I was once on an airplane looking for my seat. When I finally got back to the plane, I saw some middle-aged dude was sitting in it.

“Excuse me,” I said, “I think you’re in my seat.” I showed him my boarding pass clearly indicating that indeed he was.

Before he had a chance to speak, the woman next to him, his wife, exploded in a fiery fury.

“I can’t believe this man!” she screamed, yelling at her husband but talking about me, “I can’t believe he would split up a family like this! This is ridiculous!!!”

I gave the woman a quizzical look, then looked down at the guy.

The guy, being the typical married man, cowered, grunted, then slowly got up to see the stewardess to make arrangements.

But wife wouldn’t have any of that. She screamed at him again. “YOU don’t have to get up and figure this out! This is HIS problem, out OUR problem! HE needs to go figure this out! You sit down! I just can’t believe this man!”

Remember, this guy was sitting in my seat, and I had never spoken to either this man or his wife in my entire life. Eventually I grabbed a stewardess and they stat me somewhere else. The wife kept screaming at her slave, uh, I mean husband.

Air travel is fun. Especially when you’re married to a shrew.

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