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Managing Your Woman Relationships in Times of Crisis
Massive economic recessions. Pandemics. Riots. Standard stuff in the collapsing Western world. As I've talked about in great detail before, expect more of these problems to occur more often, with more regularity, and in more countries.
-By Caleb Jones
We are rapidly entering into a phase of New Normal in the Western world; a darker era were more systemic problems will occur and worsen. It is important that you understand how to effectively manage the women in your life during these times of crisis so that you will be prepared and be a force of stability both for yourself and your women.
My OLTR wife and all of my FBs have been perfectly happy and content during this entire time while everyone else has been freaking the fuck out (with one small exception I’ll explain in a minute). I’m not the only reason for this, but I am a strong contributing factor, and all of these women would say the same. Is it any wonder why women stay with me for so long? Is it any wonder why I have a 94% return rate for women?
Here are several techniques that will help you maintain a more stable and happier woman life while the rest of the world is crumbling around you. Maintaining that solid bubble of order and happiness despite the collapsing economy or tearing social fabric of where you live is what being an Alpha Male 2.0 is all about. It is what makes you more attractive to women and, more importantly, more likely to retain women in your life for the long-term.
Most beta males can’t offer security.
Most Alpha Male 1.0s can’t offer consistent happiness.It is the Alpha Male 2.0, when he does things correctly, who can offer women both. As usual, it is we A2s who will prosper sexually and in relationships with women when normal men are having all kinds of challenges.
Here's what you need to do.
1. Calm the fuck down.
If you are being a spastic anger monger, swimming around in anger porn, screaming and ranting about all the problems you're seeing just like everyone else, then you will be less likely to maintain a sense of stability with the women in your life.
Let the forever-angry left-wingers scream about cops or terrify each other about people killing everyone with this wimpy coronavirus. Let the irrational Trump supporters scream about the protesters, or defend the cops, or rant about incompetent or authoritarian government (which they themselves have directly supported for the past 20 years since the election of George W. Bush).
You need to be above all of this useless anger-masturbation.
Outcome independence is the hallmark of the Alpha Male 2.0, and that means you need to actually demonstrate it when no one else is. If, when women are spending time with you, you are chill, relaxed, smiling, happy, and optimistic, this alone will raise the odds that these women will stay with you and give you less drama when they do.
As a matter of fact, it is during these times of crisis where these kinds of behaviors are even more attractive than they are normally. When your FB, MLTR, or OLTR sees everyone in her life screaming, ranting, complaining, crying, or scared, and then she spends time with you she sees you are none of these things… you’re just smiling and optimistic, that attractive, positive vibe you produce is even more powerful.
As I've said maybe thousands of times over the course of many years to my audience, STOP GIVING A SHIT. That means you need to actually demonstrate this in your day-to-day life, and certainly with the women in your life.
This is even more important if you are dating much younger women, but it applies to all women of all ages. The women in your life want to see that you have your shit together. They want to see that you are consistent, reliable, and steady. Although it can be difficult, make sure you maintain a solid and regular schedule with all of your women. Maintain routine. You need to be her rock, or at least a rock in her life.
If you are living in the same state of chaos as most other people are right now, she is more likely to stop seeing you, or give you more drama or problems when she does.
All of the women in my life, and I mean all of them, know for 100% certainty that I am as constant as the North Star. I am rock solid, all while being chill and relaxed (or excited in a positive way). Again, these traits are going to be even more attractive now and in the future than they ever have been before.
To be clear, this does not mean you act like a beta. You still need to be Alpha. You still need to maintain a high degree of frame, confidence, distance, outcome independence, saying no, sexual prowess, and all the other things necessary to maintain attraction from a woman. I'm just saying that in terms of your day-to-day life, and certainly the areas where she observes you, you need to be strong and consistent.3. Be ruthlessly intolerant of any drama or bullshit.
Just because things are problematic right now does not give anyone the right to give you any drama or crap. In the last several weeks I have definitely noticed an uptick in the amount of drama people try to give me. (I say try to give me, because I don't let them.)
I actually had to soft next one of my newer FBs last week. She was newer to my life and not yet accustomed with my systems or frame; my other primary two FBs have been perfect this entire time. This is an unusual scenario with me; it’s been a very, very long time since I’ve had to soft next anyone.
Over the last several weeks I have had to fire several of my customers for giving me or my staff drama over email. Again, this is unusual.
Everyone is on edge right now, and that's fine. But that is no excuse to throw shit at people.
Listen to me very carefully. The COVID-19 pandemic was not your fault. The horrible reaction governments have had to these problems is likely not your fault. The recession is probably not your fault. Therefore, no one has the right to snap at you just because these things are stressing people out.
Soft next or hard next any woman in your life who gives you any crap even if you think she might have a good reason. Fire any clients or customers who insult you (or your staff) verbally or electronically; remove them off all of your subscriber lists, refund their money if you have to, and tell them to go away and never come back. Dump any friends who give you drama, regardless of how long they’ve been your friend. Stop talking to any family members who give you any shit.
I mean it. Don’t be a pussy about this. You must maintain a high standard of happiness and normalcy during this time. People will respect you for it and you will be happier.
As I have said many times, the reason for drama is irrelevant. Every person over the age of 18 who is not mentally insane has the ability to take a few deep breaths and calm down before they say something or type something in an email, text, or comment. If they don't do this, they are choosing not to do this because they are childish, selfish pussies. That's on them. Kick their asses out of your life, either temporarily (soft next) or permanently (hard next). Don't let this slide just because we are in a state of crisis right now. It’s actually the opposite; during times of crisis, these boundaries and standards are even more important, not less.
I did this myself a few years ago, and this is technically optional, but it will help. Instead of shotgunning the entire world to have sex with tons of girls or to have four, six, or ten women on rotation, you might want to rethink your approach. Your woman life will be much easier to manage if you work with smaller numbers.
In the past I have said that my minimum number is three women and I stand by that. I am recommending to you in times of crisis, that your maximum number of women is also three, or maybe four. Dealing with five, six, seven women or more at the same time might be fine if everything in your life is going perfectly. But I know for a lot of you that is not the case right now. Therefore, some of you more player type, Thrill of the Hunt guys may need to whittle down the number of women that you're seeing and/or attempting to see. This simplifies things.
To be clear, this is not an excuse for monogamy! No, no, NO! This is not an excuse to get lazy or puss out. You should have at least two women in your life with whom you are having sex on a regular basis. Three is better but not required.
I am not saying get lazy. I'm saying you should simplify and optimize, very similar to my business advice. The less people you have to deal with, the easier everything becomes. Just remember the Alpha Male 2.0 minimum of having at least two women in your sex life whom you find at least cute at all times.
The overall message here is that many of you can’t continue business as usual in your business and woman lives. Double this if you are not planning on moving out of the Western world. Simplification, optimization, devotion to your Mission, and clarity are all necessary if you want to build or maintain your happy A2 life as the Western world continues to decline. (I have a lot more information on this coming soon.)
The rewards of doing this are massive. The Alpha Male 2.0 is the man who will win in the end.
As a matter of fact, he's already winning now…
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Redbaron 2020-06-29 08:01:38
We are rapidly entering into a phase of New Normal in the Western world; a darker era were more systemic problems will occur and worsen. It is important that you understand how to effectively manage the women in your life during these times of crisis so that you will be prepared and be a force of stability both for yourself and your women.Yep, according to the Four Turnings theory, we’ll be entering the first turning (High) either at the start of this decade or the start of the 2030s or sometime in between. This Coronavirus thing is either the climax of the current fourth turning (Crisis) or could lead to the climax a couple of years down the road. We’ll see how things play out. In the meantime, I’ll be hoarding up gold and silver like no tomorrow. Going to look into real estate and a second passport too.
Instead of shotgunning the entire world to have sex with tons of girls or to have four, six, or ten women on rotation, you might want to rethink your approach. Your woman life will be much easier to manage if you work with smaller numbers.Yeah I don’t get that either. Even when all is good and well in the world, I have no idea how guys have the time and energy to go out and try to lay 100+ women or whatever thru pickup or try to keep 10+ women on rotation. If I wanted to fuck lots of hot girls and get regular sex, what I would do is do enough pickup and use the BD dating system to get 2 attractive MLTRs or FBs on rotation and then adjust my lifestyle so I can bang lots of hot escorts (and yes I meet the two criteria). 100 escorts over 10 years at $300/pop is only $30,000; an idiot in the USA can make $30k in a single calendar year. Much more effective use of time and money. More money can always be made. Time can never be gotten back.
AlphaOmega 2020-06-29 09:14:19
100 escorts over 10 years at $300/pop is only $30,000; an idiot in the USA can make $30k in a single calendar year. Much more effective use of time and money. More money can always be made. Time can never be gotten back.yes but that is less than 1 meeting per month on average. Thats ok for extreme low sex drive guy or for some once in a while treat. for me only thing that is meaningful is if its at least once a week. Then its more like 15000+ per year. Thats ok but only if you are making like 200k + a year.
Redbaron 2020-06-29 09:33:07
yes but that is less than 1 meeting per month on average. Thats ok for extreme low sex drive guy or for some once in a while treat. for me only thing that is meaningful is if its at least once a week. Then its more like 15000 per year. Thats ok but only if you are making like 200k a year.That’s why I said to get 2 normal women on rotation as MLTRs or FBs. That way you get regular sex without paying large amounts of money for it. The escort thing is to satisfy any Thrill of the Hunt or Player lifestyle or ego-driven urges you may have without having to fart around with PUA too much. But even at 100 hot escorts over 10 years, you fucked more hot girls in 10 years than 99.99% of the male population ever will in their lifetimes. And you didn’t have to lift much of a finger to do it while other guys had to go through excessive amounts of PUA to do it. That would be enough of an ego boost for me. You can still pull off escorts once a week on a lot less than $200k/year but you’d have to have a very minimalist lifestyle.
Blackdragon 2020-06-29 10:28:17
Yeah I don’t get that either. Even when all is good and well in the world, I have no idea how guys have the time and energy to go out and try to lay 100+ women or whatever thru pickup or try to keep 10+ women on rotation.That's just your personal bias talking. You don't think that's important (and neither do I) but there is a strong category of men (most of whom are under age 35) who really enjoy that stuff. Which is fine. My point is to mitigate that when times are unusual as best you can.
I wanted to fuck lots of hot girls and get regular sex, what I would do is do enough pickup and use the BD dating system to get 2 attractive MLTRs or FBs on rotation and then adjust my lifestyle so I can bang lots of hot escorts (and yes I meet the two criteria).Yes, paid escorts or sugar babies is a valid option for men who meet the two criteria: you have have stronger game (can get laid without paying for it) and you have higher income so you can easily afford it without it damaging your finances. Particularly if you already have an OLTR, MLTR, or FB or two in your life you don't pay and the paid women are supplements to what you're already doing. (I do this myself.)
AlphaOmega 2020-06-29 13:56:06
You can still pull off escorts once a week on a lot less than $200k/yearIndeed, I could do that right now, but...
you’d have to have a very minimalist lifestyle.That is a big problem, not really worth it for me at the moment by far. I agree though it is an interesting idea to do it once in a while. I noticed that I have reached a point I can get new women reasonably reliably and they are all reasonably attractive. Sometimes the women even chase me quite hard or fly to meet me. Still, there are some types of women especially at some combination of age and attractiveness that require ridiculous amounts of time and effort to get anywhere with. Strictly speaking I don't really need those women as such but of course I want. Probably doing sugar dating or escorting once in a while would satisfy that.
4. Form a tight “woman inner circle” if you haven’t already.Of course, that is always my plan but problem is that women leave and sometimes the timing isn't good. My results with getting women back have so far been limited and short lived so in terms of future content that I would like to see more of is more details on the process of getting them back or how to set things up so she doesn't leave so easily and or comes back more easily. I guess those are all related though. I am ready to buy a book / course that specializes on exactly this topic if you have enough to say on that and I am sure I am not the only one.
Wired For Success 2020-06-29 21:23:51
"Everyone is on edge right now, and that’s fine. But that is no excuse to throw shit at people." This is sooooooooooo true of the past few months. Don't be chickenshit about getting firm with people guys! Give your friends and family a good smack across the face and tell them to take a damn chill pill! Then tell them to piss off if they continue to act like hysterical children about Covid-19, the BLM protests, etc.
Davex 2020-06-30 04:18:40
Any advice on how you can keep FBs for longer? Whenever I achieve lock in with an FB it seems as if they almost always consistently vanish after a few weeks or a couple of months at best.
CTV 2020-06-30 08:40:51
Us Thrill of The Hunt guys are completely having to Retool right now..
Blackdragon 2020-06-30 10:07:22
Any advice on how you can keep FBs for longer? Whenever I achieve lock in with an FB it seems as if they almost always consistently vanish after a few weeks or a couple of months at best.There's a big difference between "a few weeks" (which is really bad) and a "couple months" (which is often normal). Without knowing the details of what you're doing with your FBs, my very general answer is: 1. Make sure you are following ALL of the Cardinal Rules. ALL of them. The odds are good that you aren't. 2. Be much nicer to your FBs. It's possible you're being too cold or too player with them. 3. Focus on women as far under age 33 as you can. The older she is the shorter she'll last as an FB (unless she already has a boyfriend or husband she's cheating on).
Us Thrill of The Hunt guys are completely having to Retool right now..Yeah, TotH is a harder road. Espeically when you get over age 35. I have a friend who is a hardcore TotH and he's been pulling his hair out lately.
Davex 2020-06-30 11:45:52
There’s a big difference between “a few weeks” (which is really bad) and a “couple months” (which is often normal). Without knowing the details of what you’re doing with your FBs, my very general answer is:So I've noticed the general range for how long an FB lasts tends to be between about 3-8 weeks yes. For me, that's not so much of a difference considering you will only be seeing her once a week (at most) and therefore you're only going to have sex with her a few more times until she LSNFTEs you. Though I agree they do usually come back it's still a bit frustrating considering the effort you have to put in leading up to lock in.
1. Make sure you are following ALL of the Cardinal Rules. ALL of them. The odds are good that you aren’t. 2. Be much nicer to your FBs. It’s possible you’re being too cold or too player with them. 3. Focus on women as far under age 33 as you can. The older she is the shorter she’ll last as an FB (unless she already has a boyfriend or husband she’s cheating on).Ok I'll give you more clarity on the most recent FB who vanished after 3 weeks. I managed to achieve lock in and then moved into relationship management. I followed ALL the cardinal rules. Only saw her once a week, made her cum, didn't initiate contact too much etc. She was also only 19 years old so age wasn't an issue. After I dropped her back after spending a few hours with me she texted me a bunch of flirty messages saying how much she enjoyed the sex yada yada... There were a few back and forths between me and her and then I went to sleep. I didn't contact her for a couple of days and then out of the blue she sends me a long text saying how her life is in shit and a family member is in hospital and she's so stressed and doesn't think she can see me anymore (the excuse kinda sounds like BS). I was cool about it, wished her well and told her if she changed her mind she should hit me up... I have had similar situations to the above happen about 4 times in the last year. I simply don't text them for a day or two and then all of the sudden they send me BS text breaking it off. What do you think?
Blackdragon 2020-06-30 12:38:20
So I’ve noticed the general range for how long an FB lasts tends to be between about 3-8 weekYeah that's way too short.
What do you think?I don't see anything you're doing wrong based on the info in your comment. Either there's something else you're doing wrong that you're not pinpointing (too cold with them, too much player with them, too intimidating, sending out boyfriend vibes you aren't aware of, etc) or you're in a very odd part of the world (which I really doubt).
Matthew 2020-07-01 09:47:59
@Davex: " happen about 4 times in the last year"...well be thankful for even that because some of guys have a hell of time trying to get just 1. Where or how exactly did you get all of them?
Incognito 2020-07-02 00:19:28
I've noticed a distinct uptick in FBs returning since the covid crisis. I've had two of them contact me out of the blue in the past two weeks, including one who said "This is going to sound crazy, but can I come over to have sex with you?" The second one was a ONS who never reached lockin stage. Kind of a strange case, I've never seen BD cover cases of ONS who contact you after months after drifting off after the first encounter. Both were during the rather loose lockdown period, when coffee shops and other usual venues for meet ups were closed. I figured they both thought it might be easier to look up old contacts rather than to meet new guys. *Mandatory location disclosure: Based in SEAsia
AlphaOmega 2020-07-02 01:55:55
@Davex: ” happen about 4 times in the last year”…well be thankful for even that because some of guys have a hell of time trying to get just 1. Where or how exactly did you get all of them?What he describes is pretty common and accurate in my view, unlike what others and BD talk about here.
Both were during the rather loose lockdown period, when coffee shops and other usual venues for meet ups were closed. I figured they both thought it might be easier to look up old contacts rather than to meet new guys.That is what I always think in general - and it makes sense to me, sadly most women don't function that way.
The second one was a ONS who never reached lockin stage. Kind of a strange case, I’ve never seen BD cover cases of ONS who contact you after months after drifting off after the first encounter.I have also had failed dates or ghosted dates contacted me months later asking to come over. Or a girl I dated a couple of times but we didn't reach sex who came two years later spent one night and then vanished again. I wouldn't say its the norm but it definitely isn't that rare.
Zech 2020-07-02 05:42:04
So I’ve noticed the general range for how long an FB lasts tends to be between about 3-8 week Yeah that’s way too short.I've been doing this about 3 years now actively. And I've had same kind of experiences than Davex has. At first I thought "ok, I'm messing something up" but since I've improved, nothing have changed regarding the duration of FB relationships. What do I mean by this? My experience is that there isn't exact number or even close to that that you could generalize that after fucking 2 times in different occasions you have achieved "a lockdown". That's way too simplified and it's skewing the expectations. I tend to think that lock down is likely to happen after 3 or 4 times. 4 is the number after which I haven't gotten any flakes. 2 times is still pretty flaky. Now, regarding Davex experience that FBs last 3-8 weeks, I consider that to be close to truth. My FBs usually last maybe 6-10 weeks if I do everything correctly. If I throw in even a bit MLTR behaviour (break the rules), the duration of relationship goes up instantly. Girls seem to be looking for commitment especially here in nordic countries. This is especially true with confident and secure girls. They have their pride and they don't want to be only one of the girls. Now, there is a other side of the coin. The minority of FBs which last longer (I'd say maybe 20%) will last very long time and they are ok with seeing here and there semi actively (currently I have 3 which have lasted almost 2 years - seeing them maybe every 1 or 2 months). To summarize: FBs usually don't seem to stay for 3-6 months. They stay less than that or more than that. If you mix up a bit of MLTR behaviour, the duration of "FB"-relationship goes way up (I don't like to do this because then I'm not being honest) We may have different kind of experiences but it's just my own experience and the guys I hang with (the guys who are good with women) are different. Also something to think about: Why would a beautiful woman who wants commitment (majority do) and can have "any" man (including alphas), would agree to be "only a FB" when she can have equal quality man AND commitment from him. Sorry to say this but "average alpha 2.0" isn't exactly anything special. Just a good guy with shit together and low drama and that's what women can find anywhere else. They generally don't have any reason to stay with you if they want commitment. You have to be 2 notches above her and then they perhaps agree to stay as FBs even if they desire commitment. I consider myself a strong 8 in relationship market. When I get my net worth around 2-3M (currently around 500-600k) I'm probably closer to a 9 (behind celebs, athletes and actually rich guys). Could I have similar level of results in terms of numbers than BD and "the guys you never hear or see but who say they have the results"? Yes I could but that would mean I must drop bar and game mostly 7s. But maybe this is what BD labels as "cute". Well cute is normal and I prefer not to fuck girls who are only "cute". Could I do it by only bringing 9s to rotation? Hell no, to be able to do that, you have to be really successful - preferably a small celeb, rich dude with high social status and broad social networks or maybe atleast a semi pro athlete (in some "sexy" sport). I've dated couple models who have dated millionaires, pro athletes, celebs etc before me. That's a way another level of game and "normal" high quality guys just doesn't have the power to keep these girls in rotation. Those "girls nextdoor" types who are naturally really beautiful/hot and who have had two high school sweethearts and who haven't realized that they could have top celebs/athletes/rich guys are becoming really rare because of social media. a beautiful girl can reach over instagram to any celeb and get invited to a party. The local village/city SMP has become a national if not global SMP. You are not competing with that Chad in the end of the street but every high value man in the country. So the point is don't expect too much and get used to fucking "average cute girls" (yeah, cute is average and boring when you have had success with women) unless you belong to the 1% of the 1%. I'd say that times has changed even more than guys understand over the last 3 years and I think BDs information/stats are a bit outdated because he has been away from the field at his desk for awhile when it comes to replenishing your rotation and spinning FBs. Over the last 2 years I've improved a lot in multiple ways and my value has gone up, yet I got my best results and hottest girls in my first year of learning this game (so 2-3 years ago).
Blackdragon 2020-07-02 08:52:38
@Zech - Your comment is way too long for me to read but based on my quick scan you are correct, most FBs stay 3-6 months before the first LSNFTE. (MLTRs stay much longer.)
Blackdragon 2020-07-02 08:56:55
I’ve noticed a distinct uptick in FBs returning since the covid crisis.Correct. I've seen average FB lengths shorten over the years but if things start getting really bad (like now) you're going to see these relationships lengthen again as women "lean into" more men. I think that's already happening but we need more time to measure this.
I’ve had two of them contact me out of the blue in the past two weeks, including one who said “This is going to sound crazy, but can I come over to have sex with you?”The same happened to me, with multiple ex FBs and MLTRs over the past several weeks. One just hit me up two days ago after being gone for almost ten years. It's been very interesting.
Kind of a strange case, I’ve never seen BD cover cases of ONS who contact you after months after drifting off after the first encounter.Because of what you just said... these are very rare and strange exceptions to the rule. No point in me talking about them.
Matthew 2020-07-02 10:36:17
@alohaomega: again, if a lot of you guys on here have lots and lots of fb’s where exactly are you getting all of them so easily?? Because I’m having a heck of time even before the stupid virus. I used to try and dabble in day game but don’t have the time anymore and with day game a guy could waste a whole afternoon/day and not actually find 1 women that’s single/willing/available. So this past year I finally decided to plunge into online dating, and I’ve read all the parameters for it that BD has talked about. I used my best possible pictures (I even got a couple of professional photos taken for the first time with a high quality camera ) sent hundreds of openers since last but don’t really have anything to show for it except a couple of conversations here-and-there, no actual dates. Recently now it seems of I’ve ran out of new profiles to message, and I know that bars have started to open back up but im definitely not a bar/nightclub guy it’s not my vibe or scene at all. So it’s like, well shit, now what do I do?
AlphaOmega 2020-07-02 12:48:21
I’d say that times has changed even more than guys understand over the last 3 years and I think BDs information/stats are a bit outdated because he has been away from the field at his desk for awhile when it comes to replenishing your rotation and spinning FBs. Over the last 2 years I’ve improved a lot in multiple ways and my value has gone up, yet I got my best results and hottest girls in my first year of learning this game (so 2-3 years ago).My experience is very similar. I would say it is accurate. About 2-3 years ago it was like someone has flipped the switch. The difficulty to get dates with the same techniques went up drastically. I also agree with what you say about the duration to keep them - need to make it at least low end mltr to make it months and its super hard to make it longer than months unless the kind of girl who is fb minded from the start. I also observe it seems very country specific how this plays out.
Because I’m having a heck of time even before the stupid virus. I used to try and dabble in day game but don’t have the time anymore and with day game a guy could waste a whole afternoon/day and not actually find 1 women that’s single/willing/availableThat is the classic bullshit pua way to do daygame. That is for teenagers with too much time on their hands. The way to do daygame is along the way as you go about your day. Waiting at a bus stop? Talk to that girl. Taking a train? Talk to that girl sitting across from you. Sitting at a cafe and theres a girl sitting nearby? Talk to that girl. But the point is those are places you frequent anyway or do anyway because of some other reason and you chat up those girls when they come up.
hundreds of openers since last but don’t really have anything to show for it except a couple of conversations here-and-there, no actual dates. Recently now it seems of I’ve ran out of new profiles to messageIf you ran out of profiles after just hundreds of profiles then clearly its a very small town you live in or a very low usage site. That could be part of the problem. Having nothing to show for hundreds of profiles means there is a clear issue with the stuff you send out and the women you approach. Perhaps its a site with a lot of dead profiles where the women dont even go online anymore that could be. If you use somethign like Tinder then you obviously need to do profile resets once in a while otherwise it does not work. Then its irrelevant if you run out of profiles. After you reset you will get new matches with women who you swiped before but who did not swipe on you the previous time. That is normal. Especially if you have swapped around pictures or changed your profile description. Profile description on Tinder despite of what everyone says or thinks makes a huge difference.
AlphaOmega 2020-07-02 12:58:21
if a lot of you guys on here have lots and lots of fb’s where exactly are you getting all of them so easily??I don't know if its true that a lot of guys here have lots of fbs. There are a few guys here who regularly talk about some experience with fbs. This does not mean there are lots of guys here who all have lots of fbs. Or that if they do / did that it was easy. Or that the girl would have agreed she was a fb (perhaps she thought she was a gf but that is a different story / issue). For me, most of them from Tinder. Some via social circle / from my past and recently I am playing with Seeking Arrangement. So far I have not paid for any girl there yet but I have not managed to meet most of them yet. Its much much easier and nicer experience than Tinder but most women there have some transactional financial expectations, though not all, especially if you are good looking not so old and make it look like you know how to handle women. It's very expensive to use, a month comparable to maybe annual Tinder premium/gold usage but you probably can get the same results in a month of using Seeking Arrangement as a year on Tinder if you know what you are doing and are good at it. That is, without (directly) paying the girls. If you enter into pay per play then its a whole different story but that is also not really normal dating anymore.
Incognito 2020-07-02 21:08:01
Or that the girl would have agreed she was a fb (perhaps she thought she was a gf but that is a different story / issue)Well, nice girls might not like the term "fuck buddy," but I think they know that they aren't "girl friends." Do you go out on dates? Meet her friends and family? Chat every day? I've been seeing my favorite for almost two years. She's probably an MLTR, not an FB. It was only the other day that she rather diffidenntly asked me if I'd like to meet a friend of hers. He's a high end photographer, done a few good books, stuff I'm interested in. I said sure. If it was a friend who didn't sound like someone I'd have an interesting conversation with, I would have said no. I agreed because I genuinely thought it would be interesting and useful to meet him.
Leon 2020-07-02 22:51:56
@Caleb I'm curious about the new FB, how did you find her (social circle or online dating) and how receptive she was when knew that you are married? About soft-nexting, I've noticed that my OLTR sometimes become passive-aggressive when PMSing. Nowhere near drama level but she becomes irritating in some matters and that lightly annoys me (like getting upset when I get a new FB and giving me sarcastic remarks...). Should I tolerate that 'because it's her hormone speaking' or it's not a valid reason? @Zack thanks for sharing, I sometimes have a similar experience as yours. However,
Why would a beautiful woman who wants commitment (majority do) and can have “any” man (including alphas), would agree to be “only a FB” when she can have equal quality man AND commitment from him. Sorry to say this but “average alpha 2.0” isn’t exactly anything special. Just a good guy with shit together and low drama and that’s what women can find anywhere else. They generally don’t have any reason to stay with you if they want commitment.I believe the most important thing here is not to be ''an average alpha 2.0''. You have to find your USP, unique selling point, that no man (or very few) would have. Maybe it's your sexual prowess (extremely good dirty talk, can fuck for 1 hour, can make her cum again and again, BDSM, or having unique toys that work...), or maybe it's the way you talk or treat her, or maybe it's the vibe in your house... you get the idea. There should be something uniquely good about meeting up and having sex with you. After a while, she will forget your face but never forget those unique experiences. It boosts both retention and return rates. Doing 'survey' with girls to find out what they like about you and bump it up more, or study your competitors to find out what they don't do... Just don't be average.
SabrinaK 2020-07-02 23:28:14
I thought you were meeting your FBs (paid or otherwise) once a week maximum for sex only, do not take them out on dates or chat extensively with them - how is it humanly possible that you are a "strong contributing factor" in their emotional happiness during the crisis?
AlphaOmega 2020-07-03 00:27:25
but I think they know that they aren’t “girl friends.” Do you go out on dates? Meet her friends and family? Chat every day?Meet Friends or family? No, never. Chat every day? Not every day, depending on the girl then a couple of times a week or every other day on average. Go out on dates? Also depends, I had one with which for months we only ever met at my place and then the other girl we went on dates once in a while. They both spent the night every single time and we did hours of cuddling every single time. This is what BD would classify as low level mltr. For me this is automatic its unthinkable to not do that with a girl for me but def doesnt mean shes a gf.
I said sure. If it was a friend who didn’t sound like someone I’d have an interesting conversation with, I would have said no. I agreed because I genuinely thought it would be interesting and useful to meet him.For me that is the same with a gf. If he her friend isnt interesting to me why would I meet that friend? Its not like I am some teenager who doesnt know what to do with his time.
how is it humanly possible that you are a “strong contributing factor” in their emotional happiness during the crisis?It is the week they spend dreamily looking forward to the next fuck meeting.
Incognito 2020-07-03 01:09:55
Should I tolerate that ‘because it’s her hormone speaking’ or it’s not a valid reason?Well, some women obviously do have bad period pain, with emotional reactivity. You do gotta recognize that. If I recognize the signs and she seems to be heading towards a drama mode, I'd politely suggest that we talk about whatever the issue is some other time. Be sympathetic, just as you would if she had any other ailment, but don't let it be an excuse for drama.
POB 2020-07-03 06:57:48
I’ve had two of them contact me out of the blue in the past two weeks, including one who said “This is going to sound crazy, but can I come over to have sex with you?”Same here man! In my case, at least 15 of them on the last 3 months. Some of them were gone for 3 years or more. I told them all that I'm in a serious relationship (OLTR), but right now I'm leaning more on the young side for FBs (most of those chicks are over 28, so I didn't even bother to ask them to come over for sex). One or two were so horny that sent me nudes anyway, even when I told them I already had a serious woman LOL.
Blackdragon 2020-07-03 09:55:01
@Caleb I’m curious about the new FB,When I say "new" I mean "within the last 12 months or so." It's not like she's brand new.
how did you find her (social circle or online dating)Online. She was was sugar daddy game.
and how receptive she was when knew that you are married?Didn't give a shit and she already had a boyfriend anyway, as most younger girls do. Women under the age of 23 pretty much never give a shit about me being married, sugar daddy or normal.
About soft-nexting, I’ve noticed that my OLTR sometimes become passive-aggressive when PMSing. Nowhere near drama level but she becomes irritating in some matters and that lightly annoys me (like getting upset when I get a new FB and giving me sarcastic remarks…). Should I tolerate that ‘because it’s her hormone speaking’ or it’s not a valid reason?1. The reason for drama is always irrelevant. All drama is 100% unacceptable regardless of any hormonal or external reasons. Period. 2. Quick sarcastic comment and that's it does not qualify as drama per my definition.
Matthew 2020-07-03 11:36:15
@alphaomega: Thanks for your responses, though I’m already doing the advice you said. I’ve done many profile resets as you suggested but it hasn’t seemed to matter at all. And I don’t live in a small town, I’m in a medium sized city (over 450,000), I send out the exact same openers that BD says in his online dating ebook, etc etc. I don’t want to use the excuse of “maybe it’s just my area, or the women here are way too picky” but yeah I’m kinda at a loss for words; I’ve put alot of effort into this and feel I should’ve got something by now... I just don’t know
xillong 2020-07-03 13:01:08
@Matthew I have been in a similar situation. It can be frustrating to put in a lot of effort over a prolonged period of time and not get any results. First, it took me half a year of decent online dating effort to get to only one actual date. In the beginning, I had very few conversations and most ended up in silence. But at some point I could schedule sporadic dates. Of course, the first few dates ended up nowhere and I made many mistakes although I was reading BDs great material. After several improvements to my dating profile and messaging communication, scheduling dates became easier, but certainly not effortless. What helped me the most were three things: First: Getting my photos rated to get a better feel for their effectiveness (e.g. photofeeler). I had more success with only one good photo than with two or three that were rather average. Second: Getting routine into the process. I.e. having key topics and questions, batching openers / swipes and responses, taking one or two hours every day after work and many more at the weekend to put in the numbers and improve. Third: Trying different sites and apps. A lot of my first dates came from one site that I did not initially start with. It had only a moderate amount of woman and was rather expensive. It worked great in the beginning, however as of now this is no longer the case. I needed to try different sites for a prolonged period of time before knowing if they worked. After about a year I got enough sporadic results to have two first non-monogamous relationships. One was pretty problematic and way too short (about 5 months as MLTR, failed after the talk), the other was very enjoyable but did not last that long either (about 7 months as MLTR + 4 months as FB, left after a month abroad). Starting at zero women again I was determined but often also frustrated. This time it took 3 months to get a new women and then another 2.5 months to get the next. Although scheduling dates is no longer a big problem, it takes about 5 to 10 dates and 2 to 3 months of part-time effort to bring a new cute women into my life. Hence, it costs me still a great deal of time and energy to acquire new women. Moreover, past woman did not last very long despite my best efforts to follow all the cardinal relationship rules. To summarize, building women skills works in stages. The only way forward is to constantly improve and evolve. Like you, I want to get to the point where I can reliably create non-monogamous relationships. It will probably never be effortless, though. I stopped all pickup activities by end of march in order to protect my time and energy from the virus craziness. My current plan is to get along with the one or two women I am currently seeing and possibly restart online dating when the summer is over. Maybe it will be even harder then, who knows.
Matthew 2020-07-03 19:35:08
Thank you for the thoughtful response xillong, and it’s kind refreshing to see another guy with the same struggles because sometimes when reading comments here it almost feels like everyone else out there is getting a lot of success while I’m just trying to get something going in the first place haha. And thank you for the suggestions though I’ve tried pretty much every single app/site at this point; and I know pictures are the biggest factor but the pictures I have now are by far the best pictures that I’ve ever had in my entire life. I seriously don’t really see any way that I could improve on the pictures I have now since like I said, they’ve made me look the best that I ever have. But your right, I guess it’s trial-and-error and I’ll have to just try to keep trudging along
AlphaOmega 2020-07-04 00:29:36
And I don’t live in a small town, I’m in a medium sized city (over 450,000), I send out the exact same openers that BD says in his online dating ebook, etc etc. I don’t want to use the excuse of “maybe it’s just my area, or the women here are way too picky” but yeah I’m kinda at a loss for words; I’ve put alot of effort into this and feel I should’ve got something by now… I just don’t knowyou obviously shouldnt send exact same opennees with resets unless youre already feel it at least somewhat works. The rests are also your chance to try something mew
AlphaOmega 2020-07-04 00:35:49
here it almost feels like everyone else out there is getting a lot of success while I’m just trying to get something going in the first place haha.No, in fact id say xillongs results are pretty great.
I seriously don’t really see any way that I could improve on the pictures I have now since like I said, they’ve made me look the best that I ever haveyou could hire a professional fashion magazine editorial photographer. Expect to pay hundreds per hour of his time amd expect that he will be fully booked for weeks to come. But this is the kind of guy who can imagine how you can look better taking into account light and colours. Your picture should be a work of art and evoke very specufic feelings and emotions in women. For example who is this guy i wanna meet him and figure him out. Usually its not needed to go this far but if youre really strugglinf maybe it is. Also your profile bio needs to work well with the photo. do you ever have women messaging you first? Have you tried seeking arrangement (you can use it free exclusing messaging people to look around) do you get women hitting you up there?
Matthew 2020-07-04 07:46:22
“You could hire a professional photographer”... I thought I mentioned it but yes I did hire one and that’s why I said the pictures I have are by far my best I ever had. I spent a lot of money on them too and it’s not like I can afford just hire one again every time I want to make a new profile (but I do have about 20-30 to choose from the photo shoot). And yes I have tried different openers/profiles not just the exact same ones but again it doesn’t ever seem to matter. That’s what can get frustrating about all this, the fact that I’m already doing the advice given, I just want to get something going for once
AlphaOmega 2020-07-05 03:52:23
That’s what can get frustrating about all this, the fact that I’m already doing the advice given, I just want to get something going for onceI am almost sure if I saw your profile photos and or the stuff you write to girls / write on your profile I would know what you do wrong. Do you get matches at all and does it just die with the conversations? Are you picky with your women? By the way another thing is in online dating other than sugar daddy if your age difference is too big it doesnt work almost at all, and too big depends on the platform, for tinder for example 5-10 years extra (depending on the city and country) almost never works. That means you either don't do those things for dating if your target age is too different or you change your age there.
Danny 2020-07-11 12:02:52
How do you recover when you fuck up? When the stress gets to you. When you slip up and give one of your girls guy drama. Or emotionally outburst. Ideally this should never happen, but especially for someone in the process of setting up their A2.0 lifestyle, it can happen a lot. To make it less hypothetical, a girl I'm talking to came to my house without asking me first. I didn't want to see her. I had seen her just the day before and hadn't planned on seeing her for a week at least (in an attempt to follow the rules). And I ended up saying harsh words to her in a weak moment, really hurting her. I don't want her to ever come to my house again like that without planning with me first. But I didn't soft next. I was really harsh. How do I move forward from here?
Blackdragon 2020-07-11 19:56:51
a girl I’m talking to came to my househttps://blackdragonblog.com/2016/09/15/theres-one-girl/
Incognito 2020-07-12 04:24:15
How do you recover when you fuck up? When the stress gets to you. When you slip up and give one of your girls guy drama. Or emotionally outburst.If it was an aberration on your part, just return to exemplary behavior and see how it goes. If you've fucked up a few times with the same woman, you might have to cut your losses and move on and start with a clean slate. It's not good if a woman shows up at your house without making an arrangement first. It's fine to make that clear. But if you got rude and abusive, you're putting yourself in a position where she's right and you're wrong. Hard to come back from that one. If you get angry, you're giving a lot of power away.
AlphaOmega 2020-07-13 00:55:39
How do I move forward from here?It is not clear from you message whether its something that keeps happening or happened with one girl. If its one time then learn from it but its insignificant as BD points out. If you keep doing that then obviously you should rethink what you are doing. The example you mentioned happened to me only once in my life since I live on my own so quite a long time span and there were some unusual circumstances. I sometimes wondered why it didnt happen more often especially since for years I live so close to town it was bound to happen a lot but it did not. I think they know I often have complex schedule (or think I do) and even often abroad. Also I usually schedule the dates well in advance and I make it seem like thats the next time I will habe time in my very busy schedule even if thats maybe not true I think she thinks it is so. So if it keeps happening its probably about the way you communicate that it seems you always have time and she can come any time. And about not losing your cool the right responss would be to just not answer the door - make it look like youre not home and she came for nothing because she didnt schedule. Get people used to the fact they need to schedule with you. For example it is impossible to call me on the phone unless im expecting calls otherwise its im flightmode. I answer calls only by appointment. You need something like that for people coming to you also.