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Text Game Part 4
It's time one again for our regular foray in to text game that gets you laid, or if you're in a relationship, keeps getting you laid. You might want to read parts one, two, and three of this series if you haven't already, in order to put the advice in this post into context.
-By Caleb Jones
Situation: Dealing With Delicate Questions Pre-Lay
You're lining up a first date, or day2, or other meetup with a woman you're working on. You haven't had sex yet, but you're feelin' good about it. Then, during a text conversation, she lays this on you:
"When is the last time you had sex?"
"Are you actually dating other women right now?"
"Do you want kids?" (Or "more kids?")
"Have you ever cheated on anyone?"
You get the idea. It's one of those questions where you see the text and say "Aw dammit! NOW what do I do?". These questions are never fun when you're in the seduction phase of the operation.
You have four options in this situation.
1. Lie and tell her what she wants to hear. Yes, that's certainly an option. Not an option for me, however, since I don't endorse lying to women about anything. Lying to women in order to get laid (or keep getting laid) is something AFCs do.
2. Tell her the truth knowing the answer will be one she wants to hear. Obviously this is the best option IF you know the truth is something she wants to hear. Of course, all too often, it isn't.
3. Tell her the truth knowing it will cause you to lose points. This is never ideal unless you literally have no other option.
4. Dodge the question with sarcasm, then quickly change the subject. This is, in my opinion and my experience, is the best move if option 2 is unavailable to you. Answer the question in an obviously silly way and when you get her response, change the subject, and keep right on texting about something else. This way, you're not lying AND you're not throwing the painful truth in her face.
Her: So...are you dating other women right now?
You: Hell yeah. I have 15 girlfriends. Two for each day of the week plus a spare.
Her: Haha. Mm that's interesting.
You: It is! Did your boss ever get back to you about that promotion?
It's best to redirect to a subject she likes talking about. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but women like to talk a lot. About themselves mostly. Use that to your advantage.
I have field-tested this in real life countless times. It works.
Nagging is a huge topic. One could write an entire book about it. I'm talking here just about nagging in the context of texting. I define nagging as bitching about something trivial, especially if it's done often. The best way to deal with text nagging is to give ONE measured response, then terminate the conversation and completely ignore all other future texts about it until you see her in person.
Her: Um hello! You said you'd be home at 6pm and it's already 6:12! WTF? You always do this! You're always late
You: My boss kept me after for about 10 minutes. Be home in about 10 min.
Her: Being late like this is so rude! I can't belive
By the way pal, if you have a woman in your life who does this to you on at least a semi-regular basis, you need to take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself a some very tough questions about your life and who you are.
Sometimes a woman will start negotiating with you over texts. The topic could be anything from what to do on a date to actual sex. "Well I don't want to have sex, but we could get in your bed and cuddle!" You get the point.
Never, ever negotiate with a woman about anything over texts. Refuse to do it when they try. Either just drop the subject, change the subject, or if it really is an important issue, call her and discuss it verbally.
I see a lot of guys fall into women's negotiating frame over texting and it rarely ends well. For either party.
Situation: Excessive Texting
Occasionally you'll run into a woman who texts you every day, sometimes many times every day. First, realize this behavoir is a red flag for other more nasty behaviors to come. At least that's been my experience. Usually when I have a woman text me all the fucking time, as in every day, I end up with other problems from her. Thankfully this behavior is rare. (It's usually men who text women too often. Right ladies?)
If this happens before you have sex with her, go ahead and respond to her, but make sure to A) wait a LONG time before responding to her initial text, and B) terminate the conversation relatively quickly, as in after a few exchanges. Make up some harmless excuse if you absolutely have to. No long-winded text convos with women like this!
If this happens once you've had sex a few times and you're in a relationship (any type of relationship, FB, MLTR, WD, LTR, it doesn't matter), next time you see her in person, tell her clearly that you're busy and that often you won't be able to respond to texts. Be very sweet, but very firm and clear.
Make sure you do this in person, not over texts. Never tell a woman to "stop texting you" or "text less often" over texts. Always do it in person. Remember, texting is a much more hard-edged form of communication than than one-on-one verbal.
One of the recurring themes for text game is to never have any intensive or sensitive conversations over texts. Keep those for face-to-face interactions (if you do them at all). Women will often try to have these convo's over texting. Don't let them. That's it for now! Next time in the text game series we'll talk about how to use texting to boost her attraction levels for you.
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juniperpansy 2012-01-15 16:57:51
When a girl says something like: ”Well I don’t want to have sex, but we could get in your bed and cuddle!” I always respond with something like "Its ok, We don't have to have sex if you don't want to. I'm not going to make you do anything to make you feel uncomfortable." Most of the time when she says the above its because she WANTS to fuck you. She just needfs plausible deniability for her actions and also to know that you will back down in the case she freaks out. Disclaimer: Massively fieldtested in person, but never had that experience come up through texting.
Kevin 2015-12-25 19:37:26
Was dating A married in abusive relationship, 49 I'm 55-fit surfer. Fucking her in hotels , where she'd pay half! I'd give her 3 body shaking orgasms every time !! She dumped me after 18 months for a guy 15 yrs my junior, who relentlessly pursued her whilst I fucked her! I have really become attached , she was texting me even when she left me , but friend zoning me! I could have kept it going, but I said I didn't want to be friends because she was " fucking him"'! That was a month ago,haven't heard from her since! Miss her,but don't want to be the option and him priority!
Alex 2016-04-30 14:09:28
Hey BD! Read all of your articles about texting, think they were spot on, but I just wanted to know, how you would respond to one of your MLTR and FB's sending you something like "I love you" or "You mean a lot to me!" with all the heart emoji stuff etc. Ecspecially with a MLTR. How would you keep your OI mindset in that case, without "hurting" her feelings? Thanks!
Blackdragon 2016-05-01 11:02:54
how you would respond to one of your MLTR and FB’s sending you something like “I love you” or “You mean a lot to me!” with all the heart emoji stuff etc. Ecspecially with a MLTR. How would you keep your OI mindset in that case, without “hurting” her feelings?If she was a FB, I probably wouldn't respond. Then I would ask myself what I did so horribly wrong for her to assume such a frame. If she was a MLTR, I would say, "You make me smile" or something like that.
ac 2016-08-20 21:20:20
Is there a part 5 to this?
Carlito 2016-08-21 08:54:40
re: Excessive Texting What if I like this? I work from home and always have my phone around me. I like getting texts from my girl during the day. I get that I wouldn't want to do this with a FWB, but what if it's a MLTR or LTR? Is it really a problem then?
Blackdragon 2016-08-22 12:22:59
Is there a part 5 to this?I never made a part 5. Maybe I should.
Excessive Texting - What if I like this?That's fine, but you're going to have more drama in your relationships. The more often you communicate, the more drama and betaization you will encourage from her. With FBs and MLTRs, you should keep texting to an absolute minimum, as in once or twice a week. With an OLTR you technically can text every day but you're still asking for trouble if you do so. Do your best to keep the frequency light. I can't comment on LTRs because those are monogamy and I don't advise men in monogamous relationships.
Carlito 2016-08-23 15:16:00
I guess this depends on how much drama they give you in the first place. Maybe it's cause I'm still in my 20's and grew up when texting became popular, but texting my MLTR+ only once a week would be hard. If it's a girl I have feelings for, I'd want to have her more involved in my life than that.
Blackdragon 2016-08-23 16:18:12
I've had tons of women's in their 20s in MLTRs and never had a problem texting them once or twice a week. But if you just can't stand it, then go ahead and text them more. It's your life. You'll get drama though, and your relationship won't last as long as mine do.
Ed 2017-01-06 14:14:48
Is part 5 still coming? I'd say that this is one of the best series, considering that texting is the most used form of communication nowadays
Blackdragon 2017-01-06 14:24:47
Yeah, someday. It's low on the list though.