When an outspoken guy like me criticizes the political left as often as I do, many people leap to the conclusion that I must be a right-wing conservative. Of course I’m not; I’m a libertarian, never vote for Republicans, and never will.

This is a common problem with us libertarians. Progressives call us right-wingers and right-wingers call us liberals (American definition). In both cases they’re wrong, but Societal Programming incorrectly teaches the world that there are only two options to political discourse: the left and the right. Now pick one, you asshole, so I know whether or not to agree with you or hate you.

Ah, if life were so simple.

Today I’m going to explain exactly why I’m not a conservative or right-winger, and how I actually disagree with right-wingers more often than I do left-wingers.

Here we go:

1. I am anti-war and vehemently anti-empire.

Conservatives are fearful. They look out at the world and see a dangerous, dark place, full of threats and peril. The answer to this, they say, is to spend trillions of dollars and send the military all over the planet, attack and bomb various countries, and then occupy those countries for 70+ years (as in America’s case with Germany and Japan).

Allow me to quote myself from my article on how to handle terrorism:

It is not the US taxpayer’s job to spend billions of dollars to send in bombers or soldiers any time any group of jerks attacks another group of jerks anywhere on planet Earth. It’s not our responsibly, we can’t do it successfully anyway, we screw things up whenever we try, and we can’t afford it with our trillions of dollars of debt.

Exactly. If you really think it’s our job to make sure everyone on planet Earth never misbehaves, you can’t say you’re for small government. You’re for massive government, as most modern-day conservatives are. America spends trillions of dollars policing the world. This is not small government.

I do believe that we Americans should have a very powerful, effective, lethal military, but I want that military to stay here and not do anything unless our borders are invaded. Which is the point of a military in a truly free country, which you conservatives don’t want.

– You should never, ever use your military unless your borders are directly violated.

– When you need to go to war (because your borders were directly violated), get over there, kill the bad guys, and then immediately come back home. No country should ever militarily occupy another for a prolonged period.

2. I am against the drug war, which we lost a very long time ago.

Conservatives love to go on and on about small government…until you bring up the topic of drugs. Then they instantly transform into the biggest authoritarian communists you’ve ever seen. Conservatives believe that we should spend billions (if not trillions) of taxpayer dollars to make sure no one puts certain substances into their own bodies.

Not only is this anti-freedom, but this creates massive crime and death, not only in this country, but in countries like Mexico.

The drug war is an utter failure. All drugs should be legal at the federal level, and if individual states want to make certain drugs legal or illegal, that should be up to them. Again, right-wingers love to blather about state’s rights until you bring up the subject of drugs. Then they transform into Stalin.

By the way, this is coming from a guy who doesn’t do drugs, has never done drugs, and thinks using drugs is extremely stupid. Doesn’t matter. I don’t want my government wasting billions of tax dollars on a drug war that simply wastes money and creates more crime.

– All drugs should be 100% legal, at least at the federal level (the states can do what they want).

– What an adult voluntarily puts into his body is his own damn business. The government should have literally nothing to do with that decision.

3. I believe in social freedom.

In a truly free country, which the US is not, if you want to have sex with 100 people, or have gay sex, or marry your pet horse, or gamble your life savings away, or spend all day jerking off to porn, or bang prostitutes, then dammit, that’s your right and you should be allowed to do it, provided everyone involved is a consenting adult.

You may not like those things. I may not like some of those things. But freedom isn’t about pointing the guns of government at everyone to make sure no one does anything you don’t like. Sometimes freedom is a little messy.

Moreover, as I’ve repeatedly explained to right-wingers online, most human beings aren’t going to want to marry a horse. That’s only a very teeny tiny percentage of the vast population. Ever fearful, conservatives seem to think that there are mobs of people waiting around for the government to legalize polygamy or animal-marriage, and the second that happens, they’ll all run out and do it.

No. The vast majority of humans are normal, everyday people who won’t do that crazy shit regardless if it was legal. Therefore, it’s insane for you “small government” people to say that government should tell people exactly what they are not allowed to do or not do in their personal time.

– All prostitution should be legal (provided everyone involved is a consenting, legal adult).

– All types of gambling should be legal.

– All pornography should be legal (except child porn).

– All sexual activity of any kind should be legal (provided everyone involved is a consenting, legal adult).

– All types of romantic or sexual relationships should be legal (provided everyone involved is a consenting, legal adult).

– If you don’t like this stuff, don’t do it and stay away from people who do. It’s called freedom of association. It’s not that tough.

4. I am for absolute free speech.

These days, you right-wingers are actually much better on this than the left-wingers, so I don’t disagree with you too much on this one. I’ll simply point to the free speech article I wrote here if you want more detail.

– There should be literally zero governmental laws regarding what someone can say or write. (That includes saying swear words on TV or the radio, conservatives!)

– If you don’t like what you’re hearing or reading, turn it off and go do something else.

– If someone’s livelihood is damaged by what someone else says or writes, that person can and should sue for libel or slander in a court of law.

5. I believe government should always remain 100% secular.

In a free country, which you conservatives don’t want, the government has nothing whatsoever to do with religion. It does not endorse or oppose any religion. It is not based on any type of religion. Instead, government is very tiny and stays out of people’s way. It’s “religion” is freedom, not Christianity (or any other belief).

I’m not against religion per se. It’s yet another form of false Societal Programming, and if people want to engage in it and it makes them happy to do so, then fine. But the government should have absolutely nothing to do with it.

The split second you demand that government should follow the exact tenets of any religion, you leave the realm of small government and move towards authoritarianism. Instead, government should provide freedom of religion. Anyone can practice any kind of religion they like, as long as they don’t forcibly intrude onto the rights of others.

– Government should not have anything to do with any religion.

– Government should allow any religion to be practiced within its country without restriction.

6. I am 100% opposed to corporatism and corporate welfare.

I’m a capitalist. Most conservatives are not capitalists, they’re corporatists.

I believe that when a big company, or even an entire industry, does something stupid, outdated, or corrupt and loses piles of money, it should go out of business. There will be a temporary painful downturn in that sector (or even the entire economy) while people recover from their losses and/or find new jobs. After a few years, the economy will turn around. It always does and history has shown this. The beauty of capitalism is that it’s a self-correcting system.

Conservatives, who are corporatists, believe that when a big company / industry does something stupid, outdated, or corrupt and loses piles of money, big government should step in and spend billions, if not trillions of dollars and bail these companies out. Taxpayers get ripped off. Customers get ripped off. Incompetent or corrupt CEOs and upper-level managers get rich. The evil people are rewarded, the good people get screwed.

Then the cycle continues forever. These truly evil corporations (coughbigbankscough) keep on lying to people, mismanaging their companies and funds, and keep getting away with it, because some right-wing (and sometimes left-wing) corporatist in power is always there to keep bailing them out with our taxpayer dollars.  How his this small government? How is this the free market? It isn’t.

– Government should never give any corporation money (unless they’re purchasing a specific product or service from them).

– Government should never give any corporation a loan. That’s what banks are for.

– Government should never print money just to bail out a corporation or industry.

So that’s why I’m not a conservative, will never be one, and will never vote for a Republican. They’re pro-war, pro-empire, pro-drug war, against social freedom, somewhat against free speech, want religion intertwined with government, and are usually pro-corporate welfare.

No thanks.

Yeah, I disagree with the left-wing on all kinds of things. That doesn’t mean I agree with right-wingers. Not even close.

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