    Correct and I've experienced the exact same thing; women with high incomes or decently high net worths (for single women) who forcibly demand prenups and even bring it up while dating before you get serious. While many typical women with no money get offended if the man even brings up the word "prenup." Hmmmmmm..... I once read that high net worth women get prenups far, far more often when they get married than high net worth men do. That, or they just never get married. (Notice Oprah Winfrey and Martha Stewart aren't married, still to this day.) It's because men are stupid and irrational about these topics and women know exactly what's up, as I've explained before.
    The only way to really be save is to let go of the idea that you need to own your money. That’s how the smart rich people are doing it, they only control the money, but don’t own it – they have holdings and trusts/foundations that own it.
    Correct, but this only applies to high net worth men. Normal guys don't need to worry too much about this mindset (unless they start becoming wealthy).
    In this way you can get legally married without a prenup as much as you want, you can have all the joint bank accounts you want – heck even if she gets into debt you can just divorce and file for personal bankruptcy ( you don’t own your wealth they cannot take it away). She divorces? Doesn’t matter – you don’t own anything, there is neither you or her name anywhere.
    Completely incorrect. Divorce law in most parts of the Western world does not work that.

  • Sonny 2020-05-22 10:34:58

    Caleb, In most states in the US can a woman who is NOT married to you but is just living with you claim your money and assets. Her name is not on your lease or any of your assets.

  • Blackdragon 2020-05-22 11:20:58

    In most states in the US can a woman who is NOT married to you but is just living with you claim your money and assets. Her name is not on your lease or any of your assets.
    Correct. That's why you'll need an enforceable co-habiation agreement signed and notarized before she moves in instead of a prenup.

  • The Capitalist 2020-05-22 17:02:52

    Thanks to Caleb I've learned to put some systems and standards in place that work for me. I won't be getting married however I do enjoy staying with some women for a bit from time to time when I'm in the mood for it. Here are my self imposed rules: I will always have my own place.  A place with my stuff.  A place that's always there waiting for me.  A place to myself.  Even if this place is a boat I will ALWAYS live by this rule. I don't officially announce this but another rule is no woman can stay over 2 nights in a row.  So only 1 night at a time.  It's easy to use real life situations to make this happen without stating the rule. When I live with women, I stay with them.  So far it's seemed like the most natural way to do it.  If they have a decent place the women I've dated like to be among their own stuff and place. She usually wants me to stay so some times I do which leads to my next rule for myself.. I will bring some things over sometimes such as some clothes and electric razor etc. I have 2 of many things. I even have 2 espresso machines... haha so I sometimes take one over. But my rule is: I don't leave anything at their houses that I couldn't just walk away from and replace without giving a shit. To me all this is about them never having the slightest control over me.  If at any moment I want to part ways with a girl I can do so at the drop of a hat. I seriously love that.  Wouldn't give that up for anything.      

  • Ghost 2020-05-23 00:34:30

    ok, so your money is 100% separated from your girlfriend/wife .How do you deal with: Your gf/wife asks for money because “it is an emergency”?

    One of your girlfriend/wife’s kids (your step kid) gets into trouble that costs hundreds...
    How do you deal with that?Because if she asks for help and it costs 700$,its a huge sum of money and you have to loan it to her.If it was 200$,you could apply that rule,give her money ,instead of loan it to her to not get dissapointed ,when she doesnt pay back because of X reasons. Your "SYSTEM",helps you from government and banks interference,but how do you deal with the other situations when your serious oltr/wife asks for an important sum of money because she is in trouble and needs help quickly?

  • Duke 2020-05-23 04:39:56

    The capitalist gets it. Move in with her for a couple days a week at most, while retaining your own place. Buy food and the like, but not anything else like furniture or electronics unless you don't care if she keeps them. Not many women would be happy with that arrangement for very long, but will work for men who want to extend the relationship for just a bit longer/as long they can with as little investment as possible. Also, BD seems to be targeting a higher income audience; at the very least middle class individuals. Your average guy is broke as hell with debt/negative net worth. Even then, unless you specifically used your wealth to attract the girl, she wouldn't know any better. One could easily have a salary well into the six figures and high net worth, but live like a person that makes around 30k. At that point it would either sound extremely ridiculous or rather suspicious to have the woman sign a 'co-habitation agreement,' before she moves in.

  • Blackdragon 2020-05-23 10:21:25

    For those of you saying, "NEVER move in with / marry a woman," please read this:
    Why Move In With A Woman At All? Moving on...
    ok, so your money is 100% separated from your girlfriend/wife .How do you deal with: Your gf/wife asks for money because “it is an emergency”?
    Notice the quotes you put around the word "emergency." That answers your own question. Women say things are "emergencies" all the time when if they aren't emergencies.  "Hey Honey, I'm at the veterinarian and they just told me my the dog's shots will be $400!!! I didn't know that! I don't have that!!! Can I use your credit card? I hate asking for money like this but it's an EMERGENCY!!!" I don't care how angry or distraught she sounds. That's not a fucking emergency. So for those scenarios (which will be the vast majority of the time), you nicely say no. In the above scenario you'd nicely tell her to just skip the shots and come home with the dog and she'll have to put a $400 dog expense in her budget for next month or the month after. And yes, she'll be very upset when you say that. Doesn't matter. Be an Alpha and have some balls. If it's a legitimate emergency, which are extremely rare (she needs $800 to pay the mechanic to fix her car that literally doesn't drive and if she can't drive she can't go to work because there are no mass transit routes there), then you need to make a judgement call. Help her or not, based on the scenario. If you help her, fine, but it better not be a regular occurrence.
    Because if she asks for help and it costs 700$,its a huge sum of money and you have to loan it to her.
    NEVER LOAN A WOMAN YOU'RE DATING OR LIVING WITH ANY MONEY FOR ANY REASON EVER. Read this: When She Asks To Borrow Money Give her the money (not a loan, a gift) or don't give her any. Never loan. Ever.
    If it was 200$,you could apply that rule,give her money ,instead of loan it to her to not get dissapointed
    Your frame is all wrong. The goal is not to never disappoint your OLTR. That's the goal of the beta. As an Alpha Male you're doing to disappoint her semi-regularly. The goal is to keep your frame.
    Your “SYSTEM”,helps you from government and banks interference
    No, it also protects you from your OLTR fucking up your finances, which is common in co-habiting couples.
    but how do you deal with the other situations when your serious oltr/wife asks for an important sum of money because she is in trouble and needs help quickly?
    She's not in trouble. You're equating her being upset or freaked out to her being in real trouble. One rarely equates to the other.
    Also, BD seems to be targeting a higher income audience; at the very least middle class individuals.
    On this specific topic, correct, because poor guys or younger guys SHOULD NOT MOVE IN WITH A WOMAN as I've said a thousand thousand times. Moving in with a woman (married or not doesn't matter) is only for woman-experienced men who make decent money and are at least 35 years old. Correct! Look at Ghost's comment right above yours and you'll see exactly what happens to men emotionally when they are young but move in with a woman anyway. Not good.
    At that point it would either sound extremely ridiculous or rather suspicious to have the woman sign a ‘co-habitation agreement,’ before she moves in.
    Incorrect. If a woman really likes you and you've done all the Cardinal Rules correctly since the first date, she'll sign just about anything to move in with you. As I've said before, from 2008 - 2012 during my hardcore Blackdragon dating years I averaged two marriage proposals per year from various women (ages 18 to 27), and all of these women clearly knew I'd make them sign co-habs / prenups and would still have sex with other women and this was when I lived in a shitty house with no furniture and drove an 8-year-old car. They didn't care about these details. They just wanted to live with me. Some two of them actually begged. These systems work. The reason other men don't experience these things is because they don't follow the Cardinal Rules and instead act like typical boyfriends or betas during the relationship phase which is the exact wrong thing to do.

  • Leon 2020-05-23 23:07:13

    As I’ve said before, from 2008 – 2012 during my hardcore Blackdragon dating years I averaged two marriage proposals per year from various women (ages 18 to 27), and all of these women clearly knew I’d make them sign co-habs / prenups and would still have sex with other women and this was when I lived in a shitty house with no furniture and drove an 8-year-old car. They didn’t care about these details. They just wanted to live with me. Some two of them actually begged. These systems work. The reason other men don’t experience these things is because they don’t follow the Cardinal Rules and instead act like typical boyfriends or betas during the relationship phase which is the exact wrong thing to do.
    Gold!

  • Sonny 2020-05-24 01:17:05

    This is an important topic Caleb as it seems there's a confusion. I read that in states which don't have common law marriage , there is no division of assets. ... You are just roommates. Child support is a different matter altogether

  • Stephen 2020-05-24 14:05:19

    I agree with Sonny's last comment.  In the US, if you are not married and have separated your finances, legally you are just roommates.  There would be no need for cohabitation agreements. I do not believe any state in the US has common law marriage, palimony, etc...  but everyone should familiarize themselves with their local laws, which can change.  If you are not married, this is really not that complicated and risky legally.  Millions of dudes are living with girlfriends.  We don't hear of the family courts putting them through torture.

  • The Capitalist 2020-05-24 16:21:33

    Thanks Duke. Once I did it with a super sexy woman for over 2 years.  Staying there enough nights a week to get the "family feel" that I sometimes get in the mood for. But the best part was that the foundation of the relationship was sex.  And lots of it. But I want to point out that my post was not to say my way is better than Caleb's. Caleb is the one who got me to see the light.  That we truly can live whatever lifestyle we want if we do it in a purposeful systematic way. Joined SMIC a few years ago and listened to many of his podcasts multiple times. Thanks again Caleb! The more I tune in to what you're doing and saying, the better my brain seems to work. Haha Open Marriage is for the more advanced guy I think. My way is like bowling in a lane that has gutter rails..   haha. Plus part of me is still a little aggravated that women have been getting away with all they have been for the last few decades in terms of getting men to dedicate their lives to them only to screw them over and zero them out without an ounce of appreciation for all the guy did for her... So I will admit, my way gives me a certain level of personal satisfaction in regards to them trying to lure me in while I let them try, but in reality they don't stand a chance. I love women and love being with them and my way of living with women is fun for all involved.  It's just she's never able to close the deal. I do realize with your system the guy gets the things he wants out of a marriage but without the risks. If I were to get married again I'd use your plan (minus any marriage license or government agreements or paperwork). But I'm honestly not at your level with all this. I'm just happy I'm able to do what I do and it seems safe enough for crazy SOB like myself to stay out of trouble.

  • The Capitalist 2020-05-24 19:58:16

    I should have worded my last post differently. I am up front with the women I date.  I do not lie to women.  Never have, never will. If they push for "where is this going" I just say something like - It's going great.  I just want to be happy and enjoy life and it seems like we are. When I said I get satisfaction out of it, I just meant that it's nice to enjoy the present moment with someone without having to do much.  Seems like women have had it like that for a long time.  So I'm enjoying that aspect of it.

  • Blackdragon 2020-05-24 22:26:22

    I read that in states which don’t have common law marriage , there is no division of assets. … You are just roommates.
    In some states, yes. In other states, no. In other states there is no common law marriage but their is palimony or at least the risk of it (and again, it's often not called "palimony").
    In the US, if you are not married and have separated your finances, legally you are just roommates. There would be no need for cohabitation agreements.
    If a family or divorce attorney in your city, of whom you are a paying client, looks you in the eye says it is literally impossible for a woman to take any money from you after living with you for 10 years unmarried (other than child support), then correct, you don't need a co-hab. Odds of you living in a place like that? Low. And you need to actually check with an attorney. Do NOT just read something on the internet and assume you're safe. That's beyond stupid.
    I do not believe any state in the US has common law marriage, palimony, etc
    My god, utterly and factually incorrect. But if I start listing states I get into a legal grey area where it can be assumed I'm giving legal advice so I can't do that. But you're wrong. (And again, in most of these places it's not called "palimony" or "common law" but instead other less scary terms are used, like "marriage-like relationship" in my state.)
    Millions of dudes are living with girlfriends. We don’t hear of the family courts putting them through torture.
    Oh boy, incorrect. 1. Millions of dudes who live with girlfriends have no money, making most of this irrelevant. The Alpha Male 2.0 does or will. (This article is for Alpha Male 2.0s or those who want to become one, not losers who will never have any money.) 2. Refer back to the above article at all the problems I listed men who live with girlfriends have and notice that very few of them are caused by family courts. You need to financially protect yourself from her more than you do the courts (but the courts too). 3. The odds of these kinds of problems when you are living with your unmarried girlfriend are far beyond 2%, thus precautions need to be taken whether we like it or not. But as I always say, it's your life. If you have real financial assets and/or an income of more than about $50K/year and you seriously want to move in with a woman and not sign anything because you don't see the word "palimony" or "common law" on your state website, then great, go right ahead. I like my money so would never be that reckless, but to each his own.

  • Stephen 2020-05-24 23:17:00

    My god, utterly and factually incorrect.
    Perhaps so.  Can you give us one example of an unmarried man who kept his finances separate in oregon, who had to pay support to an unmarried GF?

  • Blackdragon 2020-05-25 10:50:17

    Can you give us one example of an unmarried man who kept his finances separate in oregon, who had to pay support to an unmarried GF?
    Yes, I can give you at least three, possibly more if I went through my files. They didn't have to pay "support," nothing ongoing (as far as I know) but they had to pay something to their ex-GFs when they moved out due to pressure either from the court or from their own attorneys to prevent legal issues. And yes, they kept their finances separate (as far as I know). All of these were long-term live-in relationships (many years) where a marriage never took place. I agree that poor guys with zero money can probably do whatever they want, but for men with solid middle-class incomes / net worths or higher, this shit is real.

  • CTV 2020-05-26 08:54:10

    Not to pile on Caleb, but yes I have heard that California does Palimony a little differently. We're gonna have to check that shit out. And that collapse that you were talking about for California.. I think it is finally here! We are now in a 54 BILLION DOLLAR DEFICIT!! Funny but money is actually where some of the Feminists and Dominant type women actually have pride and want their own only.

  • Sonny 2020-05-26 09:18:39

    Caleb, Do you believe that governments are deliberately opaque and unclear about palimony / alimony paid to live in partners after a break up. In that this just another ( underhanded ) way for governments to be biased towards women. Lemme tell you it is absurd that nowhere in California law is it mentioned clearly whether palimony / live in girlfriend alimony / common law alimony (There isn't even an official name for this for god's sake) is applicable or not.  

  • Blackdragon 2020-05-26 10:10:38

    Not to pile on Caleb, but yes I have heard that California does Palimony a little differently. We’re gonna have to check that shit out.
    I will amend what I said above: California is the worst palace in the world to legally marry a woman. If you just move in with her it's not as bad (but still bad) and you still need to take all the precautions I'm talking about (enforceable co-habitation agreement, etc).
    And that collapse that you were talking about for California.. I think it is finally here! We are now in a 54 BILLION DOLLAR DEFICIT!!
    I've said it before and I'll say it again: the State of California is the single worst place IN THE ENTIRE WORLD for the Alpha Male 2.0 to live once you add up all the financial, business, and woman negatives. Anyone pursuing the A2 lifestyle living there should make plans to move away from there in the next 1-3 years. I love California. I'm there several times a year. It's an amazing place to visit. But I don't live there. You couldn't pay me a million dollars to live there.
    Do you believe that governments are deliberately opaque and unclear about palimony / alimony paid to live in partners after a break up.
    Only indirectly. Government in the USA is run by attorneys and attorneys make things more complicated than needed because that's what they are trained to do.

  • El Barto 2020-05-27 14:47:15

    Keeping my current girl from spending my money can be a chore sometimes. And we don't even live together. So in that regard this article is helpful to me. With regards to how women think: from this year on the maximum period you have to pay alimony is 5 years in my country ( the Netherlands). Surprise, surprise, last winter there was a boom in divorces, instigated by women.