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Freedom and the Alpha Male
This is one of the more important posts I've made. I was planning on delaying it until the blog revamp, but that project's been delayed. So what the hell. I'll post it now. I have defined the Alpha Male, or at least the Alpha Male 2.0 I discuss here (as opposed to the Alpha Male 1.0 or "Needy Alpha") as a confident, outcome independent man who can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, without having to check in with anyone.
-By Caleb Jones
But that whole part doing "whatever he wants, whenever he wants, without having to check in with anyone" is the part that some men misunderstand, deny, or even fear. It's an extreme level of personal freedom (and thus, happiness) that very few people ever experience. Today I'm going to be very specific and illustrate exactly what this means and how it looks.
I live the Alpha Male lifestyle. I've already described a typical day in my life, but I want to be very specific about the "doing whatever you want" part.
When I wake up in the morning, I can literally do whatever I feel like doing with my day. My only constraints are the law, my financial resources, and my personal code of ethics. Other than those things, which restrain all civilized human behavior, I can do literally whatever the hell I feel like. There are seven reasons why.
1. I have no wife. (This is by choice, since I average 1-2 marriage proposals from women per year.) This means I can do whatever I want with my time without a woman nagging at me, complaining, or telling me what to do. This also means I can date and have sex with whomever I choose, whenever I choose.
This also means I don't have the huge financial expense a wife incurs to the typical middle-class man. (Men talk a lot about divorce, but unmarried men vastly underestimate how expensive it is to be married.)
This also means I can spend my money in any way I want without having to get permission from, or negotiate with, or argue with a wife. That was one of my biggest pet peeves back when I was married. I would bust my ass, working very hard for a little cash, then I had to bring it home and get permission to spend it the way I wanted.
2. I have no job. I am self-employed. This means I do not have to report to a boss, company, corporate schedule, or human resources manager. I can work, or not, and no one tells me what to do or yells at me when I don't do it. (Yes, I have clients, but a client is nothing like a boss. Not even close.)
This also means that I do not have a static salary that never changes. Being paid on a salary was the number one reason I quit my job and started my business 17 years ago. I hated the fact that while at a corporate job I would bust my ass, put in the extra hours, do well for the company, yet still get paid within 3-5% of everyone else with my same job title, including people who were lazy or incompetent. I wanted to get paid extra if I did well.
I also wanted the freedom to take off and not work whenever I chose. When I had my last real "job" back in the mid-90s, I read Donald Trump's autobiography. His wealth did not impress me (he was born rich, and I'm never impressed by guys who were born rich).
What did impress me was that he had the freedom to simply walk out of his office at 2pm on a Tuesday and go visit his daughter at school, whenever he wanted, without having to check in with anyone. I remember swooning when I read that, me reading his book while sitting in my stupid little cubicle at Nike corporate headquarters. Nike is a good company by the way; I have nothing against Nike...my problem was with having a job.
Employees must be hired, fired, managed, babysat, negotiated with, sometimes argued with, coddled, and legally protected against. Many business owners spend up to 60% to 70% of their time dealing with employee problems instead of actually running their business.
Worse, the instant you hire an employee you are subject to thousands of pages of laws that will force you to fill out paperwork, pay extra taxes, tell you exactly how to manage that employee, how much to pay that employee (even if they're a terrible employee), how much time off to give that employee (even if they're a terrible employee), and when you can or can't fire the employee (even if they're a terrible employee).
It is almost impossible to be a free man and live the Alpha Male lifestyle if you own a business with employees. (Yeah, it's possible, but it's extremely rare.)
4. I never promise any woman monogamy. This is old news of course, but I don't do monogamy. Ever. And never will. Even if I have a woman who rises to the level of serious girlfriend (OLTR), I never promise or even imply monogamy to anyone. Even if (God forbid) I get married again as I get older, I still will not be monogamous. I might back off on the number of side-women, sure. But I will never make the promise that I won't be sexual with other women.
Promising a woman monogamy is the stupidest, most ridiculous promise Alpha Males make, and it always results in boredom, frustration, deception, cheating, drama, breakups, and divorces. No thank you. I prefer happiness. But I've already discussed this topic to death.
In context here, this means that I can go have consensual sex with any woman I want, whenever I want, even if I have a serious woman in my life, and even if I'm married. I literally never go without sex. If my main gal doesn't want to have sex with me, no problem. I just grab a condom and go have sex with someone else.
A woman has every right to say no to you and you must respect that right, but no woman has the right to tell you to not have sex with another woman. Saying "You can't have sex with me" is fine, but when a woman tells a man "You can't have sex with me and you can't have sex with anyone else either," that's like saying "You can't go to the bathroom." Because I don't promise monogamy, no woman has the power to be my sexual overlord and forbid me to take care of a needed biological function all healthy men have.
5. My income is largely location independent. I say "largely" because this is one area I'm still working on. The point is my income does not require an external office that I need to go drive to. In addition, most of my income does not require me to live or work in any one specific city. This means that I can travel wherever I want and live wherever I want. The only reason I live where I currently live is because I have kids here, so I make the choice to stay. But that's my choice. I'm not "stuck" in my city in order to make a living, or because I "can't" move because "my wife won't let me" like most other men.
6. I have no small children I am responsible for. I do have kids, but they do not live with me full time. Even if they did, it wouldn't be any big deal because my son is all grown up and my daughter is 15 years old, which means they do not require my constant supervision like a five year-old would.
I have talked before about the numerous studies that show that as soon as people have kids, their overall happiness levels decrease, then finally increase back up when the youngest kid leaves home 20 years later. This is because it is almost impossible to be a free person if you are responsible for small children.
The topic of raising children as an Alpha Male is a big one, and I devoted two full chapters to it in the Alpha Male book, but the point here is that you cannot be free if you are responsible for small children that live full-time with you, unless you have worked out a very unusual arrangement.
7. I live simply. My expenses, my debt, and my taxes are all low. I live in a lower-middle-class house in a lower-middle-class neighborhood. I drive a seven year-old car. The desk I am now typing on I bought 14 years ago, and it was used when I bought it. I live in one of the lowest-taxed states in the United States, on purpose.
This means I am not controlled nearly as much by taxes, debt, expenses, tight budgets, or the suburban keeping-up-with-the-Joneses lifestyle most Americans pursue. If a recession hits or if I have a bad income month, I'm upset but I'm okay. I have a lot of buddies whose businesses were completely wiped out during the crash of 2008. I have a few friends whose retirements were wiped out during the dot-com bust of 2000. I survived both of those recessions, and I will survive future ones, and one of the biggest reasons is because I live simply.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I never spend big money on anything. One of the traits of the Alpha Male is that he does not live in a state of financial lack. I do travel internationally occasionally, and that does cost money. I do buy nice clothes, because I like to look good. I do have monthly obligations like child support that I pay regularly. But none of these things require a "high" lifestyle.
When you add all of these things up, this means every morning I can wake up and do literally whatever the hell I want, whenever I want, without having to check in with anyone. Any time I want, I can...
Have sex (with more than one woman if I choose)
Spend time with my family
Go see a movie
Focus on work projects that excite me
Travel to distant lands
More importantly, I can do any of these things at 9am in the morning, or 2pm in the afternoon, or 10:30pm at night. I can do them on a Sunday afternoon just as easily as I can do them on a Tuesday morning. I never need to check in with anyone, coordinate with anyone, let anyone "know", or get permission from anyone. I am my own man. And I always will be, even if I move in with a special gal down the road (which I probably will).
It's a wonderful, wonderful way to live, and I have never been as happy as I am now, having lived this lifestyle for going on seven years now.
What I just described is very unusual. I would say perhaps less than 4% of the male population live this lifestyle. Most men are married and are slaves to their wives, or under crushing debt, or trapped in a job or business they "can't" quit, or have monogamous girlfriends, or whatever. They only experience personal freedom in varying degrees and in small spurts. They don't live the free life that I and other Alpha Male 2.0s have.
Some of these men either misunderstand what this kind of free life is, or worse, they rationalize that they don't want this kind of life or that there is something inherently wrong with it. Here are some of the objections they use when I describe a lifestyle like this. I can't live like that. I need a connection with a woman and you can't have that if you're not monogamous.
There are millions of married couples with discreet open marriages who would disagree with you and who are doing just fine. But I have answered that objection in vast detail. Read this free ebook here if you want more information. You don't understand. I have a law/medical/dental/whatever degree that cost me thousands of dollars and almost a decade of schooling/internship. I can't just chuck it all and live this kind of life. Okay, then that's the choice you're making. But I'm still free, and you're still not. It's your life and you're more than welcome to stay un-free if you choose.
This is bullshit! I'm married and I can do whatever I want too!
Oh really? You can go fuck that cute 23 year-old girl who lives down the street, and your wife would have no problem with that? You can go out tomorrow morning and borrow $30,000 to buy a brand new pickup truck and your wife will have no problem with that? You can take off next week and spend two weeks in Thailand all by yourself and your wife would have no problem with that?
If you're married, and it's a traditional monogamous marriage, I'm sorry, but you cannot do whatever you want. You can make all the tough-guy excuses you like, but that's the way it is and you know it.
But I want to have kids someday. I understand, I have kids myself. If you want to have kids, then have them. But you need to realize that if you have kids, your freedom (and thus, happiness) will decrease a noticeable degree at least for 10 years, if not longer.
My advice to men wanting children is to do what Arnold did and have kids as late in life as possible, after you have accomplished all of your big dreams. The more dreams in life you have accomplished before having children, the less children will detract from your freedom and happiness when they do come.
Equally important, do not fall into the trap most men do of assuming that kids = monogamy. It does not. As I've said, there are literally millions of married couples with discreet open marriages or swinger marriages who have kids who are doing just fine. I personally know and have interviewed many of these couples. I even have some in my very own family. Do NOT fall for the myth that the "only" way to have kids is to chop off your balls and put them in a woman's purse for 18 years by being monogamous. It won't work anyway, since divorce and cheating rates go up when people have kids, not down.
It's selfish when business owners don't have employees. You're not contributing to the economy or society. Then are you calling everyone in the world with a job selfish? Because they have no employees either.
Study economics. You'll see that starting a small business, providing a product or service the marketplace wants, earning a profit, and paying taxes on that profit (you're not going to all your dodge taxes like some huge corporation), even if you do it with no employees, means you are a net growth contributor to the economy. You are helping the economy and helping the world. Moreover, I didn't say "don't ever get help from anyone". I said don't get employees. I use subcontractors often and pay these people a lot of money. Again, I help the economy. By starting a small business, you will too.
You Can Do It
You can live a life like this, if you desire it strongly enough. I am living proof. Many years ago I was the normal AFC beta male. Married, monogamous, financially strapped, stuck at a "job" (and then a business with employees), stressed out, and totally un-free. If I can do it, you can do it too. If this is the lifestyle you want, stop making excuses and get to work. It's waiting for you.
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Sparks 2013-06-26 08:53:45
BD any pointers on how to first breach the nonmonogamy issue with a new girl. I am seeing two VYW's at the moment, both know that I am 'dating around' as I put it. My #1 gal (22) has already told me she 'isn't looking for a boyfriend' at the moment. But I'm reluctant to drop the bombshell that I will never be monogamous to her. How do you raise the subject without her getting annoyed?
Batman 2013-06-26 10:21:31
I think that you live a pretty good life, relatively speaking, but it's clear that your commitment to continue living this life will ultimately lead you to a place where your freedom is taken away (whether it's age, a new Gestapo that comes along, a natural disaster, etc.) because your mindset is such that you're trying so hard to preserve your lifestyle: increasing income, continually bedding women, etc. I've always thought that the Joker, specifically Heath Ledger's portrayal, was the most Alpha a man could get (I'm sure you're quite familiar with the film, as I've read your review about the latest of the trilogy). In the interrogation scene with Batman, the Joker remarks: "you have nothing, nothing to threaten me with." Literally nothing Batman, or anyone else, would do to the Joker could upset his level of happiness. He didn't fear death, and he didn't fear not being able to kill people anymore. He didn't fear anything. Basically he was just fucking around until he died. One other character that comes to mind is De Niro in the movie "Heat" (his character was based on career criminal Neil McCauley). While having coffee with Al Pacino's character, De Niro shoots back: "I am never going back [to jail]," meaning that he was going to run around pulling jobs until he died doing it, which he does. My ultimate point is this: a free man does what he wants to do for as long as he can, but when the day comes that he can no longer do that, he is at peace with the finality and his happiness does not drop - not at all - on that day. That's ultimate freedom, I think.
En 2013-06-26 15:10:19
@Batman It's true that that the examples you provided are free in the sense that nobody can take anything away from them, at least in the sense of their happiness/not being in jail. However, you are overlooking the fact that sometimes actions are dictated not by avoiding displeasure but by seeking pleasure. Simply put, a man might be inclined to take a specific path to seek what he enjoys. That doesn't mean he isn't free. He could always choose to not enjoy himself to the fullest and nobody could stop him, but in a theoretical sense, there will always be an optimal path to happiness. Just because it exists does not make one not free In some sense, you could say that a man who has any sources of happiness cannot then be completely free, since after all though sources could be cut off...if you subscribe to that idea though, the obvious choice is to give it up where happiness is concerned.
dennis 2013-06-26 17:04:17
None of us are completely free, that's an illusion. We have to work to support ourselves whether self employed or not. It's a matter of degree. If you want something, nobody is going to give it to you...you have to spend some effort to get it whether you like to make that effort or not. Take working out in the gym. If you wish to keep your body in shape then you must workout regularly..you have to plan the workout times and you can't do anything else during that planned time. Of course you could miss the workout but than you wouldn't be in shape. If you want pussy then you have to seduce some woman whether you like it or not. Lastly, I would guess that less than 2% of men have the "freedom" that BD describes or can obtain it(men with rich inheritance excluded), which translate to less than 2% of men can be Alpha2? As I said, it's all a matter of degree and happiness is in the eye of the beholder.
Austin 2013-06-26 18:32:18
1. Have no wife 2. Be self-employed 3. Have no employees 4. Never promise any women monogamy 5. Get a location independent income 6. Have no children 7. Live simply The Seven Commandments of the Free Alpha. Church of Blackdragon XD By the way, do you have an ETA for your new book?
David 2013-06-26 19:27:22
I recently finished Harry Browne's "How I found freedom in an unfree world." Definitely a lot of connection here between DB's post and HB's book. I love how DB provided a solid framework for me to work with to incorporate HB's philosophy into my life. Freedom is within reach of everyone, but there will a price to be paid, money or time. If you're in a miserable marriage, and you want a divorce, you'll have to paid a price in money and time. Nothing is ever free.
Alejandro 2013-06-27 03:11:50
While the having no employees thing may be true. Imagine how humanity would be right now if everybody had the same opinion. We would be like 300 years in the past. Pretty much all big projects require employees. Imagine running an oil drilling platform, a cemical plant or a fabric without employees. Yeah, good luck with that.
Batman 2013-06-27 13:17:50
En-- I am not "overlooking the fact that sometimes actions are dictated not by avoiding displeasure but by seeking pleasure." Those characters were doing what they enjoyed/what gave them pleasure, but they ultimately saw it all as just a way to pass the time instead of some calling or mission with ultimate meaning (for them, it only mattered as long as they were doing it, not after). Thus, it didn't really matter to them when it was over. Regarding the claim that "You Can Do It" (which Alejandro alluded to): That's really false advertising. The only reason you, Blackdragon, run this lifestyle is because of a set of circumstances (life experiences and DNA) that allow you to do it. I don't know specifically what those circumstances are, but it's a result of your past experiences that have put you in a situation today that allow you to do what you're doing (It's like the guy who's extremely good looking and wherever he goes turns down girls left and right. The guy who isn't good looking can't turn down girls left and right because he simply doesn't have any girls to turn down everywhere he goes.). Everyone doesn't have the "desire" to have this lifestyle, and you make the naive assumption that anyone can just find that desire. The only reason you found that desire is because you didn't like your life the way it was before and reached a point that basically forced you to make some changes. The people who haven't reached such a threshold can't in fact "desire" it. So, yeah, it is possible (and you're right, you are "living proof"), but, no, not everyone can do it because not everyone has your DNA and life experiences to make it happen. Alejandro's examples are the practical example of what I just explained.
Blackdragon 2013-06-27 15:08:16
A few points: 1. True freedom is of course impossible. You have to work to get what you want, someday you’ll get old and die even when you don’t want to, governments interfere, etc. But the goal is not to be some kind of freedom god or superman beyond the ken of mere mortals. The goal is to be as free as possible within the confines of normal human existence. 2. It is absolutely true that the vast majority of men will not choose this lifestyle. That’s what I alluded to in the first few paragraphs of the post. Most men are going to fear a lifestyle like this, or consider it “selfish”, or be too societally brainwashed to consider it an option. My fantasy is that someday, with the help of the manosphere and other movements, up to 15% of men do choose this lifestyle or something that looks very close to it. What a wonderful thing that would be. But it probably won’t ever go past 15% at the very, very most, at least not in my lifetime. The massive wave of societal programming against this kind of thing is just too strong, as is most modern men's fear and neediness. 3. Those are the men who CHOOSE not to live a life like this. The issue of whether they are ABLE to live it is an entirely different matter. The majority of men in society DO have the ability to live this way if they choose. By “majority” I mean more than 50%. We could ague about the exact percentage of men who literally don’t have the ability to live a life like this...maybe it’s 5%, maybe it’s 40%, but the point is most can. It does not take some kind of godlike superman to get a divorce or refuse to get legally married. Nor does it take one to start a small business that doesn’t require employees. Pussy dumbasses do these things every day. Not getting monogamous is a little more difficult I'll agree, but again, it doesn't take a superman. I know plenty of "normal" or "lower-end" guys who do this just fine. Most men can do these things if they choose. And it’s true that most will chose not to; but that's a matter of choice, not ability. By the way Batman, to suggest that I am one of the magical privileged few to live this lifestyle strictly because of my DNA or upbringing is insane. If that were true, my siblings (I have five of them) would be living a life like this and none of them even come close. If your argument is that I’m unusual in that I choose to live this life, then yes, that’s true. But I am not unique because I have the ability. Again, most men do. I'll say it one more time for the cheap seats: Most men can do this. Moreover, any man reading this blog can not use ignorance as an excuse. (That’s sort of the point here. 🙂 )
Batman 2013-06-27 19:32:06
It is a fallacy to think that because one person is successful at doing something other people can follow that same script and achieve the same outcome. That's not the way things work. You are in fact "one of the magical privileged few to live this lifestyle [at this point in time] strictly because of [your] DNA [and] upbringing[/experiences]." Your siblings are not you, and you are not them, even though you're blood relatives. Thus, you each react differently to different situations. I'll use myself as an example to illustrate this point. It's impossible for me right now to live the life you live with regard to all your goals and agendas and missions. Why? Because I already did that in my early 20s. I slaved alway, charting goals and planning this and that. Now, however, I can't possibly do that: find that desire to focus intently, because I've already done it. And guess what? It was impossible for most of my friends to live the way I was living back then because they were too focused on building social clicks to be bothered with setting goals like I was. A lot of those guys right now are more goal/mission oriented than me, and it's because they never were early on (they didn't burn out yet). It's now their time to shine, whereas for me I already did what they're doing now. I'm assuming you'll argue that I chose to focus at that point in my life and my buddies chose not to; and now they're choosing to focus more and I'm not. Wrong. It's wasn't a choice at all. It might seem like a choice on the surface, but when you really dig beneath the layers, you can see that I was basically FORCED to choose what I chose (I came from a family where neither parent went to college and finances were tight, and so I was super motivated. Note: it wasn't my parents who forced me; I simply saw our situation and wanted something different) and my friends weren't as motivated because they didn't see the need to at the time, as their parents were more well off. This is of course just one example of the cause of the compulsion to succeed, but we could, if we wanted, look at many more and even look at your situation and realize all the causes that compelled you to lead the life you're currently living and see why other guys or your family members can't. All those motivational speakers and self-help books are a form of societal programming that leads people to thinking that, at the drop of a hat, each and every human being has the ability to "change his or her life." Sure, some people can, but not everyone in any particular moment. I hope I've explained this thoroughly.
Batman 2013-06-27 19:35:47
Forgot to inclue about your closing line: You're correct about ignorance, and how people should not use it as an excuse after they've read your stuff. However, as I said before, the person with the information needs to mentally and physically be in a position to use that information, and most men are not in any particular moment in time.
dennis 2013-06-28 12:15:22
@BD I propose that your Alpha2 man is fiction and totally dependent on age. Right now you are in your prime, health wise and earning potential wise. Fast forward another 20+ years. If you haven't worked out nor ate right you will have health problems to deal with. Also you earning opportunities will limited and slowly disappear because of your age and/or health. If you haven't made it, earning-wise or wealth-wise by 60, you are doomed to a life of trying to make ends meet..talk about stress! With respect to women, forget about 20 yr olds you are in the ewwww box. Single women in their 40s , 50s and 60s all have emotional baggage which means drama. Also the number of attractive women in that age group that will fuck by day3 exponentially decreases with age. That is, the supply of attractive women gets a lot smaller. Also to fuck this smaller supply of women by day1, day2 or day3 depends on what kind of shape you are in. Also because of these women's emotional baggage, and their lack of female hormones(menopause) they are less forgiving of you fucking other women at the same time. Just my experience. I'm in great shape, have good money and fuck these women. Not one has lasted more than 3 months.
Blackdragon 2013-06-28 13:04:52
@Dennis - Yes. I have said many times before that once a man turns 60, many of the rules change. (At that point even monogamy might be a valid option.) How exactly this kind of lifestyle would work or look like for a man well over 60 is an entirely different topic that perhaps warrants its own blog post. For the time being, let's agree that when I talk about Alpha Male 2.0, I'm talking about men age 25-55 or so. A 60+ Alpha would indeed look different. @Batman
It is a fallacy to think that because one person is successful at doing something other people can follow that same script and achieve the same outcome.Wow. I'm not sure what planet you live on, but that's like saying 2+2=5. At least 80% of my success in life in all areas are because I copied other men who went before me, did what they did, and got similar results. The entire concept of science is based on the same principle. Moreover your argument about how you are "forced" to live a certain way doesn't make any sense. I'm very glad I don't live in your world.
Batman 2013-06-28 19:43:36
I said "same" and you said "similar." Why didn't you get the exact same results? You can re-read my previous post for the explanation. And guess what -- if you weren't as analytical or patient or whatever traits you have, your results would have been significantly different and not "similar" at all. This is one reason (there are others) your lifestyle is not attainable by everyone, even those who aren't claiming ignorance. Your understanding in causality is lacking, which is why you can't understand the reason people behave the way they do. You think it just happens at the drop of a hat or something.
HungryWolfe 2013-06-29 00:59:05
Are you crazy batman?
Batman 2013-06-29 08:25:09
HungryWolfe -- Explain what is "crazy" about what I wrote and then we can answer your question. Intriguing you popped up out of nowhere, at this time, to fire off a dismissing question. I have an idea as to who you really are, HW.
HungryWolfe 2013-06-29 19:36:49
I may have appeared out of no where but that question was a valid and honest question. You keep going on about choices and how in the end your not responsible for you own actions as it was already set in your DNA, why do you feel that way? That's a defeatist attitude with nothing to back up your claims. You are more then the sums of your DNA, no matter how little choices we have at the end we still have choices. And theres a simple reason for why people can't achieve the similar lifestyle results, lack of conviction. It's too easy to want somethings its another thing to actually work for it. I also don't know where you got the notion where Blackdragon has insinuating that success is an overnight process, find me that post. You have the presumption that a person can do the same things as another person and get the same results but you were already incorrect in assuming you can do the exact same things as another person. The only person who can do what Blackdragon can and get the same exact results as Blackdragon is Blackdragon himself but that doesn't mean you cant get similar results not exactly the same but your own version of the results. And why would you ever want to be exactly like anybody? When I say crazy I meant half the time its really hard to understand what your trying to argue, you have a very special and frightening way of seeing the world. It's like turning a street corner and accidentally hearing the ramblings of a stranger. The words make accidental sentences but they don't have any sense to them. And no we don't know each other. Who do you think I am? Do you get messages like mine from other websites and forums as well and think that I'm this person?
Blackdragon 2013-06-29 22:44:23
I could be wrong but I think he thinks you're me, doing some kind of sock puppet.
HungryWolfe 2013-06-29 23:23:08
Lol, then for both our sake I've hoped you've washed your hands.
Batman 2013-06-30 11:12:01
@HungryWolfe Blackdragon is correct. I suspected a sockpuppet, which I hope for his sake was an incorrect judgment on my part. To address your points: 1. I never said people are only products of their DNA. Rather, I said DNA and upbringing/life experiences. People indeed have zero ultimate freedom to make choices because of this fact and we can prove it by answering some questions. Did you choose your genetic makeup? Did you choose to be born? Did you choose to have your first life experience? If you cannot answer yes to any of these questions than it is literally impossible to ever have ultimate freedom. Anything, yes anything, you do now is simply a result of your DNA and life experiences compounded over time. And since you didn't choose either of them, it is impossible to make free choices in your present life. They appear free to you at this point in time ("Oh, I'm going to read this book today"), but that's not the reality. 2. You talk about "lack of conviction" as if people choose not to have it, as if they choose not to have passion/determination etc. You can look above to see why it's completely irrational to view it this way. 3. You misunderstood me with regard to people achieving success overnight. I was talking about people being able to make certain choices "at the drop of a hat." As I said above, choices are a result of the involuntary DNA and life experiences that are placed on a human being and thus are completely dependent on them and cannot be made "at the drop of a hat." 4. Regarding your point about achieving similar/same results: You're mistaken that I "have the presumption that a person can do the same things as another person and get the same results." I never said that. However, you are correct in saying that I was "incorrect in assuming you can do the exact same things as another person." I should have been more careful with my word choice, because people in fact cannot do the exact same things. Ultimately this discussion applies to this blog post because the lifestyle Blackdragon advocates is only attainable by a select group of individuals. The others simply don't have the DNA/life experiences to consider it a viable option.
Blackdragon 2013-06-30 11:26:27
Blackdragon is correct. I suspected a sockpuppet, which I hope for his sake was an incorrect judgment on my part.Listen my friend, I don't need to sock puppet in order to make my points, and it's insulting for you to suggest I would have to. Moreover it's the height of arrogance and immaturity on your part to assume that anyone else who would possibly disagree with your outlandish and poorly-articulated points besides me must be me sock puppeting. I'll repeat what I said earlier: I am very thankful I don't live in your world.
Batman 2013-06-30 12:42:43
You never really addressed my points, Blackdragon. You dismissed them by saying that you're thankful you don't live in my world and said my argument didn't make any sense without saying why -- talk about arrogance and immaturity. Thus, I indeed thought it was a possible sockpuppet. There was a response regarding a different blog post of yours under the username 'franco' where the retort basically said that your lifestyle didn't exist to the masses. Maybe that username will post again but I who knows because I haven't seen it on here much. Regardless, that post had the right idea regarding the lifestyle you are advertising and it's similar in theme - though coming from a different angle - to what I've said here.
Parade 2013-06-30 15:30:23
To change the subject off of superheroes and self-determination... There are other options for freedom than starting your own business... Save as much as you spend, and you'll be completely free in about 17 years, 20 if you want to be extremely safe, with no need to ever work or answer to anyone again, unless it's by choice. I'm sure there are more methods for achieving independence from a life of servitude than just those two...
supra 2013-07-03 17:03:55
The extreme 'freedom' phase is interesting but I note that Senior Dragon has already had kids which makes that freedom both more earned and doubtless more sweet. Frankly his mission in the world (raising good kids) has been accomplished. Having read a great deal of his blog which shows he's a rather deep thinking and feeling person I think his attitude would be a LOT different if he hadn't had his kids even if he says differently. There's a reason Kris Kristofferson wrote "Freedom's just another word for....nothing left to lose".
supra 2013-07-03 17:05:32
Further and to clarify: I would submit that, in the grand scheme of things, his present mission (i.e. his work) is secondary to what he's done with his kids and so he is on a different path than most of us in that respect: simultaneously in the prime of life, making money, and having accomplished his main mission puts him in a good place
Bruce Wayne 2013-07-05 03:39:24
@Batman: You are a child in man's attire. Whatever it is that you claim to have had - it is lost now. You are weak, broken by the roughness of this world. And whatever the cause of your misfortune, it remains this to you, only misfortune. It will never be your fault, your precious little brain will make sure to wrap you in a warm soft blanket and protect you henceforth. Perhaps you fought bravely. Perhaps you even got up every time you were defeated. But one day you didn't anymore. All your might was lost and you remained on the ground, joining the masses, just because it's easier to say "it can't be done" when it's hard to do. It is not because things are either attainable or they aren't. In any daring endeavor some men who leap forward fail. It is that real men are prepared to take the risk. It is cowards who stand by the shore, judging the water cold and the wind harsh, refusing to jump in, waiting for clear weather or yet better a bridge to be built so they can walk it safely. But built by who? I think it's safe to say that you have quite low testosterone levels. It's guys like this that talk and talk and talk without ever moving. Stress and frustration probably lead to this state. What is never wrong it to tell people that something can be done even if you know that it can't. Because people might just surprise you with what they can do. And because your perception of what can't be done is always limited. What IS wrong is to tell people what can't be done just to make yourself feel a little bit better while securing good company in your state of misery. But don't you worry about that - you will always have sufficient company in that. Life is short. You have to believe in yourself to truly live it. I'll leave you with some Nietzsche: "In nooks all over the earth sit men who are waiting, scarcely knowing in what way they are waiting, much less that they are waiting in vain. Occasionally the call that awakens – that accident which gives the "permission" to act — comes too late, when the best youth and strength for action has already been used up by sitting still. And many have found to their horror when they ‘leaped up’ that their limbs had gone to sleep and their spirit had become too heavy. ‘It is too late,’ they said to themselves, having lost their faith in themselves and henceforth forever useless.”
dennis 2013-07-05 10:28:33
@Bruce Wayne Great Nietzsche quote!
Batman 2013-07-07 19:46:35
Bruce (I like how you used that name), I don't think you're understanding my point (possibly I should have just spelled it out instead of using an example, but I didn't want to get all scientific with terms and stuff), which is this: Natural selection has made it such that what each and every person is doing right now at this particular moment in time is a result of only two things: 1) genetics 2) life experiences. In other words, all the roads of your life have led you up to this point in time doing what you're doing (in my case, it's typing this response). It was determined by the universe, or more specifically, the manifestation of the DNA molecule. Now what you're saying in your post is that a person has "to believe in [his or her] self to truly live it," and I agree. Though every person doesn't have the capacity to find that inspiration unless the roads/genetics line up to make that happen at a particular moment in time. Do you understand? Let me put it this way: you can choose what you want to do in any particular moment, but you don't get to choose what you want to want to do. As it relates to this post: natural selection simply won't allow each and every person to jump on the Blackdragon lifestyle plan, or even a large percentage of the population. I believe he estimates that around 4-5% of the population is Alpha at this moment in human history. The reason for that is because all roads of the DNA molecule have led to that 5% right here right now. Best, Batman
Dudley Garner 2013-07-19 02:01:27
Somewhat this article about "alpha males" strikes down into those many definitions and avenues of what it truly means to be a man -- a real man in this sense. But to me (and I don't know if you would agree with me) being physically strong or assertive (or being the alpha male in the hot sense of the word) does not really matter right now -- if the guy can prove to be a very responsible and caring father, a dutiful son, an honest worker, or a morally upright leader in the community -- oh yes, and someone who knows how to respect women, bearing in mind that he has a mother or a sister too.
Yonatan 2015-10-12 00:51:11
Black Dragon, I was just reading this post and one thing struck me. You say you live in one of the lowest tax states on purpose, but then you tell me you live in Oregon. I'm an Oregonian and lived there most my life. However, I will say that it is actually one of the highest taxed states in the country and I left and moved to Washington state because the 10% state income tax was ruining a small business person like myself. Is this article old or do you still live outside of Oregon? I'm confused because you wrote in articles you live in Portland. Unless, you live in Vancouver area, but your business address is West Linn, which means you must pay those dreaded Oregon state taxes? I do respect thist post a lot by the way and appreciate the frugal and modest lifestyle you live. As well, I would like to emulate that and plan on selling off a lot of my furnishings and going back to the more modest roots I had earlier in life. Being encumbered with modern material possessions can hamper your efforts to be free.
Blackdragon 2015-10-12 09:46:16
You say you live in one of the lowest tax states on purpose, but then you tell me you live in Oregon.No. I live in Washington. I moved out of Oregon because the taxes there were way too high.
Derek Adler 2017-04-22 04:11:09
Sorry but you are alpha nothing. You are not virile. You lack masculine protective virtues. You have no legacy. You have no patriachial status. You are not fertile. You are a caricature of masculine.
Blackdragon 2017-04-22 11:57:06
You are not virile. You lack masculine protective virtues. You have no legacy. You have no patriachial status. You are not fertile.Hello? I have kids.
Klap 2018-12-28 07:09:26
By the way Batman, to suggest that I am one of the magical privileged few to live this lifestyle strictly because of my DNA or upbringing is insane.Ok. Part of your achievements can be reached by most, some by many (+50%), but there's a subset which are IQ-related (it's no random thing you carefully avoid that topic I think), and they can be achieved by the % of people with IQ = yours or higher, which one sorta gathers is a tiny little bit less than 50% of people, lol. There's endless literature on the income-IQ relation. I agree that everyone can get women-wise (not before getting harshly scorched by one or two or three of them) and free up to a good point, but on financial matters, each has his own limitations (I for example could never be good at finance "games" due, to quote you, to an economy-averse feminine brain).